Stressing Bride

lyzzym

Tonight at dinner I finally realized that my fiancé was right when he was always saying "Baby your family doesn't like me". My eyes were opened thank goodness he was not there to witness the whole dinner situation but it was just awful. I work full-time, am working on going to school full-time and planning a wedding.  I dont sleep anymore and am just so stressed. Any ideas? I just feel like its up to me to hold everything together. 

loop0406

You need to sleep. Just think, everything passes, the good times, the bad times, life is always up and down. Things will get better. I suggest concentrating on your wedding or your job to get you through this. Just because your family doesn't like him now, doesn't mean they won't like him later.

quotequeen

What happened?  Just try to let it go.

Mrs.B6302007

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stressing-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:108fd1fc-9591-4f84-be1e-1f482bbe68f5Post:6b44afd8-52fa-43b1-b22a-0fd60e2ff53d">Stressing Bride</a>:
[QUOTE]Tonight at dinner I finally realized that my fiancé was right when he was always saying "Baby your family doesn't like me". My eyes were opened thank goodness he was not there to witness the whole dinner situation but it was just awful. I work full-time, am working on going to school full-time and planning a wedding.  I dont sleep anymore and am just so stressed. Any ideas? I just feel like its up to me to hold everything together. 
Posted by lyzzym[/QUOTE]

I'm lost.
Is it possible that you're stressing and not sleeping because deep down, you know your family's right about your FI?  If my family said they didn't like my FI, I'm thinking I would consider that a huge red flag.

[Deleted User]

I'm kinda lost, too. What prompted your FI to say your family doesn't like him?

Even though planning a wedding can be stressful, you can't let it get to you. You have to take breaks and maybe you need to reconsider things. Maybe you have too much going on and need to hold off on the wedding until you are done with school, even though many brides have worked full time and gone to school full time as well. Is there any family or friends around that can help take some things off of you?

aerinpegadrak

Why, exactly, does your family not like him?  I know that my dad and brother don't exactly love my husband because he's agnostic and kind of a smartass, but then, they're not thrilled with those things about me, either, and the things they don't like about him, I happen to love.  However, if they had more serious concerns, I would definitely want to hear them out and get to the bottom of it.  Sometimes family is just overly picky and no one will ever be good enough for you, but sometimes they can see things that you can't.

mwhitson14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_stressing-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:108fd1fc-9591-4f84-be1e-1f482bbe68f5Post:eae26eda-546e-4caa-a76e-cf000cec775e">Re: Stressing Bride</a>:
[QUOTE]Why, exactly, does your family not like him?  I know that my dad and brother don't exactly love my husband because he's agnostic and kind of a smartass, but then, they're not thrilled with those things about me, either, and the things they don't like about him, I happen to love.  However, if they had more serious concerns, I would definitely want to hear them out and get to the bottom of it.  <strong>Sometimes family is just overly picky and no one will ever be good enough for you, but sometimes they can see things that you can't.</strong>
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

This. Sometimes things that they don't like about your FI are things that you may love him about him, and sometimes it could be serious red flags about him that you don't see. Personally, I'd have a heart to heart with your family about their concerns and then decide if they are valid or just nitpicky.

nhoncell

Okay first of all I have the same issues in my family. My Dad, Stepmom and brother love my FI to death! My friends love him! Before I met him I always hung out with the guys because most of my girls were married with kids and a lot of my guy friends were still single and hanging out a lot and they love my FI. But my MOTHER.....thats a whole new ball game! I feel like I have to hold everything together too. At first I let her tell me her side but what I quickly learned is that my mom didn't really know me the real me at all. If she did she would understand why I want to spend the rest of my life with him. And let me be very clear I am fixing to turn thirty and grew up in the south where Momma and Granny are the ones you have to please. I contributed to the fact that I was so busy trying to please my mom she really had no idea of the woman I was becoming on the inside. When I met my FI he was one of those guys that had been with a company for years and they let him go(when the economy went bad). It took him almost a year to find work. But he had just started working again when we met. It was a rough start. She expected for him to wine and dine me when in reality I was so happy I had someone to fish with, ride in the woods with, a cuddle on the couch with. Listen to your family but stay true to yourself! We will all make mistakes some our parents made before us and some not but be true to yourself no matter what! I feel for you stay strong and good luck!

lyzzym

They dont like him because he lives far away and we are young and I am moving to be with him because that is what I want, and we want together as a couple.  They just have a bad view on marriage because of what happened with my brother.  The thing also is because they talk about us when we are not in the room and then I hear about it later.  He feels like they dont like him just because of the sly comments that are made, and i finally heard them and realized he is kinda telling the truth.  If they had major concerns of course I would listen and I would think if they are right, but they really dont.  I love him with all my heart but the stress my family adds kinda seems like too much sometimes.  I have an amazing mother in law who is doing so much of it for me, with out her I think I would have already been like "screw this" lets go to vegas. 

aerinpegadrak

How old are you?

lyzzym

I am 19, my FI 22 we will be 20 and 23 when we get married. 

aerinpegadrak

Yeah, if I were your parents, I wouldn't be thrilled about the situation either.  How long have you two been together?  You mention that you work full-time, is it a career thing or a minimum wage thing?  What are his job prospects?

Personally, I wouldn't even be entertaining the idea of any marriage talk from one of my teenage children, so I can completely see where your parents are coming from on this.  There has never been any harm in waiting until you both have more life experience under your belts to get married.

MissIntentional

my husband's father's side of the family doesn't like me. his brothers act like i'm not in the room, even on our wedding day. it sucks, but it's something i'll have to deal with.

lyzzym

We have been together for a year, I am making 17.50 an hour at a job that is putting me through school, and he is working full time for an airline corporation.  We are happy together and we are as young as my parents where.