First Dance?

Elle1036

Are you/did you/will you take dance lessons or choreograph something in preparation for your first dance at your reception?

I'm just now starting to think about the fact that we'll actually be expected to dance...  and neither of us knows how...  and I'm wondering if people would really miss it if we just skipped the spotlight dances altogether.

What about you?

IrishDreamer

Never thought about it before. Bf loves to dance, I despise it. Also trying to figure or how to honor dad, stepdad and grandpa they are all pretty much my dad..... ,yeaaaaaah. I wouldn't mind if there wasn't one

motoLyn

N-O-P-E but then no one expects us to make a big number out of it.  Sway here and a twirl there and that's it.  Plus our first dance song really can't be choreographed.  Well I guess it could but I wouldn't have an idea of which style of dance you can fit it to.  We're not having father/daughter or son/mother dances.  Just a quick first dance and so be it.  What did you guys pick as your first song?

CASK85

We did not choreograph anything. I really enjoyed our first dance and mom/son, father/daughter dances. It doesn't matter if you just hold each other and spin around slowly. . . at least it wouldn't matter to me. I don't care if the couple knows how to dance. It it more about just sharing that moment for the two of you than what others are thinking/doing. Just my 2 cents. 

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:e2448728-0f18-4848-813b-dd0c062099c6">Re: First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]We did not choreograph anything. I really enjoyed our first dance and mom/son, father/daughter dances. It doesn't matter if you just hold each other and spin around slowly. . . at least it wouldn't matter to me. I don't care if the couple knows how to dance.<strong> It it more about just sharing that moment for the two of you than what others are thinking/doing. Just my 2 cents. </strong>
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]

That's how I feel, too...  at other weddings.  At my own, I feel like people are going to judge us if all we do is stand there and sway from foot to foot, which is really all we know how to do.

bethsmiles

BF and  I already know how to dance a little bit. We'd like to take dance lessons because it's something that seems fun to us but we would never want to choreograph a dance.

If you are worried about it you can have the DJ ask people to join you half way through the song so that all eyes aren't on you for the whole song. Also, the father-daughter dance or mother-son dances don't need to be spotlight dances. At most weddings I've gone too the DJ announces those dances and anyone who wants to dance with their father or mother at that point goes on the dance floor. It's more fun for the guests that way I think. No one really wants to watch those spotlight dances.

JaniV123

We are thinking of doing a sevillana so we would have to take classes and practice and such but that is totally a personal choice IMO

leia1979

I choreographed our dance about two weeks before the wedding (when we finally decided on a song). We did Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Moon," but I cut it down to about two minutes. I kept the choreo really simple because H does not dance nearly as much as I do, but we have gone for beginner ballroom from time to time.

It started with step-touch, moved to East coast swing (H's favorite), my fake Foxtrot, a spin, a little more East coast swing, and ended with the dramatic dip. It was awesome...except at the actual wedding, the dance floor was kind of uneven, and I managed to step on my own dress a couple times (it managed to get longer after it was hemmed).

We rehearsed in the parking lot of our condo complex because it was the only space we had.

ETA: To answer Elle's other question, I really wanted to take dance lessons specifically for the wedding, but private lessons are expensive and we just didn't have a lot of free time. We knew enough from having gone before to work out some basic steps.

jemmini6

H and I took a couple ballroom dance lessons, but it's something we'd talked about doing anyways, our wedding just seemed like a good reason to finally do it.  We danced to Michael Buble's "Everything", so it had a little quicker tempo than a stand and sway song, so we did a simple waltz with a few spins and a dip at the end.  Nothing choreographed though, but we had a lot of fun with it.  We've danced a few times since then too, I like knowing a 'real' dance that we can do at other events.

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:5fd3cd6b-f40c-4cc5-b294-16757a2e9236">Re: First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]Elle, I feel like after the first 30 seconds or so, I'm not watching the couple that closely anyway, unless they are doing a choreographed dance.  If they are just swaying back and forth (like FI and I will be, because I can't dance), I usually stop paying attention, or just listen to the song. Maybe I'm  bad wedding guest, though.
Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

I do the same thing. It's cute to watch for about a minute and then I usually shift my attention away from it.

mookow86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:09902f1a-3857-4564-85c8-104370956252">Re: First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First Dance? : That's how I feel, too...  at other weddings. <strong> At my own, I feel like people are going to judge us if all we do is stand there and sway from foot to foot, which is really all we know how to do.</strong>
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
This is what I was worried would happen at our wedding. Then one day I randomly found a Groupon for dance lessons and bought it. We ended up having so much fun that we signed up to take even more lessons.

I get super freaked out when I'm the center of attention and people are looking at me, so taking dance lessons has been a real confidence booster. We're not doing anything choreographed, we're just learning how to do the foxtrot to our first dance song, plus some spins and dips and stuff like that.

Even if you don't take lessons, you could learn a lot just through youtube and stuff. You could look up what type of dance would fit with your song (i.e. foxtrot, swing, etc.) and find videos teaching you how to do the steps.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:5fd3cd6b-f40c-4cc5-b294-16757a2e9236">Re: First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]Elle, I feel like after the first 30 seconds or so, I'm not watching the couple that closely anyway, unless they are doing a choreographed dance.  If they are just swaying back and forth (like FI and I will be, because I can't dance), I usually stop paying attention, or just listen to the song. <strong>Maybe I'm  bad wedding guest, though.</strong>
Posted by polo1425[/QUOTE]

H and I hope people liked our dance and stuff, but it was for us, not for them, so I wouldn't care if people didn't watch the whole time.

Peaseblossom55

I think a choreographed first dance would be great, but I've never been to a wedding where there was one.  Personally I think it would be fun to have a nice choreographed first dance,  BF has said he always wanted to take dance lessons.  We will see when the time comes though.

I don't find the first dance boring, I love to hear the song they chose and watch the couple enjoying themselves.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:147acea6-3ad5-49d2-b58d-895ca2f2c208">Re: First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First Dance? : This is what I was worried would happen at our wedding. Then one day I randomly found a Groupon for dance lessons and bought it. We ended up having so much fun that we signed up to take even more lessons. I get super freaked out when I'm the center of attention and people are looking at me, so taking dance lessons has been a real confidence booster. We're not doing anything choreographed, we're just learning how to do the foxtrot to our first dance song, plus some spins and dips and stuff like that. Even if you don't take lessons, you could learn a lot just through youtube and stuff. <strong>You could look up what type of dance would fit with your song (i.e. foxtrot, swing, etc.) and find videos teaching you how to do the steps.</strong>
Posted by mookow86[/QUOTE]

I looked up some videos yesterday when I started thinking about this, and now I know the basic steps for the waltz and the foxtrot, but I'm not sure how to go about deciding whether that fits with our song or not.  For example, since the foxtrot is a combination of slow and quick steps, how do you keep time with the music?  I really feel like I need a teacher.  Ha.

I don't feel like we need to choreograph the whole thing, but I would like to know enough dance steps to keep us going for the three minutes...

audrewuh

In Response to Re:First Dance?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First Dance?:We did not choreograph anything. I really enjoyed our first dance and mom/son, father/daughter dances. It doesn't matter if you just hold each other and spin around slowly. . . at least it wouldn't matter to me. I don't care if the couple knows how to dance. It it more about just sharing that moment for the two of you than what others are thinking/doing. Just my 2 cents.nbsp;Posted by cschianoThat's how I feel, too...nbsp; at other weddings.nbsp; At my own, I feel like people are going to judge us if all we do is stand there and sway from foot to foot, which is really all we know how to do. Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

I'll totes be a judgey mcjudgerson.

Seriously though, it's a great "moment" but you can have an equally special moment out of the spotlight, if that makes you more comfortable. Stay true to yourself and your personality. No one will care.

True story, at my bff's wedding, I totally missed the special dances because I was talking with my friends. And I was in the bridal party.

kayakgal

My ex and I took dance lessons before our wedding since I wanted to dance to something more upbeat. It ended up being a lot of fun for us. However, I don't think anyone (except maybe those who expect all weddings to fit the spotlight dances, bouquet/garder toss, cake cutting mold) would really miss the dances if you or your FI aren't comfortable dancing in front of everyone. You're already putting on one show for them (the ceremony).

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:29a48405-dee6-4738-9c7f-952a085fc6db">Re:First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:First Dance?: I'll totes be a judgey mcjudgerson. Seriously though, it's a great "moment" but you can have an equally special moment out of the spotlight, if that makes you more comfortable. Stay true to yourself and your personality. No one will care. True story, at my bff's wedding,<strong> I totally missed the special dances because I was talking with my friends. And I was in the bridal party.</strong>
Posted by audrewuh[/QUOTE]

Awesome!  I hope that happens for us.  Maybe I can pay off my ringbearer to cause a diversion.

motoLyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:c142717c-76f0-44b6-baef-69efe5e04131">Re:First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:First Dance? : Awesome!  I hope that happens for us.  Maybe I can pay off my ringbearer to cause a diversion.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

You wouldn't have to pay me, I can come and create  a diversion in the middle of your first dance :) just feed me.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:c142717c-76f0-44b6-baef-69efe5e04131">Re:First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:First Dance? : Awesome!  I hope that happens for us.  Maybe I can pay off my ringbearer to cause a diversion.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

At H's friend's wedding, the ring bearer and flower girl were slow dancing during the first dance, it was adorable and consequently, most people were paying more attention to that.  They were PISSED about it apparently.

mookow86

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:7f9c8b0e-4ce5-42e2-807e-4d9959d77934">Re: First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First Dance? : I looked up some videos yesterday when I started thinking about this, and now I know the basic steps for the waltz and the foxtrot, <strong>but I'm not sure how to go about deciding whether that fits with our song or not</strong>.  For example, since the foxtrot is a combination of slow and quick steps, how do you keep time with the music?  I really feel like I need a teacher.  Ha. I don't feel like we need to choreograph the whole thing, but I would like to know enough dance steps to keep us going for the three minutes...
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
It depends on the tempo of the song and the time signature...what's your song? Maybe I can help figure it out.

peekaboo2011

I'm really bad at this game, but I can tell you that "I don't feel like dancing" by the Scissor Sisters is a foxtrot.

ETA: I can also tell you that I am really good with latin dances (cha cha, rumba, salsa..), and while they aren't done very often for weddings, I think they'd be a lot of fun for a first dance.

Elle1036

In Response to Re:First Dance?:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First Dance?:It depends on the tempo of the song and the time signature...what's your song? Maybe I can help figure it out. Posted by mookow86[/QUOTE]

We'd tentatively decided on "The One I Love" by David Gray, but we're not set on it. If it doesn't lend itself to a dance, we'll change it.

bourgehm

We're doing the junior high sway. We really don't know how to dance much. We go to a ball every year (see my facebook pictures of the one a few days ago!), so we've picked up a few things there. But, nothing too much. So I think we'll just pick a slow song and just do that.

desertsun

My H is NOT a dancer. Even using "dancer" and "my H" in the same sentence seems weird. We just swayed.

Friends of ours took lessons and had a choreographed dance, and I felt obligated to pay attention b/c I knew they'd spent so much time at it. It was a bit awkward, though, b/c it felt much more like something they did for their guests than for themselves, if that makes sense? They just seemed to be uncomfortable.

TBH, I'll watch the first 30 seconds of the theme dances, and then my attention usually turns back to my drink, app, and the conversation at the table.

Maybe this is terrible, but I don't think guests care that much about first dance or parent/offspring dances or any other theme dance.

So. I say do what makes YOU happy. I think that dance is really for you and your H, so whatever will give you guys the most enjoyment/feel most genuine to you, do that.

thejucheidea

I don't see the point of taking lessons for the first dance, but I also had to endure two years of Cotillion and therefore know all of the dancings.

We've already agreed that our first dance will be Never Gonna Give You Up, and you can't ballroom dance to that.

leia1979

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_first-dance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a937f8a8-9fcc-4cee-870f-71733e5e103cPost:7f9c8b0e-4ce5-42e2-807e-4d9959d77934">Re: First Dance?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: First Dance? : I looked up some videos yesterday when I started thinking about this, and now I know the basic steps for the waltz and the foxtrot, but I'm not sure how to go about deciding whether that fits with our song or not.  For example, since the foxtrot is a combination of slow and quick steps, how do you keep time with the music?  I really feel like I need a teacher.  Ha. I don't feel like we need to choreograph the whole thing, but I would like to know enough dance steps to keep us going for the three minutes...
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

Honestly, unless you really want to do the full song, I recommend cutting it shorter (to like two minutes). I can do that for you if you like--I cut all the music for my dance teacher.

Foxtrot's slow-quick-quick steps are done on counts 1, 3, and 4 of music in 4/4 time. If you can count the music as "1234, 1234" then just take the slow step on one, hold two, and take the two quick steps on 3 and 4. Foxtrot is basically a waltz in 4 count music instead of 3 count music.

Elle1036

Thanks Leia!

mookow86

Yep, what leia said! You could do the foxtrot to that song.