Ugh. I never post about personal issues on here, but I feel like a really need to vent to somebody unbiased.
So, my fiance and I just made a cross country move from Arkansas to Phoenix. He's from Arkansas, and I'm from Phoenix. We met and started dating here, but moved to Arkansas for about a year and a half after his father died to be closer to his mother. Neither of us liked it a whole lot, so we moved back here. We are both really happy to be back here.
So, we are both full time students. He's in the Army Reserves and doesn't really work other than that because he uses his GI Bill, which if you all aren't familiar means the army gives him a pretty generous living stipend just for being in school. So that's fine, I really don't mind that he doesn't work other than the Reserves. I on the other hand have worked borderline full time in addition to going to school. I also don't mind that too much, honestly. Anyway, back in Arkansas I was a substitute teacher, which I LOVED because I'm in school to be a teacher, it paid well, and the hours were flexible and I also worked at a feed store, which I liked. Before we moved to Arkansas I worked for Starbucks for like 5 years, which I also LOVED, because I'm chatty and I basically got paid and received good benefits for socializing all day. I've also dabbled in lots of other part time work nannying, and teaching summer camp classes and things like that. I've been really lucky to never have had a job that I didn't like.
So anyway, moving back to Phoenix I applied for a lot of jobs here. I'm not qualified to substitute teach here, so I've been applying for a vast range of different types of jobs. I have a friend who referred me to a job, and I ended up getting it, even though it was questionable to me whether or not I wanted it. Its a call center job, as a debt collector and it pays higher than what I would make working retail, or even the other jobs I've applied at within the school districts here as classroom assistants similar positions.
I really, really, REALLY do not want to take this call center job and I'm supposed to start in two weeks. I just know myself well enough to have a good feeling I am not going to enjoy it. My FI is really pressuring me to take it though, and he is getting really annoyed that I am entertaining applying for other jobs and going on other interviews. I feel like if I can get a job that will gain me experience in my field or would make me happier even if it paid a little less, I should take it. I feel like a couple more dollars an hour isn't worth it to me. It isn't really a huge money issue, IMO because we live in an apartment that is a lot less than we could afford even if I didn't have a job. That isn't me saying he should be paying all the bills, but our apartment is much cheaper than we can afford, and it is inclusive of all of our utilities. Neither of us have any debt other than our student debt, so other than car insurance and our cell phones we have very few other bills. We also have just both gotten our student loan refunds and he has also gotten his Army bonus, which is enough to basically cover all of our bills for a few months if we needed it to, so I kind of feel like I can be kind of choosey in the job department.
It is probably stupid, but I am so stressed out and dreading this thing. Today we were having lunch at a bakery, and they had a help wanted sign, and I started talking to the manager about the position and I was kind of trying to feel out whether or not I could get a baker position there (or anywhere) without any commercial experience. We left and my fiance was obviously agitated about it, and he said to me "I have never seen anybody who has a job look for a job as much as you" So I explained to him that I didn't want that other job, mostly because I didn't think I would like it due to the sheer nature of debt collections, and because it was a boring office job and I would rather be working with people directly, and I like being on my feet and able to move around a lot because I am a high energy person. He literally said to me "Sometimes I love how outgoing and enthusiastic you are, but sometimes it is your most annoying quality." Obviously that made me mad, so we got into a heated discussion after that.
It just really upsets me because we don't see eye to eye on this issue at all. He was kind of saying he wanted to use his bonus to buy a new TV, and not pay bills since I was offered a well paying position, and he was telling me HE really would like me to have an office job because he doesn't want me to work a physically demanding job while he doesn't have one. Yes, I told him that makes no sense at all, but he just doesn't get why I would turn down a higher paying office job for a lower paying more physically demanding job, like working child care or retail.
I'm really frustrated and I don't know what to do. I know if I decline this job offer, it will blow over with the FI and he will be just fine. I just kind of wonder if I should just take it and be thankful to have a job and let that be that. Am I being silly and childish about all this?