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Wow...

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Re: Wow...

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I didn't really read all of those long posts but I just wanted to say: Marley I like you and you should stay! This thread was kind of a suck fest and totally got stolen away from you so you should definitely do an intro post so we can get to know you a little better :D


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  • zipis1zipis1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:49e82c14-21c0-4c27-8266-8551b51b7471">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE] Mentioning it once, or placing it in a sticky, should be more than enough. While you have a valid point and you are correct in your point, the way you're expressing it is giving some people the wrong idea.<strong>  Imagine if you were a girl who was not yet engaged but expecting a proposal very soon, or perhaps already knew a proposal was coming.</strong> You come on here to talk about possible ideas for a wedding, and see three plus threads about how foolish it is to even think about wedding stuff before getting engaged. Suddenly, you don't feel very welcome. You feel like by voicing your dreams, you're going to do something wrong.
    Posted by kreebbymoiph[/QUOTE]

    We don't make it a sticky because no one reads the stickies. Unfortunately, many people don't lurk either, but by posting an active post the probability that it will be read increases a fair amount.

    I am technically one of those girls (from the bolded print). Admittedly, plans may end up messed up due to life circumstances, but for now I would say I am one of those girls. When I came here and read those I did not feel unwelcome. I felt that they were right, and realized that everything they were saying was coming from a place of concern and experience. Planning before you're engaged, including coming here to ask about specific ideas for a wedding, will generally accomplish nothing but to make an already impatient/anxious/excited woman more anxious and impatient. And I say that from experience. Unfortunately I had to learn that hard lesson on my own, and only wish I had found this board earlier so someone could be snarky to me and knock some sense into me. And I mean that.

    Another thing that people have to realize here is that we get these questions <em>all the time.</em> We repeat ourselves several times a week and deal with "beebees" who cannot take any blunt advice without throwing a fit constantly. We also deal with "you're all big meanies!" posts almost as often. It is <em>tiring</em>, and we really just wish people would LURK and READ so we don't have to do that. We also wish TheKnot would change the tagline because it does nothing but encourage that behavior. And frankly, at this point whenever a "Meanie" post is made or someone starts accusing us of not accepting differing opinions, it does nothing more than make us roll our eyes and advise you to leave if you don't like it, because chances are we've already been through that at least once in the last week or two.

    I am not part of what some may consider the "hivemind"/core group and have voiced many contrary and potentially controversial opinions during the time I've been here. I'm actually not sure how the older regs on this board feel about me because I'm a lot more soft spoken than most and am probably among the closest things to sugar coating this board really has. But as someone else said, many of the women here share the same opinions on many topics for no reason other than that they do, and I am generally one of them, especially when we get "pre-planning" and "unofficially engaged" posts.

    OP, do stick around. You seem fine, and I get how coming in here you may feel a little singled out at first. And if you stick around long enough I guarantee you will eventually understand why the women on here can be snarky, as well as just <span style="font-style:italic;">how</span> tiring it is to listen to different girls come here with the same crap all the time.

    Edit: And just to add, daydreaming is fine, as long as it doesn't go too far. I have voiced on here many times some of the things I imagine my wedding will have/be (Winter, likely January, blue will be involved because it's my favorite color, things like that) and it's never been a big deal becaus eit's clear that nothing has been <em>planned</em>, just thought of as, "That would be neat if it works out." But the, "We're getting engaged soon so what should I be doing?" posts are of course going to get, "Nothing. Wait til you're engaged since that's the time of Doing Things."

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  • oceana919oceana919
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:58ac5896-f665-40de-b08a-a3ed864bb6e7">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]WOW.  So this is what NEY has become? OP, go back a couple of months and see what you think of those posts/posters.  It is ridiculously tame (lame) now.  Jack, <strong>if you want to see a regime, you should go read those posts as well.  Now THAT was a good regime.</strong>  "The times, they are a-changing."
    Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

    Amen sista. :)

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  • oceana919oceana919
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:9791cf1a-eb4d-44df-9a70-c33cd19ff3c6">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not a troll... that would be too easy.  And frankly, I'd suck at it.  I'm too wordy in debates/ written conversations.  Not my forte. No dictionary.com, I've actually degreed in psychology (yes, I was amused by people defining OCD for me), and I write, for a living. (though, it somehow always more to the point when it's not personal opinion-- Yes, I admit that my posts are personal opinion.  Shocking, I know.) So, sorry to disappoint.  I know it's always fun to call troll, rather than evaluate the validity of the points someone is making.  Easier too. If anyone is legitimately offended by my references, I do honestly apologize, as I was not using the reference as it seems to have been taken.  You might find a closer description of my reference at urbandictionary.com.  Take a look-see.  Color me skeptical, though. It is extremely convenient to wax literal when you don't like someone's analogy.  Note to self (and perhaps to Seinfeld): I'll have to be cautious of watching the "Soup Nazi" episode with others around, since it seems like a common offense. Really, there have been one or two responses that have actually addressed points I've made, and the rest have focused entirely on trying to discredit .. what, grammar?  word-choice?  Nice try.  I check my work.  So we're playing a word game now..  is that like the cyber equivalent of arm-wrestling?  " I cannot even bring myself to address this ridiculous, asinine, drabble." asinine.  Nice choice.  Drabble, though? I think you meant dribble.  As a drabble is something that I've actually written.  Drabble is a very short story.  100 words exactly.  Something that I practice sometimes in my work, as an exercise in brevity. (Hard to tell, right? Like I said, not my forte. "talking down to people" Hmm.. might want to check my original post on that one: I said, "Talking people down", quoting what people have said previously.. on this thread, I believe.  It was a reference to "calming someone down," and based on the usage, probably meant to sound similar to talking down someone with a gun in a tense situation. By the way, when I opened a history book the last time, I'm fairly sure Hitler was not referred to as a "deity" but alright. "Unfortunately, the topic has differed to a shameless troll who cannot control mentioning a disgraceful historical "deity"." Wow, seriously?  I have to explain this one?  *sigh*  Fine.  I would say it kills it, but it was obviously already lost, so not a big diff. I was not comparing Hitler to a deity.  Having reread my first "offensive" post, I realized I used references like "God forbid" or "Good Lord" at one point?  It's slipping my mind.  In this post, there were no references to deity.  I said, "Sweet Beezus", and "Good Lorna".  Nowhere did I compare Hitler to a deity.  In fact, no where did I mention Hitler.  Wow, so now it's a game of "telephone". OH, and the word would be "deferred", not "differed".  In your last sentence.  You were saying the topic had been given over to a shameless troll, right?  Deferred, not differed. So are we done with the word games, and trying to one-up each other? You want to know why I post?  I have been on the boards for a while.  Planned first wedding in 2002.  Was on here when pregnant with my son in 2005. The boards haven't changed.  I guess it just means that women haven't changed.  Do people not tire of the drama?  The OP didn't "jump into a conversation with a complaint."  She started her own thread, and was jumped on because it was pointing out something she didn't like about the responses on a lot of threads on the board. Such an egregious crime, apparently.  A few threads down, is an entire post from a married or almost-married bride, to "newbies" or "wannabe's".  I forget the title.  All about how ridiculous and clueless they are.  And the entire thing is filled with the fan club congratulating the post on it's stellar wisdom.  Really?  Why do people take such pleasure in gloating over people.  It's ridiculous.  I like the board, or at least the concept of it, anyway. But you're right, I don't like the tenor of a lot of the posts. But the board is called "Not Engaged Yet," so why would I allow myself to be driven off because I am going to stand up against the majority? Sorry.  I don't work that way.  When I came back to the knot, I was apprehensive about the boards because I remember how just-plain-snotty a lot of women were and how much they enjoyed targetting others.  I made a single post on here with a genuine question, NOT repeating what 100s of other bride's have said, and when I came back to it hours later, I was apparently ridiculous and silly for the question I asked, and someone later suggested that I was a troll?  Before I'd even responded to anything? Seriously?  You ladies are ridiculous.  One would hope that women could group together to become the best version of themselves: powerful, supportive, strong, loving, nurturing, but instead, in groups we seem to devolve into exactly what all the stereotypes point to:  Catty, back-biting, cliquish, snotty, self-righteous, manipulative.. especially manipulative, etc etc etc..  No wonder the feminist movement keeps stalling.  We keep blocking our own progress. Just like crabs trying to get out of a bucket. It's depressing. Am I a troll?  No.  Am I going to continue to post what I think and call out the BS as I spot it? Yes.  I don't "fall in line" to be popular on the board. Maybe I'll go back to just lurking.  It's not a bad idea.  But I promise one thing-- if I stick around, I'll post as I like (avoiding the now-clear faux-pas), and in genuine threads, I'll respond to each one of you as if I never spoke to you, because I don't hold grudges and think that when not resorting to mob mentality may actually have something valuable to offer.  Though I wouldn't be a bit surprised if I'm "black-balled" for not backing down on this-- not cow-towing to the majority sentiment.  At this point I don't really care.  I don't play the clique game anymore. I'll respond to things that interest me if I choose to respond.  Or if someone is getting attacked at the hands of the "clique," I'm likely to call it out. Someone said that being contrary for the sake of being contrary doesn't win friends?  I'm not in a popularity contest, and I have no problem being contrary to make a point, when "mob-jority" seems to be on the prowl. Sorry if that isn't comfortable for anyone.  That's me.
    Posted by imJacksPGbelly[/QUOTE]

    Instead of impressing me with your logic, wit and inherent snarkiness, all you managed to do was cause my brain to play the sound of the teacher in Charlie Brown (wah wah wah wah wah) to play over and over in my head. Thanks.

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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Love ya, Zip. Kiss
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:b55cdf98-b8ab-489e-8c51-b3c6832d75bb">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Eesh. *blink* I went away to make dinner and eat it with my wonderful BF, and I came back to 50+ posts! Holy poo. So. Ahem. Sorry, guys. I didn't mean to start a war. Hm. Let me start with something easy...y'all are totally right, I didn't introduce myself before jumping in with a criticism. I apologize for that. I honestly didn't realize that was the custom here. Which is weird, because I'm totally the type of person who likes formal introductions in real life and feels sort of uncomforable without them! (Maybe I just didn't think a bajillion strangers would read a NWR post from a total newbie?) May I chalk that mistake up to a long day at work and a headache? Anyway, perhaps I'll post an intro soon, separate from this thread. So, if anyone is still wondering, I *DO* think it's BSC (got to love that acronym, so fun to say) to buy a dress or call up venues or vendors before you're engaged, and always have. Really! I'm sane, I promise! I was just musing on a thing or two. I didn't want to specifically call out anyone, but maybe I should have been more specific<strong>...someone mentioned that there had been a couple of threads recently that were started just to complain about newbies who were jumping the gun, with a bunch of people jumping in and basically high-fiving the thread. That's what I thought was a little un-called for.</strong> Not the talking-you-down-out-of-the-tree stuff. I've got no problem with people replying to pre-planners' threads with stuff like "Don't plan yet, you're not engaged, calm down!" I probably didn't explain myself well enough. Oops again. FWIW, my personal preference is to leave the snark out of a reply unless the OP has already come in with an attitude or an entitled tone...I'm sure I'm not the only one. (I realize my original post could have been taken as somewhat snarky--I didn't mean it that way.) I'd also like to say that I'm definitely not, nor am I expecting anyone else to be, all puppies and rainbows, and no, I do not want to see a board where people encourage extreme pre-planning! Ugh. Anyway, thanks for the lively debate and all. Special thanks to Bren and dreamer for encouraging me to come back to the thread. :) Can we put this to bed soon? BF is already there... :)
    Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

    Are you speaking of me sweetie?  If so, don't beat around the bush - you can come out and say it.  Then we'll really get this thread going.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    There's a difference between complaining about newbies who are pre-planning, and a post that's written FOR the new posters that explains pre-planning isn't encouraged on this board.

    Jeter's post was specifically directed to the pre-planners, and Narwhal's was directed to the girls who haven't been proposed to yet. Jeter wasn't complaining, she was offering advice from her personal experience. Then a lot of other girls to agree with the advice and chime in with their own experiences. Yeah, Narwhal's blunt: but her post is again directed to the girls who come on to here to ask how they can convince their BF to propose.

    That's the difference. Marley, it wasn't an overall complaint about NEY girls who are day dreaming where everyone decided to bash them. The fact is, every week girls come on here to post about how they can MAKE their BF to propose, or to say that they're NEY, BUT they fell in love with this venue that they've never showed BF, and it books up fast so should they put a deposit down??

    P.S. Don't get too mad, Loopy Innocent
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:d8cbdc6a-66cc-469c-af41-d34fe9efd774">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]There's a difference between complaining about newbies who are pre-planning, and a post that's written FOR the new posters that explains pre-planning isn't encouraged on this board. Jeter's post was specifically directed to the pre-planners, and Narwhal's was directed to the girls who haven't been proposed to yet. Jeter wasn't complaining, she was offering advice from her personal experience. Then a lot of other girls to agree with the advice and chime in with their own experiences. Yeah, Narwhal's blunt: but her post is again directed to the girls who come on to here to ask how they can convince their BF to propose. That's the difference. Marley, it wasn't an overall complaint about NEY girls who are day dreaming where everyone decided to bash them. The fact is, every week girls come on here to post about how they can MAKE their BF to propose, or to say that they're NEY, BUT they fell in love with this venue that they've never showed BF, and it books up fast so should they put a deposit down?? <strong>P.S. Don't get too mad, Loopy
    </strong>Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

    I was just coming back to this thread to say that.  It hit me all of a sudden that Loop is the mod and I don't want to make it hard on her.  So, I shall let my case rest.  Thanks for your input there bren.
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  • MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011



    Has anyone tried the bean dip?? UH-MAZE-ING!
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Kathleen - I was just wishing I had that pic to post. 
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  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Jeter, you made good points in your post about pre-planning and tastes changing, etc. I just think it came off a little condescending, and yes, for newbies, could be easily taken as "we don't want to hear about it, NEYs, so shut it." Which just kind of made me sit up and say, hey! This is a NEY board, right?

    Narwhal, if you're reading this, I get where you were coming from with yours, but I do think that a lot of newbies out there like myself might see it and think, wow, okay, I can't vent on a board called Not Engaged Yet about wanting my boyfriend to propose?!?!

    Maybe we all should have been a little clearer!

    I'm sure you're both going to say I should have done a better job lurking. I definitely haven't read everything yet. But I *have* been lurking casually for about a month, long enough, I think, to speak up when I feel something's fishy. After all, this is a public forum.

    For the record, I still think that even if someone comes on here and is all "OMG how can I get my boyfriend to propose by this date because I want to get married at this place and OMG I like these flowers and this dress and it needs to happen NOW" that a little tact is called for. These posters may have a thing or two to learn, and maybe they annoy you, but they're still people. People with interesting stories, obstacles they've overcome, valid feelings, and kickass skills in other areas besides being a NEY!

    Thanks again for your input, everyone. This sure has been interesting. I look forward to reading more from all of you!

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  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    This thread made my head hurt.

    I skimmed, Jackbelly, you're too long winded for me.  Concise, people.  Let's try it.

    I posted my BSC first post on my local board, so I was talked down quietly, patiently and with tact.  I have since went back and thanked those girls.

    I don't think the regs here would be so snarky if they didn't have to post the same answer a bajillion times.  And if the OP of said BSC post would just listen to them. 
    We just need a sticky that says:
    1.) Don't make concrete plans. (E.g-pay deposits, buy a dress.)
    2.) Don't plan without BFs approval.
    3.) Don't talk about WR stuff 24/7 and ruin a proposal for you and BF.
    4.) Don't get mad when we refer you to 1-3.

    Signed,

    NEY
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Seriously?  I fail to see how my post was condescending at all.  I was giving MY experience about how plans change.  But, to each their own.  If you can't hack it, don't read it.
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I think my ONLY problem with pre-PLANNER people (not pre-browsers) is when they get super defensive and then run off to other boards saying how we're all a bunch of meanies for not telling them exactly what they want to hear.

    I've seen a couple newbie posts that come on saying they are pre-planning, then we tell them that there's no point because you have tons of time and you should just enjoy your relationship and they actually acknowledge that, we've all been there so maybe we kind of know what we are talking about.  If someone can accept other's opinions with grace and tact, regardless of whether they agree or not, that's a person that I don't mind seeing around these boards more often.

    In general, I've found this board is actually very light-hearted and mostly NWR, which I think helps when you are NEY because all the wedding talk all the time can just get you more anxious for the proposal.  However, when some newb comes in and attacks the board, we can be quite snarky to defend the dynamic we have going on here.

    Anyways...just my observations...
    Anniversary
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  • Ashes_3Ashes_3 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Seriously, we're adults? This is very petty and immature!!!
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  • oceana919oceana919
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:0faae610-36f6-4333-9d26-26ca32fbc133">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Seriously, we're adults? This is very petty and immature!!!
    Posted by Ashes_3[/QUOTE]

    Wait...no one told you we're all secretly 13-year-olds screwing around on TK during study hall?

    ::off to listen to Justin Beiber and complain about how much my parents <em>just don't understand meeeeeeeeee</em>::

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  • marateamaratea member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'll be upfront and say I only came over here because I saw the link on another board, but is this bothering anyone else?
    It's drivel, not dribble. Goodness, if you're going to get all uppity, at least use the proper word.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:a1e9d60a-11c8-44f7-8e6f-c7f460da454e">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll be upfront and say I only came over here because I saw the link on another board, but is this bothering anyone else? It's drivel, not dribble. Goodness, if you're going to get all uppity, at least use the proper word.
    Posted by maratea[/QUOTE]

    I think this entire thread is a wonderful lesson on vocabulary!
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  • SeaTea02SeaTea02
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:078b894a-5dbf-43b3-8a2d-7062f658ca8b">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wow... : Instead of impressing me with your logic, wit and inherent snarkiness, all you managed to do was cause my brain to play the sound of the teacher in Charlie Brown (wah wah wah wah wah) to play over and over in my head. Thanks.
    Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

    This.

    Jacks, you are verbose and obnoxious. Do you talk like this IRL?

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  • NarwhalNarwhal
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:0a9caa31-e342-4ff3-88e6-e08926b6510f">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jeter, you made good points in your post about pre-planning and tastes changing, etc. I just think it came off a little condescending, and yes, for newbies, could be easily taken as "we don't want to hear about it, NEYs, so shut it." Which just kind of made me sit up and say, hey! This is a NEY board, right? <strong>Narwhal, if you're reading this, I get where you were coming from with yours, but I do think that a lot of newbies out there like myself might see it and think, wow, okay, I can't vent on a board called Not Engaged Yet about wanting my boyfriend to propose?!?! Maybe we all should have been a little clearer</strong>! I'm sure you're both going to say I should have done a better job lurking. I definitely haven't read everything yet. But I *have* been lurking casually for about a month, long enough, I think, to speak up when I feel something's fishy. After all, this is a public forum. For the record, I still think that even if someone comes on here and is all "OMG how can I get my boyfriend to propose by this date because I want to get married at this place and OMG I like these flowers and this dress and it needs to happen NOW" that a little tact is called for. These posters may have a thing or two to learn, and maybe they annoy you, but they're still people. People with interesting stories, obstacles they've overcome, valid feelings, and kickass skills in other areas besides being a NEY! Thanks again for your input, everyone. This sure has been interesting. I look forward to reading more from all of you!
    Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Ohhh did i do this?</div><div>
    </div><div>And no. I don't think they can vent here about wanting their boyfriend to propose. Sorry. Get over it. I still don't care if you just think that it's just not faaaaaaair that your boyfriend won't propose this week.  </div><div>
    </div><div>This is what I do not understand.  People come on here, fuss about their boyfriend not proposing. People come on here, decide "well since he's taking his sweet time, I'll just move on with planning the wedding."  No. There is a reason he is not proposing to you. HE IS NOT READY TO. If you can't be sensitive to that, I don't see how you're going to be married to this fellow.</div><div>
    </div><div></bitch></div><div>
    </div>
    Anniversary
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:68971892-c7eb-4f9c-9485-cb5a0a01855b">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wow... : Ohhh did i do this? And no. I don't think they can vent here about wanting their boyfriend to propose. Sorry. Get over it. I still don't care if you just think that it's just not faaaaaaair that your boyfriend won't propose this week.   This is what I do not understand.  People come on here, fuss about their boyfriend not proposing. People come on here, decide "well since he's taking his sweet time, I'll just move on with planning the wedding."  No. <strong>There is a reason he is not proposing to you. HE IS NOT READY TO. If you can't be sensitive to that, I don't see how you're going to be married to this fellow.</strong> <strong></bitch>
    </strong>Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Crimeny a lot goes down when I leave to go (unsuccessfully) shopping for a Halloween costume.
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  • marleylikeairmarleylikeair member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    And no. I don't think they can vent here about wanting their boyfriend to propose. Sorry. Get over it. I still don't care if you just think that it's just not faaaaaaair that your boyfriend won't propose this week.  

    We *do* disagree here, somewhat. I feel that a Not Engaged Yet board should be a place where one can vent about waiting for a proposal. And depending on the details and the attitude of the poster, I would certainly understand telling the poster what you think. I just disagree with your approach, though I certainly understand where you're coming from.
    This is what I do not understand.  People come on here, fuss about their boyfriend not proposing. People come on here, decide "well since he's taking his sweet time, I'll just move on with planning the wedding."  No. There is a reason he is not proposing to you. HE IS NOT READY TO. If you can't be sensitive to that, I don't see how you're going to be married to this fellow.

    Please don't think I don't understand this! I think it's spot-on. I'd just have put it out there differently.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:cf6af374-0f31-4198-bee0-a229f22953ba">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]And no. I don't think they can vent here about wanting their boyfriend to propose. Sorry. Get over it. I still don't care if you just think that it's just not faaaaaaair that your boyfriend won't propose this week.   We *do* disagree here, somewhat. I feel that a Not Engaged Yet board should be a place where one can vent about waiting for a proposal. And depending on the details and the attitude of the poster, I would certainly understand telling the poster what you think. I just disagree with your approach, though I certainly understand where you're coming from. This is what I do not understand.  People come on here, fuss about their boyfriend not proposing. People come on here, decide "well since he's taking his sweet time, I'll just move on with planning the wedding."  No. There is a reason he is not proposing to you. HE IS NOT READY TO. If you can't be sensitive to that, I don't see how you're going to be married to this fellow. Please don't think I don't understand this! I think it's spot-on. <strong>I'd just have put it out there differently.</strong>
    Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

    This is PRECISELY why a variety of perspectives/opinions/people is so valuable to any message board.

    Narwhal's way of communicating the same idea might get through to some people, whereas your way might get through to others.

    No one way is right or wrong.
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:a1e9d60a-11c8-44f7-8e6f-c7f460da454e">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll be upfront and say I only came over here because <strong>I saw the link on another board</strong>, but is this bothering anyone else? It's drivel, not dribble. Goodness, if you're going to get all uppity, at lea

    This is exactly what I mean.  "waaaa, these meanies told me I can't plan a wedding before I'm engaged...."

    Regardless of whether that's what the link said, it's the same premise.  Someone doesn't like something they hear, then run off to other boards to complain...it's annoying.
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  • mkruparmkrupar member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e2fe3530-ef15-4998-8470-52ab5141d56fPost:071fe8e7-c52f-433b-a928-cc05060bc9e1">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Wow... : [QUOTE]I'll be upfront and say I only came over here because I saw the link on another board , but is this bothering anyone else? It's drivel, not dribble. Goodness, if you're going to get all uppity, at lea This is exactly what I mean.  "waaaa, these meanies told me I can't plan a wedding before I'm engaged...." Regardless of whether that's what the link said, it's the same premise.  Someone doesn't like something they hear, then run off to other boards to complain...it's annoying.
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]

    Actually I posted the link on chit chat because I think it makes for great reading. It had nothing to do with anyone being mean. I just wanted to bring others over to oserve what was happening in this thread. Not complaining here, I was thoroughly entertained by this thread and wanted to share. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
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