So me and my boyfriend dated all through High School. We have were inseparable since we met at 13 years old. First as friends, then as we got older we started dating. We practically grew up together. We are very very different but in high school it never mattered. I am very outgoing, social and motivated. He is quiet and introverted, a little socially awkward even, but handsome, athletic, and sweet as can be. Everyone always new we would end up together and don't get me wrong, I love him soooo much! But things are getting real now.
When we graduated high school, we both took different routes. I have always been very diligent about my academics, so I graduated top of my class and went to a good college in Chicago, about an hour from my home town. He, on the other hand, was not too interested in school, he began to make an effort because I encouraged him. Anyway, he decided he would join the Marine Corps, so I thought this would maybe give him the opportunity to start on a career, but for the first year after high school he didn't do much. He said he would join the military but he just moved around from his parents' to his brother's place and took up random jobs. This kind of disappointed me because I felt like he gave up and I didn't want to be with someone who has no ambition or drive to succeed. I don't want to sound stuck up or anything but I just thought he was better than that. The point is, we ended up breaking up for about a year.
During that year we kept in touch because we just couldn't completely stay away from each other after so long. I met other guys, went on some dates but nothing serious, I was just having me time and hanging out with friends. He says he didn't do much during this year either, just party, work here and there but no relationships. He kept trying to get me back but I didn't want to go back to the same problem. After some time he decided to move to Houston, TX with his parents. I was kind of sad because I would definitely miss him but I figured it would be better for the both of us.
Later that year, he told me he had finally enlisted and would leave within a month, so he wanted to come visit me and say bye before he left. He came and we kind of fell back into our old ways... he stayed over at my place the whole time but we never really agreed on getting back together or even talked about it, but eventually he left and while he was in boot camp we wrote to each other frequently and acted like if we were dating...
When he came back from boot camp my sophomore year, he totally blew me away! He was a changed man! He was so confident and determined, disciplined and just so dreamy. I fell for him once again and he asked me to be his girlfriend again. I of course said yes! He ended up getting placed in the reserves side of the Marines, so he could live wherever he wanted to but go to drill once a month and 2 week in the summer and obviously be ready to be deployed at anytime. After boot camp he left again for another 3 months or so and we kept our relationship going. His new personality just kept me crazy for him.
When he came back, he said he either had to stay in Texas with his parents or find a place he could afford in Chicago and since I was looking for a new roommate, we decided to move in together. Yea I know we are young but it worked out for both of us financially. We have been living together for more than a year now and to be honest, my parents have no clue! Yea, crazy... but they never come visit me and they would disown me if they knew. They are super traditional and want a church wedding. That is one of the reasons my guy wants to marry as soon as possible, we are tired of lying to my parents. Anyway...
When we first started living together, he was really motivated about finding a full time job and starting school, but the school thing has not happened yet...he was unemployed for almost 4 months. I was supporting us both with a part time job and I was going to school full time still. During those 4 months he slowly started getting lazy. He wouldn't help around the apartment and he didn't have a job. I know its hard to find a job anywhere right now but he was hardly trying! I was getting really frustrated but eventually he found a job.
I saw his motivation go up when he started working full time again but his confidence was back to his high school self. Shy and awkward around other people, specially my friends, but kinda possessive and even a little violent at times. Not to me directly but just the things he says sometimes about other people scared me. He hardly has any friends and I have a ton. He doesn't like me going out on my own, hardly agrees to come visit my parents with me, hasn't started school (He plans to though), and just isn't who I thought he was when he came back from boot camp. However, he is so loving with me, treats me like a queen, spoils me as much as he can, respects me and takes care of me. When we are alone, its like the world doesn't exist, like we are the only ones who matter, we can be goofy with each other and he is himself. I have a hard time picturing myself with anyone else. I truly love him. He might not be perfect, but he is mine and he adores me!
My problem is: I know he is going to propose on my birthday next month and he has suggested we get married after I graduate next summer, but I'm worried his personality will be a problem later on in our marriage. He never had the chance to be a bachelor and live that part of his life. What if he realizes that once we are married and leaves me? What if he gets even more possessive? What if he wants to keep me away from my family and friends?
He is just not the type of person I always thought I would marry. I figured I would meet some smart, handsome, confident guy in college or later in my life and get married then. I know, typical! So cliche and unrealistic! But I just don't know if I wanna marry a guy with such little ambition, so lacking in confidence and honestly not very romantic. I know its a lot to ask for and that the perfect guy doesn't exist but is he the guy for me?
I also don't want to hurt him, he is my best friend and I love him. What would he do if I said no? He would be devastated! What would I do? Where would I go from there? How could I move on? I can't even imagine...
Thank you if you read my freaken essay! 
Please help me! What would you do if you were in my shoes?