Not Engaged Yet

What do you think of them?

Your in-laws / future in-laws / boyfriends family?

Any funny / crazy / unbelievable stories involving them?
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"but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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Re: What do you think of them?

  • edited December 2011
    I love them but was actually kind of disappointed when I met BFs family.

    I come from a big loud pushy family, gatherings are always hectic and overwhelming.

    His family is EXACTLY the same way! I was really looking forward to some variety in my life. lol

    The only difference between our families is that mine is insanely punctual and his is perpetually late. It drives me absolutely crazy. We're going there for dinner tonight and if we're at the table eating by 8pm I'll be thrilled.
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    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • edited December 2011
    oh really?  don't EVEN get me started! 

    I really can't get into it all because it gets me in a rage.  But I invited them for a weekend and they stayed for a week. In a 800 sq ft apt.  With what seemed like everything they owned.  And they are not tidy people.

     Nuff said.
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  • edited December 2011
    eek!

    Sorry to ruffle your feathers!

    If they stayed so long does that mean that they're at least not local?
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    My bf's family is so quiet. Only one little kid in the mix. I've got a ton of nieces and nephews. Family gatherings are chaotic. With his family, we all fit at one normal-sized table. My family, we're in several rooms.

    I don't know them well yet - we live away from both families - but they have been kind to me.
  • ashleyjo09ashleyjo09 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thus far, I really like BF's parents. They remind me a LOT of my parents. his dad is very dependant on his mother and his mother is a very motivated woman...my parents exactly! And both of our fathers are so hard-headed. BF says he listens to my dad and laughs b/c he feels like he's at home.

    Latest story: BF's dad got really mad and bf's mom and decided that he could take care of himself and he didn't need her. So he wouldn't eat anything she cooked and just did his own thing. Long story short, he ended up eating a bowl of soup and a bagel in 2 days time, got really dehydrated, and passed out in the house. He's currently in the hospital getting pumped full of fluids and running some tests to make sure he is ok. BF was really scared at first, then he heard the story and couldn't help but laugh a little and shake his head. Bf's dad is fine...he should be out today.

    I will say this, I wish I got to see BF's family more to get to know them better. They live 45min away and I haven't seen them since Christmas.  :(
  • edited December 2011
    I happen to completely adore my future FIL and his wife (FI's step-mother).  They are an absolute riot to be around and we always have a great time with them.  As far as my future MIL, it's very rare that I see her and talk to her but she's not too bad for a MIL.  Hah.

    Funny In-laws moment:  On my last visit down to La - FI, myself, FIL and step-mother all went to what they call "the point" - on the coast where all the boats dock.. Just an AMAZING view.  My favorite thing in the world, other than cheese, is photography.  So of course I was in my "zone" and taking photographs.  Then my future FIL says "Hey, did you see that light house?".  The light house was literrally right in front of us... So without missing a beat I just turned to him and said "What?  Oh, that huge building that you couldn't miss even if you tried? No..I didn't see that at all - thanks for pointing it out."   We all just about died laughing. 
    I'm sure that wasn't funny to any of you..but it sure was at the time!
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This will actually be interesting for me...

    My FFIL left my FI, FSIL and FMIL when FI was 7 years old. He's still around on a peripheral basis. So the rest of the family really bonded together like 3 musketeers. It's a little weird, bc I'm "breaking" that up a little bit. I don't think they are resentful or anything, but are just a little slower to fully embrace me I feel because of it.

    That being said, I LOVE fsil and fmil. It will be slow moving though, bc they live 5 hours away.


  • trishandbradtrishandbrad member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Dont get me started... lol...
    They are nice people. He has a small family just like me. We each have one sibling and he has a nephew and I have a neice. However his grandparents are all still iving and he's close to them and some extended family members ie aunts/uncles.
    However... his family has managed to bruise my ego a bit...

    like calling me by his ex fiances name and THEN saying "Oh I'm sure Brad does that to you all the time"... Um.. no... no it doesnt
    Then strategically cutting me out of all the Christmas pictures... thanks... I mean Brad and I have only been togetehr over a year, and we live together, and we are talking about gettign married and buying a house... but feel free to make sure there is no photographic evidences that I;ve been to your house...
    And then OF COURSE Brad's sister is married to Brad's ex fiances cousin... so thats just all kinds of awkward

    Okay there are other stories but I've ranted enough.

    And I promise they are SUPER nice... there have just been some uncomfortable moments... And he has adorable grandparents that I love and wish were my own!

  • SoulMistressSoulMistress member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What started as 'I want you to meet my parents' turned into meeting Grama, Aunts & Uncles, brothers and sister and their families, family dinner, etc. It was awesome.

    They live in Maine and we live in Texas (not together). On our visit, his mom made up my bed beautifully, left white choc (my fav!!) on my pillow, even left me a lovely cashmere scarf on the bedside table because she didn't know if I'd have brought one, being a 'Texas girl'. Every single member of the family, when I was introduced, said, "I hear congratulations are in order!! You guys are engaged, right?" Nope, but thanks for your vote! :) They were adorable. His brother and SIL even brought me a gift - a book of scenic Maine and a stuffed moose!

    Since our visit last year, his mom emails me at least once a month to keep me updated and tells me how much she loves us both and can't wait to see us again and meet my son.

    If I could, I'd trade them for my own family!! :)
  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Trish - that SUCKS!!! I can't imagine.
  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I like FI's family in a general sort of way, but if they weren't his family we probably wouldn't get along very well.  We have very little in common.  His father and one of his brothers are very opinionated in the way that they think anyone who doesn't agree with them is unintelligent or inexperienced.  I agree with very little that they say.  But sometimes it can be fun to see how differently they do things though (they're not from the US).

    The other side to that is that they don't "get" me at all.  They don't understand what shyness is so I think they assume I'm just a giant biitch.

    I really like FSIL though.  I think once she learns English and I learn Spanish we will get along very well.
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  • zaneopalzaneopal member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I really like them. BF and his dad have pretty much the same personality, so it's fun to joke around with them. I get along really well with his mom, too; when we went to the Outer Banks last summer, I got up and made breakfast with her almost every morning.

    I actually get along with his sister really well too...I was apprehensive at first, because she can be pretty sullen (she was 17 when I met her though...who isn't sullen at that age?), but she's amusing to be around. I don't see her a whole lot though, even when I'm staying at BF's house, as she sleeps very late and then tends to go out for the entire day/night.

    No crazy stories, really, but they do have a crazy dog. He's afraid of just about everything and everyone, and if something startles him, he'll climb into BF's dad's lap and shake for literally hours...and he's a big dog, probably 70-80 lbs.

    From what it sounds like, his maternal grandma is BSC--actually told BF's mom that she wished she'd given up all her children. Needless to say, they don't visit her much; when they're down to visit BF's mom's family, they stay at his aunt and uncle's house. They're cool people--his aunt makes the best brownies EVER.
  • trishandbradtrishandbrad member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    paintgirl- It does... but like I said they are nice people. There have just been some less than great moments. I've tried to remain super nice because after all these people are a part of my lfie... but sometimes I get so annoyed
  • Samwise16Samwise16 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I like his family -- well, most of them.  The only issue I have with his parents is that his dad is really controlling.  (But trust and believe that's not transferring over because he's marrying the most stubborn girl ever.)


    One of his cousins is um, REGISTERED, if you know what I mean... for things I don't even want to discuss involving a 5th grader.  (Just an fyi: the man is like 40.)  His other cousin is in prison for beating his boss with a telephone.  "My telephone, my-my-my telephone... Not gonna reach my telephone..."
  • edited December 2011
    I love my in-laws.  I couldn't have moved here if I didn't.  Luckily, the feeling is mutual.  MIL and SFIL hug me first when they see us.  DH jokes that they would keep me over him now.  FIL's gf calls me to make any plans.   

    Crazy/Funny story
    MIL and I regularly trespass on foreclosed properties that are for sale.  She reasons that we do not look suspicious.  We are two white women who pulled up in a Lexus.  Who is going to call the cops on us?  Plus it is a small town and she knows almost everyone.  We don't like wasting a realtor's time if we aren't going to like what we see. 
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_conversation-starter?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:edb7159d-e7c3-4430-821f-d4a0dbad9341Post:d2ca14bd-1dc0-43ca-958a-0793fbb2ffbf">Re: What do you think of them?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Crazy/Funny story MIL and I regularly trespass on foreclosed properties that are for sale.  She reasons that we do not look suspicious.  We are two white women who pulled up in a Lexus.  Who is going to call the cops on us?  Plus it is a small town and she knows almost everyone.  We don't like wasting a realtor's time if we aren't going to like what we see. 
    Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

    This is me & my mom. We are shameless. Looking in windows, etc. She grew up in Iowa, so she's mastered this totally innocent, doe eyed get-out-if-jail-free card.
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I like my future in-laws. FI definitely takes after his mom. His dad is pretty quiet and doesn't really talk much. FI's step grandma has definitely taken some getting used to, but FI's immediate family all has felt the same way. His family as a whole is quite a bit different from mine - i.e. much smaller. My mom's side of the family is huge! His dad is an only child and his mom is 1 of 3, and one of them lives in the Virgin Islands. To me, since I am decently close to my family I think it is bizarre that I haven't met one of his uncles after 3.5 years. I definitely feel like I am marrying into a good family.
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  • edited December 2011
    I love my FI's family. FFIL is really laidback and easy-going, FBIL and I get along thick-as-thieves, FI's nephews are adorable. I love my FMIL, and am looking forward to getting to know her better.

    I'll be honest with you, my FI's aunt is my favorite in-law thus far. She reminds me so much of my late grandmother...it's almost as if they could have been sisters. Similar mannerisms, similar personalities. Apparently, she adores me...she's always sending me little cards and notes in the mail, just for the hell of it. :)

    The only problem? FMIL can be hard to read sometimes. She can be very blunt on occasion and just tells you what she's thinking. It's not necessarily a bad thing (FI's the same way), but it can make her hard-to-read sometimes. Like, to the point where, for a while, I honestly wasn't sure if she liked me or not, because I just couldn't read her. It wasn't until we spent some 1-on-1 time together over New Years that I was like, "oh yeah, she likes me." :)

    No crazy in-law stories yet...but touch back with me in April. We're introducing the parents to each other, then taking them to Disneyworld. Should make for some interesting stories, I'm sure. :)

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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I like my bf's family, but sometimes his parents really get on my nerves. They are big worriers whereas my parents never have been. His brother is a great guy just wierd. His sister awesome though. I love her! I haven't met any of his other family because they all live in New Jeresey.


  • edited December 2011
    I love my boyfriend's family. All seven hundred of them. ;)  Just kidding, but they are really extended and really close.

    His parents got a divorce when he was like, three, so he doesn't really remember them being together, and his dad got remarried right away and they've been married until about last year when they got a divorce.

    His mom is super cute, she loves animals (just like me) and makes up little songs all the time.  He thinks she's annoying, but I think she's fun.  She's a serious neat freak though, she's already said that when we're married she's going to come over and clean our house.

    His stepdad though is a pain in my butt.  Overall, he's a pretty nice guy... but he has a way of making you feel really stupid when he talks to you.  Even when you're right about stuff.  And he's super competitive, so sometimes a friendly board game can make me want to cry.

    BF's brother is, well. 13 years old.  That pretty much explains it.

    I love his stepmom.  She's really laid back and fun.

    His grandma LOVES me.  She's one of my favorites of his relatives.  She's always made me feel really welcome in the family.  She and BF work together, so I get to see her a lot.

    His dad used to be a lot of fun, I'm sure.  But the only time I've known him, he's had some problems with drugs and stuff, so it's been really difficult.  But he can be funny at times.

    BF's family on his dad's side is SUPER redneck.  Extremely nice people, but heavens.  His mom warned me, but I wasn't ready for it.  We went to a funeral a few weeks ago because BF's aunt died.  On the way back, he said "so that's what I'm going to look like when I get older... you ready for that?"  and his mom interrupted with "BUT HE'LL STILL HAVE TEETH!"  That still makes me laugh.

    Here's a funny story.  Before I met one of his uncles, he was telling him about me.  The first thing his uncle asks?
    "Son? Does she have good hips?"
    "Uh... what?"
    "Good hips. For childbearing.  I don't want you to be trying to spread your seed with a girl who can't handle it."
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I like them well enough, I guess. 

    Sometimes BF's Mom REALLY gets under my skin. She's a bit dramatic, and a cougar, so you can imagine! And I don't really like her current boyfriend, either...he's kind of a sarcastic a$$, and loves making jokes at other people's expense. Extended family on his Mom's side is non-existent...well, they exist, but there's no relationship between them and his Mom. I think it's kind of sad, because they live right around the corner. 

    I really haven't had the chance to develop a relationship with his Dad because he was out of the picture when we first got together, and now he lives an hour away. I think he can probably be a bit of a dink, but he's always nice to me. His parents and siblings are cool though. I like them, they seem to like me. We have dinner at the grandparents house every few months, and they like to keep updated on our lives.

    Overall, very different from my family. My family is just that, a family, whereas BF's family doesn't seem to have that same bond or attitude.
    He pretty much had me at "hello".
    -- PS I agree with whatever Jeana said --
  • tafft1tafft1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI's family is awesome overall. His parents have been divorced for about 10 years now. His dad is AMAZING. Super down to earth , supportive , caring , great personality , i feel like he is the dad i never had - for those that know me family is a big deal to me , i never had much of one so i am thankful for the people in my life that make it that way. His mom..well..that's another story. She's a psycho witch who turns anything around to make it about her and her new boyfriend , she even changed her life insurance and some other beneficiary from her own sons to her new boyfriend. Keep in mind this money she is getting comes from her ex husband's pay - my FI's dad - not of her own , needless to say that has brought up some questionable reactions.

    It's not about the money - it;s the prinicpal of the thing - just one of many things - she never calls , has no desire to include FI in her life pretty much - and it kills me that i even cried over a few drinks about it and FI's dad told me to not worry that He and his gifrlfriend do support and care and whatever she does dosen't matter.

    i actually consider his dad's girlfriend more my future mother in law than his actual mom - which makes me sad. FII has a large fmaily - about half he has never met due to them being from England , but his grandmother bless her heart is still a strong fierce independant as she can be woman and such a gem. She is 93 , dosen't look a day over 70 , and has such a great personality , sense of self , amazing stories from the years and i keep my fingers crosses everyday she will be around next year , i know it would mean the world to FI and me as well.

    FI's brother i met a few weeks ago along with his wife and i really enjoyed meeting him. He is a few years younger and in the army and just fun to talk to and what not. He also is very accepting of me and actually talks to me and texts me reguarly as well. Overall i feel like i belong , not just an awkward extension.
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  • edited December 2011
    Okay, I didn't read anyone else's because I have SERIOUS issue with my FMIL.

    FFIL is a nice guy. I like him. He's a lot like FI, and FI idolizes his dad. He's very chill, has a sarcastic sense of humor, and pretty much just wants his kids (and wife) to be happy and fulfilled. What more could I ask for in a FIL?

    FMIL.... ugh. I always wanted to be BFF with my MIL. I thought I would. Every other guy I have ever dated has had a mom who LOVED me. This one HATED me from the moment she found out I existed.

    She didn't like how we met... it didn't fit into her plan. She snooped in FI's email when he still lived at home and found *cough cough* PERSONAL emails between us. That made matters worse. FI was in his 20s, ok?

    For the first couple of years of our relationship, when FI and I were long distance, she said only bad things about me, demanded to know why FI even spoke to me, threatened to disown him if he visited me or invited me to visit him, and had one of her nephews (who apparently works in law enforcement or something?) dig up information about my past.

    She thought I was on the high school wrestling team. I was a statistician for the wrestling team.... not a wrestler. But she assumed I was a wrestler, and somehow that was SO WRONG and she probably still believes it even though FI and I have both tried to set her straight.

    She hates that I have lived with previous boyfriends. I don't see how it's any of her business. In my opinion, she shouldn't have snooped. WTF???

    She has put FI through so much stress with the whole "We'll disown you" and "We'll take away your car and stop paying for college" and all that because of ME. Me!!!!! Hello??? WHY? I don't f---ing get it! Who puts their son through all that because of a girl you never even met?

    When I visited FI, she made it even worse. She demanded he stay at her house even though he had his own apartment. She demanded I pay for a hotel room instead of staying at his apartment or she would take the keys to his car (they bought the car for him as a GIFT). She disconnected the battery in the car while she talked to him about her "rules for the week" and FI had to call when I was in Houston waiting for my next flight to say he wasn't sure he would be able to pick me up from the airport (his dad reconnected the battery and FI was able to come get me).

    He had to be home by 9pm. His parents live 45 minutes from the hotel where I was staying (I made the reservations when FI & I thought he was staying at his apartment). His mom lectured him for hours every day before she let him leave to see me, so I was lucky to spend an hour a day with him, and she demanded to know exactly what we were doing, how long we'd be doing it, and it HAD to meet her standards of a "date" (we could go to a movie but not sightseeing because *gasp* we might not go sightseeing and have sex instead!!!!) <-----ironic

    I almost broke up with him at the end of that week. I am not used to being told what to do and having to seek approval, ESPECIALLY since I have been an adult. She treated him like he was 16 and he let her. He wanted to give it a try, see if he could ease her mind and get past the whole super-b!tch lady thing. It didn't work.

    So, he asked me to move in with him, and I did (maybe it sounds crazy, but I loved him.... just not his mom), and he let her believe we broke up. He didn't tell her I lived here for almost two years.

    So, I only met my FMIL about a year and a half ago.

    She UN-invited me to Christmas in 2008 because she would feel "awkward" if I was there. That hurt more than anything I can describe because I moved across the country to be with her son, and left behind my family and friends.... and it's like she goes OUT OF HER WAY to make me feel unwanted and unwelcome.

    The worst part is, we have similar personalities. We're both outspoken and stubborn, we're both creative (she's an art teacher, I'm an art minor), our favorite color is the same, we both like to eat many of the same things..... I mean.... we COULD be best friends. If we were both able to get over the past.

    Did I mention we both hold grudges?

    I am an insanely patient person (note my relationship with FI), but the Christmas thing devastated me. It will take a long time to really get over that along with all the other things she has said and done to FI and I. I could seriously do without her negativity in my life. But I love her son, so I just avoid her mostly. So does he, and that's really sad.

    His brother is okay. His sister and I get along great when her mom isn't around.

    FMIL is (I think) kind of trying to gather her wits about her and be nice to me since we're engaged, but her stubbornness (especially coupled with my own) drives me batty with the whole wedding planning thing.

    I want to like her, but she has just hurt FI & I way too much. I don't know if I'll ever like her. Probably when I give birth to her grandchildren she'll LOVE me... but that will be weird. Maybe I'll be able to get used to it and get to know her in a more positive light.

    I don't like hating my FMIL. Cry
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  • edited December 2011
    Wow, Jeana. She really sounds like a loon.

    ...and it hurt my feelings when they didn't let me in any of the thanksgiving pictures...
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  • edited December 2011
    My in-laws are alright but they irk me sometimes. His mom doesn't think before she blurts something out. I told her once how my parents both worked 2 jobs just to make sure all the bills were paid when we were kids and later on that evening she was making cookies and I made a comment that my mom didn't have time to do this (you know because of the working 2 jobs thing) and she said 'Well good parents make time for their children'. I don't think she was trying to be mean but it's always really bothered me.

    My SIL I wouldn't have anything to do with if she wasn't DH's sister - she's bossy and always has to be right and have things her way. I can't stand her but I'm civil with her when she's around.
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