I didn't realize how much an off day wedding can save

Goldlie11

FI and I have started visiting restaurants to find the perfect one for our reception. At one place, we would save hundreds of dollars on food if we had our wedding/ reception on a Thursday instead of a friday.  However, I don't want to inconvenience my guests.  It doesn't matter to me because I'll be off from work anyway.  Fi will have to take the day off.  Most people are going to be coming after work anyway since it will still be on a weekday whether or  not we do it on a Friday or a Thursday.  What do you think about a Thursday wedding?  

Button5807

I think it depends on where your guests are coming from. If they're all traveling from far away you're now making them take two days off from work and that's kind of crappy IMO.

saisongbird

It's going to depend on a few things - the number of OOT guests you have, whether or not the next day (or the day of, or the day before) is a holiday - based on your ticker I gather you're looking at July, so why not look at having it on 4th of July?  As for me, I would consider it rude.  In the summer, it may not matter for some teachers, but unless 100% of your guest list is teachers and NONE of them are in grad school over the summer, I'd recommend straying away from Thursday and consider Friday night or Sunday afternoon.

Goldlie11

I should have mentioned that we'll have only 1 or 2 OOT guests.  It's a small wedding of only 30 people.

Also, for those of you who post on Etiquette, posted a similar question.  

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_didnt-realize-much-off-day-wedding-can-save?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adb5124d-ecbc-496e-b370-558934571e60Post:0f25a1ee-76f2-45cc-a145-9baa9f4e7e91">Re: I didn't realize how much an off day wedding can save</a>:
[QUOTE]It's going to depend on a few things - the number of OOT guests you have, whether or not the next day (or the day of, or the day before) is a holiday - based on your ticker I gather you're looking at July, so why not look at having it on 4th of July?  As for me, I would consider it rude.  In the summer, it may not matter for some teachers, but unless 100% of your guest list is teachers and NONE of them are in grad school over the summer, I'd recommend straying away from Thursday and consider Friday night or Sunday afternoon.
Posted by saisongbird[/QUOTE]
Sunday is out because it has to be on a weekday.  I was also told that having the reception and ceremony on different days is rude, which is why I had originally considered Friday.

babybchbum

You do save a TON of Money doing a M-Th wedding but you can still save A LOT by having a Fri or Sunday wedding.

The most expensive is Saturday Night. If you do a Saturday Brunch you can save lots of money too.

I've been through this with 3 friends when I was helping them plan their weddings.

KD+BC

I remember you talking about the fact that you are doing the dinner the day of the civil ceremony which would have to be a weekday and I agree that it's a good idea to do it all the same day. IMO, I think you should do Friday even though it will cost you more and just save money elsewhere like decor and favors. Just save yourself the headache of explaining why you are doing it during the week and convenience your OOT guests (even if there are only a couple).

jeanacorina

Do it on a Thursday. If people want to come, they will find a way to make it. You're only inviting 30 people, not 300... so I assume that means they're all very close and wouldn't think twice about taking off work to be there for you.

Half my 100-person guest list is OOT, and I'm having my wedding on a friday. If they don't like it, too bad. I wanted to elope anyway.

Acrosthec

Since there are only 1-2 guests that are OOT, I would have it on a Thursday and save the money.  In all actuality, if all your guests are in town, it's more of a "night out" for them than a reception that they have to travel and miss work for.  I think in this scenario a Thursday wedding/reception would be alright.

noelle24

I'm going to have to disagree with you here jeana. Just because someone is close to you and will "find a way to make it" is not a valid reason to inconvenience them. That's really crappy logic, in my opinion.

Also, no matter how much someone loves someone else, they just may not be able to take off work to make it to the wedding.  And no one should use an accept or a decline to a wedding invite (especially on an off day) as a barometer of how good of a friend someone is.

That being said, if it's all in-town people it might not be too bad for you Goldlie.  If you do Thursday though, make it a late dinner (think 7-8 pm).  That way people have enough time to go home after work, shower, change, and make it to your reception.  Also, be prepared for some declines or to have people leave early. On a Thursday night, there's no way I can stay up past midnight and still function at work the next day, so we'd be leaving the reception by 10-10:30.

If you're looking for a lower-key event where people just eat a nice meal, chat, and then leave, it could work out well for you though!

desertsun

I don't see a big difference between Friday or Thursday, so I say go with Thursday and save the money. People will understand, or they won't, but you can't really control that, so I don't think you should base your decision around it. You can only do what's right for you and your FH.

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_didnt-realize-much-off-day-wedding-can-save?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adb5124d-ecbc-496e-b370-558934571e60Post:93ee408c-f3a2-4b60-b80a-d14aef4270c0">Re: I didn't realize how much an off day wedding can save</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm going to have to disagree with you here jeana. Just because someone is close to you and will "find a way to make it" is not a valid reason to inconvenience them. That's really crappy logic, in my opinion. Also, no matter how much someone loves someone else, they just may not be able to take off work to make it to the wedding.  And no one should use an accept or a decline to a wedding invite (especially on an off day) as a barometer of how good of a friend someone is. That being said, if it's all in-town people it might not be too bad for you Goldlie.  If you do Thursday though, make it a late dinner (think 7-8 pm).  That way people have enough time to go home after work, shower, change, and make it to your reception.  Also, be prepared for some declines or to have people leave early. On a Thursday night, there's no way I can stay up past midnight and still function at work the next day, so we'd be leaving the reception by 10-10:30. If you're looking for a lower-key event where people just eat a nice meal, chat, and then leave, it could work out well for you though!
Posted by noelle24[/QUOTE]<div>I would never think that someone loves me or does not love me based on whether or not they can make it to my wedding dinner/reception.  Of the 2 OOT guests that we are inviting, one may have a hard time making it.  I fully understand and would not be angry at all.  We are planning to have the dinner end by either 9:30 or 10:00 pm.  I wouldn't be upset if people leave early.  

</div>

katanne9

Since you only are having 2 OOT guests, I would definitely consider having it on a Thursday. Since it's only going to be 30 people anyways, and they all live in town, it really won't make that much of a difference.

If the price is right and it's what you want, I would say to go for it.

noelle24

[QUOTE] I would never think that someone loves me or does not love me based on whether or not they can make it to my wedding dinner/reception...I fully understand and would not be angry at all.    
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

I didn't really think you would Goldlie.  My comment was more for any BSC lurkers who think that logic is okay.  I've seen some brides flip out that people RSVP'd no to their 5pm Friday wedding.  I've also seen people use the logic of "if they love me, they won't care!" to justify things that really are etiquette no-no's.  It just touched a sore spot for me, and I wanted to say something in case other people were reading the thread.

Like I said later, I think in your case, this could work out beautifully!

jeanacorina

Well, that's not really what I meant, but I can see how some people would take it wrong.

I meant that I will get married regardless of guest count. Whether 2 people or 200 people show up, it doesn't really matter to me.

Having Uncle Billy-Bob get trashed and make a horrific and embarrassing toast will in no way make or break my wedding day. I just don't really care. I wanted to go to Mexico and get married on a beach with just our parents and siblings there.

I am having a Friday wedding because I wanted to get married in June due to school scheduling and weather in Louisiana. Saturdays were pretty much booked up.

If people make it, great. If not, fine with me. I don't even know any of FI's family.

The people I absolutely really do want there will make it, because they are my parents, my siblings, our officiant (mutual friend), and my MOH (cousin). Come hell or high water, they'll be there... and that's really all I want. Everything else can fall apart. I'm still marrying the greatest guy ever.

So, that's what I meant. More or less.

noelle24

Yeah, jeana, I didn't think you meant it that way.  But I feel like I "know" you from posting on these boards so much.  I just wanted to put that out there because I HAVE seen bridezillas use that logic to justify their "ME ME ME!" attitude. 

For example, I read a recent post where the bride wanted to have a wednesday wedding because the date was "special" and was upset that her mom was pitching a fit about having to take off work. Hello? It's your MOM.  She's more important than any damn date on the calendar!  Her logic? "Well, I'm her only daughter, so she HAS to make it no matter what! It's MY day, not hers!"

jeanacorina

Aww, noelle, I'm so glad we're on the same wavelength!

notquiteblushing

I don't know.  I"m sort of torn on this one.  I agree with whoever said you will already be saving money by having the wedding on a Friday so why not make the night a little easier for your guests?  I usually like to sleep in the day after a wedding but couldn't if I had to get up and go to work.  It wouldn't be too bad considering people go out all the time during the week, especially in NYC, but I just would prefer a Friday as a guest.

rainsfallsoftly

I personally don't see anything wrong with a Thursday wedding, especially if it's small as you said and hardly any out of towners.  If people have to work on Friday, well then, they do not need to drink.  If it's it the summer, chances are a lot of people could take a long weekend anyway.  I can see why people think a Thursday wedding is bad for more than 50 people, but for an intimate wedding like yours, I say go for it as long as it's cool with the people that matter most (parents, siblings, etc.)