Proposal next month!?!

ktprieto

So I found out my boyfriend is proposing next month! It kinda stinks that I found out (I love being surprised!) but I'm so excited and ready for this to happen! 

We've been dating for 6 years and I've always guessed the gifts he's given me. Not because I try, I'd rather not! But he gets SO excited and proud of himself when he gives me things that I can't NOT get an idea of what it is.

So because of our history with this, I KNOW he is going to ask me after the proposal if I knew it was going to happen. My question is this: Should I lie and let him think he surprised me? He would be so happy if he thought I didn't know anything... Or is a lie a lie and I should admit that I knew? I know he'd be disappointed and I don't want to spoil the night...

It really wouldn't be that big of a deal, the experience will be amazing for both of us no matter what, but I'm so nervous! What do you think?

jeanacorina

I think you should just say you had an idea it was coming, but you didn't know when. So, he still surprised you!

(That's what I told mine)

And, really, he might actually surprise you. It could be tomorrow.

jeanacorina

.... or next year.....

ktprieto

Haha, no, i could tell you the exact date, where it's happening, what he has planned before and after, etc. etc. 

But that's probably what I'm going to end up doing, let him know I had suspicions, but wasn't sure or something

bajediva

If I ever truly did know every single details as you're suggesting you do, I feel like I would probably get a friend to 'accidentally' let him know that I know, to give him the option of changing any or all of the original plan. I tend to hate surprises, but if I knew that was what he was going for, I'd try to give him an indirect heads up that it was already spoiled.

amagwire

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_proposal-next-month?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba1eb902-0faa-4740-92c2-3d14f37495c5Post:c08b7339-0100-4c19-b3dc-b70715f0bb98">Re: Proposal next month!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha, no, i could tell you the exact date, where it's happening, what he has planned before and after, etc. etc.  But that's probably what I'm going to end up doing, let him know I had suspicions, but wasn't sure or something
Posted by ktprieto[/QUOTE]

<div>How the heck do you know all this information? I can see suspecting a proposal is coming, but you know all the details.  Curious...</div>

MidniteRae

How do you know the exact details? I guess that sucks for you because you like to be surprised. I guess all I can really say is try not to think about it and maybe you will forget(ok or maybe not)and maybe it will still end up being a surprise.

katanne9

I "knew" the 2 week span FI would likely be proposing in, but I was still surprised. Push it out of your mind and you can still let yourself be surprised. But you really must forget about it.

And I wouldn't be specific with how much you knew beforehand. You can tell him later down the road.

KD+BC

I feel as though a little white lie is appropriate here. Let him think he surprised you.

I'm curious though, how do you know all this?

desertsun

Personally, I did NOT want to know details. I wanted to be surprised.

When you know details ahead of time, I feel like you will naturally build it up in your head and have expectations, and they're bound to not match reality in some way. Thus, there is a possibility of disappointment.

I think a surprise is way better.

I'd do as baje suggests and try to let him know his plan was discovered.

I'm also curious how you know.

sgervais88

I agree with PPs about letting him indirectly know that you know. How DO you know all the details? My FI is like your boyfriend. He is awful at surprises and can never manage to surprise me. Our engagement was the biggest surprise ever. Sigh. I still don't know how he did it.

But if I had known, I would have found some way to let him know, because I know surprising me meant a lot to him.

ktprieto

Lol, I guess since so many people are wondering how I know all the details I'll go through it all (sorry, it's going to be long!) Like I said, I don't try! I just put things together, and like I'm sure all of you know your significant others, I just KNOW him... sometimes I feel like I can read his mind...

1. About a month ago I confided in his best friend/our mutual friend that I felt like it was never going to happen. He smugly laughed and said "don't worry about it" Uh... real smooth dude... you do know I'm a girl and read into everything right?!? Lol!

2. Back in november he asked me what type of e-ring I would like, so I gave him a few pictures. He just stuck it in his nightstand for months and it never moved. Our things are kind of mingled in there so I've been in and out of the drawer a few times, noticing he never did anything with the pictures. Then one day when he was "out running errands" I went to get something and noticed it was gone. A few days later I found the pictures all folded up on the backseat of his car like he had taken it somewhere with him ... So I know he had at least been looking at rings.

3. He has been working crazy extra hours to save money the past few months (for a ring??).

4. Our 6 year anniversary is April 15th, and we are having dinner at our favorite restaurant, the Melting Pot (YUM!) He has mentioned in passing that it would be a cool place for us to get engaged (back before it was being really considered) because its our favorite and really romantic and fun. I just know this is where he is going to do it...

He also mentioned he wanted to go to the French Quarter before dinner (we live in New Orleans) and take a horse and buggy ride with me because it would be very romantic. He's never really been interested in it but knows I LOVE that kind of stuff. AND I came home the other day and he told me he got us a room in the quarter for after dinner for us to spend together... He actually really doesnt like staying in hotels because he doesnt sleep well, but again, knows that I love staying out on little trips and stuff. So he's making a real effort to make the day special for me

And the kicker... 

I mentioned to my best friend that I had a feeling he might propose to me on our anniversary next month, her face went cold, and she said "I'm not supposed to say anything about that"

Some or all of these things might seem silly to you all, but like I said, I just know him! 

I'm really really not setting any expectations for the night. This might all sound like I'm already writing up invitations, but I am going to enjoy the night and love him just the same if it doesnt happen! I'm not going to let myself get disappointed, he will do it when the time is right and whether I guessed it or not the night will be special for both of us

So, conclusion, I guess if he asks me if I knew I'll tell him it had crossed my mind but that's it, I'm sure we'll both be too wrapped up in the fact that we're getting married to care anyways! Thanks for listening everyone, if you got through all of that!

desertsun

In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_proposal-next-month?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba1eb902-0faa-4740-92c2-3d14f37495c5Post:dc9c1285-921d-479f-b3f5-64808dd7dfcb">Proposal next month!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]So <strong>I found out my boyfriend is proposing next month!</strong> It kinda stinks that I found out (I love being surprised!) but I'm so excited and ready for this to happen!  We've been dating for 6 years and I've always guessed the gifts he's given me. Not because I try, I'd rather not! But he gets SO excited and proud of himself when he gives me things that I can't NOT get an idea of what it is. So because of our history with this, I KNOW he is going to ask me after the proposal if I knew it was going to happen. My question is this: Should I lie and let him think he surprised me? He would be so happy if he thought I didn't know anything... Or is a lie a lie and I should admit that I knew? I know he'd be disappointed and I don't want to spoil the night... It really wouldn't be that big of a deal, the experience will be amazing for both of us no matter what, but I'm so nervous! What do you think?<div>
Posted by ktprieto[/QUOTE]In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_proposal-next-month?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ba1eb902-0faa-4740-92c2-3d14f37495c5Post:4d914198-350c-491a-b8e2-006a5751a920">Re: Proposal next month!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Lol, I guess since so many people are wondering how I know all the details I'll go through it all (sorry, it's going to be long!) Like I said, I don't try! I just put things together, and like I'm sure all of you know your significant others, I just KNOW him... sometimes I feel like I can read his mind... 1. About a month ago I confided in his best friend/our mutual friend that I felt like it was never going to happen. He smugly laughed and said "don't worry about it" Uh... real smooth dude... you do know I'm a girl and read into everything right?!? Lol! 2. Back in november he asked me what type of e-ring I would like, so I gave him a few pictures. He just stuck it in his nightstand for months and it never moved. Our things are kind of mingled in there so I've been in and out of the drawer a few times, noticing he never did anything with the pictures. Then one day when he was "out running errands" I went to get something and noticed it was gone. A few days later I found the pictures all folded up on the backseat of his car like he had taken it somewhere with him ... So I know he had at least been looking at rings. 3. He has been working crazy extra hours to save money the past few months (for a ring??). 4. Our 6 year anniversary is April 15th, and we are having dinner at our favorite restaurant, the Melting Pot (YUM!) He has mentioned in passing that it would be a cool place for us to get engaged (back before it was being really considered) because its our favorite and really romantic and fun. I just know this is where he is going to do it... He also mentioned he wanted to go to the French Quarter before dinner (we live in New Orleans) and take a horse and buggy ride with me because it would be very romantic. He's never really been interested in it but knows I LOVE that kind of stuff. AND I came home the other day and he told me he got us a room in the quarter for after dinner for us to spend together... He actually really doesnt like staying in hotels because he doesnt sleep well, but again, knows that I love staying out on little trips and stuff. So he's making a real effort to make the day special for me =) And the kicker...  I mentioned to my best friend that I had a feeling he might propose to me on our anniversary next month, her face went cold, and she said "I'm not supposed to say anything about that" Some or all of these things might seem silly to you all, but like I said, I just know him!  <strong>I'm really really not setting any expectations for the night.</strong> This might all sound like I'm already writing up invitations, but I am going to enjoy the night and love him just the same if it doesnt happen! I'm not going to let myself get disappointed, he will do it when the time is right and whether I guessed it or not the night will be special for both of us :) So, conclusion, <strong>I guess if he asks me if I knew I'll tell him it had crossed my mind</strong> but that's it, I'm sure we'll both be too wrapped up in the fact that we're getting married to care anyways! Thanks for listening everyone, if you got through all of that!
Posted by ktprieto[/QUOTE]</div><div>
</div><div>Yeah, see, you already have your response planned out. And you started out your thread saying you found out he's proposing.</div><div>
</div><div>It sounds to me like you DO have expectations.</div><div>
</div><div>My FI asked for my ring size and proposed 3 days later. But I did not assume that b/c he asked for my size, it meant a proposal was imminent. </div><div>
</div><div>So when he did propose, at home, with a simple statement about his love for me, it meant more to me than any elaborate plan or speech could have, b/c I know it came directly from his heart, without the pressure of a planned moment. It was completely honest and genuine, and completely unexpected. Nothing could be better than that.</div><div>
</div><div>Just wanted to share my perspective, b/c I think all too often, people attach importance to a PLAN or to the "stuff" that happens around a proposal and that's not what really matters. </div><div>
</div><div>If you have the right mindset, HOW the proposal happens ceases to be your focus, and therefore you are not disappointed or so wrapped up in your own emotions about HOW and can focus instead on the PERSON who makes you happy. I just think it makes for a better experience. If that makes sense. Hope it helps. :)</div><div>
</div>

trishandbrad

My boyfriend and I are in a play together and during auditions I mentioned to a friend I would love if he proposed on opening night... well he and I  got into a 'discussion' and he revealed he had been planning to propose after the last show. So yeah who knew the bf and I knew eachother so well... lol
CONGRATULATIONS and I hope it is perfect for you both!

[Deleted User]

I kind of feel bad for you because I would just hate it if I knew the exact timing of my proposal.  A few weeks before mine I had a "feeling" that he had bought the ring, but I have to say I was COMPLETELY suprised when he proposed and it wasn't some big elaborate plan at all.  I was in my spiderman pajama pants and a white tank top in bed when he proposed to me and it was the most amazing moment of my life!  So, I guess just sit back and try not to think too much about it.. I guess I really don't have any other advice.

jeanacorina

Okay, well, he could STILL surprise you.

My FI planned a weekend in New Orleans (go figure!) for my birthday. We were going to go walk around the French Quarter, take some tours, go to the Aquarium, all that stuff.

He bought the ring the week before with every intention of proposing in New Orleans (and I really suspected he would! Ask the girls around here! I even said I thought he would). But once it was in his possession, he just couldn't wait. He proposed to me the morning after he bought the ring, with a love letter he wrote on the back of scrap paper that night because he was too excited to sleep.

I knew he had the ring, and I knew he was planning to propose on our romantic weekend in New Orleans.... but he still surprised me.

So, there. You don't really know that much. People are unpredicatble creatures! Let him try to surprise you, and just do your best not to think about it between now and then.