S/O: Sensitive Work-Related Question. Long/venty.

marleylikeair

All gone. Thank you so much for all your insights, everyone!

calindi

I don't think there's usually ever a justifiable reason for throwing a colleague under the bus, especially when what they do doesn't damage your work.  Just to show you make fewer mistakes or to point out his errors is not a good enough reason - it will likely backfire and make you look catty and jealous and petty.  Good work shines through, so just be confident in your own work and pay attention to details.  Don't be afraid to toot your own horn, but don't trash someone else.

Elle1036

Ugh, Marley, that's a tough situation and I empathize.  In my last job, some of my co-workers were eager to blame somebody (anybody) else when things went wrong, and I ended up getting fired because I didn't speak up and defend myself often enough.

Typically, I would say to do your work and not be a tattle, but now that I've seen how that can harm your career, I feel differently.  You kind of have to look out for number one in some companies.  The problem I foresee for you is that, if you say anything to your boss, it'll look like you're just trying to say "See, I'm not the only one who makes mistakes," since you've already been called out for it.

Gah.  I wish I could tell you exactly how to handle it, but the truth is that if I knew, I wouldn't be unemployed right now.  Sorry for the useless post.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sensitive-work-related-question-longventy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fea75bd9-c9e8-4d2b-a74e-2d90994e414aPost:0535125a-1067-459e-9fba-2748c229f092">Re: S/O: Sensitive Work-Related Question. Long/venty.</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think there's usually ever a justifiable reason for throwing a colleague under the bus, especially when what they do doesn't damage your work.  Just to show you make fewer mistakes or to point out his errors is not a good enough reason - it will likely backfire and make you look catty and jealous and petty.  Good work shines through, so just be confident in your own work and pay attention to details.  Don't be afraid to toot your own horn, but don't trash someone else.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

I hear you, Cate, and that's exactly what I'm worried about.

Do you still think it would seem catty if I sat down, really calmly and rationally, and said I was a little concerned about the customers' being inconvenienced, and felt I should mention this so it could be fixed? That kind of approach? I'm not saying I'm going to, but I want to consider all options.

The thing is, I suspect this guy is throwing *me* under the bus, albeit probably unintentionally.

peekaboo2011

How close are you to your co-worker?  If you've got a decent working relationship with him, maybe you could talk to him, and say "Hey, I've noticed email addresses have been in wrong lately, maybe we could both pay a little more attention to details?"  That way, you're not blaming him for anything persay, but you are making it clear that you've seen mistakes and you've been correcting them.  If you aren't close to him, I would just keep doing your best and paying attention to detail, and your boss will take notice.  :-)

I used to work in a law office, and the paralegals upstairs would never answer the phones.  I eventually understood their jobs and started to answer questions when clients would call.  And at some point, our office manager sat me down and told me that I wasn't doing my job.  Yes, I was just some lowly receptionist, but our paralegals weren't doing their jobs and I was catching all the grief.  It drove me crazy, but I just said okay and went back to helping clients as best as I could.  I recently reconnected with the attorney that hired me in the first place to ask if he was hiring for another office, and he told me he would be willing to fire his staff to get me in there because when I worked in the other office, the clients knew who I was and asked for me.  Moral of the story - do your best, and your boss will take notice when it really counts.

marleylikeair

Elle, thanks for the empathizing! I know you didn't feel like your post was super helpful, but it was. It's so nice to know I'm not the only one.

ETA: I hit "submit" too quickly, sorry; just wanted to add that I'm so sorry that happened to you! 

marleylikeair

Peekaboo, wow. Good points. Thanks.

calindi

Yeah, it's tough because he's throwing you under the bus - but it only makes you look catty to do it back.  If the opportunity presents itself to bring a mistake kindly to his attention in a helpful way when your boss is within hearing distance, then go for it.  But bringing up issues that he doesn't see won't help your case and could hurt you.

marleylikeair

Sigh. I'm sure you're right, Cate. I *have* thought about doing what you're suggesting--bringing it up nicely while Boss is in earshot--but haven't yet. Hm. ::ponders::

ETA: Peekaboo, sorry, I didn't answer your question. I'm not really close with him at all. We barely ever see each other in person, actually. Ha. This does remind me, though, that I do need to make sure I keep a good working relationship with the guy, because I'm going to be asking for some pretty big schedule-changing help soon...gah.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sensitive-work-related-question-longventy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fea75bd9-c9e8-4d2b-a74e-2d90994e414aPost:11e23577-3bd4-4fbf-94d2-7e8ae7119fef">Re: S/O: Sensitive Work-Related Question. Long/venty.</a>:
[QUOTE]Elle, thanks for the empathizing! I know you didn't feel like your post was super helpful, but it was. It's so nice to know I'm not the only one. ETA: I hit "submit" too quickly, sorry; just wanted to add that I'm so sorry that happened to you! 
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]

Aw, thanks sweetie.  I've made my peace with it.  Considering that the person who was most willing to let me take the fall for her mistakes was my direct supervisor, I've realized that I'm better off now.  I don't want to work for a company that treats their employees that way.

marleylikeair

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sensitive-work-related-question-longventy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fea75bd9-c9e8-4d2b-a74e-2d90994e414aPost:00df2c11-a09b-432e-bea2-a3568c635383">Re: S/O: Sensitive Work-Related Question. Long/venty.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: S/O: Sensitive Work-Related Question. Long/venty. : Aw, thanks sweetie.  I've made my peace with it.  Considering that the person who was most willing to let me take the fall for her mistakes was my direct supervisor, I've realized that I'm better off now. <strong> I don't want to work for a company that treats their employees that way.</strong>
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

So very true! Thanks for reminding me of this.

leia1979

I like Peekaboo's approach the next time you happen to be in the office with the coworker. I also think it's not a good idea to mention the coworker's mistakes to your boss. It's better to mention them directly to him.

Personally I'm terrible at managing upward, but I say do your best work, and if there's is an opportunity to point out the good work you're doing, then do so.

DanieKA

I wouldn't say anything to the boss yet, but I would take meticulous notes and logs, for lack of a better word, not only of your regular work, but of all the times and problems you've had to fix of his doing. The fact the you clean up after him is fine if like you said, you get a call and it's an easy fix. I'd do that too. if I already have a customer on the phone and can just change a few letters in an e-mail, why not. 

But now that you are on notice that he has brought up your mistakes and the boss seems to be missing all of his, I'd just keep tabs. We'd all like to think it's fair and maybe your boss doesn't know how it looks, but I'd still just keep tabs of things. Just in case you need it. 

I hope it gets better!

Hazel_B

I agree with Cate, you don't want to seem catty about this. So, I think you have a couple options.

1. Take notes and if your boss talks about it with you again, then you have some evidence that other people are doing it.

2. Since you've been spoken to by your boss, let some time go by and meet with him. Tell him you've taken your talk to heart and are working hard to improve. Doing so, you've noticed colleagues (don't name names) occassionally make similar errors and that to improve customer service it might be good to have a pep talk with the entire team.

cu97tiger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sensitive-work-related-question-longventy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:fea75bd9-c9e8-4d2b-a74e-2d90994e414aPost:0d2a4bfe-c7a2-46f2-99aa-a7310c2c6de1">Re: S/O: Sensitive Work-Related Question. Long/venty.</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't say anything to the boss yet, but I would take meticulous notes and logs, for lack of a better word, not only of your regular work, but of all the times and problems you've had to fix of his doing. The fact the you clean up after him is fine if like you said, you get a call and it's an easy fix. I'd do that too. if I already have a customer on the phone and can just change a few letters in an e-mail, why not.  But now that you are on notice that he has brought up your mistakes<strong> and the boss seems to be missing all of his</strong>, I'd just keep tabs. We'd all like to think it's fair and maybe your boss doesn't know how it looks, but I'd still just keep tabs of things. Just in case you need it.  I hope it gets better!
Posted by DanieKA[/QUOTE]

<div>Marley - do you think the other part-timers know fo your bosses conversation with you? There's a decent chance that he had the same conversation with your co-workers, you just don't know about it. So if you start pointing out all their mistakes to your boss, it will just make things worse.</div><div>
</div><div>Think of it this way, would you want one of them keeping a list of every mistake you made? Instead, put your focus and energy into doing the best job you can do. Also, if you can think of tips, or checklists, or whatever, that might help ALL of the part-timers, bring that up to your boss. For example, maybe you stay on the phone with a customer until they receive the temail to verify you got the address right. That solves that problem without throwing your co-worker under the boss.</div><div>
</div><div>I know it's tough, but as PPs have said, if you concentrate on what you're doing, you'll end up coming out on top... if not in this job, then in the next one.</div>

ravenray

My first instinct is to say nothing.  That being said I have talked to my boss about things that people are doing wrong.  I have also been talked about.  Some of the ways she handled these were talking to people alone or addressing the group as a whole.  I think both ways work well.  My question is, does what this Co-worker does really bother you or are you still smarting from being reprimanded by your boss when he makes the same mistakes?   To me it sounds like your hurt, which is totally normal.  I would wait another month, if you still feel this way then say something, if not you will know you were just upset.    Hope that helps.

marleylikeair

Thanks for all the advice, you guys!

Danie, interesting idea. Do you mean keeping a log of every call I take? Sounds kind of cumbersome

Hazel, that's a good idea about suggesting the group pep talk!

Tiger, I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who got the talk. It had a particularly personalized feel to it.

Raven, yes, it really does bother me that I'm always catching and covering for his mistakes. I feel like my boss sees us as kind of the same, and it's clear to me that we're not! I was pretty freaked about the talk I got at first, but that was almost three weeks ago, and I'm over it. I'm just worried about my reputation at my job in light of it. If that makes sense.

Not sure what I'll do about this yet, but you guys really helped me think about it from all sides! I do know that I need to make sure I'm doing my work excellently (and ever-so-subtly tooting my own horn once in a while!).

calindi

If you have time, read the book "Play like a Man, Win like a Woman".  It changed how I deal in work situations and handle professional conflict.  A very interesting read (from both a sociological perspective and a personal one)!

marleylikeair

Cate - awesome. I'll definitely take a look at that book. I like how you have a self-help book for each concern I have and post about on NEY. 

SKP82

Marley,

When you catch your coworker's mistakes and fix them, is he typically in the office with you?  If so, I would simply (and sweetly) let him know that he made a mistake and have him fix it himself.  Heck, he might not know he is making so many mistakes if you are always cleaning up after him and not telling him about it. If it only happened occasionally, I wouldn't say anything about it, but it seems to be happening very often. 

I, personally, would want to know if I was making mistakes so that I could fix them myself.  I wouldn't want my coworkers feeling like they were cleaning up after me or carrying more weight than I was. 

Also, I feel like if I didn't say something to the coworker about it, I would eventually become so frustrated and fed up that I might let it out at the wrong time or in an inappropriate way. 

Good luck and I hope everything works out for ya! 

marleylikeair

SKP, good thoughts, thanks for that! No, we're almost never in the office together, actually. But when we change over shifts, we talk, sometimes over speaker, and usually with the boss in earshot. Maybe I can adapt what you're suggesting to the shift-change-over conversations. I'll definitely think about it.

ETA: Andplusalso, I love your sig quote and I am stealing it for my FB status right now.

loves2shop4shoes

Don't throw your co-worker under the bus to make yourself look better to your boss.  That's smarmy and you're a better person than that.  Just because your coworker may be that low doesn't mean you need to stoop to that level.

If you REALLY suspect that your coworker is throwing you under the bus, talk to him and tell him that you would appreciate that he tell you DIRECTLY if he's catching your mistakes, after all, you've caught SEVERAL of his mistakes and have been kind enough to deal with them yourself instead of making a mountain out of a molehill to your superior.

desertsun

I'm not afraid to be the odd person out on this one.

Personally, my opinion is that it is unethical to allow customers to continually receive poor service simply b/c you are afraid of looking bad to your boss or co-worker.

It is in the customer's AND the company's best interest for fewer mistakes to happen.

If you notice an error from the co-worker similar to one that your boss talked about, I would bring your boss's attention to it simply by saying, "I noticed Bill did X thing that I also did a few weeks ago. If two of us are making the same type of error within such a short time frame, I fear that this mistake is happening more often and it's not getting caught, and I want our customers to get the best service possible. Do you think you could lead a re-training or a review session of best practices just so that we can be sure we are keeping communication clear and consistent and making fewer mistakes? I know our customers would appreciate it."

By admiting your mistake at the same time as pointing out your co-workers, but focusing on how that impacts your customers, you are acknowleding your error and taking responsibility for it, and proctively seeking a solution with the customer as the focus, NOT you or your co-worker's performance. I think that's a win win.

JMO.

DanieKA

Hey Marley! I meant keeping a log of the times you come across/clean up his mistakes. But you've since gotten a lot of great advice here. I'm kind of confused on what I would do now. I guess it just all depends on you, your boss and the relationship you have and temperament of the company. Some bosses would be receptive to this, some would just want you to focus on your work and no one else's. It's tough. 

marleylikeair

Desert, thanks for your thoughts. I hear you on the customer service end. I'll definitely take your approach into consideration.

Danie, thanks for clarifying. You're right: I'm going to have to feel this one out.