Getting to know ME!

mreed1624 · April 2012

Hello ladies, I have responded to a couple post but figured I would go ahead and formally introduce myself… Screen Name: mreed1624 (wish I could change that) My real name is MikelynnAge: 24Significant Other's Age:26What You Do: Admin Assistant at a HR outsourcing company/ Portrait and Wedding Photographer on the sideWhat SO Does: Currently finishing up Grad school and interning (about to go full time) at Northwestern MutualState of Relationship: Serious, been living together for 5 yearsHow Long You've Been Together: 5 years, yes we moved in together after knowing each for a month. Were Crazy we know!

How You Met: Friends house party, really romantic. A highschool friend of mine wrestled with him at OU.Wedding Date (if you're engaged/married): September 29^th. No ring on the finger but we have started the planning, apparently we don’t like to do things in the traditional order. Real Babies: Not yet but super soon after the weddingFur Babies: 3, We have a pit bull, chow/shepherd mix and a bunny! They are our children and completely spoiled rotten.Loves: Photography, food, beer, wine, whiskey, crafting, and a good mystery show or movieHates: cottage cheesePet Peeves: People not closing their mouth when they eat, bad attitudes for no reason, repetitive noises (like someone tapping a pen, or the counter, or flicking their finger nails), and workout clothes drenched in sweat put into the dirty clothes.Hobbies/Activities: Photography and craftingFavorite Thing About Your SO: He has a sensitive side (I make fun of him but I love it) and his dedication to anything he applies himself to. Oh and how he makes our bed daily! I am not a bed maker…Least Favorite Thing About Your SO: Please see above statement regarding sweaty workout clothes.Describe Your Personality: Thoughtful, outgoing yet not much of a risk taker. Snark Level (1 [low snark] - 10 [high snark]): Probably somewhere in the middleI've Been On TK Since: January 2011How You Came to Be On TK: Helping a good friend with her wedding planningHow I like my potatoes: There is not a way I don’t love potatoes. Love PW potato recipes!Favorite book/author: Unfortunately with 2 jobs there isn’t much time for reading but when I can I am a total sucker for the teeny bopper books. Tell Us Something Interesting About Yourself: Last Friday I had to literally run for cover from the tornadoes here in Norman, OK! The weather here has always been something that excites/interest me but that was a little too close for comfort.

mreed1624 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:6d5eb1d3-f88e-4310-b406-4ec238d1c4db">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : <strong>It's my first and I'm having a boy, too!</strong> I'm 34 weeks, so 6 more to go, 41 days to be exact. <strong> ETA: I'm glad Jorja made the point about considering finances carefully BEFORE you start trying for a baby. And check your insurance, too,</strong> b/c the cost of prenatal care and labor and delivery vary WIDELY and it's important to plan for those expenses. And keep in mind that babies and young children often need a lot more medical care than adults, so figure that in. On the topic of inexpensive rings...I had to buy a couple bands b/c my e-ring is getting tight and I doubt I'll be able to keep wearing it much longer. I got a pretty nice looking eternity band with CZs off amazon for $15. You can spend more, of course, for something higher quality, but just to give you an idea. :)
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

How exciting! Have you anounced the name? My sisters is going to be a Jr, still not sure how I feel about it?

It is deffinately something we are/will be considering. Like I said, I cannot wait until May graduation whenever he gets the new full time paycheck (as well as insurance) rather than the internship paycheck. Working at a HR company we get great benefits so that will work out great whenever the time comes.

mreed1624 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:d2e18233-b318-43f6-a6e6-b1716281dfca">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]I used to think that more than 4 bridesmaids was over kill, but I'm going to have 6 or 7. Eeek! (3-4 are cousins, 1 is my FSIL, 1-2 are friends - we haven't officially picked our bridal party yet, though.)
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

I photographed a friends wedding and she had 8 BM, 3 jr BM, 4 "flower girls", and 2 babies dressed to match that had to be in the photos... On the guys side he had 11 groomsmen plus the ring bearer. It was a crap show and that day I vowed to NEVER do anything remotely similar to another photog, or myself.

thejucheidea · April 2012

... yeah, I still feel like this even after reading the entire thread:

All I read is 'we wanna get married asap because we want babies asap.'

travelerkris · April 2012

I totally understand you mreed --- I know most of NEY hates it, but we began planning our wedding before the "will you marry me" with-a-ring moment. I did personally consider us engaged because we were putting down deposits and had obvously agreed to marry each other, but until we had the ring and the story, we kept it only to our immediate famlies and best friends. We told our immediate families because we needed to ask them all to save the date, and couldn't book the venue without knowing they'd be available to be there.

We booked our venue in February and I got my ring and "will you marry me?" moment in Italy two weeks ago. That's when my FB status changed to engaged and everyone else found out. I've heard the "it isn't a real proposal if you know you're saying yes!" thing, but I think it's silly. It may more properly be called a ring-delivery moment, but it was beautiful and special and a surprise - the ring and the trip- not the proposal itself. And it was all awesome.

Good luck to you!

Swazzle · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:1bf3c011-c00d-482f-bcf4-c6875e06f6d0">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]I totally understand you mreed --- I know most of NEY hates it, but we began planning our wedding before the "will you marry me" with-a-ring moment. I did personally consider us engaged because we were putting down deposits and had obvously agreed to marry each other, but until we had the ring and the story, we kept it only to our immediate famlies and best friends. We told our immediate families because we needed to ask them all to save the date, and couldn't book the venue without knowing they'd be available to be there. We booked our venue in February and I got my ring and "will you marry me?" moment in Italy two weeks ago. That's when my FB status changed to engaged and everyone else found out. I've heard the "it isn't a real proposal if you know you're saying yes!" thing, but I think it's silly. It may more properly be called a ring-delivery moment, but it was beautiful and special and a surprise - the ring and the trip- not the proposal itself. And it was all awesome. Good luck to you!
Posted by travelerkris[/QUOTE]

<div>I pretty much disagree with all of this. </div><div>
</div><div>1) I would feel like an idiot saying "Hey Mom, are you free on May 4, 2013? Oh great, I'm getting married that day. No, I'm not engaged." See how ridiculous that sounds?</div><div>
2) Nobody has ever said you need a ring to get engaged. </div><div>
</div><div>3) Nobody said it's not a real proposal if you know you're saying yes either. FI & I talked about our future (including getting married) long before we got engaged. When he proposed to me it was extremely special even though we both knew what the answer would be. </div><div>
</div><div>4) I feel sorry for you that you think your proposal itself wasn't beautiful... But the ring was. </div>

mreed1624 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:1bf3c011-c00d-482f-bcf4-c6875e06f6d0">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I totally understand you mreed</strong> --- I know most of NEY hates it, but we began planning our wedding before the "will you marry me" with-a-ring moment. I did personally consider us engaged because we were putting down deposits and had obvously agreed to marry each other, but until we had the ring and the story, we kept it only to our immediate famlies and best friends. We told our immediate families because we needed to ask them all to save the date, and couldn't book the venue without knowing they'd be available to be there. We booked our venue in February and I got my ring and "will you marry me?" moment in Italy two weeks ago. That's when my FB status changed to engaged and everyone else found out. I've heard the "it isn't a real proposal if you know you're saying yes!" thing, but I think it's silly. It may more properly be called a ring-delivery moment, but it was beautiful and special and a surprise - the ring and the trip- not the proposal itself. And it was all awesome. Good luck to you!
Posted by travelerkris[/QUOTE]

Maybe its an Oklahoma thing...? lol Are you actually in OKC? We live in Norman!

thejucheidea · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:732c0c7a-4737-4bcb-bb81-a5db35d1303b">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : Maybe its an Oklahoma thing...? lol Are you actually in OKC? We live in Norman!
Posted by mreed1624[/QUOTE]

She's in Orange County, California?

Swazzle · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:3eb471f4-099a-4083-b720-4efdd7235006">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : She's in Orange County, California?
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

<div>DED.</div>

[Deleted User] · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:d9d491bc-3a4a-4194-a8e1-98bd1a2e2600">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : I pretty much disagree with all of this. 1) I would feel like an idiot saying "Hey Mom, are you free on May 4, 2013? Oh great, I'm getting married that day. No, I'm not engaged." See how ridiculous that sounds? 2) Nobody has ever said you need a ring to get engaged. 3) Nobody said it's not a real proposal if you know you're saying yes either. FI & I talked about our future (including getting married) long before we got engaged. When he proposed to me it was extremely special even though we both knew what the answer would be. <strong>4) I feel sorry for you that you think your proposal itself wasn't beautiful... But the ring was. </strong>
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

I think she meant the trip and ring-delivery moment was a surprise, not the fact that he was going to propose, and that it was still beautiful even though she knew he was going to propose and that they were already starting to get their plans going. maybe not the best choice of wording on her part, but I definitely understand what she's trying to convey.

Swazzle · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:baa62789-2363-4411-b10f-1ff871dd4042">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : I think she meant the trip and ring-delivery moment was a surprise, not the fact that he was going to propose, and that it was still beautiful even though she knew he was going to propose and that they were already starting to get their plans going. maybe not the best choice of wording on her part, but I definitely understand what she's trying to convey.
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

<div>Got it. That would make more sense. </div><div>
</div><div>And if that's the case, I retract my #4. </div>

[Deleted User] · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:d9d491bc-3a4a-4194-a8e1-98bd1a2e2600">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : I pretty much disagree with all of this. 1) I would feel like an idiot saying "Hey Mom, are you free on May 4, 2013? Oh great, I'm getting married that day. No, I'm not engaged." See how ridiculous that sounds? 2) Nobody has ever said you need a ring to get engaged. 3) Nobody said it's not a real proposal if you know you're saying yes either. FI & I talked about our future (including getting married) long before we got engaged. When he proposed to me it was extremely special even though we both knew what the answer would be. 4) I feel sorry for you that you think your proposal itself wasn't beautiful... But the ring was.
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

also...

1. before my H proposed, we started talking about possible dates, budget, etc. with our families. it was NOT ridiculous for him to call up his mom and say, "hey we're going to get married this summer... I know that it's a 12-hour trip for you guys to Oklahoma, so what do you all think about these possible dates?"... or for me to ask my parents, "hey we're thinking of these dates, do you have any conflicts with them?". our engagement was not a surprise to anyone. the proposal date was a surprise (to me), but we had already started talking with our pastor and close family members about date conflicts. we didn't want a long engagement (9 months or less) so we knew that we needed to go ahead and start the process of securing a date. we didn't have to put down deposits or anything, because our venue was our church. we just needed to give our pastor a head's up so we could make sure that there weren't any other events scheduled. super informal. it was not by any means considered weird or ridiculous. in fact, the MAJORITY of my friends did it this way. possibly it's a regional thing, I don't know.

2. she did not say that she needed a ring to be engaged. she said she was waiting until the proposal/"ring-moment" to announce it publicly. obviously her close friends and family already knew what was going on, and they support their decision. we also did it this way, as I previously mentioned. and obviously, my wedding and marriage was not invalid or "weird". most of my friends did it that way. again, possibly it's regional. I knew the tentative dates for most of my friends' weddings before the actual proposal. long engagements haven't been the norm in my circle.

3. I don't think she's disagreeing with you here; I think this is getting into semantics.

4. N/A, except to say that I think this was harsh.

relationships aren't black and white. sometimes there are grey areas, like desert said earlier. people are going to do things differently, and it sounds like it's working out for them. travelerkris's story (and the OP's) is pretty normal where I'm from.

ETA: I do not consider what I did to be pre-planning. we didn't purchase anything until after he proposed, but we did start doing research and start with figuring out a budget before he proposed.

mreed1624 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:3eb471f4-099a-4083-b720-4efdd7235006">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : She's in Orange County, California?
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

Weird... I could have sworn it said she was from OKC. My bad!

jaycee7389 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:1bf3c011-c00d-482f-bcf4-c6875e06f6d0">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]I totally understand you mreed --- I know most of NEY hates it, but we began planning our wedding before the "will you marry me" with-a-ring moment. I did personally consider us engaged because we were putting down deposits and had obvously agreed to marry each other, but until we had the ring and the story, we kept it only to our immediate famlies and best friends. We told our immediate families because we needed to ask them all to save the date, and couldn't book the venue without knowing they'd be available to be there. We booked our venue in February and I got my ring and "will you marry me?" moment in Italy two weeks ago. That's when my FB status changed to engaged and everyone else found out. I've heard the "it isn't a real proposal if you know you're saying yes!" thing, but I think it's silly. It may more properly be called a ring-delivery moment, but it was beautiful and special and a surprise - the ring and the trip- not the proposal itself. And it was all awesome. Good luck to you!
Posted by travelerkris[/QUOTE]

I really don't think this is weird at all. You both considered yourselves engaged, started planning, told your immediate family, and waited until there was a ring to tell everyone.

There is no rule that says you a) have to have a ring or b) have to tell everyone in the world right away. FI and I made the decision TOGETHER to get engaged, which included shopping for rings together and considering ourselves engaged before the ring was finished being made and on my finger. We didn't announce it until the ring was on my finger, and it was only 1 week, but it's still a similar situation.

travelerkris · April 2012

Thanks CocoBella - yes and thanks - I knew about several of my friends' wedding dates before the OFFICIAL will-you-marry-me moment. Maybe it is regional, but I saw it happen over and over again.

1.) It wasn't weird at all - the conversation went, "Boyfriend and I have decided to get married but are not announcing it to everyone until we have the ring. We're so excited! Are you free Dec. 15th, because we want to book our venue and we don't want to wait until the ring we're having made is finished." The conversation went the same with his parents. Everyone was excited for us and it was nice.

2.) We wanted to have the ring before anyone outside our immediate family knew we'd decided to get married. I considered myself engaged, but not out in the open about it yet.

3.) I've seen a couple of times on here people saying essentially, if you've decided to get married, that the big proposal / ring-presentation isn't a "real proposal" or "you lost your chance to be proposed to." I just disagree with this. It's my opinion and everyone is welcome to theirs.

4.) My proposal was better than I could have imagined, and one of the nicest days of my entire life.

I'm sorry if I wasn't clear in my language choice- it was on a surprise trip to Italy, and I cried in joy when he surprised me with it.

mreed - I live in England but am getting married in the OC, where I'm originally from. My family is there, and one of the reasons we told our families in Feb. was so they could plan to take time off/save to travel across the world. Best of luck to you!

Swazzle · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:08cdbeae-a4f9-4c88-99a5-1e0f1d742d67">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : also... 1. before my H proposed, we started talking about possible dates, budget, etc. with our families. it was NOT ridiculous for him to call up his mom and say, "hey we're going to get married this summer... I know that it's a 12-hour trip for you guys to Oklahoma, so what do you all think about these possible dates?"... or for me to ask my parents, "hey we're thinking of these dates, do you have any conflicts with them?". our engagement was not a surprise to anyone. the proposal date was a surprise (to me), but we had already started talking with our pastor and close family members about date conflicts. we didn't want a long engagement (9 months or less) so we knew that we needed to go ahead and start the process of securing a date. we didn't have to put down deposits or anything, because our venue was our church. we just needed to give our pastor a head's up so we could make sure that there weren't any other events scheduled. super informal. it was not by any means considered weird or ridiculous. in fact, the MAJORITY of my friends did it this way. possibly it's a regional thing, I don't know. 2. she did not say that she needed a ring to be engaged. she said she was waiting until the proposal/"ring-moment" to announce it publicly. obviously her close friends and family already knew what was going on, and they support their decision. we also did it this way, as I previously mentioned. and obviously, my wedding and marriage was not invalid or "weird". most of my friends did it that way. again, possibly it's regional. I knew the tentative dates for most of my friends' weddings before the actual proposal. long engagements haven't been the norm in my circle. 3. I don't think she's disagreeing with you here; I think this is getting into semantics. 4. N/A, except to say that I think this was harsh. relationships aren't black and white. sometimes there are grey areas, like desert said earlier. people are going to do things differently, and it sounds like it's working out for them. travelerkris's story (and the OP's) is pretty normal where I'm from. ETA: I do not consider what I did to be pre-planning. we didn't purchase anything until after he proposed, but we did start doing research and start with figuring out a budget before he proposed.
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>1) I said<strong><u> I </u></strong>WOULD FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT -- as in <strong><u>ME </u></strong>-- as in how <strong><u>I WOULD FEEL</u></strong> -- by calling my family about possible wedding dates when I was not engaged. And I do think it sounds ridiculous to call someone and tell them you picked a date for your wedding but you're not engaged... Especially since choosing a wedding date = planning a wedding and when you plan a wedding before you're engaged that's PRE-PLANNING. </div><div>
</div><div>2) I never called anyone's wedding or marriage invalid or weird, so I don't know where you even got that from. </div><div>
</div><div>3) Thanks for clarifying. </div><div>
</div><div>4) We already discussed this. </div>

[Deleted User] · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:52446cd4-7cfc-4045-b32d-fa39ee625c70">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : 1) I said I WOULD FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT -- as in ME -- as in how I WOULD FEEL -- by calling my family about possible wedding dates when I was not engaged. And I do think it sounds ridiculous to call someone and tell them you picked a date for your wedding but you're not engaged... Especially since choosing a wedding date = planning a wedding and when you plan a wedding before you're engaged that's PRE-PLANNING. 2) I never called anyone's wedding or marriage invalid or weird, so I don't know where you even got that from. 3) Thanks for clarifying. 4) We already discussed this.
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

1. obviously she doesn't feel that way, nor do many others... so what's your point? if she wants to wait until her SO has a chance to find a creative way to present the ring and announce to the world that they are engaged, so what? my H requested that I not announce that we were engaged until he had a chance to plan a special moment to ask me. that was a big deal for him, and I wanted to honor him by doing so. people knew we were getting married in the summer, our closest friends and family knew that we were looking at what dates would work, and that my H wanted to have his moment to propose and make it special for both of us. lots of people do it that way. lots of people don't.

2. the basic attitude that you gave off in your previous post was that her timeline was weird and ridiculous. and I wasn't so much addressing you here, but more a general opinion. sorry for not clarifying. to MANY people, her timeline is not weird or ridiculous; it's NORMAL. there isn't just one normal. you know, "there's more than one way to put on a pair of pants."

I've NEVER heard of anyone IRL who had a 2 year engagement. even one year is considered a long engagement. in fact, I've only known one person who had a year long engagement, and that was only because her parents requested that they wait until after her college graduation to get married. but I'm not ripping you or anyone else up one side and down the other, just because you're doing it differently than what I consider normal. it's working for you. it's right for you, and that's wonderful. everyone should have a chance to do something this important in a way that fits their lifestyle and core values. I wouldn't want to force myself to have this little paradigm of how everyone should do everything the way I think they should, or else it's weird/ridiculous. I wouldn't want to force my paradigm on anyone else. it's not all black and white.

anyway, I'd like to stop arguing about this. I feel like it's dragging down the original thread.

OP, do you have a ring picked out yet? do you have any pics of it?

Swazzle · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:3c6309c8-2cdc-444d-8c0f-65e39a85f8e3">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : 1. obviously she doesn't feel that way, nor do many others... so what's your point? if she wants to wait until her SO has a chance to find a creative way to present the ring and announce to the world that they are engaged, so what? my H requested that I not announce that we were engaged until he had a chance to plan a special moment to ask me. that was a big deal for him, and I wanted to honor him by doing so. people knew we were getting married in the summer, our closest friends and family knew that we were looking at what dates would work, and that my H wanted to have his moment to propose and make it special for both of us. lots of people do it that way. lots of people don't. 2. the basic attitude that you gave off in your previous post was that her timeline was weird and ridiculous. and I wasn't so much addressing you here, but more a general opinion. sorry for not clarifying. to MANY people, her timeline is not weird or ridiculous; it's NORMAL. there isn't just one normal. you know, "there's more than one way to put on a pair of pants." I've NEVER heard of anyone IRL who had a 2 year engagement. even one year is considered a long engagement. in fact, I've only known one person who had a year long engagement, and that was only because her parents requested that they wait until after her college graduation to get married. but I'm not ripping you or anyone else up one side and down the other, just because you're doing it differently than what I consider normal. it's working for you. it's right for you, and that's wonderful. everyone should have a chance to do something this important in a way that fits their lifestyle and core values. I wouldn't want to force myself to have this little paradigm of how everyone should do everything the way I think they should, or else it's weird/ridiculous. I wouldn't want to force my paradigm on anyone else. it's not all black and white. anyway, I'd like to stop arguing about this. I feel like it's dragging down the original thread. OP, do you have a ring picked out yet? do you have any pics of it?
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

<div>I seriously don't know what I've said to offend you... But I'm sorry my OP got your panties in a bunch. </div><div>
</div><div>That's all I have to say about that. </div>

GoldenPenguin · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:3c6309c8-2cdc-444d-8c0f-65e39a85f8e3">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : 1. obviously she doesn't feel that way, nor do many others... so what's your point? if she wants to wait until her SO has a chance to find a creative way to present the ring and announce to the world that they are engaged, so what? my H requested that I not announce that we were engaged until he had a chance to plan a special moment to ask me. that was a big deal for him, and I wanted to honor him by doing so. people knew we were getting married in the summer, our closest friends and family knew that we were looking at what dates would work, and that my H wanted to have his moment to propose and make it special for both of us. lots of people do it that way. lots of people don't. 2. the basic attitude that you gave off in your previous post was that her timeline was weird and ridiculous. and I wasn't so much addressing you here, but more a general opinion. sorry for not clarifying. to MANY people, her timeline is not weird or ridiculous; it's NORMAL. there isn't just one normal. you know, "there's more than one way to put on a pair of pants."<strong> I've NEVER heard of anyone IRL who had a 2 year engagement. even one year is considered a long engagement.</strong> in fact, I've only known one person who had a year long engagement, and that was only because her parents requested that they wait until after her college graduation to get married. but I'm not ripping you or anyone else up one side and down the other, just because you're doing it differently than what I consider normal. it's working for you. it's right for you, and that's wonderful. everyone should have a chance to do something this important in a way that fits their lifestyle and core values. I wouldn't want to force myself to have this little paradigm of how everyone should do everything the way I think they should, or else it's weird/ridiculous. I wouldn't want to force my paradigm on anyone else. it's not all black and white. anyway, I'd like to stop arguing about this. I feel like it's dragging down the original thread. OP, do you have a ring picked out yet? do you have any pics of it?
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

There are people on here who have around 2-year engagements. A year-long engagement isn't considered "long." It's pretty standard.

Her timeline IS a little weird & ridiculous.

DanieKA · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:eb410e6e-bf50-4fcb-a4e8-277b196de85d">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : There are people on here who have around 2-year engagements. A year-long engagement isn't considered "long." It's pretty standard. Her timeline IS a little weird & ridiculous.
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed. There are lots of us on here that are having close to a 2 year engagement for various (non-BSC) reasons. Mine will be 19 months. We didn't plan it that way when we got engaged, Next sept/oct (2013) is just the most logical time for <em>US</em>. Just wanted to point that out. Off the top of my head I know Stina and Yaga are both having long engagements as well. </div><div>
</div><div>ETA: Yaga beat me to it w/the long engagement thing!</div>

peekaboo2011 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:eb410e6e-bf50-4fcb-a4e8-277b196de85d">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : There are people on here who have around 2-year engagements. A year-long engagement isn't considered "long." It's pretty standard. Her timeline IS a little weird & ridiculous.
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

I'm with RDR and Bri here.

Sorry OP, but I think you're being weird and ridiculous. BF and I have talked about maybe someday getting married and having babies in 3-5 years. He actually wanted to look at wedding venues this summer. I flat out told him to put his patience pants on and we would discuss venue and date and budget once there was a ring on my finger. Because that's what an engagement is for.

Hell, my mother asked me if she could look at venues. I told her no too.

[Deleted User] · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:da80d87d-6243-4231-a703-c7b8999320f7">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]Coco - all the things you did before you were engaged are things most people do after they are engaged. The OP's timeline is way weird and ridiculous. She's planning a wedding that's supposed to happen in 5 months, yet besides their immediate family and WP, they haven't announced it to anyone. I don't know about you, but finding out about someone's engagement via a wedding invitation only a few weeks prior to the event would make me think something weird is going on. Engagements aren't really things that are kept secret, KWIM? Also, I know everyone here loves to be judgey about long engagements, but let's stop beating that dead horse. <u><em><strong>In my family and group of friends</strong></em></u>, being engaged for less than a year or 18 months is weird, and people would be asking what the rush is (AKA are you getting married just to live together or for insurance benefits or something). In my case, and many others, there are other things going on in one's life that a long engagement is necessary/wanted/preferred. I don't see how that's judgeworthy, but a short engagement is not (at least on TK).
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

exactly. :)

mreed1624 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:da80d87d-6243-4231-a703-c7b8999320f7">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]Coco - all the things you did before you were engaged are things most people do after they are engaged. The OP's timeline is way weird and ridiculous. She's planning a wedding that's supposed to happen in 5 months, yet besides their immediate family and WP, they haven't announced it to anyone. <strong> I don't know about you, but finding out about someone's engagement via a wedding invitation only a few weeks prior to the event would make me think something weird is going on</strong>. Engagements aren't really things that are kept secret, KWIM? Also, I know everyone here loves to be judgey about long engagements, but let's stop beating that dead horse. In my family and group of friends, being engaged for less than a year or 18 months is weird, and people would be asking what the rush is (AKA are you getting married just to live together or for insurance benefits or something). In my case, and many others, there are other things going on in one's life that a long engagement is necessary/wanted/preferred. I don't see how that's judgeworthy, but a short engagement is not (at least on TK).
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

I think I said something way back in the post that a couple people took the wrong way. When I said we plan to be able to tell people within a month or so I meant from NOW not a month or so before the wedding. So if we can tell people in a month that will be 4.5 months before the wedding, if it takes 2 months before we feel comfortable telling the world it will be 3.5 months.

Considering that we have lived together for 5 years and I have my own job WITH insurance they should not think anything "weird" is going on. If they think were rushing because they suspect were prego then I guess they can stalk my FB page for a few months until they see there is no growing belly and come to the conclusion that we had a short engagement because we wanted to and were allowed to do that. Personally I think about the only reactions we are going to get from people in our lives is "Its about damn time" but who knows...

Earlier in our relationship whenever we discussed marriage we talked about a long engagement (a year) but people change their minds. I personally don't look down on either choice- as the couple getting married I think it is up to the two of you to come to that decision.

mreed1624 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:89b022dc-bbbd-4591-9dfc-f65237293afd">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : I'm with RDR and Bri here. <strong>Sorry OP, but I think you're being weird and ridiculous</strong>. BF and I have talked about maybe someday getting married and having babies in 3-5 years. He actually wanted to look at wedding venues this summer. I flat out told him to put his patience pants on and we would discuss venue and date and budget once there was a ring on my finger. Because that's what an engagement is for. Hell, my mother asked me if she could look at venues. I told her no too.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

I am fine with you thinking I am weird and ridiculous I guess... Just like most things in life - you cant make everyone happy. If everyone did things "the right way" how boring would life be?

I am not here to try to talk anyone into planning their future the way we are or to say it is the correct way. Like others have said this whole subject had been beaten, kicked, and smashed over and over. There is more to me than the way by BF and I have decided to start our future. Thank you to those that have given me props on handling this in a mature manner. I look forward to discussing other matters with you all! :)

mreed1624 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:bad82adb-4450-447c-be3c-7b583c0d9c63">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Getting to know ME! : exactly. :)
Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

Coco YOU are from Oklahoma, or so it says? Maybe were just all nuts down here...? lol

[Deleted User] · April 2012

I am from OK.

jaycee7389 · April 2012

I honestly don't think it really matters if the engagement is 5 months or 2 years. As long as it works for the couple and their immediate family, it should be good with everyone else.

mreed1624 · April 2012

My thoughts exactly Jaycee!

desertsun · April 2012

Hmmm. I have to say, I don't get the whole "people need to know about your wedding way in advance" thing.

I had a 7 month engagement and did not send STDs, and I have a lot of OOT family. I just felt like, if people can make it, great, and if they can't, it's not the end of the world.

I don't understand why other people would get really worked up about my wedding. If I'm not worked up about it, why should they be? It's not like we don't all care about each other, but that's just life. Sometimes you can be there and sometimes you can't. It doesn't have to be a BFD.

JMO.

elannis · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:8b59d5bf-0339-4bc6-8ddb-e923cc63a6e0">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmmm. I have to say, I don't get the whole "people need to know about your wedding way in advance" thing. I had a 7 month engagement and did not send STDs, and I have a lot of OOT family. I just felt like, if people can make it, great, and if they can't, it's not the end of the world. I don't understand why other people would get really worked up about my wedding. If I'm not worked up about it, why should they be? It's not like we don't all care about each other, but that's just life. Sometimes you can be there and sometimes you can't. It doesn't have to be a BFD. JMO.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_getting-to-know-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a1565435-7caa-4c87-8959-0d1cc76e93e6Post:ce780d6e-446a-4246-a090-73a831181179">Re: Getting to know ME!</a>:
[QUOTE]I honestly don't think it really matters if the engagement is 5 months or 2 years. As long as it works for the couple and their immediate family, it should be good with everyone else.
Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

I'm going to agree with both of these. I haven't been to many weddings, but before I had FB, I usually wouldn't find out about a wedding until I got the invitation, unless it was someone really close to me, and it was never an issue.

Getting to know ME!

Re: Getting to know ME!

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