I am sad/angry (a bit long)

sparkles88

I found out we have to give Fuzz away. I discovered this only hours after I thought we were going to be able to keep him. Roommate A said she was fine if we got another cat. Roommate B said it was fine as long as we ironed out some details with the pet deposit. B wrote this in a note that we saw when we got home on Monday evening. She communicates mostly by notes and rarely talks to us. BF waited until she got home from work on Monday to talk to her about it. I was already asleep since I had to get up early. BF said she agreed with everything he said and that it all seemed good.

Yesterday roommate A texted me to say B was very upset about the whole situation. B was not pleased about any of it, even though she said everything was fine when BF confronted her about it. B wants Fuzz gone, although she did not maturely express that when BF asked if the situation was okay. Insteady she lied to him and counted on A to tell us. Of course this put A in the middle of everything.

On the plus side, Fuzz already has 4 inquiries from the ad I posted for him

Anyone else have people in their lives that don't say what they really mean?

MLekathLEEN

What a $%^$#@! That is so frustrating and I'm sorry they let you have your hopes on keeping him.

That would really aggravate me that B couldn't have said anything to your faces. Could you talk to her before you let Fuzz go to a new home? It probably won't do anything other than give you claification on why their such sissys and couldn't say it to ur face.

PaigeMcC

I always say what I mean.  You're bullshitting with people if you don't.  I'm sorry that room mate B is an arse about it.  Hope Fuzz finds a new home quick!

PaigeMcC

Andplusalso: If you lived near me, I'd take Fuzz to our house and you could visit all the time.  

Lame room mate.

marleylikeair

I'm a scaredy-cat, so sometimes I have been known to not say exactly what I'm thinking. BUT. I don't make it anyone else's damn problem. If I didn't say it, I don't expect them to know or make arrangements around it later.

I used to have this horrible roommate who was all smiley and nice for the first 8 months I lived at the place, then had an absolute cow about things I was doing that drove her crazy. Really stupid, nitpicky stuff, too.

I'm so sorry about Fuzz! Hopefully, if she really is dead-set against it, he'll find an awesome home.

[Deleted User]

I had this exact same situation with a roommate about 3 years ago. BF brought a puppy over for a sleepover once (his friend's dog had a litter). We of course fell in love and thought about keeping the dog. I talked with my roommate because I knew she had allergies and wanted to make sure it would be ok for the 3 months we had left on our lease before purchasing my own place. She had rolled around with the puppy and played all night - no reaction. The next day she said it would be fine, whatever we decided. BF and I talked it over to decide if we were really ready for a dog. 3rd day, we decided yes...and then my roommate changed her mind. WHAT?? Changed you're mind while i've been falling in love with him for 3 days? So not fair. Needless to say, we didn't get to keep the dog. At the time I was really hurt...but now I have a wonderful dog and cat...so everything worked out in the end.

So sorry Sparkles...that situation is no bueno!

bethsmiles

Thats so lame. I'm really bitchy when it comes to situations like this so I would probably say that Fuzz is staying because everyone said Fuzz could stay and if people had a problem with it they should've said something in the beginning.

People like that really piss me off and they never change because people always let them get away with behavior like that.

sparkles88

That's a very nice option, Paige. I'm sure the pugs would love to have a friend, too. He really is such a nice kitty.

Kathleen, I don't think B wants Fuzz at all. We already told her we were trying to find Fuzz a home, and she said it was for the best. B is not really an animal person. She briefly had a dog, but did not think that decision though. B had to give the dog away because she wasn't able to provide it with the attention it deserved. This all happened before we moved in.

Marley, That is exactly what's happening with us! It's very random, nitpicky stuff, IMO. She also tends to be a bit hypocritical. We're already taking Fuzz to meet a potential owner tonight. I hope everything works out.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_am-sadangry-bit-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:98c8f083-f788-4f45-9c8b-34186713c613Post:bae007f1-16ca-4635-bbb4-eaf99d66d640">Re: I am sad/angry (a bit long)</a>:
[QUOTE]That's a very nice option, Paige. I'm sure the pugs would love to have a friend, too. He really is such a nice kitty. Kathleen, I don't think B wants Fuzz at all. We already told her we were trying to find Fuzz a home, and she said it was for the best. B is not really an animal person. She briefly had a dog, but did not think that decision though. B had to give the dog away because she wasn't able to provide it with the attention it deserved. This all happened before we moved in. <strong>Marley, That is exactly what's happening with us! It's very random, nitpicky stuff, IMO. She also tends to be a bit hypocritical. </strong>We're already taking Fuzz to meet a potential owner tonight. I hope everything works out.
Posted by sparkles88[/QUOTE]

Gah. Want to swap horror stories? Mine once told me a fifteen-minute shower was too long. I was wasting hot water and it was bad for the environment.

heyimbren

Guys, please don't get me started on crazy roommates. First year uni had too much experience for my one little life.

Elle1036

Aw, sorry Sparkles.  I echo Paige.  If I lived closeby, I would take Fuzz for you.

calindi

Ugh, I HATE passive aggressive roommates!!!  I had one so bad that I had to move out 4 weeks before the end of our lease since I couldn't handle her - even though she was the only one leaving!  I stayed with BF's cousin (who is 60 years old and lives with his partner in a gorgeous townhouse - they handed me a key and assigned me a bedroom.  Thank goodness!).

I also had two roommates in college who wouldn't speak to me, just left notes on my computer.  Like, we'd all be in the room, and then I'd leave to go to the bathroom or something, and come back to a note on my computer.  Yeah, THAT passive aggressive!

Sorry you have to deal with that.  Sorry you have to give up the kitty.  Hang in there!!!

sparkles88

I'm sure it will all be okay in the end. Quite a few people have replied with interest in taking Fuzz. It just bothers me to know I'm willing to take care of him and give the kind of commitment it takes, but he has to go to someone else. I also feel bad for A, because she's very nice, and the last thing she needed was to be the messenger of bad news.

I wish I could do what you said, Beth, but I feel like this is probably not the appropriate situation for it. I don't think anything bad would happen to Fuzz if I kept him, but he is obviously not welcome. I'm sure once B is out in the "real world" someone will eventually put her in her place.

cu97tiger

I had the opposite problem once... I told people exactly how I felt and they didn't give a damn.

I worked for a professional soccer team. There were about seven of us in the office, which included a finished section and then a warehouse-like section. Occasionally we'd find mice in the warehouse section. The other woman in the office LOVED furry creatures. She decided one day that we needed a cat to fend off the mice (though we'd never actually seen one in the office part).

I told her that unfortunately we couldn't because I'm deathly allergic. She went and talked to our boss (a Grade A d-bag, by the way) who told her to go ahead and get a cat. When I found this out, I went into his office and explained how allergic I am to cats. He declined to care.

She comes back with a cat which of course LOVED my desk most of all. Now, I like cats, but I'm allergic. And a professional office is NO PLACE FOR A CAT!!!

Anyway, I ended up having to stay home for four days because I was so sick. They still kept that darn cat for three more weeks before they decided maybe it wasn't the best idea. I still kind of hate them all for that. 

PS Magically my allergies have severely diminished. I'm not allergic to mine and BFs dogs at all, and I can be around cats now without itching my eyes out.

OP - so sorry about your lame roommate, but hopefully you can at least talk to her and see if she'll be straight up with you.

jeanacorina

I hate roommates. Except my husband. But sometimes I hate the roommate-type things he does.

Sorry, hon.

peekaboo2011

Roommates are dumb.  I had a few once who refused to hang out with me because of my food allergy.  Seriously?  You're that picky that I'm allergic to bread?

Honestly, and I'm kind of a witch at certain times, but just to spite her for refusing to tell you how she feels, I'd keep the cat just to piss her off.  If she had a problem, she never should have agreed to it.  But, like I said, I'm a witch.

jeanacorina

Just to speak up- I would never ever ever keep an animal that wasn't welcome in the home. I know your roommate would probably never do anything to actually hurt Fuzz, but he is so much better off and safer in a home where EVERYONE wants him.

You just never know... people can be crazy. I'm glad you're not taking the chance.

sparkles88

Fuzz went to a good home! A gay couple came to adopt him tonight! They were so nice. I'm still kind of sad, but it's good to know he'll be in a wonderful home.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_am-sadangry-bit-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:98c8f083-f788-4f45-9c8b-34186713c613Post:7dde2dee-2e3f-44a2-9b21-fb8c73759400">Re: I am sad/angry (a bit long)</a>:
[QUOTE]Fuzz went to a good home! A gay couple came to adopt him tonight! They were so nice. I'm still kind of sad, but it's good to know he'll be in a wonderful home.
Posted by sparkles88[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh, sparkles, yay!! I'm so glad he's going to a good home!</div><div>
</div><div>I also wanted to second what Jeana said. I was the one who wanted to get a kitty, but I knew BF would have to be fully on board before we could go ahead with it. I wanted Marlon (our kitty-cat!) to feel welcome and wanted by both of us. I really think animals can tell when humans like them and are willing to take care of them; and when they don't/aren't. He's great with him, BTW. He likes to call him stupid names, though, involving poop. (I swear, dudes never outgrow potty humor.)</div><div>
</div>

peekaboo2011

Glad he's going to a good home!  That's really exciting.  

I know it's best when everyone wants the pet.  And I expressed what I was trying to say incorrectly, so I'm going to try again.  I don't do well with passive-aggressive.  Especially when it's all the time.  My reaction to the situation would probably have been to ultimately given the Fuzz away, however, I would not have done it immediately.  I tend to be of the philosophy "If you have a problem, talk to me."  And before giving away a Fuzz that I loved, I would have wanted the person with the problem to tell me herself, even if it was through a note, rather than lying to my BF, and then going behind my back to tell my other roommate and expect her to share the news.  That's not fair to you or Fuzz.  But, as I said before, this doesn't work for everyone...I just tend to be a little...catty at times, I suppose is a good way to say it.

The good news is, he has a good home.