Don't want to get involved

elannis

Deleted for privacy. Thanks for the advice, ladies!

Ollie08

If it were me, I would just suggest that she brings it up to him if she's that insecure. I would not want to get in the middle of that. If anything, you can give FI a subtle hint that he should tell his mom he appreciates her without telling him the two of you have been talking.

elannis

He does know that we email, and he knows what she's telling me because she tells him often that she feels he doesn't appreciate her. I just don't know if I should bring it up again and that she's telling me in all of her emails lately. I don't want him to start a conversation about it because I brought it up to him, I guess. If they want to talk about it, I don't want it to be because of something I said.

I feel like FI treats his mom like a queen already and tries his best to make sure she is happy, but maybe if he did something out of the norm like that, it might help things a bit.

lennonkdc

I would tell her to talk to FI and then stay out of it. I hate to say it but from what you've said FI's mom seems to have a tendency to be emotionally manipulative. I think that since FI has stood up to her, she might be moving on to you. I would try not to fall into her trap. 

csousa1

Stay out of the entire thing as best you can. I would definitely tell her to talk to her son about it if she feels this upset, but that there is nothing you can do in your position. The last thing you should do is try to be a therapist to either of them.

peekaboo2011

What Lennon said. 

Tell her you love her, but this is between her and FI, and you'd really rather not be stuck in the middle of their relationship problems.  It puts you in a bad spot because you care so much about both of them. 

elannis

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_dont-want-involved?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9f74a653-98f6-4ef7-a8a4-c0d943f2e82cPost:bd53ef42-22bd-444d-ab8e-e36d4d062eda">Re: Don't want to get involved</a>:
[QUOTE]I would tell her to talk to FI and then stay out of it. I hate to say it but from what you've said <strong>FI's mom seems to have a tendency to be emotionally manipulative. I think that since FI has stood up to her, she might be moving on to you.</strong> I would try not to fall into her trap. 
Posted by lennonkdc[/QUOTE]

Hmm, I hadn't thought of that, but it could definitely be a possibility. I'm not exactly a confrontational person, so I have a hard time standing up to people, but I've done it with her before when she hurt my feelings, so I can do it again if necessary.

I think I will take all of your advice and just tell her she needs to talk to him and then stay out of it. Thanks!!