To Offer Or Not To Offer???

[Deleted User]

So, as most of you know by now, BF's brother is getting married! They've set a date in late August and picked the venue: they're getting married on a beautiful ranch in the mountains. Most family is from out of town, so everyone is renting cabins and staying on site. The wedding will be Friday, but most people are staying through Saturday night and then traveling home on Sunday.

Anyway, I would love to host an after-wedding brunch the next morning just for family (both bride's & groom's). This is of course assuming the bride and groom do not already have plans for that day & aren't leaving immediately for their honeymoon. (I'll find this out next weekend) A girlfriend's family did this for her and she said it was so much fun to see everyone the morning after and hear how much they loved the wedding after all their hard work.

SO...do you think I should ask the couple if they might like something like this? I don't want to be in their way...but I thought it might be fun for them. What do you all think? Should I offer, or just butt out?

oceana919

If that's something that you mean a lot to you, go ahead and offer it. If they decide they don't want it, they can tell you that. I think it's incredibly sweet that you would offer that in the first place.

PaigeMcC

I think that's a really sweet offer.  I would TOTALLY love for anyone to do that for me.  If they can't- then it's the thought that counts;)

Beads921

Offer to do it if it's something you think sounds fun. It's not uncommon where I'm from for someone in the family to host a brunch the following day. Personally though, I don't like them because it means getting up early-ish, and having to get cleaned up and dressed on a day that you'd probably rather sleep in. Yes, it is nice to see everybody, but when I went to one for BF's brother's wedding, we were all zombies.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_offer-not-offer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b331f682-5b40-4a00-91b3-caa819716229Post:67ef6365-e9b7-4833-81d0-b09ea94b1bca">Re: To Offer Or Not To Offer???</a>:
[QUOTE]Offer to do it if it's something you think sounds fun. It's not uncommon where I'm from for someone in the family to host a brunch the following day. Personally though,<strong>I don't like them because it means getting up early-ish, and having to get cleaned up and dressed on a day that you'd probably rather sleep in. Yes, it is nice to see everybody, but when I went to one for BF's brother's wedding, we were all zombies.
</strong>Posted by Beads921[/QUOTE]

I did think about this. I probably wouldn't have it until around 10AM and as far as i'm concerned it could be a PJ party. It does not have to be a fancy thing at all. I just thought it would be nice for everyone since not everyone will have kitchens and there is only 1 restaurant within 5 miles. This way everyone could wander by whenever they felt like it.

cu97tiger

I think it's a great idea. I'd definitely try to find out if they already have any plans for that day, or if they have a ton of out of town guests that they would feel bad leaving out. It's really nice of you to want to do that for them!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_offer-not-offer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b331f682-5b40-4a00-91b3-caa819716229Post:de1e980a-cb99-471a-be96-4b3a3cf45056">Re: To Offer Or Not To Offer???</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's a great idea. I'd definitely try to find out if they already have any plans for that day,<strong> or if they have a ton of out of town guests that they would feel bad leaving out.</strong> It's really nice of you to want to do that for them!
Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

That's a good thought Tiger. The wedding will only be a little over an hour away from their home town, so I was assuming that most unrelated guests would not be staying the night...but I guess I could open it up to anyone staying overnight. I just don't want it to get too big...

jeanacorina

You can certainly offer- but understand that not all couples are available or want to do anything the morning after their wedding. DH and I spent 2 days relaxing in our luxurious jacuzzi suite and there's no way I would have wanted to go anywhere the morning of our wedding.

We did go to dinner with our out-of-town friends the following evening... but we got to sleep until 2pm (aside from my mom calling me at 8am the morning after my wedding- NO KIDDING) and didn't need to rush. It was nice.

Just see if it's something they'd like to do, and if not then please don't be offended- wedding planning is hard work and lots of stress- some couples are desperate for some down-time after all that!

[Deleted User]

I wouldn't get hurt over it or anything...Just thought it would be a nice thing to offer. Sounds like an overwhelming "go for it", so I think i'll ask the couple next weekend if it's something they might like. You're right Jeana, they may be too exhausted from the night before, or even just want some time to themselves. If it's a no-go, no biggie - I just wanted to get an idea from everyone on here if I was going overboard or if it was an odd thing to offer to do.

Thanks for the suggestions and thoughts ladies! Helpful as always!!

marleylikeair

That sounds like such a nice gesture, Allusive! Just make sure they know you won't be offended if they decline--you know they'll have plenty going on and might have other ideas/plans for that morning.

desertsun

My brother and his wife hosted a morning after brunch for us. We didn't have to be there til 10 am. My SIL and my mom planned/organized the whole thing. There were pastries, coffee, juice, fruit, quiche, etc...I think it pretty much ALL came from costco. We had a lot of OOT family, so it was nice to be able to spend a bit more time with them. We opened presents, too. We were done by about 3 pm. It was awesome. Def. one of my favorite parts of our wedding. DO EEET!!!

[Deleted User]

Yay Desert - I'm glad to hear from someone who had one and really enjoyed it. I was definitely planning on Costco for most things. Most of the families are from CA & SD, so I thought it would be nice for them to have food and something to look forward to their last day here. I will check with the bride and groom though just to make sure it's something they would like and that they don't have other plans.

Was yours just family or were all OOT guests invited?

leia1979

I'm a little late to this, but my friend's wedding had a next day BBQ with family, WP, and OOT guests. It was so much fun, and it gave everyone a chance to hang out in a more relaxed atmosphere. FI and I want to do the same thing.

Also, with a lunch, you get to sleep in longer. 

katanne9

I would definitely offer! They can always refuse!!

we had a morning-after brunch and it was fun! It was especially nice to get to spend that extra time with the people that travelled, and nice for them to have a decent meal before they hit the road again.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_offer-not-offer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b331f682-5b40-4a00-91b3-caa819716229Post:bd7fe6bf-008a-4ed4-a527-9274429be21b">Re: To Offer Or Not To Offer???</a>:
[QUOTE]Yay Desert - I'm glad to hear from someone who had one and really enjoyed it. I was definitely planning on Costco for most things. Most of the families are from CA & SD, so I thought it would be nice for them to have food and something to look forward to their last day here. I will check with the bride and groom though just to make sure it's something they would like and that they don't have other plans. Was yours just family or were all OOT guests invited?
Posted by allusive007[/QUOTE]

<div>Sorry, Allusive, I missed this til now.</div><div>
</div><div>Mine was just family b/c I only had one OOT guest who was not family, and she was flying home that afternoon and was spending that morning with family she had in the area.</div><div>
</div><div>If I'd had more OOT guests, they would definitely have been invited, too. </div><div>
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