Bridesmaid Questions for Friday

Hazel_B

We are in the midst of thinking about our WP and it has made me reflect on my own experiences in other people's weddings, particularly about thanking the WP. I'm curious to see if people do things differently in other places and if there are other unique ideas out there.

Without further ado:

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?

6. Other thoughts...

[Deleted User]

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?
I've been in several weddings (6 or 7 as a bridesmaid at least) and I've only received a gift at 2.  One was a purple clutch that I've yet to carry (but I plan to) and the other was a colorful plastic box that you can keep stuff in and some gold flip flops from GAP.  I guess the best one was the gold flip flops from GAP.

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
I don't think I've received a "worst" one.

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours
I am making a hair flower for the girls to wear in their hair but it isn't going to be their gift...  I've never really honestly thought much about it.  I don't think BM gifts and etiquette are a huge thing where I come from or in my circle (most weddings I've been in we don't receive anything at all and I never thought much about it until TK told me otherwise).

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?
It doesn't matter, whichever works best.  I plan on personalizing mine to an extent.  As of now, I plan on getting them a bottle of their favorite lotion or spray from B&BW, a lip gloss from B&BW, and comfy house slippers. 

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
I'll have to think about it!

6. Other thoughts...
Now I'm worried my BM gifts are lame! And, we can't come up with anything good for the GM.  We are still working on that.

KatyRoseM

1 and 2. I don't know, I've only gotten one so I suppose it is both best and worst (unless inherently not getting one is worse).  It was a Lord of the Rings Risk game from my sister.  It was nice that she was thanking me, but something about the way she presented the gifts was weird.  I'm not sure what it was.  So I loved the gift, I was not such a fan of the presentation of gifts, it felt weird.  Maybe its just that I don't really like getting gifts with a speech about why?

The times I didn't get a gift it never actually occurred to me I was supposed to. 

3. I have no problem with gifts that you wear in the wedding, if its something they would generally like.  I also like the idea of the dress as a gift, yes you picked it out, but your basically giving them the money and making it easy to be in your wedding party, it seems to clearly say you are what is important here. 

4. It doesn't matter to me, if they all would like it.

5. I don't know

Beads921

I'm going to skip questions 1 and 2 since I've never been a bridesmaid, and also never received a thank you gift (or a thank you...) for being in a wedding. If you're going to have people other than the WP do readings, usher, hang-out with the guest book, etc., please at the very least say thank-you. Some brides give these people gifts as well, which would have been a nice touch but not expected.

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours 

It can be nice, as long as it's not the only gift and/or it's something the ladies will actually like and have use for again. 

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs? 

I like the idea of personalizing, but if it is something to be used during the wedding, that could be a bit tough. Again, I think the most important part is that the BMs will actually like/have use for the item. If all of them would love the same necklace, that also could be worn in the wedding, I see no issue with it.

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of? 

Hmm...I don't know! The worst I've seen (and I know there could be worse than this) was a less-than-ordinary necklace from Claire's, that was also expected to worn for the wedding.

DanieKA

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?
although I think matchy, matchy sets of jewelry are kind of lame (I'll explain more under #3) my fav BM gift just happened to be a necklace from a good friend to wear with the dress for her wedding. It came w/earrings, which I don't care for, but generally she has excellent taste and this small charm is wonderful. I wear it all the time.

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
A cheap, monogrammed tote bag. It could be because I have a million tote bags already (every time I order something online, it tends to come with a bag nowadays. Especially at Victoria Secret). The quality wasn't great and the zipper tends to separate at the slightest pull. 

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours.
I think if you are really concerned with everyone looking like a carbon copy of one another then that's fine. I would and have graciously accepted matching sets of jewelry from friends to wear during their weddings. It's their day, their pictures. I'm more than happy to comply. Having said that, these are more often than not my least favorite gifts. There's really no thought about the specific woman and a genuine thanks for participating in these kinds of gifts. It's more of, "what matches the dress that I like and picked." Sure they get to keep it after, but it's more about matching the overall look you picked moreso than thanking the person who stands up there with you. I know this is a popular gift now and this may be an unpopular opinion, but the jewelry sets just don't do it for me, personally.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs? Depends. I do think you can do all the same thing and have it be nice for everyone. Depending on cost, buying the dress for everyone would be a great gift. That's personally never happened to me, but BF was just in his best friend's wedding and the groom picked up the cost of the suits for his groomsmen. Um...AWESOME! Or maybe pay for Make-up and or hair. I had a girlfriend (ironically the one that gave me my favorite gift/the necklace) give us a gift card to the salon we went to the morning of her wedding. We could use it towards hair and/or makeup. That was a nice cost cushion. Smaller, personalized gifts-to me-will always trump the convenience of buying 5 or 6 of the same thing. Maybe 3 or 4 of them will love it. But what about the others? 

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
Spa gift certificates and gift cards to nice restaurant groups so the BMs can pamper themselves or go out for a nice dinner have always been great. Again, I've never personally experienced someone paying for my dress as a thank you, I don't live in Platinum Wedding land, but that would be amazing.  

6. Other thoughts...
This whole topic gives me anxiety. In the end I'd rather have something handmade and personal rather than something generic and meaningless.  

Hazel_B

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?

I've been in 4 weddings, I've received 2 purses, jewelery and I guess you'd call it a BMs survival kit. I'd have to go with the survival kit as my favourite because it is the only thing that I've used since. The one clutch was clearly intended for me to use again, but due to the colours I haven't.

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?

I wouldn't say any of the gifts were awful, but I know they spent good money on the gifts and I've never used most of them again.

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours

I don't really consider things that contribute to the "look" that the bride wants to be a gift. When I was a student it didn't bother me, but for some reason it has started to.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?

I've never really been part of a wedding where the BMs gift was really personalized. I think I'd like to do this myself because the people I'm considering for BMs are so different that I'd feel guilty not making that effort, but I don't know what I'll do yet.

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?

To be honest, I have no idea. I just see crazy things on the internet and think "really? that is a BMs gift?" For example, one of my wedding magazines mentioned giving a camcorder and somewhere on the wedding bee a bride gave a designer clutch of some sort.

6. Other thoughts... 
I'm on a tighter budget, so I want my BMs to like their gift, but have no idea where to start thinking.

AbigailMS

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM? 
I've only been in one wedding as a bridesmaid. We got B&BW lotion, body wash, and body spray in a cute little overnight bag she got from somewhere else. I still use mine. The scent was amazing and they only had it for a short amount of time. 

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
I don't think I've received a "worst" one.

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours 
We were bought earrings for the wedding I was in. I didn't understand it to be a BM gift, though we did keep them and I wouldn't have been offended if they were.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs? 
I think you can do both. We all got the same thing in general, but the scents were all different and the patterns on the bags were all unique. 

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
Idk...I don't often talk about other peoples BM gifts?

6. Other thoughts...
I think what matters most is that your bridesmaid feels appreciated. It doesn't have to be something super expensive. I still really love that B&BW stuff, and overtime I put it on I think of the wedding.

I've had quite a few people stay over and after taking a shower ask me where I've gotten it. I get to tell them that my sister got it for me as a gift for being her MOH.

heyimbren

This is my first time being a BM, so I haven't actually received any BM gifts before. I'd actually never heard of that until I started posting on TK.

I don't think gifts have to be all the same or all personalized, because I do like the ones that share a common theme. Like how Angie did the necklaces for her bridesmaids, I thought that was really sweet!

As long as the bridesmaids will like the gift, I think that's what really matters. If they genuinely like personalized tote bags, then that's awesome.

The only gift I don't like is paying for hair/makeup. I can do my own makeup better than most professional makeup that I pay for, so I don't appreciate having that done for me. And I'm picky about hair stylists, so I wouldn't like it if my gift was that someone paid for someone else to style my hair in a way the bride chose for her wedding day.

[Deleted User]

In Response to Bridesmaid Questions for Friday:
1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?
Gift certificate for a massage.

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
I've only been a BM once, so I guess there has been no "worst" gift.

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours
I don't feel that wedding attire or accessories are a "gift". They are something you picked for your event - not for the BM personally.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?
I think you can go either way...just be sure that the gift is fitting for everyone if you do the same for everyone.

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
I love being pampered, so anything along those lines: massages, facials, pedicures, manicures...

Cackle6

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?

A champagne flute with my name on it.

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
I haven't had any bad ones, but I'm also not a fan of paying for the hair and makeup as being a gift, as I'm able to do both. Paying for a mani/pedi the day before would be a nice idea though. 

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours
I've gotten jewelry for two of the weddings I've been in, and I've worn them both since. The one wedding it was the only gift, and the other wedding she also gave us some lotion and pretty smelling stuff. Either way, I was fine with it. They both had very low budget weddings, picked out very reasonably priced BM dresses, and I was more than happy with the gifts.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?

I think either way is fine, as long as if you get the same gift it's something everyone will use. I know that I'd really like to do personalized gifts, and because I know it will take some time to pick them out I've already started a list of possible things so that by the time I get to it I'll have the perfect ones picked out, heh.

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?

I really like the flasks that have the girls names on them. They come in so many different styles and colors. I know for two of my girls I want to get those because I know they would love them and actually use them again. 

Sparrow87

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?
Of the 2 successful weddings that I've been in (and a 3rd didn't make it to the alter) I received jewelry for the wedding, but it's gorgeous and I've worn both necklaces multiple times since.  (I returned the bracelet from the unsuccessful wedding to the bride)

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
I havn't gotten any bad gifts. 

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours
As long as their versatile that's fine, I got to wear little black dresses in both weddings that were provided to me and I've worn them multiple times since then as well. 

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?
If it's thoughtful and useful, it shouldn't matter. 

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
Those massage certificates sound like heaven right now! 

Blue & White

I'm in my first wedding next week, so I obviously haven't "been" a bridesmaid yet, but here are my thoughts...

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?  No idea

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?  I hate hate hate that all BF gets as a groomsman is alcoholic paraphenalia.  Nope, he doesn't need a flask for your wedding.  It's also really rude when you're absolutely plastered when we leave and you barely say thank you to us for coming.  It's obviously a bit of a sore spot for me

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours  I'd be pretty annoyed if this was all I got, I guess.  I probably won't ever use it again.  Although I am getting flip flops to change into at this wedding, and I know they'll be worth it cause my shoes are ridiculously high.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?  I never have heard of personalized gifts until the Knot, but since I'm not a super girly girl, I have approximately no use for most typical bridesmaid gifts, except maybe a frame. 

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?  I don't know that I've ever heard of an amazing one...

6. Other thoughts...Not really, but I would hate a massage certificate.  And would probably pass it along to my sister.

Wrkn925

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?
A shirt that says 'Just Call me Cupid'.  (DON'T JUDGE ME!) I introduced my Mom's sister to my Dad's brother at my sister's wedding. ( My parents are divorced) They got married, I was a BM.  I know this goes with the KY stereotype, but the couple that married are not related. I am just a relative of both of them.

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
Nothing from my sister besides 7 years of her complaining about the dress I picked out for her barefoot and pregnant shotgun wedding  that was planned in a month. I was 15 and did the best I could.

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours
That's not a gift, that's a uniform.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?
Unless you are really good at finding something that ALL of them would like.

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
Hmm... spa days?

6. Other thoughts...
I'm cranky.

tuarceatha

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?
A cute clutch to go with the bridesmaids' dresses.

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
I didn't like either bracelet I received. I think it is really hard to pick out jewelry for other people. And it sucks to be given something you will never wear, as thoughtful as the gesture might be...

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours
I like these because it is sometimes hard to locate the right accessories for the unique bridesmaids' dresses, but also hard for them to pick out something you might actually use/wear later.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?
Good question. I don't know about 'should,' but I liked receiving my personalized gift at the last wedding I was in.

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
I don't think I have heard of any really great ideas. I'm sorry.

6. Other thoughts...
I think it really depends on your wedding party. I was one of 10 once, and we all got the same thing and it worked. And one of three where we got a little of everything, one personalized gift, one clutch, and one piece of jewelry to wear that day. I can't imagine my sister and bff liking one thing the same, because they are so different... BUT I don't have to think about that now.

Best of luck deciding!

leia1979

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?
Necklace with a three-pearl pendant.

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
I've only been a BM once, so see above, but FI got kind of a lame bag o' stuff as a groomsman.

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours
I had no idea that this was considered a "bad" thing before TK. I didn't expect a gift at all. Jewelry (unless I hate it) seems like a fine gift to me.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?
I would prefer to personalize, since they are different people with different tastes.

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
Dunno.

6. Other thoughts...
My friend was a BM for another friend, and her BM gift was earrings. She doesn't have pierced ears. I thought that was uncool. I'm thinking of getting my BMs birthstone necklaces that they can wear whenever (if they want to wear it at the wedding, cool, and if not, that's okay too).

thejessy

1. What is the best thank you gift you've received as a BM?
My sister decopaged (sp?) boxes for each of her bms. Mine was heartshaped with ocean stuff and Ariel!  And then inside was a little trinket, mine was a laser cut mermaid ornament (I love mermaids, can you tell?)

2. What is the worst thank you gift you've received as a BM?
Nada. Although my sister-in-law gave me a little wolf figurine clock - I love wolves but don't care much for clocks. It was very thoughful though.

3. What do you think of BM gifts that are to be used during the wedding? ie jewelery that matchs other BMs or other accessories in the wedding colours
it depends, really. I love jewelry and hair accessories so I could probably use them again. My bff gave her WP heart necklaces and earrings that I helped pick out (she was low on cash so they were costume jewelry) but there are a lot of women who don't have the same tastes.

4. Should BMs gifts be personalized or the same for all BMs?
I prefer personalized gifts, unless I know the bride has similar taste to mine :P

5. What is the best BMs gift you've ever heard of?
I really loved my sister's personalized trinket boxes. She really tailored to her WP and you can always find a use for a cute box.

6. Other thoughts...

If you're crafty, make something! It's usually cheaper and something handmade is always appreciated. Plus it can be fun and relaxing thing for you to do during all your stressful planning.