Not Engaged Yet

New and need advice

I'm new here and just need a little advice. My BF and I have been talking about getting engaged for a while. We have lived together for almost two years and unfortunately our finances have been holding us back. I've been getting a lot of hints lately that it will soon be I'm beyond excited!

Coincidently my younger sister is expecting to be engaged by the spring as well. I could not be happier for her and absolutely LOVE her BF...they are great together. So my question is if there is some kind of etiquette around siblings planning weddings at the same time. If they become engaged before my BF and I should we wait? And if we are both engaged simultaneously, should we space things out appropriately since we will have very similar guest lists? 

Re: New and need advice

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    edited December 2011
    You get one day.  Your sister gets one day.  In the interest of not causing ANY drama, perhaps you should not book your wedding on the same weekend.  Other than that, it's all fair game.
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    katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it's silly when people wait for other people.

    I would space your weddings out so it's convenient for you, your families and any mutual guests.

    FWIW, 2 of my best friends and I all got married 3 weeks apart from each other. It was fine. : )
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    paintgirlpaintgirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Hello! I saw a Whose Wedding is it Anyway where two sisters shared a wedding - I wouldn't recommend that. It seemed like a nightmare.  :) Anything short of that and you should be ok. If either of you are considering a wedding out of town that would require most of your guests to travel, I'd keep that in mind. Otherwise, space them a month or so apart and you should be good. I don't think there's anything "official" but it's kind of you to consider your guests.
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    edited December 2011
    I think that's something you should discuss with your sister, her FI and your FI after you get engaged. After you get engaged, you'll take a lot of factors into account in determining your date...for all you know, you could be thinking a year apart in date, or two weeks.

    I can actually speak younger sister and I are getting married within six months of each other. She got engaged about two years before I did (they had a long engagement due to school). After I got engaged, we did factor in my sister's wedding date (among other factors) into deciding on a wedding date. We chose a date six months after to give our families some space between weddings, and to give each other some time between them (we're both in each other's weddings). It worked out beautifully - everyone enjoyed my sister's wedding in October, and now everyone's looking forward to ours in April. I was able to concentrate on and celebrate my sister's marriage completely (without dealing with my own), and now that she's married, she's jumped into helping me with mine.

    But again, this is something you should all sit down and discuss after you get engaged. Right now, just enjoy this period of time in your relationship, and best of luck.

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    desertsundesertsun member
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    edited December 2011
    Nope, no rules. You're allowed to get married on the same day with the exact same guest list if you want.

    Of course the sensible thing is to talk to your sister about it openly and honestly from now throughout the planning process.

    And the considerate thing to do for relatives is to try to space things apart so they don't have to choose one or the other. I think probably a couple months at least is a good idea.

    I bet it will be fun for you two to plan together! How exciting!

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    AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    As long as neither on of you wants to have a dual wedding, it doesn't matter when it happens.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't think there is an issue about when you get engaged. The problems I could see with your wedding dates being close are out of town guests having to travel twice or if your parents are helping financially it could create a burden for them. 

    If neither of those are a concern I would do whatever works best for you and not worry about your sister. It is silly to put off your life for hers. 

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    edited December 2011
    I have 2 younger sisters, so I can understand your worry.  But, as PPs have pointed out, technically, there are no "rules" about it.

    If you and your sister do end up engaged at the same time, just sit down and talk to her.  It may be that she has her heart set on a winter wedding, and you have your heart set on a spring wedding, and it wouldn't even be an issue.

    Another thing to consider:  Your close friends and family are most likely going to come, no matter how close together your weddings are.  When my sister got married last summer, my cousins commented to me that they were so glad we all got together (it doesn't happen very often) that they wished we had a reason to do so every 3 months.
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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You can get engaged on the same exact day as your sister. It doesn't matter when you get engaged, the only thing to worry about is the wedding dates. But that's something to worry about after the engagement. For now, enjoy your relationship and if your sister gets engaged this spring, be happy for her. :)

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    edited December 2011
    Thank you all so much!! I feel so much better and am more excited than ever!

    Desertsun you are so right...planning together will be so much fun!!
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