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Unprepared guests!

So I just need to vent a little. My wedding is going to be sort of a destination wedding. It's in the same state where basically all of my family is but it's in a big touristy area, and not in the city where I grew up. Knowing this I reserved rooms at a hotel early and because it's at a campground I also reserved cabins early. Now because this place is so popular the campground was only able to hold the cabins until March 1st. Which is understandable. My wedding is August 4, I sent out save the dates in December with all the booking information on in, along with our website. And guess what....ONLY A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY BOOKED! So now I have heard the campground is really filling up fast, luckily the hotel will hold the rooms until July but still I didn't block off a lot becaus I assumed most people would want to stay where the action was, and so they would have to drive somewhere after. My feelings are really hurt because I know people are going to come to me and my mom and complain that they can't stay anywhere but I gave them plenty of time to book, and they live in the same state so they know it's a hot tourist destination. And I feel like obviously they don't care that much about the wedding because they don't care enough to make plans ahead of time. I refuse to help anyone who comes to me not finding somewhere to stay. I don't feel like this is mean. The invitations go out in June so hopefully they will get the final hint then... but even then it will be cutting it close. 

SO FRUSTERATED!!!! 

Thanks for listening. 

Re: Unprepared guests!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:1595d12b-26fa-4a3b-a944-1a23c1ba1412">Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I just need to vent a little. My wedding is going to be sort of a destination wedding. It's in the same state where basically all of my family is but it's in a big touristy area, and not in the city where I grew up. Knowing this I reserved rooms at a hotel early and because it's at a campground I also reserved cabins early. Now because this place is so popular the campground was only able to hold the cabins until March 1st. Which is understandable. My wedding is August 4, I sent out save the dates in December with all the booking information on in, along with our website. And guess what....ONLY A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY BOOKED! So now I have heard the campground is really filling up fast, luckily the hotel will hold the rooms until July but still I didn't block off a lot becaus I assumed most people would want to stay where the action was, and so they would have to drive somewhere after. My feelings are really hurt because I know people are going to come to me and my mom and complain that they can't stay anywhere but I gave them plenty of time to book, and they live in the same state so they know it's a hot tourist destination. And I feel like obviously they don't care that much about the wedding because they don't care enough to make plans ahead of time. I refuse to help anyone who comes to me not finding somewhere to stay. I don't feel like this is mean. The invitations go out in June so hopefully they will get the final hint then... but even then it will be cutting it close.  SO FRUSTERATED!!!!  Thanks for listening. 
    Posted by ElyseE25[/QUOTE]

    I guess I'm not understanding why your feelings are hurt.  THey're not doing anything to YOU by not booking their lodging early. I don't think it's a fair statement to say that they don't care enough about the wedding to book early.  Their lives don't revolve around your wedding so to say they don't care by not booking now is taking it way too personally.   Also, have you taken into consideration that since it's a semi-DW, some of your guests might be setting aside a bit at a time and aren't 100% that they'll be able to make it yet?
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
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    06.10.10

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:ac747fa3-73a8-40ef-9c15-a9a52b94f49e">Re: Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Unprepared guests! : I guess I'm not understanding why your feelings are hurt.  THey're not doing anything to YOU by not booking their lodging early. I don't think it's a fair statement to say that they don't care enough about the wedding to book early.  Their lives don't revolve around your wedding so to say they don't care by not booking now is taking it way too personally.   Also, have you taken into consideration that since it's a semi-DW, some of your guests might be setting aside a bit at a time and aren't 100% that they'll be able to make it yet?
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. Just b/c they didn't book at the campground doesn't mean they aren't attending. They are adults and will figure it out. It has nothing to do with you
  • Honestly, as a guest I wouldn't book anything in March for a wedding in August.  I know it seems like this is the center of the universe to you, but to your guests, it's really far away.  I'm sure they're looking at the info thinking "Oh well - no campground.  Hotel is okay!  I'll book closer to the date."

    Don't over-analyze!
  • ""I guess I'm not understanding why your feelings are hurt.  THey're not doing anything to YOU by not booking their lodging early""

    ""They are adults and will figure it out. It has nothing to do with you""


    I have to disagree with this.  We had a few guests who also procrastinated on booking their rooms.  Because the guests did call us, the hosts, for assistance, the burden DID fall on us to scramble and find accommodations the week before the wedding.

    Both the MOG and myself booked an extra room at the hotel in anticipation of such a scenario.  (There was no penalty if we cancelled the reservation within 48 hours.)  When the booking "due date" loomed near, we sent a reminder via email to those we knew for certain would require lodging.  You might want to do that as well.

    Perhaps you could call the campgrounds and see if there is any possibility to extend the date of booking cabins. If not, let guests know that the cabins are no longer an option and urge them to book hotels soon so that the same fate doesn't befall those who hoped to stay at the cabins.  If there is no penalty, perhaps you could hold a few hotel rooms in your name as well. 

    It's far better to try to do things now then deal with complaints the week before your wedding.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:1154740a-374a-42d9-abe6-9bf00195b9b3">Re: Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]""I guess I'm not understanding why your feelings are hurt.  THey're not doing anything to YOU by not booking their lodging early"" ""They are adults and will figure it out. It has nothing to do with you"" I have to disagree with this.  We had a few guests who also procrastinated on booking their rooms.  Because the guests did call us, the hosts, for assistance, the burden DID fall on us to scramble and find accommodations the week before the wedding. Both the MOG and myself booked an extra room at the hotel in anticipation of such a scenario.  (There was no penalty if we cancelled the reservation within 48 hours.)  When the booking "due date" loomed near, we sent a reminder via email to those we knew for certain would require lodging.  You might want to do that as well. Perhaps you could call the campgrounds and see if there is any possibility to extend the date of booking cabins. If not, let guests know that the cabins are no longer an option and urge them to book hotels soon so that the same fate doesn't befall those who hoped to stay at the cabins.  If there is no penalty, perhaps you could hold a few hotel rooms in your name as well.  It's far better to try to do things now then deal with complaints the week before your wedding.
    Posted by mobkaz[/QUOTE]

    <div>I'm glad you understand what is going on. I say it's a semi destination wedding only because the majority of guests still only live 3 1/2 hours away... so booking a room for 1 night is completely plausable. I might call the hotel we already blocked off rooms at and see if they can add more. I know the campground wont let us hold onto the cabins anymore, and they wont let us reserve campsites. And I don't feel comfortable booking the sites since I don't think a lot of people will be using tent site, and you have to pay up front. Thanks for understanding though. </div>
  • Mobkaz you didn't have to take on the lodging responsibility of your guests.

    Elyse you are stressing way to much over this. If I might be attending a wedding in 6 months there is no way I would book accomodations now.

    It is unfair for you to assume that since your guest are not booked now that they don't care about your wedding. Actually no one will care as much about your wedding as yourself and you need to just acknowledge that fact now and let it go.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:1154740a-374a-42d9-abe6-9bf00195b9b3">Re: Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]""I guess I'm not understanding why your feelings are hurt.  THey're not doing anything to YOU by not booking their lodging early"" ""They are adults and will figure it out. It has nothing to do with you"" I have to disagree with this.  We had a few guests who also procrastinated on booking their rooms.  <strong>Because the guests did call us, the hosts, for assistance, the burden DID fall on us to scramble and find accommodations the week before the wedding.</strong> Both the MOG and myself booked an extra room at the hotel in anticipation of such a scenario.  (There was no penalty if we cancelled the reservation within 48 hours.)  When the booking "due date" loomed near, we sent a reminder via email to those we knew for certain would require lodging.  You might want to do that as well. Perhaps you could call the campgrounds and see if there is any possibility to extend the date of booking cabins. If not, let guests know that the cabins are no longer an option and urge them to book hotels soon so that the same fate doesn't befall those who hoped to stay at the cabins.  If there is no penalty, perhaps you could hold a few hotel rooms in your name as well.  It's far better to try to do things now then deal with complaints the week before your wedding.
    Posted by mobkaz[/QUOTE]

    And I disagree with this. The burden didn't fall on you, the hosts. The burden was always on the guests and they dropped the ball. You didn't have to wipe their butts for them because they were too irresponsible to do so for themselves, you <em>chose</em> to do it. Guests have to shoulder some responsibility too.
  • edited March 2012
    Is it possible that alot of your guests just aren't outdoor people?  I know that even if you were getting married at the campsite I would opt to stay at the hotel because I'm not big into camping.  Is it possible most of your guests are the same way?

    Either way I think you are stressing about this too much for now.  I would just ask the hotel if they can block off more rooms and be done with it.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2012
    It's not that I don't understand where you are coming from, Elyse... it's that we're trying to explain that this isn't something you should worry about because your guests are adults and you shouldn't assume it's a reflection on how they feel about your wedding.

    It's not up to you to find them lodging if they drop the ball.  You gave them all the info.  The rest is up to them.
  • Who books rooms 6 months in advance?  I would honestly be shocked if anyone had booked a room for August already.  They'll book it when they're ready.  If the place fills up, they can find something else or pitch a tent in the parking lot.  You gave them the info, the rest is not your problem.  

    Relax.  
  • I understand people are not moving as fast as you want them to, but at the end of the day, it's their problem, not yours.  They are grown adults and can make their own decisions and can make arrangements on their own time.  You don't have to make their lodging an issue.  You already made the arrangements that they can take advantage of if they choose.  It has nothing to do with your wedding.  Don't take it personally.

    I also have to say that 3 1/2 hours is no big deal.  I know some people who won't spend the night with that short a drive for a wedding. 
  • I think it's a little over-dramatic to say not booking a  campsite 6 months in advance = they don't care about you and your wedding.

    My wedding was a lot like yours.  It was about 3-4 hours for most of our guests.  Others were even farther away. It was a popular resort town, limited rooms, etc.

     About 1/3 of the guests booked their rooms when then STD went out 9 months out.   Another 1/3 booked when the invites came out in July.  Some booked their rooms only a few weeks out.

    I have a wedding in Austria on Aug 18th and we still have not booked our rooms either.  Not planning to for another month either.  We love the couple, planning on going.  We just always book late.  If we have to pay more or stay somewhere else.  We know it's our issue and not the couples.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:a606a8a8-3a18-4c87-b5f4-4577e6dcca05">Re: Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unprepared guests! : And I disagree with this. The burden didn't fall on you, the hosts. The burden was always on the guests and they dropped the ball. You didn't have to wipe their butts for them because they were too irresponsible to do so for themselves, you chose to do it. Guests have to shoulder some responsibility too.
    Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]


    Exactly! 

    OP - if a guest contacts you for lodging help because everything's full, you are well within your right to nicely tell them you can't help.   Don't feel obligated to help anyone who didn't help themselves first.  Having some kind of a prepared answer tucked away might keep you from getting caught off guard.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • August is only 4 months away. not 6.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:f1d632fc-be51-4188-b0a0-62f0612e6774">Re: Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]August is only 4 months away. not 6.
    Posted by ElyseE25[/QUOTE]

    <div>Okay, 4 months away.</div><div>
    </div><div>Still not a big deal.  As I said I have a wedding in another country on Aug 18.  I have not booked anything yet.  NBD</div>






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I think you're being way too over-dramatic here. Who cares if they didn't book? If they want to come, they will find somewhere to stay. And you do realize not everyone knows their work schedules this far in advance? I certainly wouldn't. And honestly, no o e will care about your wedding like you do.
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  • Frankly, I'm an adult. I don't need you telling me when I should or should not book a hotel. If I want to book a day before your wedding that's my choice and it doesn't mean I don't care about your wedding. My wedding is in Sept and no one has booked rooms and I'm perfectly fine. Your responsibility is not to help them find lodging. That's their job if they want to come. Relax and move on to something else.
  • Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on yours. If they don't book in time, it's totally on them.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:f1d632fc-be51-4188-b0a0-62f0612e6774">Re: Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]August is only 4 months away. not 6.
    Posted by ElyseE25[/QUOTE]

    <div>It's 5.</div><div>
    </div><div>The reference to 6 months in advance was in response to the place only holding them to March 1, which would require them to book by February, 6 months in advance.  </div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:1f1e2d25-fe02-4da3-9e53-ca6bd72fffeb">Re: Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who books rooms 6 months in advance?  I would honestly be shocked if anyone had  booked a room for August already.  They'll book it when they're ready.  If the place fills up, they can find something else or pitch a tent in the parking lot.  You gave them the info, the rest is not your problem.   Relax.  
    Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

    This

     

  • We didn't even book our airfare for our own HM more than 4 months out, I think you are majorly overreacting about your guests not booking accomodations.  And it's quite ridiculous to equate booking a room to how much they care about your wedding...way off base there and completely untrue.

    I understand feeling frustrated at first, but guests have PLENTY of time, and even if they don't it's not your responsibility to find accomodations for them.  Heck, they could be planning to drive home, have a friend there to stay with, have their own hotel they want to stay at, etc, etc, etc.  You are overthinking this, just step back, relax, and let your guests take care of themselves.  They are adults...I'm sure they are capable of taking care of their own accomodations.
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  • I think other posters have offered great advice and input.
    I just want to say that you REALLY need to chill out. It's up to your guests to book their rooms. It's not your job and to get your feelings hurt because they haven't booked a room, this far out, is just childish and silly.

    My cousin is getting married in June. We haven't booked a room yet. You wanna know why? Because we haven't received an actual invitation yet (STD, yes, Invite, no). We're not going to go and book a room for a one night stay, this far out when things could still change with their wedding plans as far as time, location, etc.

    There are so many bigger things to worry about in life (even though it's best not to always worry), regardless, this ISN'T one of those things. Slap a band-aid on your hurt feelers and get over it.
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  • Elyse, I feel where you're coming from! I am very good at planning in advance and I'm the type that would probably book my hotel room/campground site very early on. However, most of my family isn't that way, and I've just had to learn to accept it.

    Like other posters have commented, I would just let this go. Lots of people aren't very good about planning in advance, and I'm sure they'll figure out alternate accommodations if everything near your wedding location is full. Is there a neighboring town/area they could stay in instead?
  • Most that are coming to my wedding will be wanting to stay the night in a hotel.  They know this, I know this, and honestly I don't care if they don't book their hotel room now.  I don't care if they wait until the day of the wedding to find one.  That's on them.  

    They are more than old enough to know how much time in advance to book a room. 

    It's still 4 months away.  Mine is in 4 and I don't even have MY hotel room booked.  
  • edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_unprepared-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1991a980-56ad-412b-ae6f-4bc18d14266dPost:c8aef7c1-f459-43ae-a024-94f30d2826ce">Re: Unprepared guests!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would guess that if not many guests have booked campsites, it's because they don't camp.  If I were invited to a wedding at a campground, I might go, but nothing in the world would get me to actually CAMP.  I'd attend the wedding, stick around long enough to be polite, then hightail it back to civilization.  You might want to block off more hotel rooms.
    Posted by LucyHC[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this!

     I wouldn't stay at a campsite, I'm not a camping person at all! Maybe your guests aren't either and the are planning on staying somewhere else. Regardless, don't stress yourself out about whether or not people have made their travel arrangements yet because its not your problem if they wait until the last minute.

    If I was invited to a wedding where we had to book a hotel room, I'd wait until about 1-2 months before the wedding.
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2012
    Or maybe the campground has some required non-refundable deposit and your camping guests weren't willing to do that so far in advance.
  • Will everyone please quit saying how far away August is....I'm getting married in Aug and am getting very impatient! :P
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