patience is a virtue.... my foot!

Callypop

Well looks like I'm going to have to wait longer. My SO just moved into his first house last week. Which means the ring will be coming soon or so he says. He told me that when his income taxes come in so will a proposal. They came in all right and straight to his student loan. I'm a little bummed out. It wasn't his decision to put it to the loan it was just taken out.

Even though I have to wait for a ring. I'm relieved that the loan is finally paid off. It's just so hard to wait!

FreeSpirit666

Hi hi, life has a funny way of prioritizing things. Weddings are very expensive and having mountains of debt on top of everything else would be stressful. I think he was right to pay off the loan first so you can start your life together without the ledger in the red. I felt so good when i paid off my loan. He shouldn't of raised your hopes though. That wasn't right. But, now that it is paid off, I'm sure he'll be on bended knee soon lol

[Deleted User]

Hi Cally. I know it can be hard to be patient...especially when your guy is so openly thinking about marriage. My recommendation though - try to forget about it. If it's in the cards, an engagement will come in good time. Until then, enjoy your man. Enjoy being a young, carefree couple. This is a special time and if you spend your days obsessing about when he'll propose, you'll continually disappoint yourself and tarnish your great relationship.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_patience-is-a-virtue-my-foot?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:b6d4ec47-327f-4279-bf8d-25c80e6338d6Post:3a3f34e9-8246-4e2f-a2f5-2e667c3f28e0">patience is a virtue.... my foot!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well looks like I'm going to have to wait longer. My SO just moved into his first house last week. Which means the ring will be coming soon or so he says. He told me that when his income taxes come in so will a proposal. They came in all right and straight to his student loan. I'm a little bummed out.<strong> It wasn't his decision to put it to the loan it was just taken out.</strong> Even though I have to wait for a ring. I'm relieved that the loan is finally paid off. It's just so hard to wait!
Posted by Callypop[/QUOTE]

<div>Uh, if I were him, I would be talking to my bank and loan servicer, b/c I have quite a few student loans and I have NEVER had that happen. The only situation where something like that MIGHT happen is if a loan was in default. </div><div>
</div><div>Or, possibly, he's not telling you the whole truth. Just putting that out there.</div><div>
</div><div>Regardless, there is cause for concern, IMO, and I would be discussing it with him if he were my BF.</div><div>
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lennonkdc

Thread Jack- Desert OMG 13 days!!! I hope that you're not too uncomfortable...

/thread jack

OP I would check with BF on the student loan issue. If the return was 'just taken out' then he's in default on his loans, which can have serious credit ramifcations. You need to have an open discussion about finances with him ASAP. If you can't talk money with him, then you shouldn't be getting married.

As for the waiting- It sucks some times, I know. Just try to relax and enjoy what you have.

LilTexasGal

As PP have already pointed out to you, student loans don't just get "taken out" without prior approval. However, he might have an auto-pay set up, and in that case, he has full control over that - but he might have forgotten. You should have a talk with him and he should talk to the bank about it. Finances have never been an issue, communication wise, with FI and I because we've always been open. I am comfortable functioning this way, but I know that for some people, discussing financial problems with an SO can be very difficult, but sometimes they really do need to be discussed.

I foresee a lot of bills in his future. Paying off student loans was a great step but now he will be paying his mortgage, utility bills, property taxes, etc. He might be feeling the financial pressure, and might be a little hesitant to make a large purchase, like a ring can be, or to even take another huge life changing responsibility at the moment. I wouldn't worry about it yet, and I certainly wouldn't harrass him about it either. Just take a moment to breathe, things will work out and he will propose when he is ready.