Bridal Shower Question

Hazel_B

I am a MOH in a wedding this fall. I have already attended a couples shower for the couple and my BF and I gave them a gift. When this shower was organized I was unaware of any future showers that would be held. The bride-to-be asked me later if I would come to the bridal shower being thrown for her by the groom to be's family.

So, my question - do I need to give another shower gift? I gave her a nicer shower gift at the last one and plan on giving a nice wedding gift.

Ana_2985

No, you do not need to give another gift.  If you feel uncomfortable arriving at the party without anything you could just bring a card and a small item like a bottle of wine or a picture frame.  Some small and simple. 

Maybe since you are the MOH you could make it something special just from you, not your BF too.  Just a thought.

PaigeMcC

I'm not sure on actual etiquette for this one but I would say if you've already been to one shower and given a gift and you're doing another gift for the wedding then I think you've given enough.  Maybe just a nice card with some heartfelt wishes would be good.

aperitisa

Ditto the PPs.  Personally, I would feel uncomfortable coming empty handed, so to the second shower I would give a card.  And if I were the bride, during the opening of the presents, I would mention what a great gift you gave at the last shower.  But that's just me.

Hazel_B

Thanks everyone! I hate arriving empty handed as well. The fact that I have to drive 6 hours for this shower makes me more reluctant to buy another gift because I'm feeling like my presence at all is gift enough on this one.

PaigeMcC

6 hours?! You're a better friend than me.  I'd be like "I hope you enjoy your shower but I will not be able to attend.  kthx"

aperitisa

ooooo, no way in heck I would drive 6 hours for a second shower. 

katanne9

Ditto PPs. I had some BMs that came to multiple showers of mine and didn't give me a gift. I was just happy they could come to several. I would just write her a nice note.

Hazel_B

Normally I wouldn't go to a shower that far away, but in MOH and there are no others BMS. Plus, she's barely asked me to do anything and if she has asked me to do this I figure I should.

Hazel_B

Ahh, then my mom tells me that I have to get another gift - sigh

ekathleen684

If you feel the need to get a gift I'd go with what PP's said and do a small gift like a frame or somehting small ($15 or less) off her registry. Otherwise, I think a card and your presence would be enough.

Ana_2985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ec0666db-59c6-4e93-ae90-56dc805112faPost:8a2ab0f9-0c62-4e56-8667-8a2b715eb731">Re: Bridal Shower Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Ahh, then my mom tells me that I have to get another gift - sigh
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]

Tell your mom to read any etiquette book, like Emily Post or something.  You are not "required" to buy a gift for every shower you attend.  I still think the card/small item is just fine.

PaigeMcC

Pffft, mistake #1 - telling mom;)

Hazel_B

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to bother with the gift. This is a pretty wealthy family and I'd rather stay off the radar than give what they would view as a cheap gift. Also, I still have to shell out money for the bachelorette party.

Paige - yeah, I know - even my dad chimed in and said i needed to bring a gift.

jeanacorina

First off, I had one shower (besides my coworker shower) and most people didn't give me gifts. My two grandmothers did, and the two hostesses went in together to get me a Kitchenaid mixer. That was their shower + wedding gift from both of them, which was amazing.

No one else brought anything, and that was okay. Most had traveled a long way, and we had a great time playing games and visiting.

Secondly, if you feel bad not bringing anything, get her a bottle of $3 wine! Everyone likes that! Or, I second the picture frame idea. Sure, you get a TON of frames for your wedding, but guess what? She's about to have a TON of pictures she'll want to display.

Something under $20 won't break your bank, right? If it will, then give her a card and a hug. Really, it will be fine. Don't go into debt over a shower.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ec0666db-59c6-4e93-ae90-56dc805112faPost:0bdfe833-cc2b-43a0-998e-c0ca7f43b2c6">Re: Bridal Shower Question</a>:
[QUOTE]get her a bottle of $3 wine! Everyone likes that!
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

<div>Send me some too, please!!</div>

Hazel_B

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ec0666db-59c6-4e93-ae90-56dc805112faPost:d2cee8a3-1f50-407a-8783-24d236c6e109">Re: Bridal Shower Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal Shower Question : Send me some too, please!!
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

Jeana - lol $3 wine does not exist in Canada, we have to many sin taxes to allow for it :)

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:ec0666db-59c6-4e93-ae90-56dc805112faPost:d2cee8a3-1f50-407a-8783-24d236c6e109">Re: Bridal Shower Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal Shower Question : Send me some too, please!!
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

Me too!

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ec0666db-59c6-4e93-ae90-56dc805112faPost:c16bf00d-a47d-4816-9d6e-d90222ebf091">Re: Bridal Shower Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal Shower Question : Jeana - lol $3 wine does not exist in Canada, we have to many sin taxes to allow for it :)
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]

<div>Tax alone on a bottle of wine is $3! lol</div>

jeanacorina

Dang, that's rough. It changes my whole opinion of Canada.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ec0666db-59c6-4e93-ae90-56dc805112faPost:13c9719d-0819-4ed8-9178-ee9f95d41caf">Re: Bridal Shower Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Dang, that's rough. It changes my whole opinion of Canada.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

<div>but but butttt you still <3 me, right?!</div><div>*craves attention and approval* </div><div>
</div><div>lol</div>

jeanacorina

Of course. It just means I won't be visiting you. But you're going to visit me, so it's all good.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bridal-shower-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ec0666db-59c6-4e93-ae90-56dc805112faPost:9a9a3b22-1d2c-4175-9420-4b786815a2c9">Re: Bridal Shower Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Of course. It just means I won't be visiting you. But you're going to visit me, so it's all good.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

<div>Well I can live with that then.</div>