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I am so annoyed with finding a job.

Ugh. I never post about personal issues on here, but I feel like a really need to vent to somebody unbiased. 

So, my fiance and I just made a cross country move from Arkansas to Phoenix. He's from Arkansas, and I'm from Phoenix. We met and started dating here, but moved to Arkansas for about a year and a half after his father died to be closer to his mother. Neither of us liked it a whole lot, so we moved back here. We are both really happy to be back here. 

So, we are both full time students. He's in the Army Reserves and doesn't really work other than that because he uses his GI Bill, which if you all aren't familiar means the army gives him a pretty generous living stipend just for being in school. So that's fine, I really don't mind that he doesn't work other than the Reserves. I on the other hand have worked borderline full time in addition to going to school. I also don't mind that too much, honestly. Anyway, back in Arkansas I was a substitute teacher, which I LOVED because I'm in school to be a teacher, it paid well, and the hours were flexible and I also worked at a feed store, which I liked. Before we moved to Arkansas I worked for Starbucks for like 5 years, which I also LOVED, because I'm chatty and I basically got paid and received good benefits for socializing all day. I've also dabbled in lots of other part time work nannying, and teaching summer camp classes and things like that. I've been really lucky to never have had a job that I didn't like.

So anyway, moving back to Phoenix I applied for a lot of jobs here. I'm not qualified to substitute teach here, so I've been applying for a vast range of different types of jobs. I have a friend who referred me to a job, and I ended up getting it, even though it was questionable to me whether or not I wanted it. Its a call center job, as a debt collector and it pays higher than what I would make working retail, or even the other jobs I've applied at within the school districts here as classroom assistants similar positions. 

I really, really, REALLY do not want to take this call center job and I'm supposed to start in two weeks. I just know myself well enough to have a good feeling I am not going to enjoy it. My FI is really pressuring me to take it though, and he is getting really annoyed that I am entertaining applying for other jobs and going on other interviews. I feel like if I can get a job that will gain me experience in my field or would make me happier even if it paid a little less, I should take it. I feel like a couple more dollars an hour isn't worth it to me. It isn't really a huge money issue, IMO because we live in an apartment that is a lot less than we could afford even if I didn't have a job. That isn't me saying he should be paying all the bills, but our apartment is much cheaper than we can afford, and it is inclusive of all of our utilities. Neither of us have any debt other than our student debt, so other than car insurance and our cell phones we have very few other bills. We also have just both gotten our student loan refunds and he has also gotten his Army bonus, which is enough to basically cover all of our bills for a few months if we needed it to, so I kind of feel like I can be kind of choosey in the job department. 

It is probably stupid, but I am so stressed out and dreading this thing. Today we were having lunch at a bakery, and they had a help wanted sign, and I started talking to the manager about the position and I was kind of trying to feel out whether or not I could get a baker position there (or anywhere) without any commercial experience. We left and my fiance was obviously agitated about it, and he said to me "I have never seen anybody who has a job look for a job as much as you" So I explained to him that I didn't want that other job, mostly because I didn't think I would like it due to the sheer nature of debt collections, and because it was a boring office job and I would rather be working with people directly, and I like being on my feet and able to move around a lot because I am a high energy person. He literally said to me "Sometimes I love how outgoing and enthusiastic you are, but sometimes it is your most annoying quality." Obviously that made me mad, so we got into a heated discussion after that.

It just really upsets me because we don't see eye to eye on this issue at all. He was kind of saying he wanted to use his bonus to buy a new TV, and not pay bills since I was offered a well paying position, and he was telling me HE really would like me to have an office job because he doesn't want me to work a physically demanding job while he doesn't have one. Yes, I told him that makes no sense at all, but he just doesn't get why I would turn down a higher paying office job for a lower paying more physically demanding job, like working child care or retail. 

I'm really frustrated and I don't know what to do. I know if I decline this job offer, it will blow over with the FI and he will be just fine. I just kind of wonder if I should just take it and be thankful to have a job and let that be that. Am I being silly and childish about all this?


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Re: I am so annoyed with finding a job.

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    DItto PP. I would take the job and continue to look for one that better suited me.
     
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    I'm sorry but your FI kind of sounds like a d$ck to me in this situation.

    HE wants you to take a job that you don't really want.  HE doesn't want you to do anything physically demanding even though you would be perfectly content doing it.  HE wants you to take the higher paying job so HE can blow his bonus on something for HIM.

    Do you see where I am going with this?  It is all about HIM and what HE wants.

    I'm sorry but if HE wants a new TV then I suggest HE get himself a part-time job to save up for it and not force you to take a crap job so HE doesn't have to use his bonus on some bills.

    Oh and also everything Stage said.

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    I see absolutely nothing wrong with taking the job and then continuing to search for another job you'll like more. I think part of the reason your FI might be annoyed is because you (correctly or incorrectly) assume you won't like this job when you haven't even started yet. Take the job, keep the search discussion to a minimum for a few weeks, then if you really don't like it you can tell him how it's making you miserable and if he's a decent guy he'd be totally on board with you looking elsewhere at that point.

    I think if this were a full time teaching job with a year-long contract that you didn't like, I'd push you more to keep looking. But it's not- it's an business that has a lot of turnover and has come to expect that.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-am-so-annoyed-with-finding-a-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1ab6ff45-f27b-4aa5-b8b8-f60177e8deb5Post:fd830616-1dfe-46ce-a758-ee7965ebe243">Re:I am so annoyed with finding a job.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I am so annoyed with finding a job.: First, OP already said they have zero debt aside from student loans. Second, while I agree that I wouldn't turn down the job you're starting in 2 weeks, I would absolutely keep looking. Working telemarketing or debt collection is a miserable job if it's not something you specifically like, which is why it does pay so high. It's high stress even if it isn't physically demanding and I've only known one person who lasted more than 6 months doing it without finding something else. I also think the fact that your FI wants you to stop looking for another job is a serious problem. I get him not wanting you to turn that job down and be unemployed, but getting on your case for continuing to search for something you will enjoy more because HE doesn't want you working for the public and HE wants you to make more money so he can blow his bonus on a fancy TV tells me you guys are not on the same page when it comes to finances. You two need to have a serious talk about money and priorities. Things like making more money vs making less money but having a job you enjoy more are the types of things you need to be on the same page about. <strong>Especially if you're going to be a teacher, because teaching is NOT a high pay career.
    </strong>Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    It's very hiigh where I am from. Teachers can start @ $55k in certain districts- but we are a masters state. You can't teach in NY without a masters.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-am-so-annoyed-with-finding-a-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:1ab6ff45-f27b-4aa5-b8b8-f60177e8deb5Post:6e52fb80-1815-492c-aaa6-4d369fd31540">Re:I am so annoyed with finding a job.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I am so annoyed with finding a job. : It's very hiigh where I am from. Teachers can start @ $55k in certain districts- but we are a masters state. You can't teach in NY without a masters.
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    This is a joke right. 55K is not a lot for all the BS teachers need to deal with.
     
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-am-so-annoyed-with-finding-a-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1ab6ff45-f27b-4aa5-b8b8-f60177e8deb5Post:041449a8-8c4a-4c3c-9ea3-4d838a6eb54b">Re: I am so annoyed with finding a job.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I am so annoyed with finding a job. : I kind of feel like we're sharing a brain this week, Maggie.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Do you mean like this?

    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/4/f6e20bd0-b85c-41e8-b469-5a274d63d593.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/4/f6e20bd0-b85c-41e8-b469-5a274d63d593.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

    I figured this picture was appropriate because not only is it wedding related but they are literally sharing a brain!

    Sorry that was all I could find that wasn't a picture of conjoined twins connected by the head, and that is just a bit of a downer.  Google just does not have a lot of "sharing a brain" clip art LOL!

    And on another note, who actually gets wedding pictures taken like this?  Apparently the photographer does a lot of zombie wedding type pictures.  Crazy.

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    I definitely agree with PPs. Take the job, even if you don't think you're not going to like it. At this point in the economy, a job is a job. But absolutely keep looking for one that you think fits you best. There is nothing wrong with that at all. 

    I also agree that your FI is being selfish in all this. You deserve to be happy. I've had jobs that made me absolutely hate my life, and it's no fun. Thankfully, I found a job that I like much better, becuase I don't know how I would have gotten through that job without going postal on people.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-am-so-annoyed-with-finding-a-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1ab6ff45-f27b-4aa5-b8b8-f60177e8deb5Post:b012a213-ea5c-481c-a541-96e89839c57e">Re: I am so annoyed with finding a job.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I am so annoyed with finding a job. : Yes, JUST like that.  But I get to wear the tux this time. I'm pretty much as into the zombie hype as anyone and was before it was even cool.  I read Max Brooks for fun, have a Zombie crossing poster up in my office, and will basically watch anything with a zombie in it.  However, I can honestly say that a zombie wedding or zombie wedding photos never ONCE entered my mind.   i don't know if I'm relieved or worried that I should be committed.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    Maybe a zombie style trash the dress is in your future :)

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    You guys gave good advice! Thank you all for responding! I think I was kind of feeling like Stage and Maggie. Although, I do think usually we are on the same page about money. Neither of us are really choosing careers that will ever make us wealthy, and we are totally okay with that. For the most part, we back each other up on doing what makes us happy and not what makes us the most money. I guess we've still gotta eat though, you know? Also, I didn't mention that I have been super stressed out about other things, and basically using whining about this job non-stop as an outlet, so that is probably why he was so annoyed with me.

    Lucky for me, my problem solved itself because I was offered a position coordinating the after school program for a school district, and I start next week! So, I am super excited. It pays a tiny bit less than the other job, but it is like 1/8 of a mile from our apartment, so I kind of think it makes up for it. And my FI used his bonus to buy a 3D tv, and bought me a bracelet to apologize for being grumpy, and still has plenty of it left.

    And Owning- IMO, $55k for any job that requires a master's degree isn't high paying in ANY part of the country I've ever lived in, let alone NY. 
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    Yay!! Congratualtions on your new job. I'm glad you're not having to settle after all, even if it would have been for a little while.
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    edited January 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_i-am-so-annoyed-with-finding-a-job?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:1ab6ff45-f27b-4aa5-b8b8-f60177e8deb5Post:b964efef-c0e5-492e-b363-050efd6414fc">Re:I am so annoyed with finding a job.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I am so annoyed with finding a job. : This is a joke right. 55K is not a lot for all the BS teachers need to deal with.
    Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

    Like other jobs don't have BS?
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    Yeah, $55k is not getting you very far in NY, especially on Long Island!

    Congrats OP, I really hope you enjoy the new job :)
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