XP: Bachelorette party woes

cu97tiger

I'm guilty of choosing an expensive trip for my bachelorette party. I've always wanted to go to NYC in December, so that's where I'm going. In the last 10 days, one girl has decided to only come for Saturday night while another has dropped out altogether. The second one is giving my sister a hard time about paying for non-refundable parts of the trip. 

Why? I didn't want to stress my sister out, and I understand it's an expensive trip, but now I feel horrible for picking such an expensive place and I feel like everyone is going to be cranky because they are spending so much money...

becunning2

Hopefully the gals who are coming really want to go and won't give you a hard about it. If you can afford it, you could pay for something on the trip. I have also always wanted to go to NYC, so if I could afford it, I would jump to go. I think just be gracious with those who can't come since it is expensive, and then just enjoy your trip with those who can afford it. And tell your sis to tell people it's okay for them not to come (instead of complaining non stop!).

Karenofcourse

Please understand that anytime there is an overnight trip involved, some people are not going to be able to do it.  Also, it may not be b/c of how expensive NYC is, but also b/c it is a very expensive time of the year for most people.  A lot of money is spent on gifts, food, travel, etc between Thanksgiving and New Years.  Have fun with the party and as pp said, if you can chip in on something, that would be wonderful!!

polkadot111

I get that it will be fun, because I'm sure it will be. However, I know I would not be able to go if my bff picked a trip to NYC for her bachelorette party. It's just too expensive. And, since it's not just a day or a night thing, it would be even more difficult to be able to go. Especially with all of the holidays (looks like it's a December trip). I know if I were you I'd be pretty sad that friends couldn't come, but it is so frickin' expensive, so I'd understand. It looks like you do understand that it's an expensive trip which is why people can't come, but you still asked "why?".  I think you need to be understanding of those who can't come, and not be upset or sad about it. People just simply can't afford that, especially around the holidays. Go with those who can afford it, or else pick something else to do that everyone can join in on.

cu97tiger

I understood from the beginning that it was going to be an expensive trip and that not everyone would be able to come. What is upsetting is people that said they would come, decided to back out pretty close to the last minute, and are now giving my sister a hard time about non-refundable parts of the trip.<div>
</div><div>ETA: In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_xp-bachelorette-party-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d129cbcc-8d99-49b5-8b40-6950addee2cdPost:214551c6-6b19-4fe2-b8ff-15d0e3134178">Re: XP: Bachelorette party woes</a>:</div>[QUOTE]I get that it will be fun, because I'm sure it will be. However, I know I would not be able to go if my bff picked a trip to NYC for her bachelorette party. It's just too expensive. And, since it's not just a day or a night thing, it would be even more difficult to be able to go. Especially with all of the holidays (looks like it's a December trip). I know if I were you I'd be pretty sad that friends couldn't come, but it is so frickin' expensive, so I'd understand. It looks like you do understand that it's an expensive trip which is why people can't come, but you still asked "why?".  I think you need to be understanding of those who can't come, and not be upset or sad about it. People just simply can't afford that, especially around the holidays. <strong>Go with those who can afford it, or else pick something else to do that everyone can join in on.</strong>
Posted by polkadot111[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Considering the non-refundable airplane flights that five of us have purchased, this is not an option.</div>

Simply Fated

Next time you can wait until everyone has given the money BEFORE you purchase the tickets. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. It sucks, but it is what it is. If you are really that concerned about how your sister will be out that money, you should pay her back. After all, it was your idea and your request that put her in this position. Go with the five people that paid and have a good time.

Olliee1607

If I wanted an expensive trip I would plan on footing some of the bill. I don't want my friends to be in an awkward position because they arent comfortable with the amount. My bridesmaids suggested getting a hotel room and going to the casino, everyone said yes but I still plan on footing part of the cost

TheMutleys

Tiger, what's done is done.  Do not go into this feeling guilty.  That serves no purpose.  I would let those that are going know just how appreciative you are that they are celebrating with you.  I would also let those that are unable to go know that you wish that they could come but that you fully understand.  Does it suck?  Definitely.  However, things happens.  Sometimes circumstances change. 

In terms of the non-refundable parts, are you worried that the expenses are now going to be split by fewer people?  I would try to help out with the expenses and leave it at that. 

ENJOY your trip.  ENJOY the company of those able to make it. 

BookButterfly

[QUOTE]I understood from the beginning that it was going to be an expensive trip and that not everyone would be able to come. What is upsetting is people that said they would come, decided to back out pretty close to the last minute, and are now giving my sister a hard time about non-refundable parts of the trip.[/QUOTE]

That is really annoying. =/ I would be slightly ticked, too. BUT, what's done is done and you can't get refunds. If they knew that these were non-refundable ahead of time, well, that's on them, isn't it?

One of my friends is getting married--initially, we wanted to go to Vegas, but most of her Bride's Maids couldn't afford to go. Thus, my friend, another friend of ours, and myself might go and have a blast, but then they're going to have another Bachelorette Party for most of the girls who couldn't come later. Maybe you could do something like that and make a point to take those girls out when you get back? =/ Just a thought, I'm not sure if that's viable or not.

Good luck! I second this:
[QUOTE]ENJOY your trip.  ENJOY the company of those able to make it. [/QUOTE]

cu97tiger

Thanks everyone. I didn't mean to come off in my initial post like I was annoyed at those that couldn't come. I'm mostly just frustrated that I put anyone in this situation to begin with. I am VERY thankful for those that can still make it, and I completely understand why my friend had to back out and how hard of a decision that that was for her to make.

Regardless, it's going to be a great time. I bought all the ladies a little 'thank you' something, and am excited to write out the cards that will go along with them. On all of your suggestions, I'm going to pull together some funds to pay for one of our excursions (though I don't know what any of those are, yet, my MOH/sister has been keeping me in the dark on most stuff!). 

Your words, some soul-searching, and a few mimosas (finishing off the T-giving day champagne) have got me feeling MUCH better.