hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

smiles731

I have noticed a lot of judgmental women on this site who are so against people planning their wedding or gathering wedding ideas prior to engagement. My question to you all is if this is how you feel then,  "WHY THE HELL DO YOU POST WEDDING THINGS IN THE NOT YET ENGAGED SECTION OF THIS SITE?"

I just don't get it. If it bothers you so much, post somewhere else, there are only like 20 other topics that are wedding related.

ALSO, you speak negatively about people who are planning for their future when they are not yet engaged YET so many of you on this board are married, are you that stuck in the past that you feel the need to hang around a wedding site? Do you not think it is better to plan for your future than to be stuck in your past? Move ON!

travelerkris

I don't really understand it either.  But what do I know - we're finishing paying off the ring that I know I'm getting next month (so we're not officially engaged yet), and we do have a date and a venue, but according to the girls here, I'm BSC for planning the event we know we're having.  Despite the fact he's told his family and friends about the date.  But we're traditional about having THE RING and an official moment of "Will You Marry Me?" despite the fact we both completely know it's happening.

It's not much of a support system here - which it should be, since we're all here because we're excited and ready and thinking about happy things to come.

Good luck smiles731.    I'm on your team. 

peekaboo2011

No one is forcing you to post.  You don't like it?  You don't have to be here.

Seriously Smiles?  You just did this like two weeks ago.  I thought you were never coming back?  We haven't missed you.

IrishDreamer

If you don't like it - GTFO. Plain & Simple. We aren't judgemental. I don't have patience pants for you today.

Swazzle

You're annoying & your posts are unoriginal.  

As a whole, everyone here pretty much agrees that it's a waste of time & energy & not beneficial to your relationship to be planning a wedding when you're not engaged. Notice I said 'NOT ENGAGED' as opposed to 'unoffically engaged' or 'engaged to be engaged' since THOSE STATUSES DO NOT EXIST. 

If you don't like it, I hear WeddingBee is always open to women like you. 

cu97tiger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:4aaed36d-af57-40bc-976d-131f8abb9e79">hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]I have noticed a lot of judgmental women on this site who are so against people planning their wedding or gathering wedding ideas prior to engagement. My question to you all is if this is how you feel then,  "WHY THE HELL DO YOU POST WEDDING THINGS IN THE NOT YET ENGAGED SECTION OF THIS SITE?" I just don't get it. If it bothers you so much, post somewhere else, there are only like 20 other topics that are wedding related. ALSO, you speak negatively about people who are planning for their future when they are not yet engaged YET so many of you on this board are married, are you that stuck in the past that you feel the need to hang around a wedding site? Do you not think it is better to plan for your future than to be stuck in your past? Move ON!
Posted by smiles731[/QUOTE]



Even though your questions were snarky and sarcastic, I'm going to answer them. Why do some of us post wedding things on this site? Because many of us came here when we were not engaged, but in the meantime have become engaged. We made good friends on this board and want to share our excitement with them.

Are the married ladies on here stuck in the past? Nope. If you actually lurked, you'd notice most topics don't have a darn thing to do with weddings. They/we stick around because this is a supportive community of smart women. Just because we don't say the things you want to hear or agree with pre-engagement planning doesn't mean there is something wrong with this board.

Finally, if we bother you so much, why don't YOU go post somewhere else.

Swazzle

Also, were 33 M's in your subject line really necessary?

Beads921

Lol rdr - you counted?

Swazzle

Beads: I couldn't help it. I wanted to be accurate haha

Stina51286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:4aaed36d-af57-40bc-976d-131f8abb9e79">hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]I have noticed a lot of judgmental women on this site who are so against people planning their wedding or gathering wedding ideas prior to engagement. My question to you all is if this is how you feel then,  "WHY THE HELL DO YOU POST WEDDING THINGS IN THE NOT YET ENGAGED SECTION OF THIS SITE?" I just don't get it. If it bothers you so much, post somewhere else, there are only like 20 other topics that are wedding related. ALSO, you speak negatively about people who are planning for their future when they are not yet engaged YET so many of you on this board are married, <strong>are you that stuck in the past</strong> that you feel the need to hang around a wedding site? Do you not think it is better to plan for your future than to be stuck in your past? Move ON!
Posted by smiles731[/QUOTE]

Or maybe most everyone here is really good friends with the others and because of that they choose not to leave, WTH is wrong with that? Get over yourself and get the hell away from here. Just because it is the Not Engaged Yet board doesn't mean the ones who are engaged haven't been here a while or whatnot, they post to get input from friends they have made on here.

csousa1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:4aaed36d-af57-40bc-976d-131f8abb9e79">hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]I have noticed a lot of judgmental women on this site who are so against people planning their wedding or gathering wedding ideas prior to engagement. My question to you all is if this is how you feel then,  "WHY THE HELL DO YOU POST WEDDING THINGS IN THE NOT YET ENGAGED SECTION OF THIS SITE?" I just don't get it. If it bothers you so much, post somewhere else, there are only like 20 other topics that are wedding related. ALSO, you speak negatively about people who are planning for their future when they are not yet engaged YET so many of you on this board are married, are you that stuck in the past that you feel the need to hang around a wedding site?<strong> Do you not think it is better to plan for your future than to be stuck in your past?</strong> Move ON!
Posted by smiles731[/QUOTE]

C) None of the above - it is better to live in the present. Which everyone on this board does quite well.

By the way, you are TOTALLY the first person to ever bring this up. You showed us.

loves2shop4shoes

*Pats head*

Let me tell you something...I've been around this board for almost 2 years.  In that time, I got engaged and have made some amazing friendships with fellow posters.    I will be getting married in August, and I hope they don't boot me off for being an old, married hag.

In the time I've been here, we've seen dozens of little maggots like you come on here and stamp their little feet because we don't validate preplanning.  If you voluntarily choose to break cultural norms when it comes to engagements, you can't then expect a "traditional" engagement.  (Ie.  If you become engaged by means of setting a date and booking a venue, then you don't get to become engaged by means of a proposal.)  It's really not that complicated.

Here's my advice to you:  Grow up.  Not everyone is always going to agree with you.  If you know the posters on here disagree with your choices, why stumble onto our board and try to cut us down?  Are you honestly stupid enough to think you won't get flamed and will suddenly show us all "the light"?  Are you honestly arrogant enough to assume you're the first to say this?

Get over yourself.  And GTFO our board.

Kthnxbai.

zipis1

Yawn. Unoriginal post is unoriginal and it bores me.

Funny pictures, however, do not.

swhite2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:7508b99e-5c81-45bb-84f0-92bb90de192b">Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]*Pats head* Let me tell you something...I've been around this board for almost 2 years.  In that time, I got engaged and have made some amazing friendships with fellow posters.    I will be getting married in August, and I hope they don't boot me off for being an old, married hag. In the time I've been here, we've seen dozens of little <strong>maggots</strong> like you come on here and stamp their little feet because we don't validate preplanning.  If you voluntarily choose to break cultural norms when it comes to engagements, you can't then expect a "traditional" engagement.  (Ie.  If you become engaged by means of setting a date and booking a venue, then you don't get to become engaged by means of a proposal.)  It's really not that complicated. Here's my advice to you:  Grow up.  Not everyone is always going to agree with you.  If you know the posters on here disagree with your choices, why stumble onto our board and try to cut us down?  Are you honestly stupid enough to think you won't get flamed and will suddenly show us all "the light"?  Are you honestly arrogant enough to assume you're the first to say this? Get over yourself.  And GTFO our board. Kthnxbai.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This choice of words amuses me. It reminds me of the old Disney Channel movie Cadet Kelly (which I just watched on Netflix reliving my adolescence). Hilary Duff goes to military camp and her officer keeps calling her Maggot. Random, I know.</div><div>
</div><div>Other than that, I have nothing to add to what you wise ladies have said.

</div>

beanbot2002

Donkey kick. Your uterus. For the sake of the world, one can only pray that the two meet one day.

polkadot111

Go away please.

Stina51286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:42ae5ca4-41df-49ee-b606-3ebb6e632243">Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]Donkey kick. Your uterus. For the sake of the world, one can only pray that the two meet one day.
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

I love you! lol thanks for the entertainment

beanbot2002

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:4f4187b2-da6d-4177-b5eb-9a2f0cc66cd7">Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm : I love you! lol thanks for the entertainment
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

And I love you.

Hilraythebride

I couldn't agree with loves2shop more!  Especially when she says if you already set the day then you don't get to have a traditional engagement too.  I just don't understand planning the we3dding before you get married.  People say it is finacial reasons but then just have a longer engagement.  A lot of people do it and of course it is not ideal but it makes more sence to me!

I just see it as putting the cart before the hourse and all those sayings!!  My bf would be freaked the eff our if I told him I booked the venue and we weren't even engaged yet.  Even when I knew he had the ring he stil would have been thinking what the hell!  There is plenty of time for al that during your engagement but I think you should take some of the time to just enjoy being together and spreading the good news.

jemmini6

You know you are just jealous that you aren't invited to our awesome G2G in May.  But I guess since I'm just an old married hag now, you wouldn't be interested in hanging out with me...cuz you know, I've never been NEY, or planned a wedding, so I obviously couldn't have any advice to give...

swhite2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:bbf473bb-91a8-4052-a419-e22525fb46c3">Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]I couldn't agree with loves2shop more!  Especially when she says if you already set the day then you don't get to have a traditional engagement too.  I just don't understand planning the we3dding before you get married.  People say it is finacial reasons but then just have a longer engagement.  A lot of people do it and of course it is not ideal but it makes more sence to me! I just see it as putting the cart before the hourse and all those sayings!!  My bf would be freaked the eff our if I told him I booked the venue and we weren't even engaged yet.  Even when I knew he had the ring he stil would have been thinking what the hell!  There is plenty of time for al that during your engagement but I think you should take some of the time to just enjoy being together and spreading the good news.
Posted by Hilraythebride[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Hilray, I'm confused. You agree with Shoes, yet you refer to your significant other as your BF, but have a ticker to a wedding date? Something doesn't add up.

</div>

DetArt00

Take all your m's and go away.

doubleSS07

ugh what is it, like once a month we get one of these posts? 

Look OP and Travelerkris not everyone on here came here to start planning their future before they were engaged.  I came to the Knot as a MOH and stumbled on this board.  I know my BF has a ring too and he plans to give it to me sometime in the near future but you know what I am NOT picking dates and venues etc... because I am NOT engaged. 

If you have already picked a date and a venue and you are telling everyone about it then it sounds like you are engaged despite not having a ring and that's fine.  I don't feel comfortable picking that stuff without having what "I" consider a proper proposal which includes the ring. 

So my question to you would be why are you so upset about an online message board that doesn't promote planning a wedding before you are engaged? If you are already planning shouldn't you just be posting on the boards about planning a wedding?  oh and as a PP said there are a ton of married ladies on TK, if they wern't here living in the past how would you get advice about pre-planning your future?

DanieKA

You know what OP and posters that agree. You're right and everyone else is wrong. There's nothing wrong with a little pre-planning and being prepared. I mean, I'm actually over on the bump right now under a different screen name talking about my morning sickness and how we're decorating our nursery. I mean, I know I'm not pregnant yet, but I see no reason I can't post onto the tri boards (I've decided I'm in my second tri-in my head. JUST TO BE PREPARED) and natural birth, and cloth diapering boards. I just want to be prepared, and save costs, OKAY! I mean, I know we're headed that way so why not just go for it! 

Sometimes I even post on the infertility board or the TTC after a loss board, you know just in case I have to face that! MUST. BE. PREPARED. FOR. ALL. POSSIBILITIES.

Because we are definitely having a baby so what's the harm in jumping the gun, right? I also purchased a crib. I have no idea where I'm gonna put it when it's delivered, but BF and I agree that it was okay, so it's totally sane! And if I don't buy this baby bedding it's not gonna be available when we do have a kid so i must "OMG! GET IT NOW!!!" I mean, just like booking our venue pre-engagement, our baby just won't be the same without this bedding!!!! My taste won't change between now and say, 2 or 3 (or 5) years from now! And it's a good thing we booked our venue 3 years before our engagement b/c our wedding and marriage just wouldn't be valid without the PERFECT VENUE!

Pre-planners unite!!!! We are normal and everyone else is just b!tchy or an old married hag, living in the past, whose eggs are probably dried up so they can't pre-plan like we can! THIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL, OKAY!

memilie

I always wanted to have the traditional engagement where I was completely surprised etc.  However, real life happened.  My fiance and I fell in love so fast and were talking marriage and had a date set after two months together.  We were so close to each other that I couldn't imagine not talking about our future together.  Maybe it was because we were in our 30s, but neither one of us was afraid of committment, or would be freaked out by discussing things like venues and churches, etc.  When we realized that if we waited for the ring before securing the venue, nothing would be availble, we just decided to book it.  When he got down on one knee with the ring (almost a year after we had starting talking about marriage), it was still a wonderful moment, and I was completely overwhelmed with emotion.  We didn't call ourselves engaged before our formal proposal, but we both had such a strong commitment to one another we might as well have been. 
I think you have to give people room to do things their own way.  Just because you got engaged one way doesn't mean that that is the right way for everybody else, especially in the 21st century. 
As long as you and your boyfriend/partner/fiance/intended/whatever are happy and committed, I don't see the problem with pre-planning, especially with how competitve vendors are, and how expensive weddings can be.  

swhite2012

Dear OP and every other poster that has come in here and said the exact same thing as you:

You're right. Everyone does things their own way. But if you know that what you're doing (pre-planning) is not the norm in a certain group (ie. NEY boards), why do you post here??? I don't get it. This board is OBVIOUSLY a certain way. There is absolutely no point in coming in here and throwing a temper tantrum. There are so many other outlets to share your Pre Planning (ie. WeddingBee), why do you care how we do things here? I really don't get it.

DanieKA

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:99a7ed00-6d92-40dc-99a0-05e782ea724c">Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]Danie you crack me up.  :)
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

<div>I try:) I just KANT WITH THIS, though! Why people, why?</div>

KikiMira

Hmmmm is right...

leia1979

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:4aaed36d-af57-40bc-976d-131f8abb9e79">hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]I have noticed a lot of judgmental women on this site who are so against people planning their wedding or gathering wedding ideas prior to engagement. My question to you all is if this is how you feel then,  "WHY THE HELL DO YOU POST WEDDING THINGS IN THE NOT YET ENGAGED SECTION OF THIS SITE?" I just don't get it. If it bothers you so much, post somewhere else, there are only like 20 other topics that are wedding related. ALSO, you speak negatively about people who are planning for their future when they are not yet engaged <strong>YET so many of you on this board are married, are you that stuck in the past that you feel the need to hang around a wedding site? Do you not think it is better to plan for your future than to be stuck in your past? Move ON!</strong>
Posted by smiles731[/QUOTE]

Well duh, I'm married. What else is there to plan for?  My life is over.

bethsmiles

I don't care if you pre-plan. I don't if you call yourself "unofficially engaged" or "engaged-to-be-engaged": I'm not your friend or family so I really couldn't care less what you choose to do. But I don't want to hear about it on this board either. There are plenty of other places on the internet (weddingbee) that have the type of community you are looking for. Go there instead of trying to change the dynamics of this board.

You don't make friends IRL by trying to change an entire group of people, you make friends by finding people who share similar interests and ideas. YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!

memilie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:aa69044e-6ff2-4a74-acca-a57e5b4b9772Post:42ae5ca4-41df-49ee-b606-3ebb6e632243">Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm</a>:
[QUOTE]Donkey kick. Your uterus. For the sake of the world, one can only pray that the two meet one day.
Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

Wow.  That isn't funny.  Its mean and violent.