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Bridesmaid-ing Advice

E_SquaredPAE_SquaredPA
10 Comments
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So the first of my friends is getting married in May and she has asked me to be a bridesmaid. She's the first of our close group to get married so, I've never been a BM before.

I was hoping some of you ladies might have advice for a young thing like me? Ways to make her life easier, things you wish your maids would have done, whatever you think would be helpful for me to know.

Thanks ladies!
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Re: Bridesmaid-ing Advice

  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You really just have to be a good friend and use common sense.

    An idea of some traditional things BMs might do:

    Keep in mind that these aren't all REQUIRED, but it's certainly nice to have offers of help.

    Some things my girlfriends did for me that were really helpful:
    -helping me with escort cards
    -helping me pick out/design/put together invitations
    -helping me wrap presents for the WP and parents
    -shopping for favor ideas and emailing them to me
    -helping put favors together
    -shopping for my wedding dress (I let my BMs pick out their own dress with the guidelines of navy blue, knee length)
    -planning and hosting a shower
    -planning and hosting a brunch the morning after the wedding
    -keeping me stocked with food, water, and champagne the day of
    -helping me transport all my stuff to the venue (favors, guestbook, attire, alcohol, etc)
    -helping me load my car to take all my stuff home (this is kind of a biggie, b/c the last thing you want to do at the end of a long night is worry about presents and all the rest of the stuff that has to be cleared out of the venue)
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  • E_SquaredPAE_SquaredPA
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks! A lot of those things are stuff I was planning on doing as a BM, but I hadn't thought about the after-ceremony stuff. Very helpful :)
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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Every wedding is different. I was in a wedding where I was greatly involved as a bridesmaid, another where all I had to do was to show up. In my wedding, one of my personal attendants did more overall than did any of the bridesmaids (put together.) My maid of honor did throw me a shower (with the help of the other PA) and helped PA #1 with the bachelorette party. Do you think the bride is going to be doing a lot of DIY that will need your help? Or is she more independant and just want you to show up on time for important events. I would say your best advice would be to talk to her and see what she wants/ expects and what you want and/or are willing to contribute. You are not obligated to do anything other than to show up on time (and not be drunk at inappropriate times.)

    If you are all for helping wherever possible, I say let your friend know that. If you don't think your schedule will permit you to help, don't offer your help. I had BMs offer to help, but then when it came to the day they weren't willing or able. I didn't expect their help, but I just got annoyed that they kept offering in advance, but when the day to do stuff arrived they couldn't or just didn't want to. Had they never offered I wouldn't have cared.
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  • Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Depends on location too.  I'm MOH in my bff's wedding and all I have to do is...buy the dress and show up.  I'm over 600 miles away, though, so the other BMs are in charge of showers/bach parties and it's completely understood that I won't be able to make it to these pre-wedding events.

    I also answer a lot of "do you like this...?" questions ;) 
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
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  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Talk to your friend and ask what she might need help with. Every wedding is different.  I've only been a BM once, but here's a rundown of what I did:
    -went dress shopping with the other BMs
    -designed email save-the-dates
    -addressed and assembled invitations
    -designed centerpiece concepts
    -assembled bouquets and ceremony flowers the day before the wedding
    -attend rehearsal & rehearsal dinner
    -show up very early the day of the wedding to unload and assemble the centerpieces

    This was a group of girls who'd been friends for 10+ years working with a bride who was a few hundres miles away. I found it very interesting that we would submit ideas for consideration by the bride & groom (the save the dates and centerpieces). It was actually a lot of fun.

    I will also say the DIY flowers were fun (and came out looking really good) but were a logistical headache.

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    I haz a planning bio
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