Whitney from Alabama - New Here!

Whitney9x

Screen Name: Whitney9x
Age: 24
Significant Other's Age: 21 (22 in December)
What You Do: I'm a magistrate at a Municipal Court in Alabama.
What SO Does: He's a driver for a supply company ... it's a new position, that's the best thing I can think to call it at the moment.
State of Relationship: Recently got back together after a brief separation and found out that this is it, we're ready to start planning our future together. We have started looking at rings and tossing wedding dates around. (Oct. 2012, April 2013 or Oct. 2013, maybe)
How Long You've Been Together: a little over a year
How You Met: at a drag strip, through mutual friends
Wedding Date (if you're engaged/married):
Real Babies:
Fur Babies: Katie, a 5 year old English Bulldog.. she's the boss, trust me.
Loves: motorsports, reading, good food, pictures, sunsets, traveling...
Hates: smoking, bad drivers, laziness
Pet Peeves: kind of in line with my hates... it's late, I may elaborate later when my head is more together
Hobbies/Activities: drag racing! Yes, I race.. not just him.  
Favorite Thing About Your SO: he's so good for me. He makes me feel good about myself, makes me a better person, and loves me unconditionally. I don't think there is anyone else out there like him for me.
Least Favorite Thing About Your SO: lack of indepence.. but it's gotten so much better over time. He's on the short side too.. but of course that was never a deal breaker! haha I'm 5'10, in his defense. 
Describe Your Personality: kind of introverted, unfortunately.. sarcastic, funny, sensitive
Snark Level (1 [low snark] - 10 [high snark]): honestly.. not sure what that is
I've Been On TK Since: I don't remember exactly. I have been registered since my first failed near engagement a few years ago. (He cheated.) I became active again about a month or so ago, I guess.
How You Came to Be On TK: What girl doesn't love the idea of a fairy tale happily ever after? I figured this was my first step in starting mine.
How I like my potatoes: garlic mashed or loaded baked
Favorite book/author: I like a lot of murder mystery type stuff. I have read everything by Charlaine Harris & Jackie Collins. I'm working on The Undead Series by Mary Janice Davidson and the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich (sp? again, it's late..) right now. I also like books dealing with women in motorsports. I like to keep it light in general. I love to read.Tell Us Something Interesting About Yourself: Not much left to say is there? haha I have a BFA in Studio Art with a concentration in Photography.. bought my first home last May. I have one sister who is currently living with me. What else would you like to know?

bethsmiles

When you say you've been together a year, does that mean since getting back together or total? How long have you been back together?

fraycou

What part of Alabama? I'm from there also.

Whitney9x

Total is a year.. back together since the beginning of August

I'm from just north of Birmingham. p.s. WAR EAGLE!

bethsmiles

Is there a reason for the rush in getting engaged/married after getting back together so recently?

Whitney9x

We aren't intentionally "rushing" into anything. Just taking it as it comes and doing what feels right when it feels right. I think everyone's situation is different. I'm not pregnant or anything like that. He's actually a virgin, believe it or not! 

bethsmiles

I wasn't hinting that you are pregnant or anything like that it just seems strange for a couple to begin talking marriage right after getting back together. It doesn't seem like you took much time to work on the issues that caused the break ups in the first place.

Are you and him abstaining from sex until marriage?

Whitney9x

Yes we are abstaining. 

I don't really know what I am supposed to give as evidence of our relationship. Just because we are talking about rings and throwing ideas around does not mean we will be engaged tomorrow. If he were to propose in the near future, would I say yes? Of course, because a life with him is what I want. I am not rushing him, and he is not rushing me.

We would not have gotten back together if I did not see him in my future. We were in contact the whole time we were "apart," and have technically been working on any issues we have had throughout the entire year.

bethsmiles

No need to get defensive I'm just asking questions. I'm not judging you or your relationship.

Whitney9x

It's fine, I'm not trying to come off as defensive, per say. I just want to correct perceptions that we seem strange or that we didn't spend time on any issues. I didn't really know how else reply.

dwest2201

Hi Whitney, I think you answered the questions fine.  It's hard to know if someone is being accusative in their questioning (Beth is super sweet, but I doubt you know that yet) or if the responder is being defensive or just answering questions (none of us know you yet).  I think it's good that you pointed out that you all are discussing the future, rings and dates, but aren't rushing or pushing for it to happen.

Personally, I think that there are things that some people break up easily over, whether it is due to maturity, lack or experience with dating, whatever where others would work through it without a split.  I can relate to your situation as my exFI/current BF (same guy) was one who had only had one serious relationship before me (it was 6 months/long distance and ended as soon as any issue arose) was the person who didn't deal well with conflict and thought that it meant things were doomed.  I wouldn't have broke up with him or broke off our engagement, but I've come to understand and appreciate why he did and we've gotten past that and are a lot better at sorting through issues now.  When we decided to give it another go it was with the understanding on both of our parts that we were in it for hte long haul, going to meet with a deacon/counselor and make ti work because being apart was miserable, even after months. 

Based on what you've said and my personal experiences I just want to say make sure that you two have gotten all your issues out on the table and worked through them prior to getting engaged. planning a wedding and actually saying I do.  Good Luck!

ravenray

Welcome! 

How do you feel about cheese?