Getting the blues & BM bitterness

Jennc12

  I am so excited for our wedding and to marry my future hubs, but I am getting overwhelmed and sad.  My one BM has had a lot of weddings to attend and then went through a break up, so I have avoided asking her help on things because I didn't want to hurt her.  My MOH is my sister and in her last semester of nursing school, so I have basically taken the same approach there.  I started crying yesterday because I gave them eachother's phone numbers to plan the bachelorett party and they still basically left it on me.

  I am so disappointed that they couldn't even come together to do this and/or at least pretend that this was an important event.  I have worked very hard not to be a bridezilla and respect the fact that they have lives and are very busy.

  Am I being immature? Should I just suck it up and plan this, too? I am afraid that I will be too resentful to enjoy it but think I might regret it if I don't do it? Suggestions? Thoughts?

Chobot

Hi Jenn

When is your wedding? It may be too early to be thinking about showers and bachelorette parties. Like LucyHC said, you are not supposed to plan the party or even push for one. I was only allowed to write a list of the female guests...

If it is before 4 months, you have a lot of time. 

Jennc12

  I am getting married May 11, so we are getting close.  My MOH was the one that originally brought it up and was going to plan it.  She suggested going to a comedy club which made me very happy.  

  I think that what upset me was that she said that she was going to plan it and my other BM said she wanted to help and then it all fell apart. I was under the impression that it was their decision and was just trying to follow up for work schedule purposes.  Feeling like I was pushing them for it is what made me back off.  I was under the understanding that it was between them, as well.

  The last thing that I want to do is make them feel obligated. To me it is the same as forcing someone to watch a movie they dislike or attend a function that they would not...sucks all the fun out for everyone.

  Thanks for your feedback.  I am just going to let it go and not say another word about it then.  I just would have rathered if they had said that it was going to be too much at this time, either financially or schedule-wise, then start to plan and then force me to plan it.

renoclaf

any chance they're going to surprise you?  Just because you're not in the loop doesn't mean they totally dropped the ball.  Trust people.  Have faith in your loved ones.

Jennc12

I would really like to think so, but the way that things went down/are going down...I don't think so.  Just going to have to be a big girl and suck it up

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_getting-the-blues-bm-bitterness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:0355332b-3895-430c-9af7-277d51c20d90Post:740a444f-c4ea-4b3e-a0b4-91440762ab1b">Re: Getting the blues & BM bitterness</a>:
[QUOTE]I would really like to think so, but the way that things went down/are going down...I don't think so.  Just going to have to be a big girl and suck it up :)
Posted by Jennc12[/QUOTE]

<div>Pretty much, yes.  If they don't throw you a b-party then you don't have one.  Life will go on, you'll still be married.  Right now it may be a source of disappointment but don't let it color your wedding plans - focus on what you do have, not what you don't.</div>

Jennc12

Very true.  I think that I will let myself be bummed for tonight and let it go tomorrow.  The most important thing really is our wedding and he has been very sweet and supportive.  Maybe this is my little eye opener to refocus on the most important part.

ceh789

Excellent plan.  Also - totally unrelated - you should swap your sig pic for the one of you guys standing by the building (barn?) - it's so cute!  You guys look so happy

Jennc12

Thank you I might do that