Not Engaged Yet

"I sure hope he doesn't die first" - Me ***UPDATED***

Yeah.  That was the quote of the night last night.  We went to meet the JOP that is supposed to marry us and it wasn't exactly a comforting experience.

#1 The man is well into his 80's and seems a bit forgetful. 
#2  The "backyard garden" had dead plants and flowers every where. 
#3 We were there about 5 minutes, he kept saying over and over the date of our wedding and time - I asked him to please write it down.  Then he dismissed us.

When we got in the car I looked over at FI and said "Um, I sure hope he doesn't die first".  FI started laughing hysterically and said "I was thinking that exact thing!" 

I honestly don't know what to do at this point.  I'm not even sure if he will do an actual ceremony or if he will just sign the papers and that be it.  If I wanted that, we'd just skip the whole thing and go to the court house.  This morning I am looking at other options.  I feel that I want a more memorable ceremony so I am going to talk to our chaplain/minister here at work that I am close to about performing the ceremony instead.  We're also talking about changing it to the weekend before rather than that Thursday before we leave.  I originally wanted to be able to get married and then us head off to the honeymoon right away but now I'm thinking it may be more convenient and less stressful if we do it the weekend before.  Only problem is I have to see if they will be able to get my dress done on time. 

Ugh!  I thought eloping was supposed to be stress-free!  I just want to be married dangit.

**UPDATE**
I just had a talk with my minister friend and she is more than happy to marry us that day.  I feel SO much better about this decision because I feel she will make it alot more personal and memorable.  Phew!

Re: "I sure hope he doesn't die first" - Me ***UPDATED***

  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yikes. I hope you can figure something out. If you haven't invested any money with the guy you met last night I think you should try to work something else out if you can. Especially since you have concerns about old dude and you do want your wedding ceremony to be memorable. In a good way.
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  • edited December 2011
    Haha - yeah, my luck he'd have a stroke in the middle of the ceremony.  And no, we haven't invested any money in him yet.  I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator....this could have all been avoided if I would have planned ahead. 
  • squishy17squishy17 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow I think I would try to look into other options just in case! You never know you may find something unexpected and way better! Don't settle on something thats not going to make you happy :( Hopefully it works out for you!
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If you're not comfortable with him, then definitely look into other options!  If you have a friend who is a judge or minister, then have them do it!  My grandma got married in our living room, and it was absolutely beautiful - we had a friend who is a judge officiate, and it was smooth and simple and personal.  You can pick a public park or a friend's yard or whatever you want!

    Good luck!!!

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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks girls... 

    FI just told me that I'm worrying too much about it.  My response was "The man looks like he may not even live til then and may have alzheimers - and you think I'm worrying too much?!"  LOL Geeeez. 
  • edited December 2011
    Hey Jeter - forget all the stress, just fly out here to Vegas and my FI & I will be happy to be your witnesses :)
  • edited December 2011
    That is VERRRRYYYYY tempting Angie!
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Heck, Jeter, just drive to Miami - gorgeous beaches, and I'm sure we can strong-arm a judge into doing it for you!  :-)

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  • edited December 2011
    Hah.  It's all very tempting at this point. 

    I'm a bit calmer now - FI is great at making me feel better about things.  We've decided I am going to call this JOP guy and talk to him about what he typically does at a ceremony and see about fixing the dead flowers issue.  In the meantime, I'm still going to talk to my minister friend and see if she's available to do it that day, just in case.  Oh, and we're going to go ahead and stick to the original date of that Thursday.
  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I personally would go with your gut. You are onviously not 100% comfortable with the JOP and the garden sounds nothing like you would expect.. I am really sorry you keep running into hurdles and I know you will find a way to work it out. Don't get too down or caught up in the bad stuff just take  a deep breath and realize you CAN be picky and still elope. Sending you lots of love and support <3
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  • babybchbumbabybchbum member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm so glad you have options... options make everything so much better and relaxing
  • deburnindeburnin member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was half expecting the update to be that he had died. 
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Do you have some options in mind for if your minister friend did it? B/c it might be weird to tell the geezer "Hey, we don't trust you to marry us, but we still want to use your yard. "


    Okay, OBVIOUSLY you would not still use his yard. But I'm curious what the other location options are. :)
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sure-hope-doesnt-die-first?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:def9c44b-0a7b-4678-981d-0a9749b38afbPost:73e3cf7b-56fd-462d-a70a-4112f4472677">Re: "I sure hope he doesn't die first" - Me ***UPDATED***</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was half expecting the update to be that he had died. 
    Posted by deburnin[/QUOTE]


    Me too!
    It sounds like the garden and the officiant aren't going to work out which is in a way too bad because the potential for it to be nice must have been great. I'm sure that it will all fall in place for your wedding day though-- let us know what your minister friend says.
  • edited December 2011
    dburnin - LOL!  That's hilarious...in a morbid sort of way.

    tafft - TY, you always know what to say!  I'm feeling alot better about things today.  And either way, we'll be married and that's what matters to me :)

    desert - Hah - no we definitly won't be using his "garden".  My minister friend says she had a nice backyard or even her neighbors as well - we're going to go look this week.  Also, she has connections if we wanted to use a small chapel aswell.  I feel so much more comfortable with her because I know her and she will spend time with me on what we want for the ceremony. 
  • Beads921Beads921 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Glad you seem to have gotten it straightened out - the other guy didn't sound like a good fit at all.
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