kickboxing for ring?

niknik15

So my BF really wants to take a kickboxing class at the gym. He has already said that his tax return will be used to pay for the class and the rest of the return will be put away for saving up for a ring.

Yesterday, he said for valentines day he wants his gift to be for me to help him pay for this class, which he said would in turn help me get the ring a little sooner.

I have enough money so that I can completely pay for the class, but I was just planning on getting him something under $30. If I were to keep the money, it would go towards student loans, which I already have over half paid in less than a year.

I'm confused as to how much I should help him, or if I should help him at all. He has said that he wants to pay for the ring entirely by himself. And I am not in any rush to get the ring. It just feels like he is kind of teasing me with it by suggesting that as a Valentines day gift. I'm sure I am over thinking it, but what are your thoughts, opinions, and suggestions on this?

coastiegrl25

I don't like the fact that he is asking you to pay for something just so you can get the ring faster.  It just doesn't sit right with me that someone would do this.  If you are in no hurry then I say get him what you wanted originally, pay off your student loans, and he can figure out the rest.  If getting a ring was super important to him then he wouldn't be so adamant about going to the kick-boxing class. 

loves2shop4shoes

If you're not comfortable giving him a gift that expensive because you have other expenses of your own, tell him that.  You don't seem like you're in a rush to get a ring, and even if you were, why should you have to cover your BF's expenses in order to get it?

heyimbren

I agree with Coastie.

I guess to me, loans & debt /> a ring. You'll have to pay off the loans some time, and it makes sense to do it sooner rather than later. Once you two are married, your loans will essentially become his loans as well.

If you WANT to help him with the classes as your gift, then go for it. But I wouldn't do it just so you can get the ring faster. At that point you might as well just skip the middle step and get the ring yourself if that's what you really want.

motoLyn

I agree with the PP, I find it strange a bit manipulative that he said that if you help pay for his class you can get your ring faster.  At this point I cut that part out and give him some money to help pay for the class if you want to and how much your comfy with or don't pay at all.  As for the ring, that's whole other post. 

AudgiePodge

It wouldn't sit right with me if my BF was bribing me to buy things for him just to get a ring sooner. Vday or not.

niknik15

I guess I should also say that I don't mind helping pay for the ring. But like Bren said, I don't want the middle man part. I honestly don't even want to plan a wedding until after I am out of grad school, which will be at least two years from now.

I think that the three years until we would actually get married kind of caught him off gaurd and now he is trying to come up with ways to save up a little faster, but still stick with him paying for it all. He keeps saying that he wants to be engaged within a year, but its really not logical for him to be able to save that much.

niknik15

I'm with you guys though it doesn't sit well with me either. I'll probably go with what coastie said and just get him what I was originally planning and not help pay for the class. Thanks for helping me think through things.

luvdncn90

That's tough, I'm sorry. I would simply ask him what was more important to him, if you didn't feel comfortable helping him with the kickboxing class. Personally, I would chose to put that money towards student loans because having debt is never fun and plus the sooner you have the loans paid off the sooner you can start saving money for stuff like kickboxing classes.

Sorry, I don't think I was much help. haha

[Deleted User]

I agree with PP.  Talk to him about how what he said sounded like a bribe, he may have not meant it to sound that way at all.  Guys have a fairly one track mind and he may just be eager to get to the point to buy you a ring, but also wants to do his guy stuff (kickboxing.)

If you would rather pay off some more student loans, do it.  How awesome would it feel to have them completely paid off?