Not Engaged Yet

love at first sight?

So someone mentioned love at first sight and how you cannot actually love someone at first sight.  What do you all think?  Do you believe in it? 

I'm not sure.  I fell in love with my puppy at first sight, totally and completely.  I saw her and loved her, and as it turned out she was perfect for me (even if she chews things sometimes).  On the other hand that was not true at all for Fi, lust at first sight yes, love, no.  Perhaps you cannot love a person at first sight, but a puppy you can.  Thoughts?
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Re: love at first sight?

  • MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I believe in lust at first sight. I don't think you can really be IN LOVE with someone until you get to know them.

    I do believe that puppies and babies are the exception.
  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't believe you can love someone at first sight, when it comes to relationships. Could you fall in love with your baby at first sight? Sure. But that's different.

    I do think that love is something that starts as a feeling, and matures into actual love somewhere down the line.

    ETA: I also see a difference between being "in love" with someone and loving someone. Maybe I'm weird but it's between "I'm in love with you" and "I love you".
  • edited December 2011
    I think everyone who likes dogs, loves puppies at first sight. It is just programed into human-dog DNA. Idk about you, but BF is just not as cute as any of my puppies were the first day we brought them home! 

    I knew when I first met FI that we would get married. It was kind of a gut feeling. Did I love him right away? No, that is something that had to grow and develop. I could tell we were extremely compatible. I think the relationship between humans is much more complex than the relationship between humans and animals. Even the relationship between parents and their children can be interesting to look at. You will likely love your child before the day they are born, but they aren't born loving you, that is something they learn to do. 

    Maybe it is easier to love something filled with innocence or with out a strong personality at first sight... IMO, this is one of life's many mysteries. 

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  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    When I saw BF the first time, it was horndog at first sight.  I wanted to take him home, and claim I had to be at work early the next morning.

    Luckily, it didn't work out that way.

    I don't beleive you can fall in love at first sight.

    So, you loved that couch when you saw it on IKEA's website?  OK
    You loved that puppy when you saw him at the pound? OK
    You loved your baby the first time you set eyes on him/her? Definitely. You baked that sucker for nine months.  You're prepared.

    You fell in love with your SO the first time you met? I don't beleive it.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP. Lust at first sight, totally possible. Love, not so much. I had a two month "Am I in love?" inner battle about BF. All of the right stuff was there I was just scared to admit it to myself, and didn't want to freak him out. Love involves your entire self, and I wouldn't throw myself at someone I just saw from across the room.

    As for Puppies/kittehs/other cute squishy animals yes love at first sight is totally possible. Wrkn said it best for kids "You baked that sucker for nine months.  You're prepared."
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  • edited December 2011

    I’m gonna go against the grain on this one and say that I kinda sorta believe in this in a certain sense. Maybe not in “love at first sight” as much as “love at first meet”. I know that technically, when you’ve first met someone you don’t know about all the little traits that make them them, so how could you possibly be in love?

     However, I have definitely been in relationships that started off quite lustfully, but I was never emotionally head over heels or anything. I had never known a rush like meeting BF, and that feeling still hasn’t quit.

    A married friend once told me that unless it’s love at first sight, it’s not meant to be. I was pissed b/c I knew that my feelings for my then-BF were something that had taken time to develop. I still think that she was wrong, but now I understand what she was getting at.

  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    So I loved my puppy at first sight, but I don't love all puppies at first sight.  Something about her spoke to me, Fi's puppy didn't.  Is that weird?

    I also do think you can love at first meet, but in order to be healthy you also have to develop it. 

    image
  • edited December 2011
    When I first made eye contact with my BF I could hardly speak or think, my heart was pounding so hard, my palms got clammy, I got butterflies and I felt like a total fool!!! I certainly lusted after him, but I always felt more than that. Here we are 4 years later, and I still get those feelings sometimes when I look at him!!

    We met at school, and there were a lot of attractive and eligible bachelors around, but I didn't get this kind of reaction when I met, spoke to, or went out with them.

    So my thoughts on the matter are: love at first sight is a fairy tale myth, but there are other forces at play that set that relationship apart from all of the othes.
  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_love-first-sight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:97a7da2e-d2e4-4aea-b054-f0e1daaf5a20Post:580a0797-0102-46da-b73a-d600c78c4a0a">Re: love at first sight?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I loved my puppy at first sight, but I don't love all puppies at first sight.  Something about her spoke to me, Fi's puppy didn't.  Is that weird? I <strong>also do think you can love at first meet, but in order to be healthy you also have to develop it. 
    </strong>Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    Ehhh, if you dated online for awhile and just met after 'knowing' each other, I could believe that.

    BTW, I <em>love</em>that your FI(?) is in the mirror taking your picture.  It's cracking me up.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I don't believe in love at first sight. BF and I really had an instant connection but it certainly wasn't love. I don't think you can love a person without knowing them.


  • AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    No.

    puppies=/=people

    I totally understand with pets tho. Except with Thor. I just like him. Sometimes. Particularly when he's not screeching and saying 'fvck' every other word.
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you can get a feeling about someone when you first meet or even first see them, and once in awhile that turns into a genuine connection and love. I think that's what "love at first sight" is, but the phrase is a little misleading. When people ask if you believe in love at first sight, they might have a different definition than you do, which is why I think there's so much debate about this. :)
  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_love-first-sight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:97a7da2e-d2e4-4aea-b054-f0e1daaf5a20Post:884dbf7b-738d-4baf-8827-f385272c32b1">Re: love at first sight?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: love at first sight? : Ehhh, if you dated online for awhile and just met after 'knowing' each other, I could believe that. BTW, I love that your FI(?) is in the mirror taking your picture.  It's cracking me up.
    Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

    Actually its my dad, Fi hasn't seen the dress.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    I don't really believe in it. You can 'love' someone when  you first meet them, but I don't believe it's REALLY love. I don't get how you can love someone when you don't know a thing about them.  I do believe that you can get a feeling that you may be compatible with them, but I don't think you can actually love them.  With FI I really wanted to date him after I met him, but I didn't LOVE him yet.
    When you love someone, you can tell. When you're in love with someone, everyone else can tell.
    image
  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    As far as romantic relationships, love is such a complex thing that consists of actually knowing the person and loving them for who they are and how they make you feel.  So basically, how could you love someone you've never spoken to?

    I do believe that you can feel strong attraction and chemistry at first sight/meeting that you can sense that there's a possibility you could love this person.  But no, I don't believe that you can acutally be in love at first sight.
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    There's chemistry/connection, and there's attraction, and there's a feeling of affection, all of which are possible at first sight.  With your child, I think it's totally different - there's familial love, which is instinctual and obligatory, and then there's romantic love.  I don't believe you can (or should) feel romantic love at first sight.  It gives someone else an opportunity to hurt you who you don't know at all.  Love is a lot deeper than that, and romantic love needs time to build a foundation. But can you feel chemistry and immediate affection upon first meeting eyes?  Sure, but I don't think that's real love.  That comes later, with mutual understanding and acceptance.

    image

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  • edited December 2011
    Lust, yes.  Love, no.  It's sorta like when you see someone who's really hot and you're like WOW, that person is REALLY hot.  Then they open their mouth and you realize that even if you were single, and you couldn't be PAID ENOUGH to touch that with a 10-foot pole.  You couldn't possibly know that at first sight.

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  • PolkaDotBellaPolkaDotBella member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Lust at first sight- absolutely
    connection at first sight- absolutely
    love as  romantic love at first sight- no
    love for an object/pet/baby- absolutely

    Definitely a difference between romantic love and other types of love. I loved my first dog at first sight... I fall in love with shoes and purses at first sight. I did not fall in love with my bf at first sight. Did I lust after him when I first saw him... absolutely. Did I feel an immediate connection the first time we talk... definitely.

    I feel that lust and a connection are possible immediately, but not true romantic love. To me, romantic love grows out of knowing someone and you can't know them in that sense upon first meeting them.

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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm a hard-core skeptic/cynic, and a scientist by training, so I should be the first person to say that, no, there's no such thing as love at first sight and it's just powerful chemistry blah blah blah...

    Except that I've experienced it before.  Not with FI (that one took the better part of year to develop) but with a guy I dated in high school.  I can't explain it, but I fell in love with him (yes, love) the first time I saw him.  I've known him ever since (we're close friends) and a part of me (granted: a small part) is still in love with him.
  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I don't believe in love at first sight. I think you can form a strong attraction upon first meeting, but I don't consider that love.

    I actually turned FI down the first time he asked me out. Look how that turned out!
  • DanielleZZDanielleZZ member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I guess I'm going to go alone and say yes I believe in it.  The first time I saw FI I knew that this was it and he says the same thing. Sure it was part lust but it was much more than that, an instant connection, something I've never felt with anyone else, and I wouldn't know what else to call it besides love.  7 years later that love has matured and changed many times and now I am in love with him (which I think is something different).

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  • edited December 2011
    To me, love is built off of trust.  So, I don't believe in love at first sight.


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