Wow...

marleylikeair

Okay, so I get it...you already-marrieds and already-engageds are tired of girls whining that they don't have a rock on their finger yet. You're tired of hearing women wax rhapsodic about their favorite flower arrangement ideas when they're not even engaged yet.

I get it. I really do. It can get a little tiresome.

Buuuuuuut...

This board is called "Not Engaged Yet"!

...

Hello?! That's partly what NEY is here for! We not-yet-engageds are in love and know who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Because boys are slow creatures, we're waiting for them to figure it out, too. Fantasizing is fun. Waiting is hard. Seriously, sometimes all people want is a little understanding and a place to vent!

I absolutely agree that it's best to just enjoy the time you have *now* instead of constantly anticipating and letting your impatience get the best of you. You all make very good points. But please, lighten up! You're starting to make this lurker/newbie think twice about joining in on the discussions!

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:8f63cb09-b978-4b72-b572-157bb3d4af13">Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, so I get it...you already-marrieds and already-engageds are tired of girls whining that they don't have a rock on their finger yet. You're tired of hearing women wax rhapsodic about their favorite flower arrangement ideas when they're not even engaged yet. I get it. I really do. It can get a little tiresome. Buuuuuuut... This board is called "Not Engaged Yet"! ... Hello?! That's partly what NEY is here for! We not-yet-engageds are in love and know who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Because boys are slow creatures, we're waiting for them to figure it out, too. Fantasizing is fun. Waiting is hard. Seriously, sometimes all people want is a little understanding and a place to vent! I absolutely agree that it's best to just enjoy the time you have *now* instead of constantly anticipating and letting your impatience get the best of you. You all make very good points. But please, lighten up! You're starting to make this lurker/newbie think twice about joining in on the discussions!
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Actually, with all the lurking, you'd know that quite a few girls on here are NEY. And we still agree that planning before engagement = bad.

Seriously, if you want to post then great! But it's when the craziness that comes out when people want to plan their wedding
rightnowthisveryinstantscrewtheproposal, where the problem lies.

And we're open to venting and impatience. Which is why the girls offer good, solid advice: be patient. Wait. It'll come eventually. What else would you be looking for? It's honest advice.

EDIT: Marley, I should clarify that I'm NEY. But I'm also not planning.

[Deleted User]

There is HUGE difference between day-dreaming and looking at ideas and PLANNING. 

Elle1036

Marley, pretty much everyone on this board has been guilty of that impatience at some point.  What else would lead us to a board called "not engaged yet" on a wedding website?  So, like Bren mentioned, I don't think anyone here has a problem with a little venting, and we're happy to either comiserate or try to talk you down.

What we make fun of are things like girls going dress shopping, calling vendors, or using countdown tickers before they're actually engaged.

[Deleted User]

Wait a minute.  And who are you agian?  5 posts and this is how you're introducing yourself?

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:8f63cb09-b978-4b72-b572-157bb3d4af13">Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, so I get it...you already-marrieds and already-engageds are tired of girls whining that they don't have a rock on their finger yet. You're tired of hearing women wax rhapsodic about their favorite flower arrangement ideas when they're not even engaged yet. I get it. I really do. It can get a little tiresome. Buuuuuuut... This board is called "Not Engaged Yet"! ... Hello?! That's partly what NEY is here for! We not-yet-engageds are in love and know who we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Because boys are slow creatures, we're waiting for them to figure it out, too. Fantasizing is fun. Waiting is hard. Seriously, sometimes all people want is a little understanding and a place to vent! I absolutely agree that it's best to just enjoy the time you have *now* instead of constantly anticipating and letting your impatience get the best of you. You all make very good points. But please, lighten up! You're starting to make this lurker/newbie think twice about joining in on the discussions!
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

We wouldn't be doing anyone any favors by encouraging girls to plan before they're engaged.

Frankly, if you spend a lot of time, for example, poring over all the photos of flower arrangements on the knot, you are going to get tired of it relatively quickly, and then not have the excitement you SHOULD when you ACTUALLY need to be coming up with centerpieces and bouquets and such.

That's why we pretty much discourage that here. It's hard to know where to draw the line for yourself. And we do it not b/c it's not okay to be impatient or dream. But because we're here to help you deal with that in a HEALTHY way and a way that is going to be helpful to you down the road. We're not here to encourage you to do things that you might later regret.

marleylikeair

But it's when the craziness that comes out when people want to plan their wedding
rightnowthisveryinstantscrewtheproposal, where the problem lies.

Bren--agreed! I'm just saying I think there have been some fairly snarky (IMO)  posts lately that seem to discourage girls who've posted about being impatient or looking at dresses/flowers/whatever. It's one thing to say "you should definitely wait until you're engaged to start planning and putting down deposits", and entirely another to make fun of people who are posting in earnest.

Hey, if I took those posts the wrong way, I'll be the first to recognize that and apologize. I just really think some of the things that have been said lately could be pretty easily taken by newbies as "you're not engaged yet, so what are you doing talking about that?" And when that comes from people who don't have to wait anymore, it just sometimes comes across as a little mean.

Also, I'm well aware that there are plenty of girls on here who aren't engaged.

Anyway, thanks for the replies, ladies. It's been fun reading what you all have to say.

heyimbren

So is this really just another "you girls are so mean!" post? Because I'm getting sick of those.

desertsun

I do think you have a good point, MLA (marleylikeair).

It IS okay to dream and be happy and excited and impatient, and it's okay to talk about those things.

it's when those things are dealt with by PLANNING, to a degree that is beyond simple interest or "someday" kind of thinking that I think it's unhealthy, and I will say so.

But again, it's hard to know where the line is, esp. when someone is a new poster.

So we tend to be a little overreactive sometimes and really jump on people, and it's good to recognize that every so often.

I like this post, MLA.

[Deleted User]

And btw, even if some of us are already engaged or married - we have been there.  We all have been at the pre-engagement stages.  So it's not like we're just making things up - we sorta know what we're talking about from our own personal experiences.

GreenPepperBurger

Whatever, you guys are just bitches who like to sweep in on people's buffet and flower dreams. Ya'll are meanies and I don't want you at my lunch table! *humph*

MissOwl

Marley, I PM'ed you.

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:5b7fc57e-d469-40a9-b1ae-d8c2a2c60a93">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]Whatever, you guys are just bitches who like to sweep in on people's buffet and flower dreams. Ya'll are meanies and I don't want you at my lunch table! *humph*
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

<div>*In a Gretchen Weiners-esqe voice*  Ya can't sit with us!</div><div>
</div><div>On a serious note:</div><div>1) This is a shotty way of introducing yourself.</div><div>2) If you ACTUALLY lurked, you'd realize that we were ALL once at the pre-engaged stage & excited.  The only thing we frown upon are the girls who are PLANNING their weddings who aren't engaged.  Like (I believe it was) Jeter said, daydreaming and PLANING are 2 different things.</div><div>3)  If you really believe that we should become the rainbow fart brigade and start telling girls "No Susie, it's perfectly fine that you're booking a vendor when your BF hasn't proposed yet.  And yes, that china pattern matches perfectly with your wedding dress, so go for it!", then maybe you SHOULD avoid participating in our discussions.</div>

motoLyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:b51ced56-30e4-4ed3-a2c7-b817435ff71e">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:   If you really believe that we should become the rainbow fart brigade
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

LoL! 

I lurked here for a good long while before posting up.  These ladies have a very blunt way of being honest with girls who tend to jump over to the batty side and start planning their weddings before a engagement decision has been made.  A ring  doesn't have to be involved to be engaged.  My approach is to not take everything said here so seriously.  We all have great advice, and experiences to share.  So I'm glad that you're able to take the criticisms along with the praise. 

imJacksPGbelly

I think it's really funny that it's largely the already-engaged or already-married women that seem to run... no, forget "run"...  friggin  gestapo-the-hell-out-of  the Not Engaged Yet board.    Ah, nothing like a little irony to spice up the afternoon.


Damn it, there I go again.  I was determined to sign off for now until I had a rock on my finger (not just a spoken agreement between 2 people, not yet announced, God forbid) before I started posting again, and leave the Third Reich in peace.  But I just couldn't resist, just this once.    And now to sit back with some popcorn and watch the rest of the mayhem unfold.

Man, this is a first.  I wonder if this is how trolls feel.  I have to admit, there is an exhilarating sense of liberation in speaking my mind, realizing I truly don't give a flying unicorn's left nut-hair what replies I get to this.

meamolly

I for one am one of the meanies. I AM NOT ENGAGED. You want to know a little back story on me? have you noticed how long i have been on this site? a long time. part of it comes from me being a brides maid and maid of honor. Most of it was an excuse to pre plan a wedding way back when (I had been dating a guy for three years by then). I started post here this year and I was BSC at first. I spoke with the girls and have come to realise how BSC I was. But guess what, I listened to them as they talked me out of the BSC tree.

It is ok to think about things in passing, it is ok to even save a picture you like every so often. It is kinda bordering on BSC to start polls about what you should do in your wedding before you even are engaged. that is my though, take it as you may.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:198c6c38-120e-4f4c-94dd-181c22bb17f0">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's really funny that it's largely the already-engaged or already-married women that seem to run... no, forget "run"...  friggin  gestapo - the-hell-out-of   the Not Engaged Yet board.  :)  Ah, nothing like a little irony to spice up the afternoon. Damn it, there I go again.  I was determined to sign off for now until I had a rock on my finger (not just a spoken agreement between 2 people, not yet announced, God forbid) before I started posting again, and leave the Third Reich in peace.  But I just couldn't resist, just this once.  ;)  And now to sit back with some popcorn and watch the rest of the mayhem unfold. Man, this is a first.  I wonder if this is how trolls feel.  I have to admit, there is an exhilarating sense of liberation in speaking my mind, realizing I truly don't give a flying unicorn's left nut-hair what replies I get to this.
Posted by imJacksPGbelly[/QUOTE]

I must commend you.  Your indignation is, genuinely, pretty well-written.  And I LOLed.

CASK85

I'm going to be completely honest, both for the benefit of the OP and you ladies who have unknowingly helped me get past a (short) BSC phase of my own (for the record I never posted asking advice during that phase, which was probably a good thing). 

My BF (of 2 years, living together for 1) mentioned this summer that he thought maybe we should get married next fall. We had talked about it in a "someday" kind of way before, but this was the first semi-concrete thing we'd said about it. This drove me into a state of way premature faux-planning our wedding (read: beyond daydreaming about my dress and flowers). Looking at potential ceremony/reception site (online only) thinking of guest lists and budgets and I'm pretty sure I even came up with a plan for any OOT guests. . . it was bad. I was bad. When I presented one of my ideas to BF, he got really quiet and didn't say much. Turns out I freaked him out. . . a lot. 

I started lurking here and not posting when I originally was being BSC. I thought some of the things that were said were harsh, but after a month or so they started to make sense to me. And after freaking out BF I decided I needed to stop being crazy. I was afraid to post here for a while because everyone seemed to know each other and I felt like the transfer student, but then I just slowly inserted myself here and there. . . and now its fine  

The wise women on this board helped me realize that daydreaming about my wedding (or god-forbid, pre-planning it) might be fun, but then you MISS OUT on the moments that you are actually living right now, everyday with the man that you love!  My BF is incredible and we only have so many years on this earth -- I don't want to waste a single second that I SHOULD be cherishing with him on faux-planning ever again. 

So for those of you who feel like we're mean or too quick to pull girls off their high-speed pre-engagement planning train, know this: it is for your own good. Trust me, I'm much happier now that I'm not being crazy.

And to NEY regs: thank you  

::gets off soapbox::

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:198c6c38-120e-4f4c-94dd-181c22bb17f0">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's really funny that it's largely the already-engaged or already-married women that seem to run... no, forget "run"...  friggin  gestapo - the-hell-out-of   the Not Engaged Yet board.  :)  Ah, nothing like a little irony to spice up the afternoon. Damn it, there I go again.  I was determined to sign off for now until I had a rock on my finger (not just a spoken agreement between 2 people, not yet announced, God forbid) before I started posting again, and<strong> leave</strong> <strong>the Third Reich in peace</strong>.  But I just couldn't resist, just this once.  ;)  And now to sit back with some popcorn and watch the rest of the mayhem unfold. Man, this is a first.  I wonder if this is how trolls feel.  I have to admit, there is an exhilarating sense of liberation in speaking my mind, realizing I truly don't give a flying unicorn's left nut-hair what replies I get to this.
Posted by imJacksPGbelly[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Are you effing kidding me?  You should leave.  Anyone who's immature enough to make that comparison isn't even mature enough to use a computer, much less be on a wedding website.</div><div>
</div><div>Here's a tip...OPEN A BOOK.

</div>

Beads921

Welcome to the boards! Not a great way to start out, I must say.

I think I agree with l2s4s, we should become the rainbow fart brigade. Everyone would be happy and life would be puppies and rainbows and everyone will have every last detail of their wedding planned prior to the proposal. It's proactive, really, because that way they will have more time to enjoy being engaged and not having to worry about planning a wedding.

And on a more serious note, I agree with everything cschiano said. Once you calm down, you'll realize how logical everything these girls say is, harsh or not, and it's those words that will help get you to that nice, calm, not-concerned-about-a-ring state.

nicweaver

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:8f63cb09-b978-4b72-b572-157bb3d4af13">Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE] Because <strong>boys</strong> are slow creatures, we're waiting for them to figure it out, too.
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

The fact that you called them boys frightens me.

Beads921

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:858c6037-893d-4e41-ba09-8ddfc396e9d2">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Wow... : The fact that you called them boys frightens me.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

<div>Mhmm, I noticed this too. Not good. Boys don't get married to girls. Men get married to women.</div>

Elle1036

I say "boys" when I'm referencing something about the male gender that frustrates me.  Like when BF and his friend spend an entire day playing video games, or when he farts without any attempt to hide it, or he laughs at a crude joke...  "Oh, boys..."  That's kind of how the OP did it...

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:858c6037-893d-4e41-ba09-8ddfc396e9d2">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Wow... : The fact that you called them boys frightens me.
Posted by nicweaver[/QUOTE]

THIS.

God bless America, I can't deal with these posters anymore. Other women have posted and have said pretty much everything that needs to be said.

1.) Terrible introduction but hi there.
 
2.) Jellywhateverthefuckyournameis -- SHUT UP! You make absolutely zero sense in anything you write. Yes we are EXACTLY like the Third Reich - I don't know if you knew this or not but this board merely acts as a thinly veiled cult like mind-shaping that gathers up the BeeBee's and turns them into diabolical agents of genocidal warfare.

3.) Yes some of us are engaged, married, NEY, ect.... but again there's huge difference between coming here and fantasizing about your perfect day and actually put those fantasies into some kind of action/reality (and asking our thoughts on your BSC-ness) is just asking for trouble.

Ugh. I wish we all weren't so damn mean.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:198c6c38-120e-4f4c-94dd-181c22bb17f0">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's really funny that it's largely the already-engaged or already-married women that seem to run... no, forget "run"...  friggin  gestapo - the-hell-out-of   the Not Engaged Yet board.  :)  Ah, nothing like a little irony to spice up the afternoon. Damn it, there I go again.  I was determined to sign off for now until I had a rock on my finger (not just a spoken agreement between 2 people, not yet announced, God forbid) before I started posting again, and leave the Third Reich in peace.  But I just couldn't resist, just this once.  ;)  And now to sit back with some popcorn and watch the rest of the mayhem unfold. Man, this is a first.  I wonder if this is how trolls feel.  I have to admit, there is an exhilarating sense of liberation in speaking my mind, realizing I truly don't give a flying unicorn's left nut-hair what replies I get to this.
Posted by imJacksPGbelly[/QUOTE]

Nazi references are offensive.

Reported.

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:67dc8214-5b62-4b05-b7fd-bfd915ecb0d0">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wow... : Nazi references are offensive. Reported.
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]


Again. Desert is wise.

heyimbren

Marley, there were some very good points made about the difference between day-dreaming/fantasizing and planning. You mentioned fantasizing, which is totally cool. We do fantasize on here! We actually are a pretty light board, compared to a lot of the other ones. But an introductory post usually works better if you introduce yourself and tell us about you instead of just complain about the board.

So if you want, definitely stick around! We post about a lot of things here. But the neat thing is that on the NEY board, we post about a lot more than just weddings- because we aren't there yet. So we focus on other things going on in our lives. And when other girls are making posts about people pre-planning it isn't directed at girls like you who are FANTASIZING. It's directed at the new girls who show up every week to talk about all these wedding details they need to sort out right now, but no, they aren't engaged yet. Or the girls that want to know when their BF is going to propose.

imJacksPGbelly

Oh Sweet Beezus.  Really?  not only determined to be right, but also opposed to "different perspectives".  Somehow, not surprising in the slightest.

But you're right.  If I'm going to call out a group "in power," I should be subtle in my references, so as not to cause offense.  Nazi references withdrawn.  There will be no further references to known tyrants or anything not politically correct.  One tends to forget how sensitive people get when called out. Sorry you didn't like what I said.. Reported?  Yeah, no aspirations to tyranny here.    Guess I should call it oligarchy anyway, since we're all apparently going to decide to be literal.

To the point though:

People need to chill the fig out, in general.  Some women go OCD about planning before it's time. Agreed. (wait, is it offensive to refer to OCD?  do I need to come up with a PC name for what that stands for?  Is that why everyone says BSC? Still don't know what that means..)

Some women would do well to learn patience in waiting for their engagement to become "official". Agreed.
Some women who are not yet, but close to being engaged are just plain going to want to browse and plan, and just perhaps might know more about the validity of starting planning than those who want to comment on it here. Fact.
Some women's would do well to quit mistaking their "advice" and "talking people down" for being charitable and well-meaning and see it for what it is:  stroking ones ego, congratulating ones self on being superior. 


Quite simply, the incessant know-it-all is at least equally as annoying,  probably moreso, to those wanting to legitimately brainstorm and plan on the NEY board, as those NEY over-planners are to the already-married, already-engaged brides swarming the board.

At least over-planning is self-inflicted harm, not targeting anyone.  No cease-fire in sight?  Or you're really just that determined that everyone believe you're right?

The OP has an opinion, calmly stated, and because it's not what the oligarchy wants to hear, it's "Not a good way to introduce yourself."  Sorry OP, you must not have known-- differing opinions of the wrong kind, aren't welcome here.

Good Lorna, is it really that hard to leave people alone, or should we start up the rainbow farts in your direction instead, like a few of the love-fests earlier today, and congratulate you all on how smart you are for saying how stupid women are for planning or brainstorming before the rock is in place?

Am I doing better at avoiding specific offensive historical references?  There's not even a single deity.  I worked hard.  Just for you.

bethsmiles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:021fa457-92f2-4fdf-96dd-798eae42354b">Re: Wow...</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh Sweet Beezus.  Really?  not only determined to be right, but also opposed to "different perspectives".  Somehow, not surprising in the slightest. But you're right.  If I'm going to call out a group "in power," I should be subtle in my references, so as not to cause offense.  Nazi references withdrawn.  There will be no further references to known tyrants or anything not politically correct.  One tends to forget how sensitive people get when called out. Sorry you didn't like what I said.. Reported?  Yeah, no aspirations to tyranny here.  ;)  Guess I should call it oligarchy anyway, since we're all apparently going to decide to be literal.

<strong>Nazi referances ARE offensive! And I think by responding with this insanely long post you are just as guilty as anyone else as being determined to be right</strong>

To the point though: People need to chill the fig out, in general.

<strong>I think you are one of the people who needs to chill. Seriously we are random people from the internet why does what we say upset you so much?</strong>

Some women go OCD about planning before it's time. Agreed. (wait, is it offensive to refer to OCD?  do I need to come up with a PC name for what that stands for?  Is that why everyone says BSC? Still don't know what that means..)

<strong>It means Bat Sh!t Crazy. And nobody was talking about being PC, I think its perfectly reasonable to not want to be referred to as a nazi.</strong>

Some women would do well to learn patience in waiting for their engagement to become "official". Agreed. Some women who are not yet, but close to being engaged are just plain going to want to browse and plan, and just perhaps might know more about the validity of starting planning than those who want to comment on it here. Fact. Some women's would do well to quit mistaking their "advice" and "talking people down" for being charitable and well-meaning and see it for what it is:  stroking ones ego, congratulating ones self on being superior.  Quite simply, the incessant know-it-all is at least equally as annoying,  probably moreso, to those wanting to legitimately brainstorm and plan on the NEY board, as those NEY over-planners are to the already-married, already-engaged brides swarming the board. At least over-planning is self-inflicted harm, not targeting anyone.  No cease-fire in sight?  Or you're really just that determined that everyone believe you're right? The OP has an opinion, calmly stated, and because it's not what the oligarchy wants to hear, it's "Not a good way to introduce yourself."  Sorry OP, you must not have known-- differing opinions of the wrong kind, aren't welcome here. :)

<span style="font-weight:bold;">You seem to be getting your panies all in a bunch over people's opinions. We have an opinion OP has an opinion. She posted that opinion on a board that in general disagrees with that opinion she should have expected the responses she did. What did she expect?</span>

Good Lorna, is it really that hard to leave people alone, or should we start up the rainbow farts in your direction instead, like a few of the love-fests earlier today, and congratulate you all on how smart you are for saying how stupid women are for planning or brainstorming before the rock is in place? Am I doing better at avoiding specific offensive historical references?  There's not even a single deity.  I worked hard.  Just for you.

<span style="font-weight:bold;">You really need to get off your high horse. If people post we are going to respond. That is the point of a message board. Should we just not respond to someone's question if we don't agree?</span>
Posted by imJacksPGbelly[/QUOTE]

heyimbren

Jacks, if you don't like this board so much why do you post on here?

Also, oligarchy wouldn't be a fitting word to use.

I actually like this post, solely for the fact that it's actually a sane debate. And I for one, see nothing wrong with debates. They're enlightening.

Nobody said Marley wasn't welcome, in fact it was the opposite. Most of the girls said an introduction post from her would be helpful, and this isn't an introduction post, but that she was welcome to post.

desertsun

Pretty sure Jack's a troll.

But even trolls should get reported for Nazi references. That's just not okay. Regardless of who's right or wrong.