Not Engaged Yet

I feel so out of place on my wedding month board

I know I started posting here but haven't been aorund for a bit again...life is busy!

I must be the ONLY woman there that is on my 2nd wedding haha.  And I feel like I'm the oldest (even though I am not).  Just feels weird posting there I guess.   I'm at such a different spot in my life than everyone there, and most of you here too I think lol.  It's not every day you get widowed and then remarried, right? 

Anyway, I have some happy news!! Fi told me he is planning to propose before august!!! So I'll have that ring on my finger in less than a month! He's killing me though because he said NOT in the next two weeks and NOT on my birthday (which is July 16th)...and we're going on vacation with our kids for 10 days too.  He's quite sneaky.  But wow...i am SO freakin excited!!! I'm so happy that ring is almost paid off.
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Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board

  • cu97tigercu97tiger member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Krusty - maybe you feel out of place on your wedding month board because you aren't actually engaged yet. I checked out the month I <think> BF and I will get married and I couldn't bring myself to write anything because I'm NEY. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable once that ring is on your finger.
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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:c02a851b-a637-4b60-9a4e-5be58dcb1b41">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Krusty - maybe you feel out of place on your wedding month board because you aren't actually engaged yet.</strong> I checked out the month I <think> BF and I will get married and I couldn't bring myself to write anything because I'm NEY. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable once that ring is on your finger.
    Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

    This.


  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I thought we agreed not to feed this troll?
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • Ollie08Ollie08 Central FL member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    <div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:c02a851b-a637-4b60-9a4e-5be58dcb1b41">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]Krusty - maybe you feel out of place on your wedding month board because you aren't actually engaged yet. I checked out the month I <think /> BF and I will get married and I couldn't bring myself to write anything because I'm NEY. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable once that ring is on your finger.
    Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. If you're still waiting for the proposal then you're Not Engaged Yet. </div>

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  • Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Yep, while it's great to be excited your proposal is coming (I imagine all of ours are SOMEDAY if they haven't already come) - make sure you chill out and enjoy these next few weeks (or however long) - I mean, July 4th, your bday...those are things to celebrate!

    I think once you're actively planning a wedding, your month board will be more excited to have you there (but I'd recommend not doing that until you have the ring/proposal)
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • edited December 2011
    Troll? seriously? why on earth would you call me a troll? 

    And we have planned a lot of the wedding already, most everything is booked.  I am unofficiall his fiance...i'm even listed as so on official army paperwork.  we already live together, feels like we're married already.  And he refers to me as his fiance and vice versa, but wont make it official until he can give me the ring :)
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I need to save the God killed a kitten picture....  *Sigh*
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • edeegedeeg member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Pardon me, but I'd imagine if you've already booked things then you're definitely engaged, just without a ring/fancy proposal...
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:8c769c31-1146-426a-bba9-9830409ddac5">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]Troll? seriously? why on earth would you call me a troll?  And we have planned a lot of the wedding already, most everything is booked.  I am unofficiall his fiance...i'm even listed as so on official army paperwork.  we already live together, feels like we're married already.  And he refers to me as his fiance and vice versa, but wont make it official until he can give me the ring :)
    Posted by KrustyTheCat[/QUOTE]

    She called you a troll because it's unlikely you are a real person.

    You either are or aren't engaged. There is no "official" or "unofficial". If you have everything booked, well I'm sorry hunny YOU ARE ENGAGED. You just don't have a ring. Accept it, get over it.


  • LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:8c769c31-1146-426a-bba9-9830409ddac5">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]Troll? seriously? why on earth would you call me a troll?  And we have planned a lot of the wedding already, most everything is booked.  I am unofficiall his fiance...i'm even listed as so on official army paperwork.  we already live together, feels like we're married already.  And he refers to me as his fiance and vice versa, but wont make it official until he can give me the ring :)
    Posted by KrustyTheCat[/QUOTE]

    You're a shiity troll. Come on, this is textbook MUD right here.
    5/27/12
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  • edited December 2011
    wow.  some of you are really  a piece of work.
    unlikely I'm a real person? hahahaha. 
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:2209ccb9-0004-4ee8-afdb-0bd77487027b">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]wow.  some of you are really  a piece of work. unlikely I'm a real person? hahahaha. 
    Posted by KrustyTheCat[/QUOTE]

    Basically we think you are some jackass sitting behind a computer spouting all this stuff that you KNOW is going to get people irritated just for kicks.  Obviously you are a real person outside of the internet.


  • edited December 2011
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:a9e5434a-e9ea-488e-8c8f-7f27c919fbf9">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]
    Posted by niknik15[/QUOTE]

    Thank you!
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • edited December 2011
    Bethsmiles...that is not  my intention at all.  I only came here to post because I felt out of place at my wedding month board.  Obviously I feel out of place here too, so maybe I shouldn't post if I am not welcome to.  
  • AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I didn't know there was an "unofficially engaged" option on military paper work. This is amazing.
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
  • edited December 2011
    OMG there is NOT that on military paperwork.  I meant he listed me as his fiance.  sorry for forgetting to clarify that. 
  • AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    The military doesn't care if he is engaged. It's either married or single.
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    You are welcome to post here. There are plenty of ladies here who are engaged or even married. But if you've pretty much planned and booked everything for your wedding that means you are engagaed, you just don't have a ring.


  • DanieKADanieKA member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:83f7ccf4-ebf3-462d-b6e8-2a9fc6b321cb">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]Pardon me, but I'd imagine if you've already booked things then you're definitely engaged, just without a ring/fancy proposal...
    Posted by edeeg[/QUOTE]

    <div>I assumed this when I read the post. That they were engaged, just without the ring. Now...not so sure. OP, you don't need a ring to be engaged, but it sounds like you personally need a ring and a proposal, so stop checking out your "wedding month" board until you get that. </div><div>
    </div><div>ETA: OP, there probably are a lot of differences b/t the "average" knottie and you. You're right, not many people on the boards (I assume, though I could be wrong) are widowed and getting re-married. The ages can vary wildly, but I do feel like a lot of the boards skew from early to mid-twenties on average. But when you do join that board, AFTER you get engaged, you'll all have one big thing in common...planning a wedding. So try focusing on that. On dress hunting and menus, and family drama, and venues and guest lists and all that other fun stuff that can come with being a bride. Try not to focus on all of the differences you see. If you do that, you'll never find common ground and you will feel uncomfortable on the boards. </div>
  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:961329fc-ed20-4858-bb0e-fd085ddb9da6">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]The military doesn't care if he is engaged. It's either married or single.
    Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

    Yep.
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
  • edited December 2011
    Ok, so yeah we've planned pretty much everything, have a date set etc etc, but my "fiance" doesn't want to make it official till he can ask me with a ring. That was his choice, not mine.  I personally don't care if he asks me without a ring, but I am respecting his choice.  We already refer to eachother as fiance.  

    I am seriously amazed at how some of you ladies just jump at the chance to attack fellow posters.  Just because some people dont do things the way you see fit, doesn't make them worse than you or anything like that.  Get off your high horses already.
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you Danie!KA
  • SKP82SKP82 member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:5f24e91c-914d-4137-86fd-97278b37b3bc">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, so yeah we've planned pretty much everything, have a date set etc etc, but my "fiance" doesn't want to make it official till he can ask me with a ring. That was his choice, not mine.  I personally don't care if he asks me without a ring, but I am respecting his choice.  We already refer to eachother as fiance.  <strong> I am seriously amazed at how some of you ladies just jump at the chance to attack fellow posters. </strong> Just because some people dont do things the way you see fit, doesn't make them worse than you or anything like that.  <strong>Get off your high horses already.
    </strong>Posted by KrustyTheCat[/QUOTE]

    Bahahaha.  Typical troll.  Are you going to tell us how mean we are next?
    IMG_6364
    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:5f24e91c-914d-4137-86fd-97278b37b3bc">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, so yeah we've planned pretty much everything, have a date set etc etc, but my "fiance" doesn't want to make it official till he can ask me with a ring. That was his choice, not mine.  I personally don't care if he asks me without a ring, but I am respecting his choice.  We already refer to eachother as fiance.
    Posted by KrustyTheCat[/QUOTE]

    I don't understand how doing everything that you are supposed to do when you are engaged is respecting his choice.  I'm really just curious has to why you needed to plan before he asked with the ring? Why couldn't you wait?


  • lmwilberlmwilber member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:5f24e91c-914d-4137-86fd-97278b37b3bc">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, so yeah we've planned pretty much everything, have a date set etc etc, but my "fiance" doesn't want to make it official till he can ask me with a ring. That was his choice, not mine.  I personally don't care if he asks me without a ring, but I am respecting his choice.  <strong>We already refer to eachother as fiance.  </strong> I am seriously amazed at how some of you ladies just jump at the chance to attack fellow posters.  Just because some people dont do things the way you see fit, doesn't make them worse than you or anything like that.  Get off your high horses already.
    Posted by KrustyTheCat[/QUOTE]

    <div>Why stop there? Why not refer to each other as Husband and Wife? Your just waiting on the wedding to make it official?</div><div>
    </div>
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  • edited December 2011
    because we made that decision together.  We know we're going to get married, and we had to pick a date so soon because my mom is watching the kids for us while we're on our honeymoon (she has to take time off of work)...so we just decided to book the big things.  We wanted to make sure we got to pick the vendors we wanted rather than rushing with little time to plan.  Little things will wait till the fall.  We have both venues, our caterer, photographer and DJ, and our officiant.
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feel-out-of-place-wedding-month-board?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:b38519d7-c12e-436b-b781-2c2ea9b19763Post:5f24e91c-914d-4137-86fd-97278b37b3bc">Re: I feel so out of place on my wedding month board</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, so yeah we've planned pretty much everything, have a date set etc etc, but my "fiance" doesn't want to make it official till he can ask me with a ring. That was his choice, not mine.  I personally don't care if he asks me without a ring, but I am respecting his choice.  We already refer to eachother as fiance.   I am seriously amazed at how some of you ladies just jump at the chance to attack fellow posters.  Just because some people dont do things the way you see fit, doesn't make them worse than you or anything like that.  Get off your high horses already.
    Posted by KrustyTheCat[/QUOTE]

    <p style="margin:0in 0in 10pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="line-height:115%;font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:#1f1f1f;font-size:9.5pt;">You have posted on here before, with the same story.  I am pretty sure you got the same advice. You have to both AGREE to be engaged to be engaged.  If you are already planning you should be engaged, if not you are costing your BF a whole lot of money.  If he wants to wait till the ring to consider you his FI, then wait.  Do not pass go, do not collect $250. Do not plan a wedding if you are not engaged.  It is that simple. </span></p>
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    It still doesn't make that much sense to me though. Why didn't you wait until you were engaged and pick a date that was far enough out that you could still do all of that?


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