Nothing to see here!

csousa1

DD

cu97tiger

That is the suck...

swhite2012

I guess I'm wondering why "her" guests need to not come just because she doesn't want to come. Why can't the sister still come and have fun with her new sister in law?

bethsmiles

Why can't the other bride's people still come? I would text them and let them know that the other bride will no longer be attending the event but they are still welcome to enjoy a night out with all of you.

Maybe you should just make some calls to the people who haven't let you know if they are coming or not.

peekaboo2011

Exactly.  Just keep the guest list the same, and send out an email that says that she is no longer going to be in attendance (that way they know who will be there).

As far as the hotel, etc, give them until tomorrow and then start calling. 

csousa1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ive-effing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e0b44b4c-9bc8-4c59-ab9c-4032a3bbf41cPost:84590d2f-df0b-4834-b1e5-e515919dd671">Re: I've about effing had it</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm wondering why "her" guests need to not come just because she doesn't want to come. Why can't the sister still come and have fun with her new sister in law?
Posted by swhite2012[/QUOTE]

I wondered the same thing, and thought maybe my BFF's FSILs would still be invited. But when she gave me the updated invite list, they were not on it.

It does make some sense - they aren't all terribly close to her, and she is having some (valid) frustration with some of them of late. Plus they all have little kids and most have already said they would be very limited on what we do. I think my friend just wanted to have her closest friends and BMs there, which is certainly within her right to decide.

Elle1036

Sorry this has been such a headache for you, Sousa.  You've been a really good friend to do everything you've done.

lunarsongbird

Wait...I'm confused. Is this a double bachelorette party? Or are two ladies getting married? Iz confused. LOL

csousa1

Hahaha Lunar. Two ladies are getting married. My BFF and her FI. Originally the b-party was supposed to be for both of them together, with guest lists entwined, but now BFF's FI does not want one. Which is really fine, I respect her decision, I just can't believe how many road blocks have been thrown up in this pre-wedding party planning process. Maybe it is always this complicated - this is my first experience with planning a shower or b-party, so I wouldn't know!

csousa1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ive-effing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e0b44b4c-9bc8-4c59-ab9c-4032a3bbf41cPost:573f771c-2222-4f4e-91eb-aa422d91b47d">Re: I've about effing had it</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry this has been such a headache for you, Sousa.  You've been a really good friend to do everything you've done.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

Thanks Elle :) What it all really boils down to, is that I want my BFF to get the bachelorette she deserves. If it ends up being a bust, I will feel responsible and as though I let her down. I let myself get way too worked up about things like that, when in reality she would never see it that way. 

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ive-effing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e0b44b4c-9bc8-4c59-ab9c-4032a3bbf41cPost:6fb77e7b-1983-4212-9426-2ad35cbbcc31">Re: I've about effing had it</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've about effing had it : Thanks Elle :) What it all really boils down to, is that I want my BFF to get the bachelorette she deserves. If it ends up being a bust, I will feel responsible and as though I let her down. I let myself get way too worked up about things like that, when in reality she would never see it that way. 
Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]

It's the effort that matters.  As long as she knows how hard you've worked on all of this stuff, she'll be happy.  The actual result is secondary.

Trust me.

csousa1

*Headdesk*

BFF's sister, who may or may not be going into an extended program for teenagers with depression that would make her miss everything right through the wedding (and does not know anything about this possibility yet), just messaged me saying that she will OF COURSE be spending the night!

Five seconds later, another person RSVP'ed saying they couldn't afford to split hotel costs but would appreciate being able to crash on the floor.

???????????

becunning2

Hugs...  that's total craziness.  I don't think it's that complicated normally, but I don't speak from experience here.

lunarsongbird

Is it two ladies getting married to EACH OTHER? If this is the case...then yes- it's always that complicated. Too much estrogen! LOL. I'm sure this isn't the case with a lot of lady couples...but holy heck- I can't imagine a lady trying to put up with me! I'm CRAZY!

So you think your BFF will be kinda bummed missing out on her bachelorette party? If your BFF still wants one...I say let her FI's family still come- More the merrier, I think!

ETA:
Oh gosh...it doesn't work that way. Arg. Sorry, Csousa...this SUCKS!

lunarsongbird

How messy....yeeeah....BFF's FI definitely needs to let her side of the family know that her side of the family won't be participating... :-/ Ick.

I also deleted my quotes...

csousa1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ive-effing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e0b44b4c-9bc8-4c59-ab9c-4032a3bbf41cPost:c8a45aac-420a-4252-a46a-63b25ad34921">Re: I've about effing had it</a>:
[QUOTE]How messy....yeeeah....BFF's FI definitely needs to let her side of the family know that her side of the family won't be participating... :-/ Ick. I also deleted my quotes...
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

I really just meant not to quote the OP, but thank you :) I may indeed go around deleting everything at this point haha :)

lunarsongbird

Do you think I can contact an airline and askthem for a free flight if I sit in the aisle?

csousa1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ive-effing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e0b44b4c-9bc8-4c59-ab9c-4032a3bbf41cPost:fd0a5056-b22a-4980-8fb7-4fb4660190df">Re: I've about effing had it</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you think I can contact an airline and askthem for a free flight if I sit in the aisle?
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

Hahahaha right? I told him it did not look like many people would be staying over (for him to mooch off of) but I would let him know.

lunarsongbird

And I just have to say....I really don't like when people bring friends as their guests to a wedding. Is that bad?

I found out one time that Andrew's bestfriend (male) brought HIM as a wedding guest and I flipped out. LOL. I was like, "I can't believe you, Andrew! That's so rude!"

oceana919

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ive-effing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e0b44b4c-9bc8-4c59-ab9c-4032a3bbf41cPost:616b221d-239e-4b35-93e9-c87152bead4f">Re: I've about effing had it</a>:
[QUOTE]And I just have to say....I really don't like when people bring friends as their guests to a wedding. Is that bad? I found out one time that Andrew's bestfriend (male) brought HIM as a wedding guest and I flipped out. LOL. I was like, "I can't believe you, Andrew! That's so rude!"
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

I honestly don't have a problem with that, particularly if it's a situation where the guest literally does not know anyone there but the bride and groom. We had a friend of ours that literally only knew me (she met my DH for the first time at the wedding) and she brought her best friend as her +1 so she'd feel more comfortable. I didn't have a problem with it.