Not Engaged Yet


Okay, So I know I'm MIA quite often, but there's been a lot going on so I figured I'd come and say Hi to everyone.

1) BF's mom's dad passed away last Sunday, so this week was filled with trying to work and get the family/house and all ready. The funeral was on Thursday. It was a stress-filled week. BF's grandpa wasn't a very nice person, and he had been sick for a while, so we knew this was coming - but it was hard for me to see BF's mom so upset. 

2) Work is insane. I've had issues after issues and I am really discouraged at this point. Monday one of my sales reps quit at 7am. Then one of my installers didn't show up, didn't call, he finally text me at noon. He came in the next day to talk, and we thought we had worked everything out. Well, then he calls me at 9am on Friday, and quits. He owes us 999.76, and he abandoned tools on our jobsite - so we have them set aside, locked up in inventory until he gives us our money. He came in on Saturday, I am not quite sure how he knew we were working, since that's not typical, but he raised a huge that was stressful too.

3) BF's dad's mom isn't doing well, and probably has anywhere from now - 2 months left. She's been bouncing between the nursing home and the hospital for dehydration for over a year now. We know she is getting ready to go, but I think it's going to be harder on BF than he realizes. He adores that lady. So it's hard knowing that's looming, especially with Turkey Day and Presents Day coming.

4) I've been fighting with my mom lately, and so for about a week now, my mom hasn't talked to me, and when I talked to my grandma (who i talk to once or twice a week) she was reaaaaally pissy with me. Which stems back to an interesting argument my mother and I had. My 19 year old sister called me on Tuesday 3 times in a row, knowing I was in class. First off, she never calls, let alone 3 times in a row. So I walk out of class, answer the phone and she is hysterically bawling. She is sicker than hell, and can't get a hold of my mother (who was asleep at 7pm). She didn't know what to do. I told her to stay where she was (She gets terrible reception) and I'd call her back in 5 minutes. I called my mom 3 times, and my stepdad 3 times. I called BF and asked him wtf i should do. He suggested calling GMA. So I did - 3 times... she finally picked up on te 4th time. I just starting explaining when my mom beeped in, I switched over and my mom asked me to go get my sister (an hr away). I was in class reviewing for a midterm in a class I'm not doing so hot in. I couldn't say no... you just don't say no to my mother. So i called BF to tell him I was leaving to drive an hr and get my sister, and he said no way in Fvck was I going. I needed to stay and take care of myself, i was stretched too thin and that my mother needed to go get her. He offered to call her and make her go. I agreed - I HAD to get back in to class, by this point I had missed 30min of class. Since then, I haven't heard from anyone in my family. BF was very nice to my mom, just explained that I was stretched too thin, and that SHE needed to go get HER kid, and that she needed to stop making excuses such as "you're closer". So I'm concerned about Holidays as my grand units are supposed to be coming up from TN, so my presence will be required.

5) BF and I looked at a house today. It's between where our apartment is right now, and BF's parents. So it's still close to everything, but away from everything at the same time. It's a 2400 sq feet house, including the basement. The outside is nice - we have to replace a little bit of glass in a few windows, but other than that - it's nice. The inside, needs some work. It's a short sale, so the bank has almost complete ownership. So it has been empty for a while -the previous owners had a couple dogs, so it smells doggy, stale, and just dirty. So it needs a deep cleaning of the carpets, air ducts, and the walls and such. The cabinets are nice, they just need to be sanded and painted and have new hardware put in. They took all the appliances, which sucks, but at the same time - is nice because then we can have the appliances we want. There are 3 bathrooms - 2 of which need to have the tubs ripped out and replaced (they are dirty). So there is some work that needs to be done, but I think *crosses fingers* BF and I are going to put an offer in. So I will keep you ladies updated! :)

So what is going on in your lives??

Re: Updates

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    edited December 2011
    Wow!!  You've had a lot going on.  I was wondering where you've been so I'm glad you're here with updates. 
    I'm really sorry about BF's grandfather.  It's ALWAYS hard to lose a family member (even if they weren't always the nicest person).  I know he appreciated you being there for him.  And, I'm sorry his grandmother (on the other side) isn't doing well.  My grandma, who I was very close with growing up, is going through something very similar. and even though she's old and frail, it's still difficult to watch her slip away.  The advice I was given, and that might be helpful to him now, is to make sure she knows how much she means, how much you love her, etc.  Because you can't say any of those things after your loved one is gone.  So, that's my 2 cents!

    Sounds like good things could be happening with the house!  Let us know how that goes.  We've been in our new place since July but with all of our travelling, and busy scedules, we still have things to unpack and put away.  Also, I really had to come to the realization that we can't buy EVERYTHING!!  I had a lot of grand ideas about new furniture and decorations, etc but have decided to work with what we have for now.  The only things we purchased were an entertainment console to go under the tv, a new duvet cover for our bedroom and a bed set for the guest bedroom (on sale at BB&B!). 

    So a brief update with me - besides the stuff mentioned above - we just got back from an amazing vacation in Kauai, I'm not working much this month which is simultaneouls horrible (not as much money coming in) and fantastic (I get to be home more), and I have my 2nd 10k coming up next week.  Super nervous about that since I slacked on my training while we were in Kauai.  I did a 4 mile run yesterday and almost puked at the end.  Ugh!! 

    That's about it - glad you're here!
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    jorja86jorja86 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Irish, I'm so sorry that your family is putting you through that shiit. I totally know what it's like to feel responsible for taking care of your siblings because your parents can't. It's really, really not fair. Thankfully my parents got their shiiit together, and I no longer feel that way, but I totally remember what it's like.

    I'm also really sorry to hear about your BF's grandparents. I know it's really hard.

    You're awesome for keeping it all together in the face of all this :)
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    IrishDreamerIrishDreamer member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    :) Meg, thanks! I'm trying to keep it all together, which means when I get home, I typically mindlessly veg on pinterest to shut my brain off lol.
    I lurk and read everyone's post on TK, but don't always have time to post. Meg, I'm friends with you on FB, right?? 

    Jorja, Yeaaaah. My mother is an effing peach. She is very self-centered, and always has been. I don't know if that will ever change. I adore my sister, and will always jump whenever she needs me - and she wasn't upset, she completely understood - she knows if I REALLY needed to go get her, I would've. The fact was I would've left exam review to drive an hour plus -when my mom was perfectly capable of going and getting her - it was more that she didn't want to.

    As for the house situation - in the short time frame between my posting and now - BF came home from the casino and decided that the dirty air issue - is more than he wants to deal with, and the best situation for us is to move into a townhouse and in 2 years, build our house. Which, I'm okay with - I'm just tired of him changing his mind all the time - but this seems to be the final here's to hoping!!
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: Updates</a>:
    [QUOTE]:) Meg, thanks! I'm trying to keep it all together, which means when I get home, I typically mindlessly veg on pinterest to shut my brain off lol. I lurk and read everyone's post on TK, but don't always have time to post. Meg, <strong>I'm friends with you on FB, right??</strong>
    Posted by IrishDreamer[/QUOTE]

    I don't think so.  Standby for a PM . . .
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    ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    Oh Irish that is so tough *hugs*   I am sorry about your BF's grandparents, it is so hard even if they aren't awesome people.

    I am so glad that BF stood up for you though, you don't need to let your mom push you around just because she doesn't "feel like it"   Gah sorry, your mom makes me mad. :/

    Good luck on whatever you end up doing!  I know you just want to pick something. :)


    My life has been crazy.  Thursday I got dog sick and I am even worse today :(  However, Friday we were in the city and we found our venue!  I am so excited and relieved!  Now I can plan the rest of the wedding.  :/  We are a little under 7 months!  Wow!  Other than that I am home doing homework while FI is out at a study group :/  I have to stay home because I am sick and I am not happy lol.  I am also ridiculously excited that youtube has hair tutorials online, I hope I can finally do cool stuff with my hair!  This next week is hell for me in school I have two tests and a paper due at the start of this next coming week so I am trying to be super on top of everything and failing miserably :( 

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

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    IrishDreamerIrishDreamer member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    I'm sorry you're sick, love :( *hugs* But YAY!!! *happy dance* for finding the venue!! :) 
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    csousa1csousa1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry things are so crazy and turbulent for you Irish! I hope that things settle down and that the holidays are not the doom you are envisioning....

    May I just say that I love your BF for calling your mom and telling her all that? I am terribly impressed with him. Some of what you have shared about your mom reminds me of my BFF's mom (read: cripplingly selfish), and I totally fist pump for anyone who stands up to mothers like that on their loved ones' behalf. I hope it doesn't have too much fallout though - that would be sucky for you.

    Sending vibes and hugs to you for everything!!
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