Chit Chat

Home Body & Social Butterfly

Hi ladies!My FI and I seem to have the same conversation over and over again about having down time.  He likes to be out doing things all of the time and I feel like I don't have enough time 1) alone with him 2) to just veg out and 3) to do chores.No matter how often I tell him, he still doesn't understand.  He says he likes the downtime, but then he doesn't follow through.  We just had a conversation about this 3 weeks ago and he's doing the same thing this weekend.  We've been really booked up the past two weeks and we're going on vacation next weekend through the following weekend with a group of friends and family.  If I don't get the time now, it's going to be weeks before an opportunity comes again.I already sent him an email about reviewing what we have on our list for this weekend because I feel overbooked.  The problem is that I feel resentful that I have to keep bringing this up!Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Re: Home Body & Social Butterfly

  • We are kind of like that. He loves having people around, I like a blance.I luckily have more time off than DH.  So I use that time to do chores and enjoy vegging out, etc.  So that gives me time to go out with him.   But if I find I'm too over scheduled I just let him go without me.   I find sometimes if I say I'm not going, he ends up staying home with me anyway.  If he does go I do not get mad or anything. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Just because he wants to go out and you want to chill does not mean he can not go out and you can chill. Split up one night this weekend  
  • I agree with PPs. You don't have to be together all of the time. I actually love being home by myself, so I get my down time when H goes golfing or out for pizza and beer with his friends. I don't think that you have to be on the same page for things like these in marriage. Just compromise and make the best of it.
  • Absolutely! I completely agree with the others! I'm actually the social butterfly & FI is a home-body. We like having separate lives so the time we do spend together is more precious #1 & #2 - we have more things to talk about! :) Everything will work out perfectly fine. Just relax & have your alone/down time & then when he comes home from his night out, be wearing something sexy & show him what he's missing! ;) hehehe.....
  • My fiancé and I are exactly like that ... what I found works best for us is to have a schedule (but not so rigid that you can't make compromises to it).  Our schedule includes him having a night to do what he wants that doesn't involve me and it's turned into 3 nights lol (this gives me plenty of quiet downtime).  We have a set date night, and now we've started making Saturday afternoons our time to prep the house for sale.He didn't think it would work for him, but he's actually happy we set a schedule now :)  Things seem to fall into place more this way.
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