I would rather

bajediva

be on that beach I can see from my office, under that coconut tree, draped over my honey, sipping Malibu & pineapple juice, about to go back into the crystal clear water for another swim.

Instead I'm cuffed to this desk by frustration and he's a depressing number of miles away. Days like today it's hard to cherish the now. I want to get on a plane today, have him propose tomorrow, grab a JOP by Saturday & kiss patience good-bye!!

Sigh. Any inspiration out there? Circumstances you got over, tough times you endured? Remind me that patience is worth it.

Button5807

I would rather be sitting at your desk where at least you have a view, I'm facing a wood panel wall and if I turn around I can see out the window to the brick wall of the building next door.

loopy82

I also would rather be on a beach, or anywhere that is above 70 degrees and doesn't have a foot of snow on the ground.

Sorry I can't help with the patience thing..... I have NONE! But good luck though!

PaigeMcC

I would rather it be March 11..b/c that would mean the next day was my forbidden vacation to CUBA!!!!!!!!!!!

But I am at work...about to go arrange flowers for a fundraiser we're doing.

PaigeMcC

Paitence is a violin...no wait...a vulture...?

It's something like that...I dunno I wasn't paying attention when they said it!

bajediva

hehehe...patience is a virtue. is that what you're going for paige?
you gals are makin me feel a little better already.

**Mutley**

Um, I will come stare at the beach in your place. 

I would rather be at the gym.  Sigh.  What I would give to be able to get through a work-out right now!  My muscles are disappearing and I hate it. 

I think that my patience is going to be tested over the next 6-7 months.  I cannot wait to find out the sex in April.  I cannot wait to meet our baby.  I cannot wait to hold him/her.  I know that it will all be worth it.  I want to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy.  And I do not want the baby to come early.  But most days, I get so antsy to see our little one that I do have to stop and cherish where we are at.  We are trying to enjoy our last couple of months just the two of us.  I know that everything will change once the baby is here. 

Your life is only as great as you perceive it to be.  You will never have another today.  If I were you, I would cherish the time you have living alone.  You don't have to put the toilet seat down.  You don't have to deal with stinky socks.  You can have a girlie movie night whenever you want.  Relish doing all of the things that you love.  Remind yourself of the strength your relationship can gain while you are apart.

katanne9

I would rather be able to sit like a normal person. I'm still healing on my bum from my surgery, and I can't sit down. It sucks, and my back is killing me from contorting into strange sideways-sitting positions.

PaigeMcC

Mutley, you're going to be an amazing mother! I can see the love in your posts...and you're a hella smart lady too!

Well said!

bajediva

aw, kathanne! i wish you a speedy recovery.
mutley: i'm pursing my lips & nodding solemnly. now i'm smiling - i think a girls night is definitely due.

PaigeMcC

Girls nights always help! I'm having one on Monday.  Go get your self some margaritas, wine and daquris.  Yes I mean all three, you need supplies. It'll make you feel a whole lot better, bajediva!

paintgirl

Girls night out with martinis! I've been going through a rough time the past few weeks and I learned two invaluable lessons from it: 1) Bloom where you're planted. Sounds lame, but really. I spend a lot of time wishing I was with bf when we're apart and have been missing valuable time with my girlfriends. We don't ever get this time back - make the time apart worthwhile. and 2) What doesn't kill us makes us stronger - and that applies to relationships too. My bf and I are stronger right now than we ever could have been without the challenges we're facing. Knowing he is going to love and support me even during tough times - that's a "trial by fire" sort of thing! You don't know if your relationship can take the heat until you've been through.

I am so blessed ...

loopy82

Wine...I can't wait to go home and have some wine and lasagna the FI is making! Yummy!

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-rather-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:90ea8bcd-a262-4f29-9347-ef13a9c4c17cPost:fb32b2b6-1a7e-4ec3-9cc2-7ea54541b7be">Re: I would rather</a>:
[QUOTE]Mutley, you're going to be an amazing mother! I can see the love in your posts...and you're a hella smart lady too! Well said!
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

Aww.  <a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '7db70f71-d335-49b2-b518-f3a9fd261102', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/13/5/7db70f71-d335-49b2-b518-f3a9fd261102.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>  Thanks.  I truly think I am one of those people who was born to be a mom.  If I could take my confidence, independence and education back to the 50s, I would love to have been a housewife then.  Hehe.  I love my education.  I love intellectual discussions.  But at the end of the day, I love having DH's dinner ready for him when he walks in the door even more.  And I plan on making fresh baked cookies regularly once we have a whole gaggle of kids.  I also love that women have a choice in today's society. 

Can I have the record state that someone said LOVE regarding one of my posts?  Please.  Thank you.  Cookies, freshly baked of course.


Glad you are smiling, baja.  A girls' night out sounds like perfection. 
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '7db70f71-d335-49b2-b518-f3a9fd261102', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> </a>

Button5807

FYI Mutley I'm pretty sure I love about 99% of your posts, perhaps I should be more vocal. ;-)

jeanacorina

Mutley, I am so glad there's another educated, independant woman out there who feels the way I do!

Yes, I want to graduate college with honors. Yes, I'm one smart cookie. Yes, I love my independence and feel strongly that every woman (and person, for that matter) should have the same opportunities and the right to choose what to do with their life.

I want to be a mom. I want to stay home and raise my kids. I want to be available for them when they need me, and I want to learn to cook and bake and keep a clean house. I LOVE a clean house.

Family and education are necessities for me, but a successful career is not. I can be completely fulfilled without climbing a corporate ladder, and I don't care if some people think I'm "wasting my time" with an education they don't think I plan to use.

I think that a college degree should be a requirement for raising children.

Uhh, so that was off-topic. I just wanted to virtual high-five Mutley for being an awesome woman.

**Mutley**

Button, I meant that my post sounded lovey-dovey as opposed to stabby. 

Jeana, virtual high-five back!  We can share the over-educated mom couch when your day comes.  I joke that the best thing to come out of my graduate program was my DH, since I met him through one of my best friends in the program.  My MOH makes comments all the time asking how I can just stay at home or how being with babies all day would drive her crazy.  I think that deep down she is jealous because she does not come close to having that option.

And can I just add that uneducated people having kids scares me!  Anybody that says a college degree is useless once you become a SAHM is ignorant.  I fully agree with your requirement. 

On that tangent, the only thing that scares me more are uneducated SAHMs that homeschool.  *shudder*

Ana_2985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-rather-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:90ea8bcd-a262-4f29-9347-ef13a9c4c17cPost:0ea79e17-c003-4edb-9b83-bc6bcb776c28">Re: I would rather</a>:
[QUOTE]Mutley, I am so glad there's another educated, independant woman out there who feels the way I do!
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

Me too!

People (mostly my mom) are always telling me "You're smart- you can do whatever you want!"  EXACTLY.  The reason I keep going to school is so I can have as many choices as possible but those choices still include being a SAHM.

I know she means well though.  She never went to college and I think she is just so proud that all of her daughters did get to go.  But with or without a college education, if I get to do what she did and if I can be half as good of a mother as she was I will be happy. 

PaigeMcC

I have always wanted to be a SAHM...ALWAYS! My dad is terrified that one day I'll do it! He keeps telling me I'm too smart, have too much potential..yadda yadda but really I totally agree with Mutley and Jeana! 

BF and I had this discussion the other day - I want to be home with my kids.  I want to cook and bake and clean house! I want to spend time with my kids while their growing up!  I don't know that I would stop working forever...but I would like to take a few years off to raise my kids when it's time.  I really respect women  who are smart, educated and make the choice to spend a few years being a SAHM to raise their kids.  I would LOVE to do it when the time comes:)

ashleyjo09

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_would-rather-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:90ea8bcd-a262-4f29-9347-ef13a9c4c17cPost:593ff445-4019-4422-9c60-ed7612641974">Re: I would rather</a>:
[QUOTE]I have always wanted to be a SAHM...ALWAYS! My dad is terrified that one day I'll do it! He keeps telling me I'm too smart, have too much potential..yadda yadda but really I totally agree with Mutley and Jeana!  BF and I had this discussion the other day - I want to be home with my kids.  I want to cook and bake and clean house! I want to spend time with my kids while their growing up!  I don't know that I would stop working forever...but I would like to take a few years off to raise my kids when it's time.  I really respect women  who are smart, educated and make the choice to spend a few years being a SAHM to raise their kids.  I would LOVE to do it when the time comes:)
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

DITTO!! I love that I went to college and I want to work, but I'd like to at the very least be able to take off whenever I wanted to. I want to spend as much time with my kids as possible like my mom did. I was very fortunate that my parents owned their own business so my mom went to every school holiday party and was there to pick me up after school everyday. I hope I have that opportunity!

PaigeMcC

My mom was a nurse that did the night shift while we were young and she was ALWAYS around! She came home from work, got us up, took us to daycare/school then slept til we got off.  She'd pick us up from that and we'd spend time with her and dad til she left for work right before bedtime! She did it until I was about 4 and it was AMAZING.  I loved having my mom around while I was growing up and I would love to be able to do that for my chillens!

noelle24

I would go crazy as a SAHM.  I know that I'd need some sort of interaction beyond what I'd get at home with kids.  For me, I think continuing to work will help keep me more stable and balanced, which will allow me to be a better mother.

It's nice to see that all of you ladies have really thought about your options, before deciding one way or another.  One friend of mine is a lawyer trapped in a job she dislikes. Rather than going out to find a job she loves, she's just killing time until her H finishes residency and they have kids.  This alone doesn't bother me, but I don't think she's even *thought* about not being a SAHM.  All of the women in her family are SAHM's, and she just assumes that she has to be one too.  And she's definitely NOT eager to have kids any time soon.  It just seems like she's going to have them because that's what you do once you get married. I just wish she'd think about it a little more, or try out different things she likes NOW.

Everyone should spend time considering all their options (no matter which decision you ultimately come to).

PaigeMcC

Noelle, I totally agree! Being a SAHM is not a decision to rush into! 

**Mutley**

Noelle, I feel bad that your friend thinks she has to do that because previous generations did.  I know a corporate business driven women who decided to stay at home after realizing that she wasn't a natural mom.  As a result, her self esteem plummeted because staying at home did not help her to be a better mom and she didn't have her work driving her.

To me, feminism is all about choice.  Women have the choice to go to work or stay at home.  And no one should feel trapped by other people into making a specific choice.

I will say that staying at home would not be as enticing for me if we didn't live in an area where lots of other educated women stay at home as well.  There are several mommy groups that don't revolve around kids.  They do kid friendly events while still including intellectually stimulating activities.  Plus we have 2 grandmas nearby for those all important sanity breaks.