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Saying good-bye to Beau Prince (FI's dog)

Last night was honestly one of the hardest nights of my life.  I had to sit helpless while my FI broke down over the phone because his beloved Beau is most likely going to be put to sleep today, that is if he made it through the night.  Beau Prince is only 4 years old - a chocolate lab that my FI loves like his own son.  FI called me Tuesday night and said that he thought Beau was acting strange because he didn't run around like usual when let off his leash.  I told him to wait another day and see - maybe he was just having a rough day.  Then yesterday I get a panicked phone call from FI saying he is rushing Beau to the vet ER.  He said that when he went to pee it was pure blood and then moments later Beau just fell over like he fainted.  When he got to the vet he was told that he has heartworm bad.  From what I understand, when it gets to that point there really isn't anything they can do - for all you dog lovers, is that true?  The vet gave him a few shots and kept him over night and told FI that they would see if he made it through the night - he said there was a surgery that could be done but it's quite expensive and usually the dogs don't even make it through.  I have a feeling the vet was just trying to prepare FI for Beau dying...

This really made the whole LDR really difficult last night - I wanted so badly to just jump in my car and head down there... But, I am going down this weekend so that makes it a little better...

So, say a little prayer for our little Beau Prince!

Re: Saying good-bye to Beau Prince (FI's dog)

  • edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry :'(

    I wish I could help but I dont know much about heartworm. I had a dog that had heartworm when he found her (she was a stray) but I don't remember much about it because I was only 5 or 6 at the time she was treated.
     
    prayer sent...keep us posted.
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
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    edited December 2011
    Oh honey! That is so sad...I'm so sorry!  I really don't know anything about heartworm.  My dogs have meds once every 6 months so they don't get it.  That's all I know:/

    You guys are in my thoughts - give FI a big hug from all of us!

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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the thoughts girls...  It's definitly a sad time...  Should find out more this morning - FI is waiting to hear from the vet...

    Also, for anyone who has had to put their dog asleep - Did you stay there while they did it?  I told FI that if that is what has to be done that I thought he should be there with him.... I'm wondering if I should have kept that thought to myself?  I guess that's really a decision FI has to make for himself, I just think in the long run it will make it easier for him to deal with - as strange as that sounds...
  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
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    edited December 2011

    I've never been there when they did it...I couldn't handle it.  But when we took our cat in to be put to sleep (she was really old and had cancer...couldn't eat...ugh it makes me sad to think about it...) the vet let me pet her and hold her for as long as I needed.  She also suggested that we bring something familliar for her to take out back.  So when they put her to sleep she was curled up in her fav. blanket with one of my socks that she liked to steal.  So I dunno...it would really be up to your FI but he should talk with the vet and see what they're both comfortable with.


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  • edited December 2011
    FI did say that he thinks he'd want to be there with him...  It's absolutely killing me that I can't be there...  I'm tellin ya, if you could have heard FI on the phone last night it would have broken anyone's heart - he was just sobbing and blaming himself over and over.  So, so sad :(
  • edited December 2011
    Cry
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  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    sorry jeter : (

    This is all too fresh in my memory as we had to put our Woody down this Christmas. (right after we got engaged actually) and it was an awful time.

    I wasn't able to be there, but my Dad went with him while he was put down. If he can stomach it, I would tell your FI to go. I would have loved to be there to rub his head and hug him to make him feel not scared. It might help him with closure too.

    Then we buried him in our backyard and had a little service with my family.

    Praying for your puppy : (


  • edited December 2011

    Thanks kat... Sorry to hear about Woody :(  And I was thinking the same - I think it would help him with closure alot if he were able to be there with him and be able to see him resting peacefully...

  • edited December 2011
    This is so sad! I'm sorry you and your FI have to go through this, especially long distance. I know how you feel with not being able to be right there with your FI. My sister's kitty died last fall and when she called me crying, I just felt so helpless! It seriously broke my heart.

    If it was me, I would be in the room with the vet... =(
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks Jennifer... Yes, it's tough to feel SO helpless - I mean, what can I even say to make him feel better? There are just no words I guess.  The only thing that makes me feel a little better is that I am going to be heading down this weekend to visit, so I will at least be able to be there for him...
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear this. I can't be of much help becuase I've never really had pets. I know it would be hard to want to be with FI and not be able to. At least you get to see him soon.
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  • jgcohnjgcohn member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We had a cat named Rudy that my family had from when I was a year old until I was like 17 and we had to put her down.  We were all in the room when it happened.  It was increadibly sad, but we all felt we needed to be with her for her last breaths.  I definitely think he should be in the room, it makes you feel like you were there with your baby until the end.

    Sorry you guys have to go through this! It's not a fun part of life =(
    Does your FI have a good picture of Beau Prince?  You could get one framed for him if you think that's something he might like.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry that ya'll are having to go through this! I'm seriously getting teary just thinking about it. I would definitely encourage your FI to be with him and have some of Beau's favorite things with them, but to not rush saying good bye. It'll be really hard, but will make FI feel better to know he was there for him the whole time.

    And this poem is really sad, but comforting at the same time:

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remembered them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to break away from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. YOU have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
  • edited December 2011

    loopy - Thanks.. I've never really had animals before either so this is a bit foreign to me.. I just know that he has always treated this dog as a part of the family and how hard it is for him to let go... Especially with him only being 4..

    jg - Awww....that's what I keep thinking - I really think if it were me I'd want to be in the room so that he would feel more calm during his last moments...  Thanks for the idea of framing a picture - I might do that!

  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto to jg. You may want to try and find some kind of token item to help him. For ex. We found a Christmas ornament that looked like Woody and said it would always be the first one on the tree. It kind of helps the situation knowing that he'll be part of the future.
  • edited December 2011
    We had to put 2/3 of our dogs down within 9 months of eachother. The third had an appointment to be put down at 10am but passed in my moms arms at 8 am. It was the best thing for my mom since she didn't know if she was doing the right thing.

    With our other dogs my mom was with them. They were both labs and she planned to have them buried at home so the vet actually gave them the shot in the car so they wouldn't have to carry them out. I don't think I could leave my dog and the vet and just walk away. I'd want to be with them when they go. Whatever he decides to do, DON'T watch Marley and Me...EVER. It will ruin your entire week/month/year, especially if you've had a lab.
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  • edited December 2011
    I am so very sorry to hear that, Jeter. My throat started to close up a little bit - I cannot stand to hear/see animals in pain. I hope your FI's pup makes it through. My two pups are old men, but healthy as far as we know, so I don't know anything about heartworm.

    You know, sometimes the vet comes to the house to put the animal down there, in a familiar environment, so it doesn't have to go through the trauma of a car ride. Hopefully this can be an option for your FI.

    I'm so, so, so sorry.

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  • edited December 2011

     

    My family lab was named Beau as well.  As much as I love my dogs now, he will always hold a special place in my heart.
  • edited December 2011
    I knew this would make me cry.

    I don't have much experience with heartworms, especially late-stage. I do know the disease is very common in this area, and if caught early a vast majority of dogs are treated without problems. But it sounds like poor Beau is just too far along.

    I have lost several dogs. One lived to be 14 (my childhood buddy.... that was so difficult!), and the most recent (3 years ago) was Molly, who was only 3. She broke free from her leash at my parents' house and managed to get into something poisonous before returning home only 20 minutes later. From what my mom told me, it was horrible. She made it through one night at the vet's office but went into liver failure and my mom chose to put her to sleep.

    I felt so incredibly guilty. I wasn't there. I didn't bring her with me when I moved.

    It's hard to let go of the guilt, and your FI will need to mourn. He did the best he could, and I'm sure he gave Beau a wonderful, happy life. If you and your FI are really intimate (I assume you are), I don't think you were out of place suggesting he stay with Beau. I would, given the chance.

    I hate to think of it, but eventually when it's time to let go of my cats, I will be there in the room, no matter how painful it is for me. They're my babies, and I can't imagine letting them go alone.

    I know you feel helpless, but just be there for him. You don't have to do anything special. Right now he probably just needs to talk without worrying about being judged for his emotions.

    I just want to hug your FI. This whole thing just sucks so much.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Kelsey - That poem just made me cry like a baby... it's beautiful though..

    Kathleen - Oh yes, I'll never let him see Marley & Me.. that movie was just too heartbreaking!!

    bella - Thank you for your thoughts...

    Mut - That's so sweet that your family dog was name Beau too...


    Update:  I just got a phone call from FI and he is on his way over to the vet to say good-bye to Beau - they decided it was best to put him to sleep.  I tried to tell FI that it would probably be good for him to stay but he says he just can't handle it so he is going to just go in and say his good-byes.  I'm sooo heartbroken for him, especially that I'm not even there...  Thank you all for all your kind thoughts!!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks Jeana...  Yes, I'm just letting him know that I'm here and that's all I can do until I get down there tomorrow.  He keeps saying he feels like a "bawling idiot" but it REALLY touches me that he can care enough about a dog to show that kind of emotion, even though it absolutely kills me to hear him cry.  And guilt is a big thing on his heart right now - he keeps saying over and over how guilty he feels and that it's his fault because he didn't catch it sooner..  :(   I'll be sure to give him a hug from you!
  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh Jeter I'm so sorry hunny!!  *big hugs*

    I know your FI is heartbroken but it's not his fault! I'm sure they had a wonderful life together.  I know thinking about all the good times can help - sometimes we still remince about our  cat that passed on October.  Just about how funny he was, a little silly things he did.  It really helps to remember them like that.

    I can't even imagine losing my pugs...like Jeana said, they're my children! But I know he'll feel a better once you're there with him..  Give him big hugs from us.  Losing a loved pet is hard. 

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    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
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    edited December 2011
    And I know you want to get there to be with him but for jebus' sake take it slow...No accidents!! =-P

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    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    That's what he keeps saying to "He was like my son".  I asked him again if he wanted to stay with him and he said no, that he just wanted to go in and say good-bye and tell him he'd see him again someday. 

    And yes, Paige - I promise to drive carefully tomorrow - although you're right, I want to get there as fast as possible..!
  • edited December 2011
    Aww, Jeter, I'm bawling like a baby now. Poor Jeter's FI. Cry
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  • edited December 2011
    I know Jeana... I've been crying all day... He just left the vet and said his good-byes... Beau will probably be gone within the hour :(  

    This stinks, big time.
  • edited December 2011
    I think what makes it even harder is that it was SO unexpected.  I mean he went from running around being his crazy self on Monday to this....
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