My finace and I are getting married this November, have sent the invites and are covering the majority of the cost with a little help from our parents. Each parent is contributing about 20%. I’ll start with the background… My FI and I have had numerous conversations with his mother and family about the guest list. His mother originally wanted us to invite over 250 people! His family is from a small town about 5 hours away. We have talked to his family and explained that we wish we could invite everyone but due to the budget and the capacity of the room it’s not possible. We also informed them we will not be inviting people to the reception, after dinner, because we’ll be charged an additional $15 per person. In fact we have told them blatantly that if guests show up who are not invited they will be asked to leave and we will be deeply hurt by their actions.
Now to the present… I feel like his family his passive aggressive and I’m deeply hurt by their actions. His sister keeps asking about the reception and basically implies she’ll be inviting more people. His SIL crashed one of my parties with her friends from the area, his aunt has crashed other parties, his friends complain about people we have not invited... And his mother’s friends are responding with notes saying they are coming and bring their adult children to the ceremony; the children will leave for dinner and come back for dancing…
I’m at my wits end, we have tried talking with them and they say all the right things to us but then do the opposite. And I’m very nervous they are going to crash our wedding. What should we do?