Bridezillas

CrzyCatLady

Hi everyone!  I had an unreasonable encounter with the bride I'm MOH for today and it got me thinking about Bridezillas.  Why do you think brides transform into this so often?

I think it's a case of entitlement that was instilled in them slowly by the wedding industry.  The more they plan, the more they hear "It's YOUR day!" and "You only get married once, so it should be PERFECT!"  It slowly builds up until they release some of the crazy on those around them.

For the record "my" bride isn't a bridezilla, but what she did today was seriously rude. 

DanieKA

Well do tell! Don't leave us hanging? What did she do that was so rude?

I wouldn't say that a lot of women turn into bridezillas. I do think there's merit to what you say about the wedding industry and hearing the "it's YOUR day" stuff, can get to someone. But I think there is always one or 2 things a bride cares about a lot and therefore may get a tad BSC about. 

For example, I have a friend who got three dresses. 3!!! Not to wear, but bought 3 different dresses. #1 she sold on ebay (good choice as we all agree now that it was hideous), 2 she bought and liked, but she kept shopping for some strange reason and found something else. luckily it was at the same store, so she was able to stop the order and pay the difference for the 3rd dress. 

She wasn't rude or anything, but I would call this her bridezilla moment. No harm, no foul except we make fun of her a little bit for having bought 3 dresses. Im sure some brides are this way about the food or music or venue. We all have our "thing." But I think reality tv makes all brides seem crazy and I don't think all, or even most are really that bad. 

CrzyCatLady

I guess I've seen some ridiculous stuff more than others.  Maybe it's the area, maybe it's just that their personalities are predisposed to go into Bridezilla mode.  

As for my friend . . . I'm trying to throw her a bridal shower and she's just stressing me out.  I asked for a guest list/count 2 months ago because I was trying to figure out where I could hold it.  She belongs to a rather large knitting club, so there was some talk of the shower being 40ish people.  I told her if it's going to be that big, it's fine, but let me know early so I can find a place to rent.  She finally came back with 30, most likely 25 attending.  25 can fit in my house, but not much more than that.  So, we decided to have it at my house.  I wanted to buy the invites Friday, but I was waiting for her to send me the official guest list (in case she miscounted or something).  Her FI sent it to me this morning, and I was about the buy the invites when I get an email from her saying, "BTW ask [other bridesmaid] if she's planning on throwing me a shower with just the knitting club people, because it will alter the guest list if she isn't."  So, I email her back asking what she meant, and she means that she'll want to add on more people.  

1.  It's super awkward that I have to email this other bridesmaid and ask her if she's planning on throwing another shower, because it sounds like I'm pressuring her to do it.  And this bridesmaid is pregnant.  I don't really know her, but I really don't think a woman who is pregnant and already has a 2 year old has "shower for Bride!" at the top of her to-do list.

2.  I HAVE to order the invites this week so I can get them in time to send them out on time.  The shower's at the beginning of August.

3.  If she adds more people, I can't have it at my house, and I can't order the invites until I figure out where to have it.  All of the bridesmaids are financially strapped for various reasons, and we would all rather not pay to rent a space.

4.  Shouldn't she have brought this up 2 months ago when I was asking for numbers?

Oy.  I'm just so mad at her right now.

jorhys

Sorry to hear you're having these issues with the bride. Sounds like some miscommunication is happening. She must be someone special in your life for you to be the MOH. So, my advice would be to just nicely explain to her the things you are concerned about. You're right, she should have let you know ahead of time. But, what can you do about it now? Just move forward and try to stay as positive as possible.

Also, when you do email the other bridesmaid just explain the situation. Apologize for having to be somewhat awkward. She may actually want to throw the other shower. If she doesn't, maybe the two of you can figure out how to throw the bride one shower that will include all of the guests.