Thoughts on this...

lennonkdc

So, my landlady just posted an update on facebook about her nephew who surprised his GF with a beach side wedding on their vacation to Honduras. I'm sketchy on details, but I don't think that their families were present, I think it was truly a "surprise we're getting married today" situation. 

Many people thought this was romantic. WTF? I think this is CRAZY and I would leave BF and his BSC a$$ at the alter if he tried to spring a wedding on me. BSC should not have a double standard. 

What do you ladies think? 

lunarsongbird

I would be TERRIBLY disappointed if Andrew surprised me and my parents weren't present. However- if we'd been planning on eloping and he did this...then I would be pretty stoked.

tuarceatha

hahaha

This reminds me of that show they did---with the flash mob type wedding?

I would be sooooooo disappointed if FI sprung a wedding on me. Luckily I know he is NOT the type of man to do this type of thing.

AudgiePodge

I woulda done it.

I'm not close with my family.

AnneR15

I agree with you on the double standard thing. By surprising her, he robbed her of the chance to plan their wedding together  - basically the same thing we tell other girls is really unfair to their SOs. If he knew she wouldn't care, then to each his own, but I would have been pretty pissed. Especially since no family was there.

elannis

I would have done it and I would have loved the thought and effort he put into it, but at the same time I would have been disappointed that I wasn't involved in any planning and having that engaged time together.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_thoughts-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9a51050f-e17d-40b1-b4c1-c90804934452Post:0981257c-7058-4f9b-8f6a-55e9ef8a53a8">Re: Thoughts on this...</a>:
[QUOTE]hahaha <strong>This reminds me of that show they did---with the flash mob type wedding? </strong>I would be sooooooo disappointed if FI sprung a wedding on me. Luckily I know he is NOT the type of man to do this type of thing.
Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

That is what I was going to say.

I would be terribly disappointed if my family and close friends weren't there. To me a wedding is not just about the couple, but about joining families as well. I wouldn't really feel like i had a wedding if those closest to me weren't there to share in the experience. It might work for some couples, but certainly not for me! 

QuiltingNurse

This would be a bit of a relief to me. I hate the idea of being the center of attention and having everyone just watching me. I think planning a wedding would be stressful and this would be a completely non stressful situation. In saying this, I know that would never happen to me which is a bit unfortunate. My family thinks weddings are too over done and they would love it if me or my sister eloped and they didn't have to worry about anything. BF would NEVER do that, his family is very much the type who thinks weddings have to be big and if Nana's 3rd cousin from England that he's never met isn't invited then it would be the end of the world and everyone would take offence to it. 

I would love to be surprised, I think it would be romantic and something really special between us, not about pleasing anyone else like his family would insist on. If we had never talked about getting married then I would not be happy with it, since we have discussed it I would be thrilled with this. My family would understand and my parents wouldn't be upset at all that they weren't there (as long as we took a lot of pictures so they could see it).

lennonkdc

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_thoughts-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9a51050f-e17d-40b1-b4c1-c90804934452Post:6595d583-5d3e-4978-bd8b-bfb4ce8d1c06">Re: Thoughts on this...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd love to get married on the beach with just me and FI ... But when I really think about it, I'm really looking forward to 1. buying a dress 2. celebrating with my family and friends and 3. just general wedding planning with FI. <strong> I'd be really upset that I missed out on having my say in my wedding day.   I don't think I'd be ready to say I do in that situation.  I'd just be so shocked and really hurt that my own feelings weren't considered.</strong>   Plus I feel like everyone I know would just assume I'm pregnant or something.  
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>I think this is the heart of what bugs me about this. I'm all for "to each there own", but even if they had talked about eloping and didn't care about a 'traditional' wedding, they fact that he just sprung it on her rubs me the wrong way. I know some ladies would love this (and I I don't know either the B or G so maye she is one of them). As for me, I would be upset that I didn't get to have any input on our day.</div>

leia1979

I think my response would be, "Oh hell no!"  But I also know H would never think to do something like that because I would not be happy. I think a wedding needs to be planned by both parties. Maybe not 50/50, but both people should at least know when and where it is.

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_thoughts-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9a51050f-e17d-40b1-b4c1-c90804934452Post:547d8edf-83da-424e-8b2b-3429441de6d1">Re: Thoughts on this...</a>:
[QUOTE]I woulda done it. I'm not close with my family.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]
This. I would prefer this sort of wedding.

Hazel_B

I think it depends on the couple. If they'd talked about getting married but just didn't want to plan a wedding and this wasn't truly a surprise I don't see the big deal. A vegas wedding would be similar, no?

Mind you, I wouldn't be okay with it personally.

jemmini6

I totally get the double standard thing.  Knowing nothing about the couple at all, if you told someone that the GF surprised her BF with a beach side wedding, everyone would think she's psycho.  But you tell the same people that the BF surprised his GF with a beach side wedding, and everyone thinks it's so thoughtful and romantic?

Part of me thinks that for either party to do something like this, they are either truly BSC, or have actually discussed marriage/weddings with their partner and knew that it would be something they liked.

Even so, if we discussed wanting a private beach side wedding, I'd want us both to plan a private beach side wedding.  But then again, I'm not big on surprises, but I guess someone else could be...

SKP82

You said he surprised his GF, so I'm assuming they weren't engaged yet?  I would be weirded out if I wasn't engaged and had a surprise wedding.

Peaseblossom55

If this is what we planned it would be ok, but I would not like to be surprised like that.  I would honestly want some family there my immediate family and his too.