Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This?

bsidebella

I got a very nice handwritten thank you note from a shopper today! A shopper in Colorado was going to Florida with her husband, who was going for a business trip. While he was in meetings and doing business-y stuff, she went and did about 5 shops for me in some really tough areas of Florida.

To show her appreciation, she wrote me a very nice thank you note and sent me a bag of Cuban coffee that she'd purchased in Key West.

Here's why I'm mad.

Firstly, the thank you note was tossed (literally tossed, like it was a memo or garbage) on my desk by our president/CEO, "R". It was creased, like he'd been carrying it around for awhile. He said, "You're really killing me here", or something like it. I said, "Huh? Am I in trouble?" I read the note and it was very nice. What did I do wrong?

Apparently, this package showed up at our NY office. It had the thank you note and the bag of coffee in it. R didn't bring in the coffee because apparently it was a huge bag and he "didn't feel like" bringing it to NJ from NY (for the record, he drives between the two offices, he doesn't take public transit). But he brought me the card. Which was creased and bent.

When I saw she had sent me coffee, I was excited! I love coffee! I said to R, "So, when do I get my coffee?"

He raised an eyebrow, smirked at me and said, "It's not that special. It's [a brand I've never heard of]. I could go to A&P and buy it right now." Then he walked away.

For some reason, I am infuriated by this. I did good work, the shopper was obviously pleased and enjoyed what she did, and she showed me her gratitude by sending me a present. And R won't even let me have it. I'm insulted and bothered and I feel like I shouldn't be but I am. I don't care if you can buy it at A&P right now, it was a gift and I want it.

For all I know he kept the damn coffee for himself.

Do I have a right to be mad about this?

lunarsongbird

Are you allowed to accept gifts?

The guy just sounds like a prick.

Elle1036

I would be irritated.  Keep asking him about it.

Blue & White

I vote yes.

Yep, that's all I have to say.  That situation is ridiculous.  I'd be mad too!

jemmini6

Hell yeah I'd be mad about it.  Even without the gift, I'd just be pissed that my boss seemed so upset about me doing a good job.  WTF.

elannis

I'd have been upset too. He probably did keep the coffee for himself. That's just rude even if it was just regular old coffee.

Swazzle

Geez what an assshole.  I would be pissed too.

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_right-mad-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:beac4916-fdde-476d-87a1-98b0622a7b43Post:38782954-057b-4134-8ab5-931bb3306ac0">Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This?</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you allowed to accept gifts? The guy just sounds like a prick.
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

I honestly don't know if we're allowed to accept gifts, but I don't see any reason why not. It's not like it's an incentive or anything. It was a "thanks for keeping me busy!" gift.

He is a prick. Barely anyone here likes him and he always makes things a much bigger deal than they are.

He fired someone the other day and wanted him (the firee) to come out into the main office and announce that he was being fired. The guy didn't do it, obviously, but how do you even suggest something like that?!

doubleSS07

ewwww I'd be pissed too!!!  That's just immature especially from the PRESIDENT of the company.  If he had a problem with you accepting a gift he should have said so instead of throwing it in your face that you received something and he not only can't be bothered but seems like he won't bring it to you.  Can you just go to the other office and pick it up yourself?  ewwww again!!  what a stinker!

lunarsongbird

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_right-mad-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:beac4916-fdde-476d-87a1-98b0622a7b43Post:308e69bb-ba99-4019-8882-58c61850d556">Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This? : I honestly don't know if we're allowed to accept gifts, but I don't see any reason why not. It's not like it's an incentive or anything. It was a "thanks for keeping me busy!" gift. He is a prick. Barely anyone here likes him and he always makes things a much bigger deal than they are. He fired someone the other day and wanted him (the firee) to come out into the main office and announce that he was being fired. The guy didn't do it, obviously, but how do you even suggest something like that?!
Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]

Uuuh....We need to find you a new job....

peekaboo2011

Ditto Lunar - you need a new job.

And yes.  I'd be pissed.  Send him an email about it.  Once a day.

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_right-mad-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:beac4916-fdde-476d-87a1-98b0622a7b43Post:51465b09-016c-4637-b07a-3bb42982a75a">Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This? : Uuuh....We need to find you a new job....
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

It took me 8 months to find this one! If y'all can find me another one that pays as much as this one does, I'll take it LOL The honeymoon phase is over.

dwest2201

Umm yeah, I'd be pissed and I don't even drink coffee. 

1) He should be recognizing your outstanding service which prompted the customer to send a card and gift.

2) If you are allowed gifts it should have been given to you, or at the very least brought to the office that you work in and shared with that office.

3) Even if you aren't allowed to receive gifts he shouldn't be an A-hole about it.

If I were you I would definitely confront him and ask if there was a problem with the card/gift being sent for a job well done.  Also I'd ask if there was a no gift policy, if not then I would request that he bring you to the coffee so that you can try it and properly thank the sender by stating that you enjoyed it, as you are not a liar and do not want to say thanks, but the boss only passed along the card. 

I'm sorry your boss in an A-hole!  

SopChick

Your boss sounds like a complete a-hole. You did a great job in having this woman do 5 tough shops while she was away with her husband. You absolutely deserve the gift she sent you as well as praise from your boss! I'm sorry you have such a sh!tty boss.

The thing about the firing is completely uncalled for. Does anyone know whether that former employee would have a case to file something with HR? That sounds like it has to violate something.

bsidebella

By the way, this is the same guy who has a problem with me "being on the phone too much."

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_right-mad-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:beac4916-fdde-476d-87a1-98b0622a7b43Post:8159a2ae-2bb8-442f-b821-c847517fc9bb">Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This?</a>:
[QUOTE]By the way, this is the same guy who has a problem with me "being on the phone too much."
Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]

<div>bahahaha.  Scratch the email idea.  Call him.  Every day.  5x a day.  Until he gives you your coffee.</div>

cu97tiger

Some people suck. That guy is definitely one of them.

Ollie08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_right-mad-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:beac4916-fdde-476d-87a1-98b0622a7b43Post:1b8b1bd1-be83-49b0-8007-5c3ab42a8601">Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This? : bahahaha.  Scratch the email idea.  Call him.  Every day.  5x a day.  Until he gives you your coffee.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

lmao this. He sounds like a douche

Hazel_B

I think he's definitely being a jerk.

However, if there is some sort of rule at work about gifts and such then he's also handling that wrong. I know I can't accept ANYTHING from outsiders. I can accept a cup of coffee if we are in a meeting working, but if I ran into them on the street and they offered to buy me a coffee I have to say no. it is the perception of bias.

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_right-mad-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:beac4916-fdde-476d-87a1-98b0622a7b43Post:7893c10d-22b3-4da9-aab0-e003ec96ae1c">Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think he's definitely being a jerk. However, if there is some sort of rule at work about gifts and such then he's also handling that wrong. I know I can't accept ANYTHING from outsiders. I can accept a cup of coffee if we are in a meeting working, but if I ran into them on the street and they offered to buy me a coffee I have to say no. it is the perception of bias.
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]



This, even if you weren't allowed gifts, he could have done things differently. I' think your being pissed is completely justified. He sounds like a grade A ass.

GreenPepperBurger

What a jackass. I would look for a new job. 

PaigeMcC

He sounds like a douche.  Eff him.

And I will send you Cuban coffee any time...to your house...so that jackass can't take it  

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_right-mad-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:beac4916-fdde-476d-87a1-98b0622a7b43Post:511f646f-fde0-426d-a46b-fe0a88630394">Re: Do I Have a Right To Be Mad About This?</a>:
[QUOTE]What a jackass. I would look for a new job. 
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

I've been on it. I mean, like I said, it took me 8 months to find this one, but I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to last here. The pressure to perform is immense.

Also, Paige - d'aww thanks much. I might take you up on it. I'm pretty sure Cuban coffee from Canada tastes much better anyway ^_^

kellyt89

Ew that's really immature and unnecessarily mean. I hope you can find another job where you're happier and can enjoy what you can about this job until then.

I don't even like coffee and I'd still be really pissed...

desertsun

I would speak to your boss's supervisor, or to HR.

His behavior is completely unprofessional, inappropriate, and unacceptable.

Any responsible company would be trying to get rid of him.

I hope you are continuing to look for work. I would not be able to endure that kind of work environment very long. 

Sorry, B.

kaitlynmichelle

What a jerk.  Even if you had a no present policy, he should mention that instead of just passing it off like its a worthless gift.  He should be noting the fact that you did a good job.

I would also bug him about it, just let him know that as it was a gift for you that you expect him to return it so you can thank the customer.  

I can't believe he would actually expect someone to announce they are getting fired.  I don't understand why someone would do that, unless they really are just an ass.