Tell or not tell...

Nichole5150

My fiance and I didn't do the whole proposal thing. We both just started making comments like "when we get married" or "at our wedding we'll do this" etc. We both have already started planning and have set a date. But, he doesn't want to tell anyone until I have a ring on my finger. So I don't know if I am "officially" engaged yet! We are saving money for the wedding, a new car and a down payment for a house, so, bling on my finger is not a priority right now. But, I'm having trouble planning when I can't tell anyone yet! Mom know's we are getting married eventually but no date, not even a year! Should we tell people now so our friends and family can help plan and save the date?

Narwhal

Are you engaged? Don't think about it. Just answer.

Then you know.

Nichole5150

I'm definitly engaged! I guess I just need to whap the fiance upside the head and tell him that no one is going to care if I don't have a shiny sparkly thing on my finger yet. This is my first (and better be my only!) wedding and his second. His first was a disaster and he is all supersticious about doing everything the "right" way this time. I'm going to have a talk with him and let him know the first wedding wasn't the problem, it was the bride! I'm not her and we are engaged even if I have to draw a ring with a Sharpie so we can get on with the planning!

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tell-not-tell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:faa9e6f2-b809-428c-9cd3-8e0ba287fa6cPost:53eaf524-c1fb-43c4-b102-d436698e91ad">Re: Tell or not tell...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm definitly engaged! I guess I just need to whap the fiance upside the head and tell him that no one is going to care if I don't have a shiny sparkly thing on my finger yet. This is my first (and better be my only!) wedding and his second. His first was a disaster and he is all supersticious about doing everything the "right" way this time. I'm going to have a talk with him and let him know the first wedding wasn't the problem, it was the bride! I'm not her and we are engaged even if I have to draw a ring with a Sharpie so we can get on with the planning!
Posted by Nichole5150[/QUOTE]

I like that you answered your own question, and saved us the trouble of doing that ;)

Okay, but in all seriousness: you're right, no one needs a ring to be engaged. A ring is merely a symbol of that engagement, but it doesn't have to be an expensive one at all. An engagement ring can be anything, it's just worn on your ring finger. But you definitely don't need one.

prasad007

Save the dates are generally sent out about 6 months before the wedding. It looks like you have about 13 months to go, so I wouldn't worry about telling people the date yet (it can also change... multiple times!). I don't see why you can't tell your families and friends that you are planning on getting married to each other though.

Congratulations!

CWill16

In your very first sentence you say "Fiance". I think that pretty much answers it.

If you and your guy agree you are engaged and want to tell everyone, go for it. Congratulations.

Beads921

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tell-not-tell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:faa9e6f2-b809-428c-9cd3-8e0ba287fa6cPost:53eaf524-c1fb-43c4-b102-d436698e91ad">Re: Tell or not tell...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm definitly engaged! I guess I just need to whap the fiance upside the head and tell him that no one is going to care if I don't have a shiny sparkly thing on my finger yet. This is my first (and better be my only!) wedding and his second. His first was a disaster and he is all supersticious about doing everything the "right" way this time. I'm going to have a talk with him and let him know the first wedding wasn't the problem, it was the bride! I'm not her and we are engaged even if I have to draw a ring with a Sharpie so we can get on with the planning!
Posted by Nichole5150[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>And, you answered your own question. There you go! You're engaged :)

</div>

mskdwright

I am in a situation a little similar to yours. I was asked, but I do not have a ring yet. We are planning and everything, but not many people know. He wanted to wait until I got the ring so it could be official. I was actually thinking about going on QVC and getting a Diamonique ring..small one and then he could save up for a band. That way he could tell people and we didn't put out a lot of money. Some times I think of a pregnant woman..she doesn't usually feel prego until she feels the first kick, but it does'n't change the fact that she is prego, you know? If you both agreed, then you are engaged. I know you want the symbol of it, but if you can't afford it now, just go with it. You can get a cheaper ring and maybe get one later on. Congratulations!!!!!

lisafarky

I don't have a ring (yet) but we are definitly engaged.  We went ring shopping this past weekend to find one's that I like so that he can surprise me with one of them and officially ask me.  Until then we're keeping it on the down low.  My parent's know cuz it's going to be in their backyard, so we have lots of cleaning up to do, but he hasn't told anyone on his side.  So I totally know what it's like to be planning but not being able to tell anyone.