**Peek**

Swazzle

I am going to try on dresses for the first time on Saturday, any tips for me?  

I'm really excited but kind of nervous. Is that weird?

One of the major reasons I'm going now is to help me make the decision on whether I should get a breast reduction before the wedding or not. I've obviously never worn a wedding dress so I want to see how I feel in one now -- as is -- to see if the surgery is something I need to do for myself this spring.  

peekaboo2011

It's completely normal to be excited and nervous at the same time.  I've had girls put dresses on and then FREAK the fvck out as soon as they see themselves.  It's hysterically funny.  But I never laughed.  Shame, really.  And then they'd be okay for a few more dresses, and I'd add a veil, and BOOM, freaking out again.

That being said, if you are comfortable with your body, then you WILL find a dress that works.  Seriously, you may need some alterations when your dress gets in, but you will absolutely have a dress that fits you beautifully.  One that even without straps will stay up.  

I had a bride once who wore like a 38 F or something ridiculous like that.  And on her first day in the salon, we found her dress.  It was that Marisa dress I was all batty about for Lyn.  737 is the style number.  I couldn't zip it, but I clipped it on her as best as I could, and it was between that dress and another one.  That day was a moment of sheer brilliance for me.  She took both dresses off, got dressed, and we put the dresses on mannequins.  Mom and sister were upset with the price of the Marisa dress, so they wanted her to get the other one.  She sat and stared at the two dresses, and then I took her into the other room to look at colors (she hadn't quite decided).  After we settled on colors, I took her back into the other room, and she looked at both of the dresses with the color swatches, and was like "That's the one."

There is a dress for every girl, no matter what size she is, no matter how big her boobs are.  You just have to love where you are.  If you aren't comfortable with where you are now, I recommend getting comfortable before you go shopping.

Swazzle

Sorry this got really, really long. CN at the bottom.  

Here's the thing... I hate my boobs a lot.  They're very disproportional to the rest of my body, I hate the attention they draw, I hate shopping for shirts, & dresses are almost impossible for me.  This is something I've struggled with for a really long time.  I met with a plastic surgeon back in 2004 but my insurance wouldn't cover the surgery & so that was that.  

Since getting engaged it's something I've been really considering.  I want to feel comfortable on a daily basis & especially on my wedding day.  I don't want to look back at pictures & hate the way I look because of my chest.  

On the other hand, can I live with it? Yes, I've lasted this long.  I also feel really guilty for possibly spending the money on the surgery when that money would be better spent on our wedding. 

So my thought process right now is that if I'm going to have the surgery it will need to be in February or March at the latest.  If that's the case I need to find a surgeon soon & have a consultation & see if my insurance will cover any of the surgery at all. I don't want to go through this whole process if I don't need to though.  So I'm thinking if I try some dresses & see how I feel in them & how I look -- boobs & all -- then maybe I will feel more comfortable with myself about not having the surgery. 

I hope all of that makes some sense. 

CN: I hate my boobs, I have for a really long time.  I don't want to spend $5000ish on the surgery when that money could be going to the wedding but I don't want to be uncomfortable on my wedding day & look back at my pictures & wish I had gotten the surgery. So I want to see how I look/feel before I decide what to do. 

peekaboo2011

Rachel, you are gorgeous.  Seriously.  

However, if you're really that uncomfortable, then you need to bite the bullet and do it.  Nothing anyone says is going to make you any more comfortable with who you are.  And that's the one thing I used to hate.  It was girls who walked through the door completely uncomfortable with who they were and what they looked like.  Nothing I put them in could change what they saw in the mirror.  Those appointments went horribly.

I don't think that you need to change how you look.  I think you're absolutely beautiful the way that you are.  I never thought that your boobs looked ginormous in pictures (and I've done some serious FB stalking).  I've always thought they looked normal and proportionate.  You're perfect the way that you are.

Swazzle

Aww thanks so much Peek, you just made my day  

Sometimes I do worry that "it's just me."  FI loves them (duh) & my friends tend to think I'm a little crazy.  

I know that I need to either change it or just really accept it as a part of me but for some reason I find that so hard to do.  

peekaboo2011

What size are you, if you don't mind me asking?

Swazzle

32F

peekaboo2011

It's not easy to accept in a world of where women are seen as "perfect" when they have C-cups and wear a size 2.  But, you have to remember that women come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  You're healthy.  You're beautiful.  You just have to figure out what you can live with.  If you're comfortable with where you are, then stay there.  If not, then change.  Talk it over with Sean again, see what he says.  Go talk to a surgeon and see what they say.  You don't have to go through with anything after a consult. 

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_peek-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9cc0c5ac-b83b-4240-bc9c-70e590565a7aPost:f2ee77e8-3c7c-4cda-b934-5d095a72ea5f">Re: **Peek**</a>:
[QUOTE]Rachel, you are gorgeous.  Seriously.  
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

<div>*siriusly.</div><div>
</div><div>Gah, how many times do I have to correct you people?</div><div>
</div><div>She's right, though, RDR.</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Peek, I have a random question.  When I was shopping for dresses, I tried on a really gorgeous Marisa that was a little over budget.  I looked for a picture of it online later, but I don't know the style number and couldn't find it anywhere.  Does this happen to sound familiar to you?  It's a strapless a-line, really simple, no beading, bling, or lace or anything, but it had layers of fabric that formed an upside-down V all the way down the front.  I would love to see it again, just because I thought it was really pretty, but I can't find it anywhere.</div>

lunarsongbird

I'd actually rather spend $5K on something that would make me comfortable every single day...then spending it on A single day.

I know you'll figure out what's right for you!

peekaboo2011

Elle, I KNOW that dress really well.  And the number is failing me for now.   Let me find it and I'll let you know.  With pictures

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_peek-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9cc0c5ac-b83b-4240-bc9c-70e590565a7aPost:e11c9049-fcba-4ea7-8dac-850d9a82ef50">Re: **Peek**</a>:
[QUOTE]Elle, I KNOW that dress really well.  And the number is failing me for now.   Let me find it and I'll let you know.  With pictures :)
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]
Sweet, thanks!

Swazzle

Thanks girls for your input/advice/words!! 

I just want to clarify a little, I don't walk around on a daily basis depressed about my body or anything like that.  It bothers me the most usually when I'm shopping (most often for dresses), getting dressed & something just doesn't look right because of 'the girls', & when I'm in a bathing suit.  I hate being ogled SO FREAKING MUCH. 

I've also been overly sensitive to them lately because I gained weight which I'm really working hard to fix so perhaps that will help?  I'm thinking back to summer 2010 when I was at my goal weight & I honestly don't remember being so miserable about them so maybe that's just what I need to do to get more comfortable in my skin.  

Lunar, you're totally right about that last thing you mentioned. It's not entirely about the money though.  I'm also kind of scared of the surgery (the surgery itself, healing, not being able to breast feed in the future, etc). 

jaycee7389

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_peek-19?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9cc0c5ac-b83b-4240-bc9c-70e590565a7aPost:a363286d-16ee-4ed6-b39f-758f196da13a">Re: **Peek**</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd actually rather spend $5K on something that would make me comfortable every single day...then spending it on A single day. I know you'll figure out what's right for you!
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

This! But it is ultimately up to you. If it helps any, my friend had a breast reduction and she seriously tells everyone who will listen how much better life is for her now. Her insurance did pay for it because it was hurting her back. I'm not sure why they turned you down, but if it is negatively impacting your physical health I can see them approving it.

Also, you are beautiful! You will look wonderful in any dress, regardless of what  you end up doing :)