BF's mom update :)

kellyt89

I've been wanting to write this all day but TK was closed!

So BF hurt his next last weekend when I was visiting him (so badly that he couldn't move and needed help to get in and out of bed) and I had to take him to a chiropractor, get him medicine and ice packs and stuff. He was a little better on Sunday but I ended up staying until Monday at noon and missing a day of school.

Anyway, his mom wrote me the nicest FB message thanking me for taking care of him while he was hurt, how much she and his dad appreciated it, etc. I've always been afraid she didn't like me (not disliked me, persay, but just was sort of "meh" about me...especially in light of my not being Catholic) and this seriously made my day. They're nice people but he's the only child and his mom is pretty protective - so for her to reach out to me is a big deal.

BF told me she's never done anything like that with any other GF's he's had (his parents hated his last GF and, to be hoenst, she was awful). So it meant a lot to both of us.

I figured you ladies would appreciate this and enjoy it a little like I did. I hope you all had good weekends and are looking forward to Turkey Day soo soon!!

ravenray

Did he hurt his neck?  I am glad she was so nice, that always gives you warm fuzzies

kellyt89

yeah, it was super random. He woke up Saturday morning and couldn't move his neck. The chiropractor said that he had inflamed the muscles around his facet joints. We're guessing sleeping in the crummy grad dorm beds (which really aren't for 2 people...) made him sleep funny and irritated the muscles in his neck while he was asleep.

It did give me the warm fuzzies haha

Swazzle

Aww that's really sweet!

[Deleted User]

How nice of her to take the time to send you that message!

Lil B Mama

That's sweet of her, nothing like feeling accepted by the "in-laws"

dwest2201

Aww, I'm glad that she sent you that message.  I think that it shows that she really appreciated it a lot!  Always nice to get some recognition for being awesome!

When BF and I started dating I wasn't Catholic, BF rarely went to mass and then he started attending my non-denominational church.  I thought his parents would be really upset that he was attending my church instead, when the issue finally came up his mom was bragging about how "I got him to go back to church" and that she didn't care if it wasn't their church.  I felt so much better.  Once BF and I had some serious talks about marriage and raising a family I told him that I wanted to learn more about Catholicism and signed up for RCIA.  I explained to the priest and deacon that I may not actually convert, but felt that in order for BF and I to raise a family together we needed to both be familiar with and respectful of each others beliefs.  We broke of our engagement shortly after it began and I still went through with it...that's how much the RCIA process touched me personally.

ETA: Sorry for the thread jack about Catholicism.  Disregard if you are not interested at all.  If you are though, I'd be glad to answer any questions, etc. 

kellyt89

dwest, thank you for your unput! I was raised Catholic and went to 12 years of Sunday School, so I know the drill but it's always nice to know someone who has dealt with inter-faith sort of stuff.

I'm actually very cautiously looking into Judaism lately (my parents will probably go a little nuts lol) but it's been very important for me to learn about BF's personal beliefs and for us to talk about how we want to navigate through raising children together. Any advice you could offer on that would be really helpful.

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bfs-mom-update?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e0d1c508-233c-44e2-b95d-d7748f4f26a1Post:d632c46a-78c0-493b-b0a3-12356f9bf83e">Re: BF's mom update :)</a>:
[QUOTE]dwest, thank you for your unput! I was raised Catholic and went to 12 years of Sunday School, so I know the drill but it's always nice to know someone who has dealt with inter-faith sort of stuff. I'm actually very cautiously looking into Judaism lately (my parents will probably go a little nuts lol) but it's been very important for me to learn about BF's personal beliefs and for us to talk about how we want to navigate through raising children together. Any advice you could offer on that would be really helpful.
Posted by kellyt89[/QUOTE]

It sounds like you are on the right track.  I do not think that it is important to be of the same religious background, or practice the same religion to be able to raise a family together.  So long as you are both willing to learn about each other's beliefs and respect them I think that it can work nicely.  Take your time and consider the options, read, read, read, visit new churches/synagogues.  There is a religion board on TK somewhere, I looked and posted a little there when BF (who is also my exFI) proposed and we were figuring things out to get married in the church.

I honestly had no intention of ever becoming Catholic, my Dad's whole family is "Catholic", I use the quotes because they claim to be but none of my close relatives ever go to mass, except for weddings and funerals and the way that they spoke of the CCD classes made it seem horrible.  I told BF when we were first dating that hearing things from my family made it seem very undesirable and he was okay with it, he later admitted that it was something that made him pause and think am I okay with getting serious with someone who is not interested in becoming Catholic.  Ultimately our connection was more important to him. 

I honestly thought that I was happy with my  non-denominational mega church and the beliefs there.  Once we talked more about our future I decided that I needed to go to his church and become more familiar with the beliefs, routines, etc.  Once we started going regularly I was intrigued and wanted to learn more.  I honestly took the learning very seriously and did a lot of reading and soul searching prior to and during the RCIA process.  I do not feel that I would have gotten nearly as much out of it if I had gone through it at a younger age, or if it were pushed on me. 
No matter what you and your BF believe or are considering I would just encourage you to be sure to talk about it with each other.  Make sure that you are both of the understanding that if one person wants to be a certain religion and the other doesn't that it is okay and can still work.  Do not make a decision about something so personal based on what you think will be better or easier down the road.  It would be horrible to compromise on something so personal and regret it later. 

kellyt89

Thanks so much! We've both been doing a lot of soul searching since the first time we had a discussion about this (after only about 5 months of dating - eek! That was scary...) and have come pretty far in the 7 1/2 months since then.

We both really respect each other's beliefs and I think that's the most important thing. I *never* thought I would get serious with someone who was Catholic after everything I went through trying to distance myself from it but I actually think that it makes our faith stronger to talk about it and learn from each other. Talking about religion has gone from something that was tough and sort of treacherous to something we actually really enjoy doing, which I absolutely love.

God definitely has a sense of humor.

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bfs-mom-update?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e0d1c508-233c-44e2-b95d-d7748f4f26a1Post:8caeefa6-08ea-4151-94c5-c32f8a2f7372">Re: BF's mom update :)</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks so much! We've both been doing a lot of soul searching since the first time we had a discussion about this (after only about 5 months of dating - eek! That was scary...) and have come pretty far in the 7 1/2 months since then. We both really respect each other's beliefs and I think that's the most important thing. I *never* thought I would get serious with someone who was Catholic after everything I went through trying to distance myself from it but I actually think that it makes our faith stronger to talk about it and learn from each other. Talking about religion has gone from something that was tough and sort of treacherous to something we actually really enjoy doing, which I absolutely love. <strong>God definitely has a sense of humor. :)
</strong>Posted by kellyt89[/QUOTE]

That is absolutely right.  We make plans; God laughs.

That is great that you and your BF are in it together and really talking and becoming stronger along the way.