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You can't make this shiit up

So tomorrow is FI's company's annual Halloween party. The theme is Bootlegger's Ball, and I'm going as a redneck shotgun bride (FI is going as a shotgun wedding preacher). So I've been looking for a simple way to fashion a relatively realistic pregant belly.

And you guys, it is disturbing the number of how-to articles out there on faking a pregnancy! Here are just a few gems:

-Adopt other "pregnant activities" such as food cravings (try pickles and ice cream with hot salsa on top) and nesting (clean everything, all the time). If you want, get mood swings. Those can be pretty fun!

-Try faking morning sickness by discreetly making fake puke and then "vomit" in the toilet while making gagging noises.

-Adopt a newborn baby after your "pregnancy" to make the story realistic.


Seriously, what is wrong with people?!
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Re: You can't make this shiit up

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    edited December 2011

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    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

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    edited December 2011

    Ummm, Wow!  There are some really eff'ed up people in this world! 

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    polkadot111polkadot111 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh my goodness! Wish this was a joke!
    Used to be bourgehm. +1,500 posts. Silly knot
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    edited December 2011
    And this is why we see those gruesome stories about crazy women kidnapping pregnant women wanting to take their babies from them.

    What. The. Hell. This is just as bad as those pro-anorexia websites!

    image 170 Invited (holy crap!)

    image 98 are coming to party!

    image 29 have other plans

    image 43 need to respond!

    Daisypath Wedding tickers

    "Bside - You're just too sexy for your own good" ~ leia1979

    "True love = I still love you even though we hang out all the time and most other people would be tired of each other already" ~ flygirlmeg
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    edited December 2011
    It's bad when I have no words...
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    lennonkdclennonkdc member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-this-shiit-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:99d02925-bc2f-4ee0-a56c-5c1cef7e1204Post:f9674c50-6787-408c-bf25-611054046c4b">Re: You can't make this shiit up</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's bad when I have no words...
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>ditto

    </div>



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    ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I am with Shoes and Lennon, I am speechless... 
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    edited December 2011
    Da fuq Seriously? People are so messed up! I heard its rumored that Beyonce is faking her pregnancy....
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-this-shiit-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:99d02925-bc2f-4ee0-a56c-5c1cef7e1204Post:72e9c41a-ed69-44e8-adeb-fcb187617534">Re: You can't make this shiit up</a>:
    [QUOTE]Da fuq Seriously? People are so messed up! I heard <strong>its rumored that Beyonce is faking her pregnancy....
    </strong>Posted by thelamarrs[/QUOTE]

    I heard this too! She went on a talk show and her belly looked like it deflated what she sat down and it was moving really awkwardly.

    image 170 Invited (holy crap!)

    image 98 are coming to party!

    image 29 have other plans

    image 43 need to respond!

    Daisypath Wedding tickers

    "Bside - You're just too sexy for your own good" ~ leia1979

    "True love = I still love you even though we hang out all the time and most other people would be tired of each other already" ~ flygirlmeg
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-this-shiit-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:99d02925-bc2f-4ee0-a56c-5c1cef7e1204Post:ffad8293-6ef8-4a30-b72b-891ddbdc05bd">Re: You can't make this shiit up</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: You can't make this shiit up : I heard this too! She went on a talk show and her belly looked like it deflated what she sat down and it was moving really awkwardly.
    Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]



    I hope its not true :( I like Beyonce a lot and that would be a serious reputation ruiner..
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    ElleB87ElleB87 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OMFG...since when are mood swings fun????  Am I the only one who doesn't enjoy going from peachy keen to raging monster in 3.2 seconds??
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    becunning2becunning2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    *blink, blink*

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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-this-shiit-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:99d02925-bc2f-4ee0-a56c-5c1cef7e1204Post:fddd659b-1a89-4c41-80ff-6fbfa662b924">Re: You can't make this shiit up</a>:
    [QUOTE]OMFG...since when are mood swings fun????  Am I the only one who doesn't enjoy going from peachy keen to raging monster in 3.2 seconds??
    Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

    Right?? Well, apparently, they are fun when you fake them... Yay for screwing with people who love and trust you!

    Ugh.
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    SKP82SKP82 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    That is fvcked up.  Seriously.
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-this-shiit-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:99d02925-bc2f-4ee0-a56c-5c1cef7e1204Post:25c56a36-8f77-48ce-8895-420d711632c9">Re: You can't make this shiit up</a>:
    [QUOTE]And this is why we see those gruesome stories about crazy women kidnapping pregnant women wanting to take their babies from them. What. The. Hell. <strong>This is just as bad as those pro-anorexia websites!</strong>
    Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]

    Ugh.  I don't think there's anything as bad as the pro-ana "movement".

    But yeah, this is pretty twisted.
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    leia1979leia1979 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Well, the writers of "Glee" had to get their info somewhere!
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    edited December 2011
    wow that is awful..............

    Anniversary

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    edited December 2011
    ..........hmmmmmkay. You gotta hand it to anyone willing to carry around fake puke and pee, that's commitment to the part.
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    sparkles88sparkles88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-this-shiit-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:99d02925-bc2f-4ee0-a56c-5c1cef7e1204Post:336ff043-be8f-48d6-842f-a8cefa19b5af">Re: You can't make this shiit up</a>:
    [QUOTE]..........hmmmmmkay. You gotta hand it to anyone willing to carry around fake puke and pee, that's commitment to the part.
    Posted by Lil B Mama[/QUOTE]

    I suspect there wouldn't be a need for <strong>fake</strong> puke if someone was forcing down pickles, ice cream, and salsa at the same time... :\

    This whole thing is bizarre.
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    edited December 2011
    I've been meaning to tell you something... 



    As far as Beyonce, I don't think that she is faking.  I do think that she has added some padding to look better.  There is this awkward stage where normal clothes look off and maternity clothes don't quite fit right.  If I was going on national television, I would want to look my best and would have no problem padding my belly a little. 
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    paintgirlpaintgirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    A lady in northern Kentucky once did these things, then found a real pregnant lady in the next town using the Babies R Us online registry. She pretended someone had sent a gift to her by mistake, called the real preggo, and said she'd bring the gift by her house (so got the real preggo's address). A few weeks later, she claimed the same thing - gift sent to her by mistake. This time she told the preggo to come by her house and pick it up - where she attacked the preggo and tried to steal the baby. (The real preggo got away and the baby was fine.)

    Oh - and Babies R Us has since changed its registry policies. Gee you think?

    Now THAT you can't make up!
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    DanieKADanieKA member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I watch a shiit ton of crime shows (and goofy court shows), and you'd be surprised at the number of women who fake pregnancies. It's more BSC than pre-planning your wedding!!! I just don't know why you would ever do that! Why?!?! WHY!?!? And I'm not sure I can chalk it ALL up to a mental health condition. But I would say the vast majority (that aren't for a performance art piece) are from something off in the wiring. 
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    KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    While this is creepy it is in no way as bad as pro ana sites IMO.  Some people want to fake it when they are adopting, its weird but there isn't much harm.  No one who is pro ana is not harming themselves. 
    image
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-this-shiit-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:99d02925-bc2f-4ee0-a56c-5c1cef7e1204Post:e3c0c6d1-9a51-49be-bf28-08d9d84ea1dd">Re: You can't make this shiit up</a>:
    [QUOTE]I watch a shiit ton of crime shows (and goofy court shows), and you'd be surprised at the number of<strong> women who fake pregnancies</strong>. It's more BSC than pre-planning your wedding!!! I just don't know why you would ever do that! Why?!?! WHY!?!? And I'm not sure I can chalk it ALL up to a mental health condition. But I would say the vast majority (that aren't for a performance art piece) are from something off in the wiring. 
    Posted by DanieKA[/QUOTE]

    I have come across a few crazies like this. Some girls did it for attention in high school and one was trying to keep a man around. It's like the ultimate form of BSC.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_cant-this-shiit-up?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:99d02925-bc2f-4ee0-a56c-5c1cef7e1204Post:47e6c985-e397-4392-bfff-c7d423345ed2">Re: You can't make this shiit up</a>:
    [QUOTE]A lady in northern Kentucky once did these things, then found a real pregnant lady in the next town using the Babies R Us online registry. She pretended someone had sent a gift to her by mistake, called the real preggo, and said she'd bring the gift by her house (so got the real preggo's address). A few weeks later, she claimed the same thing - gift sent to her by mistake. This time she told the preggo to come by her house and pick it up - where she attacked the preggo and tried to steal the baby. (The real preggo got away and the baby was fine.) Oh - and Babies R Us has since changed its registry policies. Gee you think? Now THAT you can't make up!
    Posted by paintgirl[/QUOTE]

    That is just messed up....
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    kellyt89kellyt89 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sort of in love with your Halloween costume idea Anne. That sounds hysterical!

    Also, there are some reeeeally messed up people out there. Wasn't there an episode of Private Pratice where some woman stole one of the character's baby?
    And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain... Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
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