Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!

secretbride1988

So my bf told me today that he will marry me between Aug and Oct of this year.  He did not propose and I don't think he will soon because he is leaving for a month long business trip starting this weekend.
So what do I do?  How am I supposed to plan a wedding with no date?  And I know for sure the parents aren't chipping in ANYTHING until there is an actual date.  I mean that gives me like zero time! 
We are very impulsive...taking unplanned vacations within an hours notice but idk if I can be impulsive about this. 
How can I do this all?

SeaTea02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:84bde0b5-d1f6-44ec-9c18-f680faf3334a">Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]So my bf told me today that he will marry me between Aug and Oct of this year.  He did not propose and I don't think he will soon because he is leaving for a month long business trip starting this weekend. So what do I do? <strong>talk to him</strong> How am I supposed to plan a wedding with no date? <strong>you don't. </strong> And I know for sure the parents aren't chipping in ANYTHING until there is an actual date.  I mean that gives me like zero time!  We are very impulsive...taking unplanned vacations within an hours notice but idk if I can be impulsive about this.  How can I do this all?
Posted by secretbride1988[/QUOTE]

<div>And what do you mean he says you will get married at that time? What about what you want and what works for you?</div><div>
</div><div>If he proposes later in the year you will just get married a little later. There is no reason you HAVE to get married this year between August and October, is there? </div>

bethsmiles

What do you mean he told you he will marry you between August and October? That is something the two of you should have a discussion where both of you give your input.

Basically you just need to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. Explain that this isn't something that you want to do impulsively and you would like time to plan.

AmethystMSU

You're not engaged until you call yourselves engaged and you're planning your wedding. If you need months to plan your wedding (which we all need!!), then you wait until he proposes, then you start planning and you base your date on that.

If you're sure he's the one for you, then wait until you're sick of waiting. Just don't wait forever

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:84bde0b5-d1f6-44ec-9c18-f680faf3334a">Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]So my bf told me today that he will marry me between Aug and Oct of this year.  He did not propose and I don't think he will soon because he is leaving for a month long business trip starting this weekend. So what do I do?  How am I supposed to plan a wedding with no date?  And I know for sure the parents aren't chipping in ANYTHING until there is an actual date.  I mean that gives me like zero time!  We are very impulsive...taking unplanned vacations within an hours notice but idk if I can be impulsive about this.  How can I do this all?
Posted by secretbride1988[/QUOTE]

I am confused.  It seems like you are already planning your wedding.  Me thinks you need to get your story straight.  (See below.)

Posted January 1st
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/general-wedding-planning-topics_wedding-receptions_want-shock-everyoneideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:07a34bc8-a0b0-4c8f-b527-89148578f938Discussion:8af33d66-074d-472d-a4fa-aba715c60ad9Post:21413a06-1324-4a6f-8265-120b8e209535">I want to SHOCK EVERYONE...ideas?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am a very outdoorsy girl.  I like hunting, fishing, etc.  I run with boys and prefer their company to most women's.  BUT when it is time to dress up WATCH OUT.  I don't settle for anything less the PERFECT. SOOOO I want to really let that glam side out for my big day.  No one is expecting it.  Is there anything really unique I could do?  My bridesmaids dresses are already very chic. 
Posted by secretbride1988[/QUOTE]

Posted January 2nd
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/general-wedding-planning-topics_wedding-receptions_want-shock-everyoneideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:07a34bc8-a0b0-4c8f-b527-89148578f938Discussion:8af33d66-074d-472d-a4fa-aba715c60ad9Post:1ca29fd2-4b70-4eee-a50d-92d818167b64">Re: I want to SHOCK EVERYONE...ideas?</a>:
[QUOTE]My best friend is having an outdoorsy wedding (barn, mason jars, line dancing, EVERYTHING!).  when I heard all of her plans I cried.   I'm not going to steal her thunder and to be honest now that i think about it <strong>I have spent my whole life in a barn...why would I want that for my wedding?</strong> Found my dress...ha just as you described it should be lol ;)  its my dream dress!   I hope your wedding goes beautifully!
Posted by secretbride1988[/QUOTE]

Posted January 4th
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/general-wedding-planning-topics_wedding-drama_she-having-same-theme-should-change-mine?plckFindPostKey=Cat:336d8010-1fcd-4410-9356-c39e985527ecForum:8b0ecf40-d82c-4dd4-a709-f775574bfa5cDiscussion:97cdc0c6-0c0b-4fb3-8ae0-cecd77642e6cPost:fcc93a1a-9571-4319-bd34-46a125bf4f55">She is having the same theme as me! Should I change mine?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ever since I was a little girl <strong>I have dreamed of a country wedding.</strong>  I grew up on a farm and my mom and I always planned for it just to be gorgeous.  Simple yet elegant.  Everything that is truly me.  I was the typical farmers daughter... I could milk cows, do farm work but still manage to look great in beauty pagents.   I have only known a friend of mine for a couple of years and she is getting married around the same time as me.  Her wedding is JUST like mine.  Only she has no "country" background and I think she just likes the idea.  Whatever I'm not dissing her she is a wonderful person.  But I feel guilty that I want that theme too!  I don't want her to  feel  like I'm "stealing" her wedding when this idea has been building in my head for years. WHAT DO I DO?!!!!!  P.S. She is being a total bridezilla and wont talk to people at get togethers who are not in her wedding. Just wanted to add that but she is a WONDERFUL person :) 
Posted by secretbride1988[/QUOTE]

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:b05d7e47-8c49-4d77-bdf4-74e275f2aade">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]You're not engaged until you call yourselves engaged and you're planning your wedding.<strong> If you need months to plan your wedding (which we all need!!)</strong>, then you wait until he proposes, then you start planning and you base your date on that. If you're sure he's the one for you, <strong>then wait until you're sick of waiting. Just don't wait forever :)</strong>
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]

Um.  This is horrible advice. 

P.S. Not every one needs months to plan their wedding.  This is just garbage that the wedding industry tries to make you believe.  It is built up hype.  I know women who have planned gorgeous weddings in very little time.  Personally, we got engaged on April 4th and were married October 10th of the same year... and I really only spent 1 month planning.  

SeaTea02

Leave it to Mutley! 

Those post are full of crazies, peaches. 

heyimbren

But Mutley, don't you know? She's a secret bride. Shhhh.

OP, it's nice that he told you that, but he hasn't proposed so you aren't engaged yet. And the two of you would need to pick a date together in order to have one. There really isn't much planning you can do until you're engaged and you two have picked a date.

So, just continue on with your life and your relationship with where it is now until he does propose.

SeaTea02

And good lord, I just realized her screen name is secretbride. 

She also thinks she came up with the southern barn style wedding... heaven forbid two people have the same "theme". 

And what do you mean you found your dress? And brides maid dresses. Are you actually buying stuff? 

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:a47c1d87-a39c-4a09-b567-a65c8bf3a7cc">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]And good lord, I just realized her screen name is secretbride. 

<strong>She also thinks she came up with the southern barn style wedding... heaven forbid two people have the same "theme".</strong> 

And what do you mean you found your dress? And brides maid dresses. Are you actually buying stuff? 
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

Her screenname was just too easy to take a shot at.

I already had the only farm 'themed' wedding for the entire 21st Century.  It has been done.  No one else is having one.  Obv. 

AW:  <a href="http://mrsmutley.weebly.com/" rel="nofollow">http://mrsmutley.weebly.com/</a>

It must be sacrilege that someone else is using my red lanterns for her farm wedding too!  Invalid marriage, party of two. 

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:84bde0b5-d1f6-44ec-9c18-f680faf3334a">Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]So my bf told me today that he will marry me between Aug and Oct of this year.  He did not propose and I don't think he will soon because he is leaving for a month long business trip starting this weekend. So what do I do?  How am I supposed to plan a wedding with no date?  And I know for sure the parents aren't chipping in ANYTHING until there is an actual date.  I mean that gives me like zero time!  We are very impulsive...taking unplanned vacations within an hours notice but idk if I can be impulsive about this.  How can I do this all?
Posted by secretbride1988[/QUOTE]

<div>My first thought is perhaps that he just doesn't know how much time it takes most people to plan a wedding--or how much time most people choose to take. Maybe he thinks he can propose a month or two before and all will be well. Haha. Or maybe he's jumping the gun a little. Or maybe he's not the super romantic type and considers you two engaged even though there's been no formal proposal...?</div><div>
</div><div>My advice is to talk to him before he leaves. Calmly and lovingly let him know you're confused and not feeling able to plan the wedding without a date, and that you'd feel more comfortable if you knew you'd have x amount of months to plan it. And that it would make sense to set a date after you get engaged--so you know you have the time you need/want.</div><div>
</div><div>Now, as for planning a wedding before you and your SO agree you are engaged, please see our post near the top of this board's main page:</div><div>
</div><div><a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_welcome-not-engaged-yet" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_welcome-not-engaged-yet</a></div><div>
</div><div>That'll let you know the general viewpoint on this board on that topic.</div><div>
</div><div>HTH! Welcome aboard.</div>

hetshup

And I already had a fall wedding. So keep on looking.

But seriously, I don't understand why you are asking people you don't know if you are engaged. I suggest talking to your BF/FI/FBD (CBD?) if you are engaged.

CBD = current baby daddy. 

SeaTea02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:3c454a6e-82d6-478c-87cd-d1bf048737ea">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! : Her screenname was just too easy to take a shot at. I already had the only farm 'themed' wedding for the entire 21st Century.  It has been done.  No one else is having one.  Obv.  AW:  <a href="http://mrsmutley.weebly.com/" rel="nofollow">http://mrsmutley.weebly.com/</a> It must be sacrilege that someone else is using my red lanterns for her farm wedding too!  Invalid marriage, party of two. 
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

<div>But didn't you know she milks cows? Therefore the theme should be HERS!</div><div>
<div>Beautiful pictures! I love the 2nd dress. What was with the s/n change btw? You look like such a noob ;-)</div></div>

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:4d7a9cf1-ab49-4c0e-b0b5-9b80cda844a5">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! : But didn't you know she milks cows? Therefore the theme should be HERS! Beautiful pictures! I love the 2nd dress. What was with the s/n change btw? You look like such a noob ;-)
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

I just get milked.  Mwhahaha! 

Thanks! 

I got error messages whenever I tried to change my siggy or avatar due to the TK changes. 

SeaTea02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:9beaf6e0-399a-4473-bdfd-9b1632828b96">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! :<strong> I just get milked</strong>.  Mwhahaha!  Thanks!  I got error messages whenever I tried to change my siggy or avatar due to the TK changes. 
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

<div>I think you win. </div><div>
</div><div>Did they try to force you over to TN? I knew a few people who kept getting redirected over there when they could click certian things on the boards. </div>

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:33318e16-a946-4625-8516-981865cbb1e0">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! : Um.  This is horrible advice.  P.S. Not every one needs months to plan their wedding.  This is just garbage that the wedding industry tries to make you believe.  It is built up hype.  I know women who have planned gorgeous weddings in very little time.  Personally, we got engaged on April 4th and were married October 10th of the same year... and I really only spent 1 month planning.  
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]


How in the world is that horrible advice? OK sure, I was being too general when I said everyone needs months to plan. You're right, not everyone does. But based on OP's post, it sounds like she wants months to plan. She's entitled to spend months planning if she wants.

Why is it horrible advice to tell her to wait until she's sick of waiting and not to wait forever? Are you saying she should wait forever? Sometimes men string women along because they like the way the relationship is and don't want to make it official because then it's difficult to "get out of it." If a woman wants to get married and make the relationship legal, then by all means she should be able to.

Seriously, I'm curious as to which part of my post you think is horrible advice, and why.

loopy82

I see I haven't missed much.

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:100d79c4-7618-4952-bcc9-34dea7d0c9da">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]Why is it horrible advice to tell her to wait until she's sick of waiting and not to wait forever? Are you saying she should wait forever? Sometimes men string women along because they like the way the relationship is and don't want to make it official because then it's difficult to "get out of it." If a woman wants to get married and make the relationship legal, then by all means she should be able to. Seriously, I'm curious as to which part of my post you think is horrible advice, and why.
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]

Your advice was horrible because it in no way pertained to the OP.  It seemed to be lacking in the reading comprehension department.  Also, I think it hypocritcal to say that if you think that he is the one that you should only wait as long as it doesn't make you sick.  If he is truly 'the one,' then you will have discussed your mutual goals and be on the same path.  When there are two people in a relationship, neither one of them gets to dictate the exact timeline.  It is about compromising and making it work for both people.

If a woman wants to get married, then she should COMMUNICATE with her partner.  I am in no way saying to wait forever.  However, the idea of just waiting around until you are sick of waiting implies that you are not an active participant in the relationship.  An engagement is not all about the man.  It is about BOTH people making a joint decision to get married.  It should be openly discussed before there is ever an engagement.

While the OP may be a little crazy pants, her boyfriend does not seem like he does not want to get married or like he won't propose.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  He is saying exactly when he wants to get married.  Marley's post is very spot on in terms of GREAT advice.  Yours on the other hand.  <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/0/dbaab4e4-712c-4e51-b017-0c9ebce933e7.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'dbaab4e4-712c-4e51-b017-0c9ebce933e7', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/0/dbaab4e4-712c-4e51-b017-0c9ebce933e7.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'dbaab4e4-712c-4e51-b017-0c9ebce933e7', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> </a>

SeaTea02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:29fc3885-2b4a-4f6b-8a8f-f058b4474a1f">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]I see I haven't missed much.
Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>We were probably having this exact same conversation last time you posted. Idk how Marley has the effort to write anymore. </div><div>
</div><div>Do you have standard responses saved? I should do that. 

</div>

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:e5020e8d-27cb-4d05-b21f-d56ce2e0fbf6">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! : Your advice was horrible because it in no way pertained to the OP.  It seemed to be lacking in the reading comprehension department.  Also, I think it hypocritcal to say that if you think that he is the one that you should only wait as long as it doesn't make you sick.  If he is truly 'the one,' then you will have discussed your mutual goals and be on the same path.  When there are two people in a relationship, neither one of them gets to dictate the exact timeline.  It is about compromising and making it work for both people. If a woman wants to get married, then she should COMMUNICATE with her partner.  I am in no way saying to wait forever.  However, the idea of just waiting around until you are sick of waiting implies that you are not an active participant in the relationship.  An engagement is not all about the man.  It is about BOTH people making a joint decision to get married.  It should be openly discussed before there is ever an engagement. While the OP may be a little crazy pants, her boyfriend does not seem like he does not want to get married or like he won't propose.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  He is saying exactly when he wants to get married.  Marley's post is very spot on in terms of GREAT advice.  Yours on the other hand. 
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]

So you assume by my two short posts that I don't agree with what you just posted? I don't have time to write novels and go into great detail in my posts. You don't know me; you don't know my opinions or my background or the tone of my voice if I were to speak my post to the OP.

I don't appreciate your rudeness or disrespect toward someone you don't know. You are one of the posters on here who keep people from asking for (and giving!) advice for fear of being attacked.

PaigeMcC

...for real?

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:c7aa4a0a-e72f-4e4e-bf10-8169cce2ce78">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! : So you assume by my two short posts that I don't agree with what you just posted? I don't have time to write novels and go into great detail in my posts. You don't know me; you don't know my opinions or my background or the tone of my voice if I were to speak my post to the OP.

I don't appreciate your rudeness or disrespect toward someone you don't know. You are one of the posters on here who keep people from asking for (and giving!) advice for fear of being attacked.
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]

If you are going to post a short snippet, you do leave it up to interpretation.  Your two sentences do not mean the same thing as what I posted.  I believe I pointed that out in my earlier response.  If that was your intention, then I would look at how you are phrasing things. 

Spare me the "You don't know me and my speshul snowflake-ness."  If you've really been lurking, then you would know that I don't care.   

I am a rarely around these days, so I doubt that I am the one who is keeping people away.  A year ago I could have claimed that title with pride. 

And didn't you hear?  I am a noob.  140 posts since December?  I am definitely the one who is telling people what to say and where to go around here. <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/13/f33d41ad-1d96-4862-bdbc-b43263a9b924.large.gif" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'f33d41ad-1d96-4862-bdbc-b43263a9b924', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/3/13/f33d41ad-1d96-4862-bdbc-b43263a9b924.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>
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marleylikeair

Sea, were you asking me if I have standard responses saved, or someone else? Wasn't sure. But no, I don't. Haha.

For the record, I don't think anything the OP wrote was so crazy. Her BF said he wants to marry her this fall! Of course she's thinking about themes and dresses! Maybe, in light of advice we give her and/or what her BF says when they talk, she'll end up relaxing on the planning for now, maybe not.

I also have no problem with Amethyst's advice. I don't think it's horrible at all. It may or may not be applicable to OP's situation. I have no idea, so I didn't touch on that; I just gave OP my advice for starting a dialogue with her SO. I take what Amethyst said in a loose, general way. I thinks she means that if OP's SO isn't ready to propose, she should give him plenty of time (hence being considerate of his timeline), but not wait around past the time that she can and still live the life she wants to, especially since yes, sometimes men do keep the status quo and avoid making a full commitment, but talk about marriage, which strings women along. Amethyst, am I properly representing your thoughts here?

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:3a4edc75-a0b7-473e-86a9-14d6be1a4e9b">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]Sea, were you asking me if I have standard responses saved, or someone else? Wasn't sure. But no, I don't. Haha. For the record, I don't think anything the OP wrote was so crazy. Her BF said he wants to marry her this fall! Of course she's thinking about themes and dresses! Maybe, in light of advice we give her and/or what her BF says when they talk, she'll end up relaxing on the planning for now, maybe not. I also have no problem with Amethyst's advice. I don't think it's horrible at all. It may or may not be applicable to OP's situation. I have no idea, so I didn't touch on that; I just gave OP my advice for starting a dialogue with her SO. I take what Amethyst said in a loose, general way. I thinks she means that if OP's SO isn't ready to propose, she should give him plenty of time (hence being considerate of his timeline), but not wait around past the time that she can and still live the life she wants to, especially since yes, sometimes men do keep the status quo and avoid making a full commitment, but talk about marriage, which strings women along.<strong> Amethyst, am I properly representing your thoughts here?
</strong>Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

YES! Exactly! Thank you!!! And I agree with your advice - communication is key to a relationship and she should make sure he understands how many months she wants to spend planning their wedding and that she would like to move the relationship forward and get engaged and married. If it's been awile and he doesn't come through on the proposal and it's holding her back from living her life, then yes, she should consider cutting her losses and moving on.

Thank you Marley, you are awesome :)

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:fa3b0730-55c9-4be9-9f75-8338cb390ceb">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! : YES! Exactly! Thank you!!! And I agree with your advice - communication is key to a relationship and she should make sure he understands how many months she wants to spend planning their wedding and that she would like to move the relationship forward and get engaged and married. If it's been awile and he doesn't come through on the proposal and it's holding her back from living her life, then yes, she should consider cutting her losses and moving on. Thank you Marley, you are awesome :)
Posted by AmethystMSU[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Dude, I eat Awesome for breakfast.</div><div>
</div><div>LOL. I'm kidding. That just seemed like a fun thing to say.</div><div>
</div><div>Anyway, thanks, Amethyst! Are you in Michigan, BTW? I grew up outside Detroit.

</div>

SeaTea02

In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!:
[QUOTE]Sea, were you asking me if I have standard responses saved, or someone else? Wasn't sure. But no, I don't. Haha. For the record, I don't think anything the OP wrote was so crazy. Her BF said he wants to marry her this fall! Of course she's thinking about themes and dresses! Maybe, in light of advice we give her and/or what her BF says when they talk, she'll end up relaxing on the planning for now, maybe not. I also have no problem with Amethyst's advice. I don't think it's horrible at all. It may or may not be applicable to OP's situation. I have no idea, so I didn't touch on that; I just gave OP my advice for starting a dialogue with her SO. I take what Amethyst said in a loose, general way. I thinks she means that if OP's SO isn't ready to propose, she should give him plenty of time (hence being considerate of his timeline), but not wait around past the time that she can and still live the life she wants to, especially since yes, sometimes men do keep the status quo and avoid making a full commitment, but talk about marriage, which strings women along. Amethyst, am I properly representing your thoughts here?
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Lol I meant your own. I might start saving yours however. Always claiming the storm. 

I get what both Mutley and Amethyst are saying here. Amethyst's advice did seem a little out of place but I do agree with the idea of moving on if one individual is putting off a commitment, whether it be male or female. However if they agree to live in non-martial bliss, that is okay too. It just didn't seem to relate to this poster. It isn't like she told her to go book her venue b/c she was running low on time. 

In other words, it wasn't the best advice I have read all day, but it wasn't bad advice either. 

So lets move on and smile.

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:45101837-08b7-4dd2-9225-7742e01d7983">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! : Dude, I eat Awesome for breakfast. LOL. I'm kidding. That just seemed like a fun thing to say. Anyway, thanks, Amethyst!<strong> Are you in Michigan, BTW? I grew up outside Detroit.
</strong>Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Yep, I grew up in and still live in the suburbs of Grand Rapids! My Mom grew up outside Detroit, too.

Yay Michigan! :)

Blue & White

Just don't plan a wedding before you're engaged.

That's all.

You better not be my sister - she was born in 1988...

hetshup

Can we talk about Pandas?

Or Glee?

Or the general poofiness that is by gut?

Please?

AmethystMSU

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_says-will-married-between-aug-oct-but-wer-arent-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a59e58b3-e982-4129-b1e0-77beb6e4827ePost:c3791e5d-a3b8-441f-a24e-f1270e14ed9e">Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Says we will get married between Aug-Oct BUT wer aren't engaged! :  I get what both Mutley and Amethyst are saying here. <strong>Amethyst's advice did seem a little out of place but I do agree with the idea of moving on if one individual is putting off a commitment</strong>, whether it be male or female. However if they agree to live in non-martial bliss, that is okay too. It just didn't seem to relate to this poster. It isn't like she told her to go book her venue b/c she was running low on time.  In other words, it wasn't the best advice I have read all day, but it wasn't bad advice either.  So lets move on and smile.
Posted by SeaTea02[/QUOTE]

You're right, SeaTea, I did seem to take a little part of OP's comment and go off on that tangent. Sorry to all, I just have a friend who is always dating guys who won't commit and right now she is "so sure this current guy is the one" but he's twice divorced and 15 years older than her, and most likely will never commit to her, yet he continues to string her along because their current arrangement works great for him.

Anyway, back to OP's question! That's what brought us all to this post, right? :)

peekaboo2011

Where did OP go?