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My heart is broken, Vibes/T&P please!

So, the day after Slowy's pee all around the house episode, I noticed a new lump between her back legs. We went to the vet yesterday to check her kidney levels and the doc said that this lump was not another mast cell tumor, instead it is a very aggressive lymph node tumor. There really is not anything we can do at this point. She is uncomfortable and in pain. They gave us prednisone to try to slow the tumor's growth, but after very careful and serious thought I think it is time to end her suffering. The steroids will only POSSIBLY slow the tumor's growth, but it is already in the lymph nodes-which means it is spreading throughout her organs.

My heart is broken into a thousand pieces. I never imagined things would go this quickly. When they gave us the diagnosis in November I thought for sure we would have 6 months to a year left with her. I can't believe that she's not going to greet me every day at the stairs, chattering her teeth in excitement. She's not going to goof off in the yard with me, trying to knock me over as she runs by. But I know that it is better for my heart to break than for her to suffer any more. It was with a very tearful heart that I have scheduled an appointment to say goodbye next wednesday.

I wanted to just take a few days to help her check a few things off her bucket list and to take some last photos of her with the Bean. Last night we checked off one of her top wishes-to lay on the couch and fall asleep next to me. She's so gigantic that she's never been on the couch. She was happy down on her bed-but she always looked at me and the couch as if to say "I really want to cuddle with you up there." So last night I helped her up and we both fell asleep with her head in my lap.

If you could all offer up a thought or prayer for Slowy that her journey over the rainbow bridge is swift and painless and that we somehow find comfort.

"Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
 "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









Re: My heart is broken, Vibes/T&P please!

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    nyc1210nyc1210 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry that this is happening. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you. She's lucky to have a family that loves her so much. I hope you create even more great memories while doing her bucket list.

    ::hugs::
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry bean.  we're right there with you.  :(  I'm so glad you have this time to say good-bye and to check things off her bucket list.  with my bull terrier, we didn't get any time so it's very special to be able to do that.  she knows she's loved and she couldn't have had a better life with anyone else or been loved any more.  I'll definitely be thinking of you as we walk the same path with Sassy...  it could be two weeks, or maybe 6 months or a year for us, but I know exactly what you're feeling.
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    becunning2becunning2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry! That's difficult to go through. It's really adorable that you're creating a bucket list for her, like getting up on the couch. It's always hard to make a decision to put an animal down, but it sounds like she's had a long, very happy life with you.  Sending vibes and thoughts and prayers your way. 
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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Reading your post made me cry. Losing a pet is so hard. I think you're doing the right thing. Hugs, sweetie.
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    beanbot2002beanbot2002 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_heart-broken-vibestp-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:cd9b5a75-4a21-4685-8350-e7a9598148d4Post:7b1c1bb8-e7a0-4868-a834-bfaf30d01e23">Re: My heart is broken, Vibes/T&P please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh Bean... I'm so sorry you're going through this, and my heart is breaking with yours. May she rest in peace in doggie heaven.
    Posted by cu97tiger[/QUOTE]

    Thank you! The Bean asked me last night if she would go to heaven. Of course, I responded yes. He was confused because his school has said no, she won't because she doesn't have a soul...which I strongly disagree with. There is nothing more than heart and soul about that dog. I promised him that she is going to go to heaven and wait to play with him there.
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









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    polkadot111polkadot111 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    :( I'll be praying you find comfort somehow. Loosing a pet is so tough always.
    Used to be bourgehm. +1,500 posts. Silly knot
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    elanniselannis member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_heart-broken-vibestp-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:cd9b5a75-4a21-4685-8350-e7a9598148d4Post:bc199a64-c1c8-431f-a18b-3e5cfc1483fc">Re: My heart is broken, Vibes/T&P please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Reading your post made me cry.</strong> Losing a pet is so hard. I think you're doing the right thing. Hugs, sweetie.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    Me too. : ( I had a feeling that this post was going to be about this before opening it. I'm so sorry. I agree that you're doing the right thing though. And though she may not have had as much time as you thought, just know that her time with you has been happy. She's been loved and well cared for and now she will get to go to a better place without pain. I think the picture (video would be good too) and bucket list idea is very sweet.
    -Ely

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    wink0erinwink0erin member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_heart-broken-vibestp-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:cd9b5a75-4a21-4685-8350-e7a9598148d4Post:b3544bfa-e93e-406b-a0b3-a3a13aceb1f6">Re: My heart is broken, Vibes/T&P please!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My heart is broken, Vibes/T&P please! : Thank you! The Bean asked me last night if she would go to heaven. Of course, I responded yes. He was confused because his school has said no, she won't because she doesn't have a soul...which I strongly disagree with. There is nothing more than heart and soul about that dog. I promised him that she is going to go to heaven and wait to play with him there.
    Posted by beanbot2002[/QUOTE]

    Anyone who says animals have no souls needs punched in the teeth. My mother always said if there were no animals in heaven she wouldn't want to go there.

    I am so sorry about Slowy =( I am sure she is enjoying crossing items off her bucket list and you have made the right choice. It's hard, but it is the best thing for her.

    ::hugs::
    ******************************************************

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    edited December 2011
    :( Hugs and vibes. So sad..I can't even imagine :(
    5/27/12
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    beanbot2002beanbot2002 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Checking one last thing off her Bucket List...
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









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    SwazzleSwazzle member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear about your pupper.  It's awful to lose a pet, both of my cats that I had for 16 years passed away last year & I was absolutely devastated.  

    Just know that you're doing the right thing though. Sending you t&p &  :::hugs::::



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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear your sad news Bean. It's so hard to lose a pet. I'll be sending Slowy vibes to ease her pain and prayers to you for strength and courage to get through this.
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    beanbot2002beanbot2002 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much ladies. I keep bursting into tears at my desk just imagining life without her. Her time with us was brief: a short 5 years, but so blessed. She taught me more about myself in those 5 years, than I had learned in the 25 before she showed up. She was an angel when I needed one, a protector (remind me to tell you about the time she placed herself between me and a loose dog that had jumped into our yard and charged me), an assitance dog-I'm blind in the dark and she helped me navigate many times, but most of all she has been my friend. She let me curse at the top of my lungs when I needed to, stood with me outside when I needed a smoke, and put her head in my lap when I needed to be grounded. I will thank her for those gifts forever.
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









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    edited December 2011
    Awwww... hugs.
    www.nurseyk.weebly.com
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    cu97tigercu97tiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Oh Bean... I'm so sorry you're going through this, and my heart is breaking with yours. May she rest in peace in doggie heaven.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

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    "You are made of win." -SopChick
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    motoLynmotoLyn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear the news Bean, saying good bye to a beloved furry family member is hard.  I'm sure slowy had a great life and knows she's loved.  All there is to do now is make her last few days special.  *HUGS*
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    lennonkdclennonkdc member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sitting here blinking back tears. I'm so sorry that you are losing such a wonderful friend. Losing a pet is always difficult, especially since they are a pure source of selfless love. I'm sending love and peaceful thoughts your way. *Hugs*



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    kellyt89kellyt89 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry, I know that this must have been a heart wrenching decision. I'm glad you're spending as much time with her and letting her "cross things off on her bucket list," that's so sweet.

    T&P's and lots of hugs!!
    And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain... Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
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    doubleSS07doubleSS07 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OMG I'm totally sitting here looking up trying not to cry.  I am so sorry you have to make that decision..it's incredibly painful.  These last few days will be wonderful for you both.  I'll be thinking about you next Wednesday :(


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    edited December 2011
    Im so sorry to hear about Slowy, hopefully you can make the time you have with her great and memorable.  Thought and prayers go out to you.

    Anniversary

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    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry that you're dealing with this pain.  Slowly is lucky to have such great owners who love her so much.

    ::HUGS:: and ::More HUGS::
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    desertsundesertsun member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Sending love and comfort to Slowy, you, and the rest of your family. I'm sorry this is happening.

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    SopChickSopChick member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry Bean, losing a pet is always so hard. *hugs*
    Canada Cat Pictures, Images and Photos
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    edited December 2011
    I was tearing up while reading this. So sorry Bean! Sending vibes for Slowy, you and your family. What a difficult thing to have to go through.
     




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    stacybeanstacybean member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are so strong to be pulling through this, it is soooo soo hard to lose a pet and my thoughts go out to you. Slowy will be remembered and I'm sure always remember and love you for providing such a loving home.
    Sent from my iPad - any unusual words or misspellings are due to an autocorrect incident that I may have missed.
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    leia1979leia1979 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry, Bean. Wishing you and Slowy much love and comfort.
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    I'm so sorry to hear this. I know exactly how you feel and it sucks. We had a lab who had a very aggressive tumor in his mouth. He was fine in march with no signs of anything wrong and by April, we have to put him down because the tumor was so big and was messing with his daily routine. As hard as it seems, you're doing the right thing. Make the most of the next few days with her and spoil her as much as you can. You're in my prayers. Andplusalso, I believe dogs go to heaven. They can make such an impact on your life in the short time theyre here, theres no way they don't get a free pass.
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