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I'm ready to scream!!

Guest lists are driving me crazy! Our venue holds 275. They said MAXIMUM we could go to 300 (because kids are being seated downstairs with the babysitters). So, we explained this to our parents. That each side gets 150 total. My mom called me today and told me her list is done (I asked her how many, and she hadn't counted). She has 148 people. I was like, uuuuh, what about MY friends?!? I get a guilt trip, that we should have picked a bigger venue. AHHH! So, I start cutting people (that I don't know off her list) and she gets upset with me.

I'm ready to elope!

Sorry, I just needed to vent!
~~December 3, 2011~~
«1

Re: I'm ready to scream!!

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    luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Do it. Weddings are overrated anyway!

    I'm sorry you're having guest list troubles. :(
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    edited December 2011
    She had 148 people of her OWN guests?! That's a little selfish, IMO! I would tell your mom she needs to re-do "her" guest list, and then give her a maximum number that she cannot go over. Like 50. Even 70 if you're feeling generous.

    I want to elope so bad right now. Just to get it over with.

    image 170 Invited (holy crap!)

    image 98 are coming to party!

    image 29 have other plans

    image 43 need to respond!

    Daisypath Wedding tickers

    "Bside - You're just too sexy for your own good" ~ leia1979

    "True love = I still love you even though we hang out all the time and most other people would be tired of each other already" ~ flygirlmeg
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    edited December 2011
    I understand completely. *hugs*
    Anniversary
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    edited December 2011
    Well, her list included all our family and mutual family friends...  But then she included a bunch of people I didn't know. I took them off the list and added in the 30 people that were on my list. I got the list down to 149 (with my guests and hers).
    ~~December 3, 2011~~
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone... My FI is out running so I couldn't complain to him!
    ~~December 3, 2011~~
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    edited December 2011
    Honestly,  moms DO get a little BSC over weddings, in my experience. I know my mom did. I love her to bits, and she was a HUGE help... but still, she got quite crazy sometimes.

    You'll be ok. It sounds like you're working it out just fine.
    Anniversary
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    alanna91alanna91 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh gosh. This is embarrassing, but I totally wouldn't know of that many people to invite to my wedding!

    I'm sure things will simmer down soon. Your mother has to realize you can't exceed 300, and your list should take precedence over hers. I'm sure your list has some overlaps with hers anyway. She was probably just being a little hasty while making her first draft!
    White Knot
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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Sorry, Ember!  You'll work it out, I'm sure, but I know it must be stressful right now.
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    motoLynmotoLyn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:3d9811c7-7c55-428b-8f71-a28db2af020e">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, her list included all our family and mutual family friends...  But then she included a bunch of people I didn't know. I took them off the list and added in the 30 people that were on my list. I got the list down to 149 (with my guests and hers).
    Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]

    Sounds like you got it under control, stick to your guns lady!  Good luck.
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    edited December 2011
    I so know that feeling!  While I'm not engaged yet, my mom has been working on the guest list for, well...way too long IMO.  My side alone she wants to send out about 200 invites or more (I seriously think it's every person she has ever met in her life on that list).  I've seen the list and probably 15-25% of them will actually come so I'm not too worried about it.  But it's still a lot of people for just one side and means that many more invitations to order and stamps to buy and RSVPs to keep up with and, well, you get the point.  I am completely prepared to tone that list down once a venue has been decided on...and I'm completely prepared to fight her every step of the way!  :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    leia1979leia1979 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Stay strong, Ember!

    I wish my mom were a little more involved, but I guess I should be thankful. I asked if she wanted to add anyone else, and she asked to add a whopping two friends and their husbands.
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    CASK85CASK85 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:3e660e02-39fd-4960-bed3-61e33208d1f5">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I so know that feeling!  While I'm not engaged yet, my mom has been working on the guest list for, well...way too long IMO.  My side alone she wants to send out about 200 invites or more (I seriously think it's every person she has ever met in her life on that list).  I've seen the list and probably 15-25% of them will actually come so I'm not too worried about it.  But it's still a lot of people for just one side and means that many more invitations to order and stamps to buy and RSVPs to keep up with and, well, you get the point.  I am completely prepared to tone that list down once a venue has been decided on...and I'm completely prepared to fight her every step of the way!  :)
    Posted by snd2879[/QUOTE]
    You have a guest list and a wedding countdown but you're not engaged yet? Awesome. Keep that up, killer. 
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    AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Do it.  Elope.
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
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    luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:3e660e02-39fd-4960-bed3-61e33208d1f5">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I so know that feeling!  While I'm not engaged yet, my mom has been working on the guest list for, well...way too long IMO.  My side alone she wants to send out about 200 invites or more (I seriously think it's every person she has ever met in her life on that list).  I've seen the list and probably 15-25% of them will actually come so I'm not too worried about it.  But it's still a lot of people for just one side and means that many more invitations to order and stamps to buy and RSVPs to keep up with and, well, you get the point.  I am completely prepared to tone that list down once a venue has been decided on...and I'm completely prepared to fight her every step of the way!  :)
    Posted by snd2879[/QUOTE]


    So what if your BF doesn't propose to you in the next six months? Are you still going to get married anyway? Just with maybe a new guy or something?

    How can you have guests to a wedding and a wedding date set if you're not even engaged?
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    peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Eeep, Ember, I'm sorry.  Mom thankfully hasn't started yet (that I know of), but if she pulls that crap, she'll be sorry.  ;-)

    *hugs*  hang in there, I know you'll make it work.  She'll still love you even if you remove half her social life.  If they aren't special to you and/or your fiance, they shouldn't really be there, and your mom needs to realize that they can't be special if you've never met them. <3
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    Hazel_BHazel_B member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Way to stick to your guns Ember! I made up the guest list for my side and talked to over with my mom on the phone and she just wanted to cut people. All I know is that guestlists are not easy!
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone. Funny thing happened. As we were talking on the phone, I lost my signal and the call dropped. We were at the end of the conversation anyways, so I didn't call her back. 10 minutes later, there is a knock on my back door. She came over to finish the conversation.

    Moral of the story? Don't buy a house within walking distance of your parent's house!
    ~~December 3, 2011~~
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:e9eb9c61-0e18-468b-9dc1-8a42c0c18818">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm ready to scream!! : So what if your BF doesn't propose to you in the next six months? Are you still going to get married anyway? Just with maybe a new guy or something? How can you have guests to a wedding and a wedding date set if you're not even engaged?
    Posted by luvdncn90[/QUOTE]

    Maybe she means by not engaged yet that they are getting married without getting engaged?


    Ember, that is too funny about your mom finishing the convo in person.  Be strong with the guest list. IMO, either the bride or groom or both should know everyone on the guest list.  Your mom should understand you cutting people you don't know.  I'm sure she just got super excited about the wedding and wants to show you off to everyone, since moms are like that an all.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:9a4e42e9-fa00-48a8-907f-7bf671491855">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks everyone. Funny thing happened. As we were talking on the phone, I lost my signal and the call dropped. We were at the end of the conversation anyways, so I didn't call her back. 10 minutes later, there is a knock on my back door. She came over to finish the conversation. Moral of the story? Don't buy a house within walking distance of your parent's house!
    Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]

    This made me LOL.
    Anniversary
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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:fb1add3c-14cf-4dd8-83eb-d082950de2f3">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm ready to scream!! : <strong>Maybe she means by not engaged yet that they are getting married without getting engaged?</strong> Ember, that is too funny about your mom finishing the convo in person.  Be strong with the guest list. IMO, either the bride or groom or both should know everyone on the guest list.  Your mom should understand you cutting people you don't know.  I'm sure she just got super excited about the wedding and wants to show you off to everyone, since moms are like that an all.
    Posted by amsybot[/QUOTE]

    Um, what?
    Also, she said she wasn't engaged...<strong>yet.</strong> Implying she would be in the future.
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    edited December 2011
    Sorry for the confusion, ladies!  BF and I originally talked about and set a date at the end of last year to have as a timeline/goal and for people who were asking (aka family members).  I've been lurking for a while and created that and tagged to my siggy without thinking that there would be changes (because I can be dumb that way sometimes) and haven't taken it off yet.  Thank you for reminding me.  :)  

    *and now that I want/need to take it off...I can't get into my profile for it to let me!!*

    And if you knew my mom...you'd know how a person can have a guest list wihtout having a wedding.  She's that "prepared"...or whatever term you prefer to call it.  LOL!

    Please bear with this noob who sometimes lacks much sense.  :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:c74a136c-055d-4e7d-a00a-9f6dfe96a735">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry for the confusion, ladies!  BF and I originally talked about and set a date at the end of last year to have as a timeline/goal and for people who were asking (aka family members).  I've been lurking for a while and created that and tagged to my siggy without thinking that there would be changes (because I can be dumb that way sometimes) and haven't taken it off yet.  Thank you for reminding me.  :)   *and now that I want/need to take it off...I can't get into my profile for it to let me!!* And if you knew my mom...you'd know how a person can have a guest list wihtout having a wedding.  She's that "prepared"...or whatever term you prefer to call it.  LOL! Please bear with this noob who sometimes lacks much sense.  :)
    Posted by snd2879[/QUOTE]

    Except your previous posts suggest that you are either engaged without a ring or you've experienced a case of BSC. Looking for venues, calling him FI... etc. I don't care what you two decide you are, but be consistent.
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    luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    How do you get married without being engaged? Do you just run out one day and get married in the courthouse deciding to skip the whole engagement process?

    Sounds fun. Maybe I'll try it.
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    AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:02e30182-eaec-4a33-acbf-e447bd9eda86">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>How do you get married without being engaged? </strong>Do you just run out one day and get married in the courthouse deciding to skip the whole engagement process? Sounds fun. Maybe I'll try it.
    Posted by luvdncn90[/QUOTE]

    <div>Surprise ice rink wedding.</div>
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
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    peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:2049af21-260e-4852-be1d-d1e1a5b997db">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm ready to scream!! : Surprise ice rink wedding.
    Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

    <div>*like*</div>
    I french with my man
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    mcnallziemcnallzie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey everyone!
    I'm a lurker, and I decided to make an account so I could reply to this.

    I always seem to notice you all getting worried/concerned/annoyed at what other Knotters call themselves and their SO.

    For examply, heyimbren, what does it matter to you if she stays consistant with her terms? It doesn't in any way concern you or interrupt your life.

    And luvdcn90, do you have a problem with eloping? Really, I'm just wondering.
    If a couple is in love, and they decide to elope, do you look down on it? This is to you mocking her "running to the courthouse to get married". Maybe I read it wrong.
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    luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:ef4d39ff-9fec-4eb8-a065-4735288c93c9">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey everyone! I'm a lurker, and I decided to make an account so I could reply to this. I always seem to notice you all getting worried/concerned/annoyed at what other Knotters call themselves and their SO. For examply, heyimbren, what does it matter to you if she stays consistant with her terms? It doesn't in any way concern you or interrupt your life. And luvdcn90, do you have a problem with eloping? Really, I'm just wondering. If a couple is in love, and they decide to elope, do you look down on it? This is to you mocking her "running to the courthouse to get married". Maybe I read it wrong.
    Posted by mcnallzie[/QUOTE]

    No actually I was honestly curious. I actually want to get eloped but uhm thanks for the concern?

    Maybe you should lurk a bit more.
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    MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:9a4e42e9-fa00-48a8-907f-7bf671491855">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks everyone. Funny thing happened. As we were talking on the phone, I lost my signal and the call dropped. We were at the end of the conversation anyways, so I didn't call her back. 10 minutes later, there is a knock on my back door. She came over to finish the conversation. Moral of the story? Don't buy a house within walking distance of your parent's house!
    Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]



    Thank you for making me feel better about not getting the house next to my parents lol.
    I can imagine how stressful the guest list is. Good luck :)
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    mcnallziemcnallzie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:29714496-e41b-49f3-941a-772c3105991b">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm ready to scream!! : No actually I was honestly curious. I actually want to get eloped but uhm thanks for the concern? Maybe you should lurk a bit more.
    Posted by luvdncn90[/QUOTE]

    Unlike you, it didn't concern me a bit. I wasn't sitting here rocking back and forth wondering your opinion on the matter. So, no worries.
    I think if you were honestly curious, you need to work on your tone. It didn't come across as a genuine remark. IMHO

    Maybe I will lurk a bit more. Thank so much for the awesome advice!
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    luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-ready-scream?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d6ece409-a0dd-43fa-b379-3d3672f46270Post:a3bc0c71-2a8c-437e-af4f-d7f685a7e6e3">Re: I'm ready to scream!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm ready to scream!! : Unlike you, it didn't concern me a bit. I wasn't sitting here rocking back and forth wondering your opinion on the matter. So, no worries. I think if you were honestly curious, you need to work on your tone. It didn't come across as a genuine remark. IMHO Maybe I will lurk a bit more. Thank so much for the awesome advice!
    Posted by mcnallzie[/QUOTE]

    Because I said it concerned me?

    Don't worry I'll consider your advice and really take it to heart... You're a doll.
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