Not Engaged Yet

"fake diamond" engagement rings

Hi girls. I have been with my partner for 10 years. We have been "engaged to be engaged" for about 5 years. It's basically been a money thing. I'm from New Zealand, and here you are not considered engaged until you have a ring. 

We have always just found "better" things to spend our money on (overseas holidays, saving for a house etc)
Well some of you may know that Christchurch has been hit by a bad earthquake. I have lost my business, and we no longer want to buy a house here! (not for a couple or years at least)

So now we are left with a lot of "spare money" (house deposit, insurance from business) and all of a sudden now we can afford my "dream ring" it seems crazy crazy to spend so much money, I would much rather keep it in savings.

I have decided I want a "fake" diamond (for many reasons), and spend around $1000 instead of $8,000 - $10,000 like I always thought. My question is do any of you ladies have "fake" diamonds? The ring I have decided I like, if it was real, would be about $15,000, with a 2ct centre stone. I want my friends and family to think its "real", is that bad? Because of our situation, we could afford the ring I like, in real diamonds.... But I could never spend that amount of money, now that we have it. 

Even though I want people to think it's real, I am worried about lying to people. Any advice from Brides with "fake diamonds" and how they deal with family and firends questions would be much appreciated. And if you all think I'm stupid and a snob for wanting people to think I have a big expensive ring, when I don't, that would be great too! 

Re: "fake diamond" engagement rings

  • tesskerrtesskerr member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    There are a lot of different types of "fake" diamonds. CZ, mossiante, asha, ect and they are perfectly fine if that is what you want. Gemstone engagements are another option you could look into.

    IMO if you don't get a diamond you shouldn't lie about it. Be proud of what you have and the choices you make.


  • edited December 2011
    My "real diamond" cost about $1,000. Innocent

    My thing is- you keep saying "fake diamond." The only way a ring would be a "fake diamond" is if YOU call it a diamond when it isn't.

    There are tons of clear stones out there: cubic zirconia, moissanite, several diamond-type stones (someone help me name a few of those?), white sapphires, and so on.

    I do think it's poor taste to lie about your engagement ring being a diamond when it's not. I believe you should love your ring for what it is and what it symbolizes, not what you believe people might think.

    No one is likely to ask you if it's a real diamond, because that would also be pretty tacky. Most people will assume that a clear stone is a diamond unless you tell them otherwise or unless they look at it really close. ONE person actually grabbed my hand, pulled me under a light, and REALLY looked at my ring. Which was funny, because she's outgoing like that. But most people don't. They glance at it when they first find out about it, then maybe they glance at it when the light hits it... but not many people make a point to inspect someone else's engagement ring.

    Do some research on diamond alternatives (some are more durable/sparkly/colorless than others), get a ring you'll love, and please seriously think about not lying about the stone. It's kind of tacky, in my opinion. And it's unnecessary in most cases.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fake-diamond-engagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:efa218a3-ecd6-4a17-ab6b-410cb6937b05Post:1b8b0d0d-06cc-46ad-8e8b-5547fd91b023">"fake diamond" engagement rings</a>:
    [QUOTE]I want my friends and family to think its "real", is that bad?
    Posted by tesskerr[/QUOTE]

    <div>In a word, yes. Lying is bad. I always tell the truth about my ring: it's a lab sapphire. And I love it. I also love that my fiancé spent less than $300 on it. If he'd spent a thousand (or several), I'd have told him to return the ring and use the money toward our wedding/a house/a trip, anything. I personally don't want to have to worry about wearing that much money on my finger and potentially lose it or have it stolen.</div><div>
    </div><div>If you choose a non-diamond ring, be proud of it. Diamonds are overrated, IMO (no offense to ladies with diamonds, they're just NMS).</div>
    image
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I agree wholeheartedly with this:

    [QUOTE]The only way a ring would be a "fake diamond" is if YOU call it a diamond when it isn't.
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    And this:

    [QUOTE]If you choose a non-diamond ring, be proud of it. Diamonds are overrated, IMO (no offense to ladies with diamonds, they're just NMS).
    Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

    I despise the term "fake diamond".  My ring is a <em>real </em>moissanite, not a <em>fake</em> diamond, and I am proud of the decision that FI and I made.  I own that decision.  My ring wasn't exactly cheap (it was a custom design with a lot of side stones) but we didn't give one cent to the diamond industry.  Most people don't know enough about gemstones even to think to ask whether it's really a diamond, but I have no problem saying "no, it's a moissanite," if they do.

    If you have questions about moissanite, PM me.  You should also look into some high quality CZ, like winkcz and asha.  If you get one, it will be a <em>real</em> cubic zirconia, again, not a <em>fake </em>diamond.
  • Hazel_BHazel_B member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I think it is poor judgment to lie and say you have a diamond if you don't. To me it feels like you are lying about an element of your relationship and you should be proud of your decisions, not hiding them from people.

    Also, having just gotten engaged no one has asked if my diamond is "real". It is real, a Canadian diamond, and we did other things to bring the price down.

    In general I don't think anyone will ask if your rock is a real diamond or not. However, this is coming from someone who didn't need or want a 2 carat diamond. If you want something that is 2 carats, and looks like a diamond, I can see people being much more curious about your ring. Particularly so if this is not the norm where you are. If I had wanted a 2 carat diamond looking rock, I'd rather tell the truth about what the rock is then have people make judgements about our financial position. I would be really uncomfortable if people thought I walked around with $15,000 on my hand or that my FI would put that much money into a ring, but that is just me.                               

  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fake-diamond-engagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:efa218a3-ecd6-4a17-ab6b-410cb6937b05Post:1b8b0d0d-06cc-46ad-8e8b-5547fd91b023">"fake diamond" engagement rings</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi girls. I have been with my partner for 10 years. We have been "engaged to be engaged" for about 5 years. It's basically been a money thing. I'm from New Zealand, and here you are not considered engaged until you have a ring.  We have always just found "better" things to spend our money on (overseas holidays, saving for a house etc) Well some of you may know that Christchurch has been hit by a bad earthquake. I have lost my business, and we no longer want to buy a house here! (not for a couple or years at least) So now we are left with a lot of "spare money" (house deposit, insurance from business) and all of a sudden now we can afford my "dream ring<strong>"</strong> it seems crazy crazy to spend so much money, I would much rather keep it in savings. I have decided<strong> I want a "fake" diamond (for many reasons), and spend around $1000 instead of $8,000 - $10,000 like I always thought</strong>. My question is do any of you ladies have "fake" diamonds? The ring I have decided I like, if it was real, would be about $15,000, with a 2ct centre stone. <strong>I want my friends and family to think its "real", is that bad?</strong> Because of our situation, we could afford the ring I like, in real diamonds.... But I could never spend that amount of money, now that we have it.  Even though I want people to think it's real, I am worried about lying to people. Any advice from Brides with "fake diamonds" and how they deal with family and firends questions would be much appreciated. And if you all think I'm stupid and a snob for wanting people to think I have a big expensive ring, when I don't, that would be great too! 
    Posted by tesskerr[/QUOTE]

    First of all, like many PP have already said, you can get a real diamond for $1000. It wouldn't be a 2 carat diamond, but it would still be real.

    Does it have to be a very large stone? Or would you prefer to have a smaller but real diamond? Because without spending that large amount of money, you can't have both. Decide which one is more important to you.

    Plenty of people have diamond alternative rings. But I do think it would be silly for you to lie to people and try to convince them that it's a real diamond when it's not. What's the point in that? From your concern about this, it sounds to me like you're more concerned about what other people think (from the size of it to it being a real diamond) and I don't think that should be the concern for an engagement ring.
  • edited December 2011
    Like PP's, I do not like the term "fake diamond". A diamond is a diamond. A moissanite is a moissanite. An asha is an asha. There's nothing wrong with not having a diamond in your engagement ring. I didn't know about moissanites until way after I had my engagement ring, and TBH, I think they're stunning and probably would have preferred it over a "real" diamond.
     
    Also, I'd LOVE to see what a $10K engagement ring looks like. Sh*t, I could think of so many better ways to spend that much money. Where are you getting a ring that expensive? I've heard some great things about bluenile.com where you can design a ring to fit your budget.

    Have you ever tried on a 2 carat diamond ring? 2 carats is HUGE. I mean, my mother has a diamond solitaire necklace that's one carat, and I couldn't imagine wearing a stone that big on my hand. My ring has three diamonds in it, and they probably total one carat.

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  • edited December 2011
    Ok...a few things.

    1)  If you wanted a 2 ct stone that cost 8-10k, it would have to be a pretty poor quality stone.  My diamond is half that size and my ring rang in at that price range.  Granted, I have a very blingy setting, but I digress.

    2)  IMHO, real diamonds 2ct or larger often look "fake" by virtue of their size.  So trying to pass off a 2ct plus CZ or moissanite as a real diamond wouldn't be very fruitful.

    3)  Lying about your stone is tacky.  Have your BF spend an amount that you both feel comfortable with.  You can get a "real" diamond at any price point.  Make a decision and own it.  There's nothing tackier than someone shoving a huge rock (that is obviously not a diamond) in your face and saying ZOMG, look at my huge DIAMOND.  People will know the difference, even if they're too polite to say so.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fake-diamond-engagement-rings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:efa218a3-ecd6-4a17-ab6b-410cb6937b05Post:c0fe7ded-0fa3-462c-923f-f037435f9ab2">Re: "fake diamond" engagement rings</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree wholeheartedly with this: And this: I despise the term "fake diamond".  My ring is a real moissanite, not a fake diamond, and I am proud of the decision that FI and I made.  I own that decision.  My ring wasn't exactly cheap (it was a custom design with a lot of side stones) but we didn't give one cent to the diamond industry.  Most people don't know enough about gemstones even to think to ask whether it's really a diamond, but I have no problem saying "no, it's a moissanite," if they do. Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    Elle I could not have said it better myself.
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