Pre-Planner Extraordinare

mkodowd

With our engagement looming (he has the ring quietly tucked away in his house), I find myself starting the planning process...well, as much as I feel is appropriate before I am actually wearing the ring. 

I am wondering if anyone has any cute and/or unique suggestions for asking my friends and sisters to be my bridal party?

agk0125

My suggestion is don't ask them until 9 months or so before the wedding. Even if you're "sure" it's not going to change.

jeanacorina

I agree with AGK. Wait until 9 months if not later.

I just asked mine in person when possible, and over the phone otherwise. Actually, with my MOH (cousin) she kind of started talking about dresses or something, and then she stopped and was like "I am so sorry! I don't mean to assume I'm a bridesmaid!" And I was like "Pssh, dude you're my maid of honor. I mean, wait, I should probably rephrase that as a question, huh?" and she said "Nah, I guess we can make assumptions about each other."

That was kind of funny.

katanne9

I've been engaged for almost 2 months and am getting married in less than 7 months and haven't asked my bridal party yet.

I would wait until you and your fi (when he is your FI), talk about the vision for your wedding day and what you want.

I've heard WAY too many stories of regretting asking ppl too soon, even if they were "sure".

oceana919

The best advice I can give you is to wait until AFTER you're engaged, and you're 100% positive about who you want to be in your wedding. Otherwise, it can completely backfire in your face.

Case in point - FI and I had been talking about getting engaged since about Jan-Feb, and I was 1000% positive that I wanted my two best friends to be my matron of honor (cousin) and maid of honor (best friend #2). Eventually, when I confessed to them that we were planning on getting married, I told the girls that that's what I wanted. Unfortunately, over the summer, bf #2 and I had a HUGE falling out (like, screaming/yelling blowout), and here I am in a difficult situation - do I want her standing up there on our big day if I can't trust her/aren't sure if I want to continue the friendship? If I decide not to, how in the hell do I have that conversation (MAJOR faux paux and an all-around sh*tty thing to do).

In the end, it kind of worked itself out (she decided our friendship was over after several months of not speaking to one another, before I could make that final decision, and basically cut herself out my life/cut me out of hers), but to be honest, it was a dark cloud over those first few weeks of being engaged and starting to plan wedding things.

If you don't believe me, check out the number of posts titled "how do I un-ask a bridesmaid" on the wedding party boards.

Button5807

You could like higher a skywriter, a plane with a banner or spell it out in topiaries/fireworks.

**Mutley**

I would invite everyone to the local ice rink, your boyfriend included.  When he sees the ice sculpture asking them to be your bridesmaids, he will have to propose then and there.  Problem solved.

jeanacorina

LOL, Mutley, she's asking about bridesmaids, not making her BF propose.

But still, hilarious.

Button5807

Jeana he's HIDING the ring, she has to make him stop that. I mean GAWD if he has it why doesn't he just give it to her already so she can go along with her super cute plans to get bridesmaids. Mutley is a genius

oceana919

Dammit, there goes the Sobe. Thanks ladies.

Button5807

Oceana I hope you registered for bibs.

desertsun

I'm with oceana and katanne -- please WAIT. I'm 6 months out, and have only asked my sister due to drama with one of my BFFs (that is relatively recent and I never would have predicted).

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_pre-planner-extraordinare?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:ed704b89-ac5f-43d6-af3e-1cf3db9a8a7ePost:618342d4-63a6-4558-93ea-fc9798246fcb">Re: Pre-Planner Extraordinare</a>:
[QUOTE]LOL, Mutley, she's asking about bridesmaids, not making her BF propose. But still, hilarious.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

I know what she was asking.  Calling herself "Pre-Planner Extraordinare" made me stabby.  Throw in asking bridesmaids before you are actually engaged and...   

Oceana, haven't you learned to NOT drink SoBe and read NEY?  Come on now! 

Button5807

Mutley I got all stabby too, my original reply was lengthy but then I got frustrated so I deleted everything but my favorite sentence.

**Mutley**

 I am just generally stabby.  I am an emotionally unstable pregnant woman who can barely keep down smoothies right now.  Both dogs woke up over an hour earlier than normal and wanted to wrestle.  Yay for Friday! 

Button5807

yeah i can't hold a candle to what's making you stabby but I'm still dealing w/my on and off migraine and can feel pms trying to set in so i'm thinking about spending the weekend in a cave.

oceana919

Mutley, I think you have full permission to be stabby. We kinda like you when you're stabby.

Just looking at the title of this post made me ::headdesk::

**Mutley**

See signature.  That is all.

Button5807

i need a bib..rootbeer went everywhere.

jeanacorina

Oh, now I see the part about the ice sculpture asking the bridesmaids. That makes TOTAL sense now!

PaigeMcC

I should never be allowed to read NEY when co-workers are in earshot.  I just got dirty looks for laughing at my computer!

Acrosthec

Sarcastic remarks aside (even though I love them, and the ladies above have a point), once you're engaged and you and FI decide how big of a wedding you want (for instance, FI didn't want to choose, he wanted all 20 of his best friends to be groomsmen - I had three girls I really really wanted, and a couple more I liked enough to ask - we wanted symmetry, so we settled on five each with some of his extras being readers)  THEN you ask. 

And it's ok to just ask, that's what I did.  I just called and asked them.  I've seen cute little cards though, and for my flower girls I printed out cards that I folded and finished that said  "Susie(ex.)...[open]  Will you [picture of a bee] my [picture of a flower] girl?"  I thought it was cute, and the girls liked them.