Ok, I have to get this out there because it is really frustrating me and then hopefully I will feel better.
So this past weekend I went to visit BF and there's a ring I like at the store we go to every time I'm in town. BUT I've been trying really hard since my intro post not to think about weddings or talk about it, especially to him, because I want him to do it in his own time, and I'm insanely busy finishing up the semester. We went to the store, walked around, and I was perfectly content to leave without looking at the ring, but he insisted.
So we get to the jewelry counter, and I look around confusedly, because the ring is usually always in same case, same section. The ring is gone, which immediately upset me because: 1) This ring isn't on their website and I never took a picture of it, and 2) I wanted to walk out of the store without even looking!
We have been looking at rings for over a year now... probably have looked at/tried on close to a hundred, and this ring was absolutely perfect in my eyes. Of course, the little voice in the back of my head keeps whispering "Maybe he already bought it for you!!" Possibly... but I have gone to great lengths to keep my mind off this lately, and I don't want to think about it now!!
So I came home Monday, didn't think about it, went back to work and volunteering and getting through the last 3 weeks of the semester. This already hasn't been the best week. I went to my great-grandmother's funeral on Tuesday, and then Wednesday I was leaving my house to walk to the gym when I sprained my ankle and face-planted on the sidewalk, 10 feet from the front door, resulting in horrendous looking skinned knees and a hugely swollen ankle. Awesome.
I was doing great, until yesterday evening. My parents got home from work (I'm living with them while I finish grad school, which initially seemed like a wonderful idea but has become a nightmare... whole other story) and my dad says he needs to talk to me about me and BF. Immediate thought: what did I do now?!
We sit down to talk and he hands me his phone... BF texted him to ask if he can meet for lunch on Friday (tomorrow). WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?!! YES it is super exciting but if BF wanted me to know he would have told me!!!!!! And I kept telling myself that until he asked my dad he wouldn't ask me (he's very big on tradition) and now that I know he is very likely going to ask him TOMORROW, then I'm going to have to start fighting the battle of NOT thinking about it all over again.
Sorry it is so long/whiny, but I had to tell someone or my head was going to explode. I would tell someone IRL but then that would only perpetuate the wedding talk that I am trying to avoid... This is stressful and I don't like it
Any feedback would be much appreciated!