Let's Discuss!

bethsmiles

My last class today was canceled so I'm just sitting on campus waiting for BF to be done with class since he is my ride. I'm super bored so I've been lurking around TK and I saw that on SB one of the girls said that it annoyed her when expecting couples decided to keep the baby name they chose a secret until the baby is born. So since there are quiet a few moms -to-be and already mothers on this bored I thought it could be fun to discuss. So did you keep the baby's name a secret? How much input from family did you want when deciding? Why or why not?

Honestly, I would much rather the baby name discussion stay between me and BF, our families are way too opinionated and I can foresee it just being a huge drama if everyone had some input. But I think once we decided on a name I would have no problem telling people what it was and just bean dipping them if they didn't like it. Of course that is entirely hypothetical since babies are a good 5-6 years away for us, I could completely change my mind about all of that when I'm actually pregnant.

heyimbren

Eh, I think it's a personal choice for the couple whether they share that or not. But I'm also not going to tell a couple that I don't like the name they picked either.

But I feel the same way you do, Beth. Once I have decided something, it's pretty hard to sway me otherwise. I'd be more annoyed by people making a rude comment than I would want to change my mind. And I think some of those same people who would make a rude comment before the baby is born could do the same thing after the baby is born.

[Deleted User]

I have a girl's name, Aubrey, and no one would be able to change my mind. All of my girlfriends already know my first daughter will be Aubrey...and I don't really care if anyone else likes the name or not. BF likes it...so that's the only other opinion that counts.

I think it can be difficult for couples if they worry too much what other people think. If you share with others, they will offer their opinions; solicited or not. I think you just have to be prepared for that and not take it personal.

BTW - BF and I are not in any way close to having kids yet....it's just a name that is special to me and so we've discussed this.

desertsun

I'm not sure how open we'll be.

I think what I'd like to do is have 3-4 names kind of picked out, and wait until the baby is born to make a final decision.

Not b/c we would be trying to keep it secret, but just b/c I like the idea of deciding what name suits him/her best AFTER you see his/her little face.

bourgehm

I think I would want to share the baby name, but not as open to opinions. Just say, "Oh yeah! his/her name will be _______. We're excited!" Except then they may still have an opinion. Which then I'll probably second guess my baby name a whole bunch. Hmmm never mind, maybe I'll keep it secret.

tmacwin

When it comes to boy names, it will be BF's name because he is already a jr, and wants to pass on his name, which is an idea that I like. For any other children, I think we will decide between the two of us and then tell everyone. I have no problem whatsoever with people knowing what we will name our babies, but each couple can make that decision for themselves.

kibo8

I think we'll keep it a secret, only because it completely freaks me out when people call an unborn baby by it's future name. My cousin did this all the time. "When Brenden gets here... Brenden is kicking!..." I just couldn't stomach it, i'm not sure why. So to avoid that happening, it will be kept a big secret. Of course, I am mostly just thinking of my family doing this... so maybe everyone will know but them.

I'm not sure if I could actually go through with this, but i'd LOVE to not find out the sex of the baby until he/she is born. It must be so hard to not find out... but it just seems like the greatest surprise in the world.

Beads921

I don't think we'll tell people. If we do, it'll be my parents only. We talk about baby names all the time in a when-it-happens kind of way. Eva is our current girl favourite, and Jason is our current boy favourite (although now I'm thinking of our acquaintance named Jason and thinking it's probably not a good idea - that just came to me now). Anyway, we won't really have a serious conversation about it until the time actually comes, and I doubt we'll choose a name until very late into the pregnancy, so there won't be a ton of time to talk about it with others. 

calindi

We'll definitely keep it a secret.  We'll just tell people we haven't decided yet, and are open for suggestions. Let them tell us which names they like, and we'll just nod and smile.  I don't want anyone's opinions on the specific names we choose - that's personal.  The one thing we're making abundantly clear is that we will not be having a namesake - my guy is a 3rd, and I (for various reasons) do not want a 4th.  So we don't want anyone (namely FFIL) to get disappointed that there won't be a little "#4" running around.

My FSIL is expecting her first child any day now, and we still don't know the name.  They also are saying they "haven't decided" when I'm pretty sure they do know the names.  I'm not particular - I just want to be able to finally say "baby Jane" or "little Jenny" instead of "my future niece-to-be"!!!

bsidebella

I like the idea of keeping the name secret. I am also not a fan of finding out the gender beforehand. It takes all the fun out of it.

Also, people - especially my friends and family - are very, very opinionated. I don't want anyone to "ruin" a name for me. For example: I told one of my best friends that one of my favorite names was Gabriel, and she said, "Oh my God, please don't tell me you're going to name your kid after Gabe Saporta!" Gabe Saporta being the lead singer of Cobra Starship, one of our favorite bands. Up until that point, I never associated the name Gabriel with Gabe Saporta. Now, if I name my future son Gabriel, I will never hear the end of it from my friends.

FI and I have names picked out, so to speak, but will we actually name our kids those names? Only time will tell. And by that I mean, I don't even know if I want kids to begin with LOL.

kibo8

We've thrown around names before and have very... different... taste so we might not actually decided until that day anyway!

I have a pretty unheard of name. I'd like my children to have sort of unique names also, while BF has very plain taste. I'm sure we will compromise somewhere, we just haven't found it yet. :P We have time though, i'm definitely not worried!

jeanacorina

We'll have a couple of ideas (already do) and we may share the options with other people, but DH and I won't be giving our babies actual names before they're born. It's just not our thing. We feel like we'll name our kids once we meet them, because something else we never even thought of might just come to mind when we see their little face and hold their little hand. I would hate to receive personalized gifts for baby "Tom" when he turns out to look a lot more like a "Sam" to us when he's born. How awkward.

skyler1108

I do not have any kids nor do I plan on having kids for a few years. I am not sure if we will keep the name of our future kids to ourselves until the are born or not when the time comes. I know that my Aunt and Uncle kept the names of both my cousins to themselves until they were born because my family can be very opinionated at times.

caitlin.cave

I think it's kind of silly to be annoyed by other people keeping their baby names a secret...  Why get upset about something so small?  I mean, if you and your husband have decided that he gets to pick the name and HE won't tell YOU, yes.  Be annoyed.  But other people?  It's not your baby.

I can understand a little more in the family situations.  It would be kind of frustrating to not have a name when you're talking about the baby all the time.

Personally, I'm not even sure I'll want to know whether it's a boy or a girl, so having a name all picked out is probably not going to happen.

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_lets-discuss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8f749ca5-f33f-4047-8c60-6e27fa2e2d4bPost:ccb4c404-7bd9-4689-acc3-940fb0da305f">Re: Let's Discuss!</a>:
[QUOTE]We'll have a couple of ideas (already do) and we may share the options with other people, but DH and I won't be giving our babies actual names before they're born. It's just not our thing. We feel like we'll name our kids once we meet them, because something else we never even thought of might just come to mind when we see their little face and hold their little hand. I would hate to receive personalized gifts for baby "Tom" when he turns out to look a lot more like a "Sam" to us when he's born. How awkward.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

I've never thought about it that way but it makes a lot of sense. I really like the idea of choosing a final name after you have actually seen and met the baby.

jeanacorina

I also don't think we'll want to know whether we're having a boy or girl. DH and I are big on surprises, and that would be a great surprise. We've talked about not finding out, so I guess that would make the name thing kind of moot.

If other people are annoyed by that, oh, well. Honestly.

motoLyn

I think we would just tell people some off the wall name and stick with it and keep the real names to ourselves and some really close friends and family.  "So what is the baby's name going to be?" My answer with a straight expression "La-Ah"  You know La-dash-ah if its a girl and "Hockett" if its a boy.

bethsmiles

I love surprises but I'm also really impatient so I don't think I could wait to find out if it was a girl or a boy. I don't think I'll be able to make up my mind about that until I'm actually in that situation.

cu97tiger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_lets-discuss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8f749ca5-f33f-4047-8c60-6e27fa2e2d4bPost:f98557c9-a622-4dd2-9241-b60fd58dc560">Let's Discuss!</a>:
[QUOTE]My last class today was canceled so I'm just sitting on campus waiting for BF to be done with class since he is my ride. I'm super bored so I've been lurking around TK and I saw that on SB <strong>one of the girls said that it annoyed her when expecting couples decided to keep the baby name</strong> they chose a secret until the baby is born. So since there are quiet a few moms -to-be and already mothers on this bored I thought it could be fun to discuss. So did you keep the baby's name a secret? How much input from family did you want when deciding? Why or why not? Honestly, I would much rather the baby name discussion stay between me and BF, our families are way too opinionated and I can foresee it just being a huge drama if everyone had some input. But I think once we decided on a name I would have no problem telling people what it was and just bean dipping them if they didn't like it. Of course that is entirely hypothetical since babies are a good 5-6 years away for us, I could completely change my mind about all of that when I'm actually pregnant.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

<div>I have no idea who that person is but she sounds like a b*%ch. She's annoyed by someone else's choice not to disclose their baby name? I bet she's the same kind of person that would be told the baby name and then say 'oh, I knew someone with that name and they were a real jerk' or 'oh, this is the horrible nickname your child will be called.'</div><div>
</div><div>With that said, my sister and BIL are pregnant and not telling us the names. They did it with my niece, and while it would be nice to have a name to put with the belly, it's really none of my business what they decide to do. I kind of like they idea of not getting unwanted input on a name, but I also really like to get people's opinions, so i could see throwing out four names with three of them being decoys just to see what people think.</div><div>
</div><div>Ok, rant over :)</div>

TheMutleys

We didn't keep it a secret because we were waiting to meet him to decide.  We had it narrowed down to 3 names, but were open to others if he didn't fit any of those. 

Everyone will give you an opinion whether you tell them or not.  Your family will have all sorts of 'suggestions.'  Others will be vocal about saying that they don't like names you are considering.  We didn't really care what anyone else thought.  It wasn't that hard to just smile and nod whenever someone gave a suggestion.

It drove people crazy that we didn't actually decide until we had been with him for awhile.  Plus our hospital does not immediately weight or measure babies immediately.  So when DH was calling people to announce the news, he didn't have a name or any of the regular baby 'data.'  We took in being parents and waited until we had spent some time with him before naming him.  We just knew what his name was.  I remember looking at DH and going "So, he's a Gavin.  Right?"  Dh just said "Obviously."  Haha. 

bethsmiles

She wasn't a bitch about, it was on the confessions thread and she admitted it was just because she was nosey and like to know those things. It wasn't like she was demanding that anyone tell her.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_lets-discuss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8f749ca5-f33f-4047-8c60-6e27fa2e2d4bPost:78d454c2-2eb1-48a0-a52b-eb21b463f73b">Re: Let's Discuss!</a>:
[QUOTE]She wasn't a bitch about, it was on the confessions thread and she admitted it was just because she was nosey and like to know those things. It wasn't like she was demanding that anyone tell her.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I totally get it. I hate not knowing things. Curiosity drives me crazy. Thank god for google. Seriously. I can't get through my day without googling at least three or four times.</div><div>
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leia1979

My friend is due any day now (today, actually), and I still don't know what they've named their son. They don't want any criticism, I suppose.

Not a problem for me, but I do have a terrible time naming my furbabies.

jeanacorina

It never occured to me that an unborn child not having a name was anything that would annoy anyone. I just always thought it made sense to meet them before naming them.

What an odd thing to be so itchy to know.

That's my opinion- obviously if people are curious that's fine. But you guys don't even bother asking me what my unborn kids' names are when I get KU. It's not that I'm going to keep it a secret, but I legit won't know for sure.

PaigeMcC

Well, FSIL just had our nephew and we didn't know his name til he was born.  We knew they had ideas but they kept them to themselves.  FBD and I agree that we'll probably pick a few names and wait until we meet the kid to name it.  We won't keep them secret, because I'll admit I was curious and really wanted to know so I feel other people will too, but we won't go flashin' 'em in huge lights either.

Hazel_B

To be honest I don't really want to know other people's baby names before the baby is born. I'm too opinionated, not that I'll say anything bad but my face can't hide the "oh, really?" look.

However, I do really want to know the baby's name once they are born. My friends took over a week to name their son, it drove me crazy. I had known their shortlist and was so curious as to which one it was going to be. It wasn't any on their list that they had mentioned to me though.

FI and I haven't talked about this really, but I have a feeling we won't tell people. There are some names that we have discussed that would definitely receive criticism, so I don't think we would bother. Also, I'm big on meeting the baby and then deciding. I think that was my friends' problem, none of their shortlist fit their son.