Question of the Day: If you really knew me....

nottheonlydreamer44

LMAO Oceana... I was just about to say, if you need a hobby loopy you can totally bake and send me a cake! lol

Loopy you also have a PM.

dwest2201

If you really knew me... you'd know that my deceased mother was my very best friend in the entire world and losing her has been so hard for me.  We were so close and I miss her every. single. day. of. my. life.  There is not a moment happy or sad that goes by that I do not wish that she were by my side.

If you really knew me...  you'd know I became very strong and independent a few years ago (when my mom got sick) and I'm having a hard time letting myself be vulnerable again, sometimes even with FI.

If you really knew me...  you'd know I am so grateful for reconnecting with FI and very excited to have him and his huge and very loving family a part of my sons and my life!

If you really knew me... you'd know that while I plan to make a career change and want to work atleast part-time at a job that I enjoy, I am completely okay with putting it on the back burner for a while.  My biggest ambition in life is to have a couple more children and to be the best mother (and wife) that I can.

If you really knew me... I'm a completely different person after having my son.  I am more patient, loving, caring, gentle, soft spoken.  I also listen to different music than before and read, for myself and to him way more than I did prior.  (ofcourse some of this maybe related to age/maturity as well)

nefariousmango

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-of-day-really-knew?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e4b977dd-46cd-42a9-a60e-97aece52c397Post:d6e4e160-2b51-4cc5-8abe-c547478a4fad">Re: Question of the Day: If you really knew me....</a>:
[QUOTE]deburnin -... I'm glad to see you quit cold turkey and are still feeling good, I imagine? lol.<strong> I can't stop my medication or I don't know what would happen. That freaks me ou</strong>t. I take 5 different kinds and 7 pills every.single.day. I know people on so much more than that and I can't believe they're functioning. I applaude you for being able to figure out what your needs were and meeting them - <strong>sometimes NP's and doctors don't know what the hell they're talking about.</strong>
Posted by nottheonlydreamer44[/QUOTE]

<strong>If you really knew me...</strong> You'd know that I was diagnosed with Bipolar after my head injury, and it took them three years to sort out that I was actually having partial seizures in my temporal lobe.  They put me on an anti-convulsant and the mood swings, hallucinations, and fits of anger instantly stopped.  I was studying neurology and molecular biology and their diagnoses didn't seem right, so I kept finding new specialists to talk to until a researcher told me about these findings on partial seizures, and everything lined up!  

The meds I was on before made me feel like a different person, and they didn't make the bad parts go away, and I hated it!  But... I looked up what happens when you quit them and knew I couldn't go cold-turkey with an already-damaged brain.  <strong>The moral is: Tell your doctors how you are feeling and what you want to do about it, find out what all your options are, and if you don't feel like they're listening, find someone who is!  I</strong> saw over a dozen doctors- psychologist, psychiatrists, neurologists, OTs and PTs-  before I found someone who helped me.    It was worth the wait and effort to know what happens when meds change and know what all your options are.

<strong>If you really knew me...</strong>you'd know that I have almost died or been told I would die four times in my life, and I have PTSD from the three that were bleeding episodes.  I pretend that I don't worry about my bleeding disorder, but everyone who really knows me knows how much it scares me. The fourth time was when they told me I had cancer.  I didn't.

<strong>If you really knew me...</strong> you'd know that I have a massive weakness for pathetic animals and I'm horse-obsessed, especially now that I'm horseless! 

<strong>If you really knew me...</strong> you'd know that I'm afraid to have kids because I don't want to pass along my bleeding disorder and/or the learning and anxiety disorders that other people in my family have.  At the same time, I'm so proud of my family history of creatively overcoming obstacles and they attribute those triumphs to their "disorders", to thinking differently.

KatyRoseM

If you really knew me . . . you would know I'm terrified of life, I'm scared of graduating, I'm scared of what jobs I could get and the fact that in this economy I might not, I'm scared of getting married, I'm scared of moving.  I'll get over it all, I'm just terrified of everything right now, from Fi looking at JAG to contacting our officiate for our wedding, what if I'm being annoying by wanting to talk about our wedding with him?

If you really knew me . . . you would know that I believe no one will ever really love me, at least not without conditions.  No matter how much Fi says that's not true, I just can't believe it.  My whole life people had conditions for their love, why would he be different?  I just don't know what the conditions are yet. 

If you really knew me . . . you would know I have a phobia of mice.


Wow, I sound week and crazy, but there you go. 

noelle24

If you really knew me...

you'd know that I'm terrified of not finding a job.  Moving forward with my life with my FI depends on me getting a job.  We can't look for an apartment until we know what our budget will be, and we can't afford one in NYC on his income alone.  I also need a job for his paperwork after we're married. 

you'd know that I'm afraid that I'm going to be underqualified for the jobs I want and "overqualified" for any jobs that would just pay the bills and that I'm feeling unemployable right now.

you'd know that this fear is keeping me from being excited about getting married in two months.

you'd know that I have the eye-end of a sewing needle stuck in my hand.

you'd know that I'm a clutz and have face-planted in front of a class of 70 people.

you'd know that I'm an chocolate addict.

loopy82

I should make some practice runs of some cupcakes, but I don't want to be eating them. I guess I know they would have good homes to go to

jeanacorina

If you really knew me...

you'd know I'm vegetarian, and you'd know I feel it's a very personal decision. My family raises their own cows, pigs, and chickens, and I respect them for that. However, since I was little I could never rationalize why we raise some animals to eat and others as companions. Didn't make sense, and still doesn't to me.

you'd know I hate to talk politics. Hate it. In fact, I will normally flat-out refuse to talk about politics, which often gets me labeled as the opposite of whatever party the person trying to talk to me identifies with. Which is a little ironic. Talking about politics has actually ruined a few relationships I had with family members, and I'm bitter about that. Not talking about politics frustrates people, but usually doesn't burn bridges.

you'd know I love my cats the same way I love children (I don't have any kids, but I see my cats as equal to other people's kids). I would do whatever it takes to keep them safe and happy. I feel completely responsible for their wellbeing. Some people have judged me for that, but I don't care. If my biggest fault is caring too much for a living thing, then I'm okay with that.

you'd know my husband and I are perfect for each other, even though we don't always agree. He is exactly the person I needed in my life, and I'm the person he needed, too. We complement each other, and we each cause the other to want to be a better person. We don't feel that we need to agree on everything. We feel that we need to be able to talk and work things out. And I absolutely love him with every bit of feeling I have.

you'd know sometimes I say what I feel, even if it's not what I mean. And you'd understand that actually DOES make sense.

you'd know that just because I don't call doesn't mean I don't care.

you'd know I'm lazy and energetic and random and stubborn and flighty and smart and determined and flexible and loving and hot-tempered... and so many other things all rolled into one very complex personality. And you'd probably like me anyway, because deep down I really just want to love everyone in whatever way I can.

you'd know I love dairy but it hurts my stomach to eat too much of it.

you'd know I thought I was a real princess when I was little, and maybe I never quite got over it.

you'd know I've had great times, and terrible times, and that I fully accept that my experiences (good and bad) make me who I am today. And I like myself. Even when the past bubbles up and makes something hard for me. I don't regret it. Because I'm me, and those things are part of me.

you'd know it took a long time for me to feel that way, and I hope every one of you gets to that point, too.

loopy82

If you really knew me you would know that I am really happy and proud of my self for remaining single for the majority of a 3 year span. What initially prompted it was not wanting someone to hurt me again, and I figured if I stayed single the only person that could hurt me was myself. In the end I am really glad that I took the time to be on my own and live my life doing exactly what I wanted when I wanted with whom I wanted without having to take in consideration any other human being besides myself. I think I needed those "selfish" years to really grow.

loopy82

I was going to post this is my above post - dreamer - YGPM

HobokensFury

If you really knew me you'd know...

I was born with a disorder in which my spinal coard is too thin for my body and my disk shift as a result of it.

I was raised by my grandma and uncle.  Mom wasn't around until I was older.

I'm terrified of the New York subway... which is a problem because FI is from Brooklyn.

GreenPepperBurger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-of-day-really-knew?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:e4b977dd-46cd-42a9-a60e-97aece52c397Post:c395b4fc-c6fb-447c-9fcb-29921f517894">Re: Question of the Day: If you really knew me....</a>:
[QUOTE]If you really knew me you'd know... I was born with a disorder in which my spinal coard is too thin for my body and my disk shift as a result of it. I was raised by my grandma and uncle.  Mom wasn't around until I was older. <strong>I'm terrified of the New York subway... which is a problem because FI is from Brooklyn.</strong>
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

I'm totally spoiled by the NYC subway - it's one of the only metro systems that run 24 hours a day. I love taking the subway (but hey, I'm a born and bred NYer). Where in BK is your FI from?

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_question-of-day-really-knew?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:e4b977dd-46cd-42a9-a60e-97aece52c397Post:c395b4fc-c6fb-447c-9fcb-29921f517894">Re: Question of the Day: If you really knew me....</a>:
[QUOTE]If you really knew me you'd know... I was born with a disorder in which my spinal coard is too thin for my body and my disk shift as a result of it. I was raised by my grandma and uncle.  Mom wasn't around until I was older. I'm terrified of the New York subway... which is a problem because FI is from Brooklyn.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

I am sure you don't want an I'm sorry for your disorder but I am. I know that has to be difficult and I can't imagine dealing with half the things the amazing women who contributed today have gone through. BTW - I don't live in NYC but I am scared of the subway too. lol.

<strong>If you really knew me...</strong> you'd know that before I was medicated I would go off about any little thing that even irked me a little. Now I can let <strong><em>most </em></strong>things roll off my back but only for so long. Keep pushing me and I'll push right back - my brain chemistry might be a bit different but I'll still say whatever I need to when the situation warrants.

Jeana - I LOVED yours - it was definitely inspiring and I know what you mean about the complex personality thing :)

tafft1

If you really knew me.. You would know that while outside I project a positive always happy smile , within I often am screaming and sad , and still struggle with my demons on a daily basis.

If you really knew me..  You would know that I was forced out of high school due to excessive abuse , bullying and assualt in many forms. That every year graduation season/back to school comes around I have days that I cry constantly. I still ask myself what was so wrong with me..17 years later.

If you really knew me.. You would know how much I care for other people even though kindness towards me has been little and far between.

If you really knew me.. You would probably wonder what is "wrong" with me. I am not in a "typical" relationship and do not hold anything back or have any regrets. I am following my heart even if it's not the mainstream ideal.

callalily13

If you really knew me...you'd know that I can't imagine disowning my family but most of them make me want to be constantly in tears. I guess I have an unhealthy love for them.

If you really knew me...you'd know that my first boyfriend had be convinced the only things that I was good for were to give him BJs, whether he had to physically force me to or not and to be skinny as possible, which ended in me becoming severely anorexic (5 foot 8 110lbs) and suicidal (cut myself for about 3 years because I hated myself so much). Before I met my fiance I was seriously considering suicide because I didnt think my life was worth it. It isnt for nothing that I call him my savior.

If you really knew me...you'd know that while my fiance was sick and nearly died I was the only one that had faith that he would live. People asked me why I had such faith (because I am atheist) and the only thing I can think to say is that I knew we were meant to be together and if he was to die then there is no other person for me. So I stayed with him day in and day out and the day that he finally walked again for the second time might be one of the happiest times of my life.

If you really knew me...you'd know the real reason that I want to work in trying to fix sexual offenders to make them socially acceptable citizens is because I have attempted to convince myself that my first boyfriend was mentally ill and if he was stopped earlier then I wouldnt have to have suffered so much. I guess by wanting to help children, I might be trying to find a way to fix the broken part of me.

HobokensFury

GreenPepper- He's from East New York. His friends think we're crazy because we drive everywhere.

Notheonly dream- I'm perfectly healthy 99 days out of 100.  I have to go the the doctor once a month to have it checked out and to get my spine readjusted.  It's just a way of life I guess.  But most days I'm fine.  I actually just found out last year because I had crippling pain then numbness in my enitre right side.  They thought I had a stroke!