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My future father n law doesn't want to attend wedding!!

rainyyrainyy
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in Chit Chat
My fiance's mom-dad have been divorced for almost 15 years & have not seen or talked to each other since. Our destination wedding is in Sept & his dad just informed us that he won't be able to attend because it's too painful to see his ex-wife..My fiance's mom is attending with her new hubby.My fiance' is devastated but not really surpised by his refusing to attend. He's an only child & I feel horrible too..Anyone have same type of situation? Please advise on how I can handle situation...Thank you!
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Re: My future father n law doesn't want to attend wedding!!

  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I don't have any advice other than to support your FI.  What a shame your FFIL can't put aside his own feelings for one day to attend his own son's wedding.  I'm sure your parents will do their best to try to fill the void and make him feel welcome and a part of your family from now on.
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  • peaceluvinbridepeaceluvinbride member
    First Comment
    I think I will probably be in the same situation.  My parents were divorced about 20 years ago and my father is re-married.  I moved in with my mom at 13 and my dad used the whole "it's too painful to talk to your mom/stepdad" excuse as the reason for never calling me. He lives in California with his wife and two children.  His wife has MAJOR insecurity issues (she sent me a HUGE evelope full of every one of my father's pictures that included my mom in them...I mean ALL of them!!  Every family picture of us together...EVERYTHING...not just pics of her and my dad) and I don't think she will be comfortable with him attending my wedding since my mom and her entire family will be there.  We're getting married in MN which is where my mom and her HUGE family are from.  I'm torn about the whole situation.  On one hand I, of course, want my father there.  On the other I'm not really sure.  I'm EXTREMELY close to my step father (he and my mom were together for 15 years but they're divorced now although he and I still remain very close).  If my dad comes I would not want to hurt his feelings by having my SD walk me down the aisle but if my dad doesn't come it's kind of a slap in the face.  I don't know either way if he's coming or not but I really can't see his wife allowing it.  We shall see.....
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  • peaceluvinbridepeaceluvinbride member
    First Comment
    Oh yeah, the wife sent me that package of pictures when I was 15 or 16 without a note or an explanation. I just went to the mailbox one day and opened a huge package full of family pictures that once belonged to my dad.  I don't understand how he could have LET her do that.  I don't think he has ONE picture left of us as a family.
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I have not met my FFIL (dating FI more than 3 years), and he has yet to even acknowledge the invitation.  And the wedding is on Saturday.  I appreciate he lives out of state and his wife is ill, but he could at least drop a freakin' email that says 'got your invitation.  congratulations.  sorry I can't be there with you'.  I just don't understand FI's family.
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  • ffmaidffmaid
    First Comment
    Your role is to stop feeling horrible and help FI feel better. But FFIL is an adult and he has every right to deccline the invite for whatever reason he wishes. It is a shame but it was not a summons just an invite and he will be the one missing out. However you just need to be there for fi and be supportive and decrease the drama
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  • becky33333becky33333 member
    First Comment
    We worried about the same issue. His parents have been divorced for 20+ yrs. Me and my FI have been together for almost 7 years and I have never meet his dad. He did not attend his HS or college graduation. He has never come to visit our home which we purchased 3 yrs ago. I have never meet him and spoke to him twice. Once he was nice the other time he was mad at my FI and took it out on me. But according to my FI mom her ex husband is coming and excited about it. I am nervous about how he will interact with everyone since most of the familys have meet serveral times. It will be interesting to see.My advice to you is just support your FI and try to make him feel better about it. Take him somewhere to do something special to take his mind off of it. [url=http://<a href="http://www.weddingcountdown.com" rel='nofollow'>www.weddingcountdown.com</a>][img]<a href="http://img.weddingcountdown.com/ticker/senwdtm.png" rel='nofollow'>http://img.weddingcountdown.com/ticker/senwdtm.png</a>[/img][/url]
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